Chapter 28
Kim Woong, who had been carefully watching me make a fire, exclaimed in admiration.
“As expected, Benefactor, you’re amazing!”
“Yep.”
I was already getting tired of responding to that burdensome title.
Fwoosh.
The spark caught on the dry twigs, and warm heat spread out.
Experience really does matter. Once you get the hang of it, getting a fire going is quick, unlike the first time.
I skewered the fish I’d already cleaned onto a suitable branch and set them over the fire pit.
Sizzle.
The sound of dripping fat rose together with a savory smell.
Yerin wiped away the drool at the corner of her mouth and said,
“Wow... this looks insane. They grill stuff like this at famous Japanese izakayas.”
But then a problem came up.
I’d sweated so much earlier that I’d drunk way too much water.
I seriously had to pee.
I waited for the right moment, then quietly got to my feet.
“Um, I’m going to step outside for a bit.”
Kim Woong sprang to his feet at the same time.
“Benefactor, do you need anything?”
“...?”
“If there’s something to carry, I’ll come guard you! Haha.”
Thump!
Without a word, Yerin jabbed Kim Woong in the side with her elbow.
“Oof.”
Kim Woong looked like he had no idea what was going on,
and Yerin beckoned to him like she couldn’t stand it.
“Come here a second.”
Then she leaned in to his ear and whispered softly.
Whisper whisper.
Kim Woong jumped in surprise after hearing it.
“...Ah!”
Only then did he seem to understand, nodding in a hurry.
“Sorry. I spend all my time working out, so I’m a little bad at picking up on cues...”
Judging by the crestfallen look on his face, he really hadn’t known.
I was starting to see why he’d been kicked out of his group.
Needing to pee badly, I hurried out of the cave.
Bzzzz.
But there was another clueless one.
The drone quietly trailing after me.
I immediately waved my hand at the drone.
“Go away.”
It was basically a kind of sign language.
A gesture meaning, I’m about to take care of business, so don’t point the camera at me.
The drone hovered in the air for a moment, then slowly moved off in the other direction.
“...Why are you here too?”
Baby had followed right behind me.
Flick.
At my words, it only stuck out its tongue.
I had no choice but to head into the nearby brush with Baby.
The moment I squatted down, I felt it again.
This really was the most inconvenient part of having my body changed into a woman’s.
When I was a man, I could just unzip and spray at a decent spot like an automatic rifle and be done with it, but women have to squat down to take care of it.
And that was in the middle of a jungle, no less.
Trickle, trickle.
The relieving sound made all the tension drain out of me.
“Haa...”
I feel alive.
As I sat there blankly, squatting and staring ahead,
something long moved through the brush in front of me.
“...Huh?”
It looked like a branch was moving.
When I looked closer, it was a snake with its tongue sticking out.
“......!”
Stay calm.
I’d seen in documentaries that most snakes rarely attack people unless you mess with them first.
There’s even a saying about it.
The first person startles the snake.
The second person pisses it off.
The third person gets bitten.
I tightened my lower stomach to finish as fast as possible.
Pssshhh—
Maybe it didn’t like the louder sound of the stream.
Something was off about the way that thing was moving.
Normally, this was about when it should’ve slunk away.
Instead, it flicked its tongue and started coming toward me.
Was it because I looked that much like a total pushover?
“Hey. That’s cheating. Time out.”
Even after my ceasefire offer, it kept its head raised and inched closer.
Don’t come over here.
Seriously, I’m not ready yet.
Right now I was peeing in an extremely vulnerable posture, completely defenseless.
If I got attacked like this, I might go crashing over and end up getting pee all over my butt.
And the tactless stream of pee dribbling out showed no sign of stopping.
‘Should I pee on that thing?’
Just as I was thinking that,
Baby, who had been watching the whole scene, moved.
Sliiide.
“Baby?”
It moved right in front of me, blocking the way.
Flick.
—Come at me if you’ve got the guts.
It looked like that was what it was saying to the snake.
A formal 1-on-1 challenge.
Baby lowered itself and glared at the snake.
The snake also stopped moving, flicking its tongue as it warily watched the lizard that had suddenly appeared.
A strange tension hung between the two of them.
First strike wins.
Baby took a step toward the snake.
The size difference between the two was obvious.
If Baby was the heavyweight, that snake was a lightweight at best.
As its owner, all the money I’d spent on its food finally felt worth it.
The snake stayed frozen for a while, only watching cautiously, before finally turning and fleeing into the brush.
“Wow. That was close.”
Baby looked back at me, flicking its tail like it was nothing.
I vigorously rubbed the good little guy’s head.
“Good job.”
Flick.
Baby stuck out its tongue as if it was pleased.
You little snake bastard.
I’ve memorized your face.
I’ll turn you into snake wine before long.
@
Watching the fish turn a nice golden brown, Mister Rich asked the expert,
“Why do you think Rills kept failing at hunting and catching fish?”
The expert thought for a moment, then scratched his head.
“Honestly, that approach is pretty inefficient. With Rills’s build, it’d be far easier for her to make snares or fish traps than run around trying to catch things herself.”
“I see.”
“Especially fish traps. Once you set one up, they can practically supply food automatically. Honestly, I’m not sure why she’s so set on catching things directly like that.”
Hearing that, Mister Rich grinned.
“Ah, that’s probably because of the romance of it.”
“Romance?”
