Chapter 59
—Kuzulesse Oblige.
It was the one and only hope I had, after somehow finding myself possessing Kuzutos, an utterly irredeemable character hated by everyone.
Speaking of Kuzutos, he was one of the mid-bosses in the 18+ game Last Arcanum. He was infamous as an unpopular character because he needlessly ramped up the difficulty.
Of course, it wasn't just the game mechanics; he was hated in the story as well, where he did nothing but get in the protagonist's way.
Used and abused by the forces behind the scenes, he ultimately died without even being acknowledged during the supposedly moving scene where the protagonist's team, facing the final boss, recalled everyone they'd met and Sieg declared, “I won't let someone like you destroy the world I'm supposed to protect...!”
Apparently, Kuzutos hadn't even made it into the category of “the world I'm supposed to protect” for the protagonist, Sieg.
What a pathetic guy.
That was why I came up with Kuzulesse Oblige.
What made Kuzutos such a scumbag.
I stepped in as the mysterious man Genesis when Kuzutos was on the verge of insulting one of the main heroines to her face and frittering away his days, back when they were children.
And so,
Having eliminated the cause of his becoming a despised character, I would be able to cheer on the protagonist, Sieg, at my leisure as one ordinary mob character, and perhaps even earn a tiny place in the corner of Sieg-kun's “world I'm supposed to protect”—
...or so I thought.
For nearly two weeks now,
before I knew it,
I HAD DONE ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.
◆
A refreshing breeze blew into the room.
In the room prepared for me stood a fine wooden table.
“So, what am I supposed to do now?”
Meanwhile, I had given up thinking.
...That's right.
Humans are strange creatures.
The more something absolutely has to be done, the more you find yourself thinking, “Ugh, what a pain.”
It's the so-called summer vacation homework phenomenon.
I've been that kind of person since I was fairly young. Every summer, I'd wait until the last day of vacation, try to remember the weather for all thirty days, and start writing thirty days' worth of illustrated diary entries—a truly unproductive way to spend the summer.
I sighed.
—But this was different. This was something I had to do.
With that in mind, I looked at the stack of papers in front of me.
About two weeks ago, my Kuzulesse Oblige seemed to have gone perfectly.
But now, things were starting to feel seriously ominous.
The first sheet was a newspaper from Lyon.
“Wow, I'm so happy.”
It reported on the incident involving Baldo the Shadowless Blade, a man who apparently mistook his sword for a piece of candy or something.
Apparently, that idiot had nearly wiped out the Knights' Order.
I didn't understand any of this anymore. Had he actually been a hidden character with some special unlock condition?
Maybe he appeared if the player kept licking their sword over and over...?
“No, that's not happening.”
Yeah, no matter how I looked at it, that couldn't be it. It would make me question the development team's sanity.
I turned my attention to the second letter.
It was from Iris, who'd suddenly become very close to me after the Lyon incident... well, more accurately, she'd suddenly closed the distance despite my not wanting her to.
When I'd seen her at the thieves' hideout, she'd seemed demure, but apparently she'd gone right back to her old self.
Her letters were full of earnest messages like, “You should rethink what you said,” and “Do you have any information about the masked man, Genesis?”
Incidentally, I'd carefully burned the letter from that deranged, psychopathic mayor, Gregorio.
By now, it should be happily nourishing the plants in the mansion's backyard. It had seemed ominous, so I'd crossed myself, said a Buddhist prayer, and hoped, “Please let me never have anything to do with him again.”
Liera had lit up and said, “C-could that be an incantation for a new kind of magic?!” but it wasn't anything like that.
I didn't want to have anything more to do with lunatics.
Got it?
This isn't a flag, okay?
But there was something besides those papers that was troubling me.
“Ultos-sama...!”
“Y-yeah?”
I turned around when she called out to me.
I saw Liera, the blonde maid. The beautiful girl gazing at me held out a teapot, looking strangely excited.
“Here you are. It's the finest tea leaves from Gradiol.”
“Thanks.”
I took a sip from the teacup of black tea.
A gentle warmth spread through me.
...This is the best. With my mob life constantly being interrupted, tea was about the only comfort I had right now.
And yet Liera wouldn't leave, even as I slowly drank my tea.
With no choice, I reluctantly tried to make conversation.
“...Liera, what's up? You seem cheerful today, too.”
“Yes! Liera is happy today, too, seeing you make plans to get moving again, Ultos-sama!”
“Oh...”
This again.
Liera, gazing at me and bashfully lowering her eyes, was adorable.
But I couldn't forget:
It seemed this girl was trying to drag me onto the public stage.
That's right.
Liera had become quite taken with the sight of Genesis fighting for his life all night during the Lyon incident.
I was grateful. So grateful I could cry.
...Liera.
I'm sorry, but Genesis is dead. Specifically, that mask is lying in storage in our mansion.
And then.
There was this man, who was interfering with my mob life just as much as the letters and Liera were.
Speak of the devil.
Suddenly, I heard a man's voice.
“Ka-ka-ka-ka!”
There it was.
Speak of the devil, and a chuunibyo shows up.
◆
I turned toward the voice.
There was a man standing near the door.
He was dressed in a very distinctive style. His clothes were in tatters, giving him the look of a vagrant at first glance.
“...Enrique.”
“Yo, young master. Looking well, I see.”
The man walked into the room, chuckling.
That's right.
This was Enrique, a man afflicted with chuunibyo, an incurable disease that no high-grade potion in this world could cure.
Incidentally, I'd once suggested he try getting a haircut and cleaning himself up a little, but...
To my amazement, Enrique had said, “I don't wanna cut my hair. Women start flocking to me when I do.”
To think he had delusions on top of his chuunibyo... He was truly beyond saving.
Then Enrique, burdened with those twin afflictions, came over and grinned at me.
“So, young master. What are you going to do next?”
“Enrique... you too?”
That's right.
Apparently, Enrique couldn't forget that night either, and at every opportunity he pestered me with things like, “Young master! What are we doing next?” or “Come on! Let's start the greatest festival ever!” day and night.
It was beyond annoying.
But I wasn't an idiot, either.
I'd already started to figure out how to handle Enrique.
Well, basically, all I had to do was think about myself.
Back in middle and high school, when my chuunibyo was at its peak, I wouldn't have cared if someone told me, “You're wrong.”
—Then I had to do the opposite.
I set down my teacup and cloaked my body in magic power.
Then, to create a serious atmosphere, I released some magic power with a hint of intimidation.
“—Calm down, Enrique. Everything has its time and place, doesn't it?”
So I told him.