“She said something like that during the last interview.”
Mister Rich went on while looking at Rills on the screen.
“She said she wanted to catch fish herself and try hunting too.”
“I see.”
“She has a romantic ideal about surviving on a deserted island.”
“You’d expect that kind of fantasy from men, so it’s refreshing hearing it from Rills.”
Bzzzt.
The latest smartphone lying on the table gave a short vibration.
Mister Rich checked the screen, then glanced toward the producer.
As if used to it, the producer moved at once.
Click.
The mic for the broadcast was switched off,
and he naturally took the call.
“Yes. This is Mister Rich.”
After listening to the person on the other end for a moment, his brows rose slightly.
“Hmm... that’s not within my authority. Yes. I’ll pass it along for now. Haha. Yes, I should be the one thanking you.”
After ending the brief call, Mister Rich set his smartphone back down.
The expert beside him asked with a curious look,
“You must be busy.”
“Ah, it’s nothing much.”
Mister Rich let out a short laugh.
“You remember the Sen Ramen Yerin-nim and Rills-nim ate this time, right?”
“Yes. They really seemed to enjoy it.”
“Most of the products that show up on our program are product placements, after all.”
“Is that so?”
“Yes. And just now, I got a personal call from the chairman of Sen Ramen.”
The expert’s eyes widened.
“Wow... Sen Ramen is the undisputed number one in the ramen industry, isn’t it?”
“That’s right.”
“As expected, your influence is enormous.”
Mister Rich let out a disbelieving laugh.
“He said sales have jumped nearly fivefold and wanted to express his thanks.”
“That’s insane. Five times?”
“So he wants to use Yerin-nim and Rills-nim as ad models... and asked me if that would be possible.”
The expert burst out laughing.
“Hahaha. But that really is outside your authority, isn’t it, Mister Rich?”
“That’s exactly what I said.”
Mister Rich shrugged.
“I’m just the host of the show, so what authority do I have? Since it’s a sponsor asking, I do plan to pass along the offer after the show’s over... but who knows.”
“Running a business really is hard.”
“It is. It’s not easy. Hahaha.”
Laughter echoed through the studio inside the cruise ship.
@
Sizzle, sizzle.
Watching the fish turn golden over the charcoal, Yerin asked carefully,
“But this fish... what kind is it? It’s edible, right?”
I pictured what the fish I’d cleaned had looked like.
Silver scales and a thick body.
Sharp teeth and a big mouth.
“It’s probably barramundi.”
“Barra... what?”
“It’s a fish that lives a lot around Southeast Asian coasts. I heard it’s tasty.”
“How do you even know that?”
“I saw it in a documentary.”
By now, Yerin had probably almost given up, because she didn’t ask any more.
A little later.
Fat started dripping from the nicely browned fish.
I picked up one that looked properly cooked and handed it to Yerin.
“Be careful, it’s hot.”
“Thanks.”
Yerin blew on it and tore off a piece of flesh.
“...Wow!”
“...?”
“It’s super savory. And salty too, like someone sprinkled salt on it.”
Yerin immediately started tearing into the fish.
“This is insane.”
“...”
“It’s so freaking good.”
Kim Woong kept nodding in admiration too.
“Wow... this is seriously good.”
“Right?”
“I don’t even like fish that much, but I can’t stop eating it. I like chicken breast, you see.”
As expected, gym rats really do have different tastes.
Not even chicken thigh, but chicken breast.
I couldn’t understand it at all.
We devoured every last fish in no time.
The heavy fullness settling in my stomach put me in a good mood,
and I flopped right down onto the bamboo bed.
They say lying down right after eating a full meal is bad for your health,
but what’s the point of living long?
What mattered more to me was being happy right now.
Yerin seemed to think similarly, because she dropped down beside me too.
“Haaah...”
She even scratched her belly vigorously.
“Yerin-nim. Are you really a girl streamer?”
“Is that really what’s important right now?”
Yerin mumbled without even opening her eyes.
“I’m full.”
“...”
“And there’s even a bed to lie on.”
“...”
“This is heaven.”
Watching us, Kim Woong fidgeted like a puppy that needed to poop.
“What’s wrong?”
“...Um.”
“...?”
“I think I should probably build myself a shelter.”
Kim Woong continued cautiously.
“Sorry, but could you lend me your knife?”
“Ah.”
“I’ll be as careful with it as possible.”
I casually handed him the jungle knife.
It’s not like a famous streamer would borrow my knife and run off with it.
“Thank you!”
Kim Woong accepted the knife with a moved expression and quickly left the cave.
Quite a bit of time passed after that.
But.
He wasn’t coming back.
Clatter bang.
I could keep hearing the sound of him busily making something outside the cave,
and after lying there listening to it for a while, I slowly pushed myself up.
Even with all that racket, Yerin was sound asleep.
Baby was asleep too, curled up in a ball beside her.
The two of them were sleeping so comfortably, like this was their own bedroom.
I watched them fondly for a moment, then stepped out of the cave.
...Ah.
The first thing I saw was bamboo and branches set at strange angles.
It was shaped sort of like a shelter, but it was incredibly sloppy.
The roof angle was weird too, so if it rained, it’d turn into less of a shelter and more of a flooded house.
This is a total mess.
I finally understood why old men at senior centers could never resist backseat-coaching people.
In the end, I walked over to Kim Woong and opened my mouth.
“That’s not how you build that.”