Chapter 68
"...Well then, Father. I'd like to hear why you called me here, if you don't mind."
Riera had called for me, so I entered the mansion's dining room.
Waiting there were an extravagant dinner and my father, who—as always—seemed like a thoroughly decent man.
Father had already started drinking wine and was in an exceptionally good mood.
I had a bad feeling about this, but reluctantly took a seat. As soon as I sat down, Father began to speak.
"All right, let's get straight to the point. Two weeks from now, there's a very important diplomatic matter in a certain city. Unfortunately, I can't go, but I'd like someone from House Randall to attend."
After saying that much, Father paused for breath.
"—My son, Ultos. Would you be interested in a chance to make a name for yourself?"
"..........."
Father was looking at me as if he clearly expected something.
His gaze practically spelled out his intentions: "Ultos, this is your chance!"
But I had no interest in that kind of chance, thank you very much.
I pretended not to notice what Father was getting at and answered with a smile.
"Oh, I'm fine, thanks."
"That's right, that's right. A noble must make a name for himself... Wait, you're fine?"
"Yep, I'm fine, Father. Thanks for your concern."
"............U-Ultos?"
"Wow, the food at our house is delicious as always."
Father's frozen expression met my smile.
And now for the coup de grâce.
I flashed him a bright smile and declared once more, just to drive the point home.
"No, really, I'm fine."
"Huh?"
Father was dumbfounded.
I glanced at him as I picked at my food and let out a weary sigh.
♦♦♦
In short, my wise—yes, that's sarcasm—father's proposal went like this:
There was an important diplomatic event attended by other countries. But he was too busy to go.
Wait, but his son Ultos was free!
Great, go in my place, son!
...And that was more or less the idea.
A brilliant plan, to be sure—if you ignored the fact that he hadn't considered what the other attendees would think.
As I'd just told Riera, I didn't want to stand out, and a kid like me showing up at a diplomatic event would only earn me disapproving looks.
House Randall was one of the most distinguished families around, but at present, thanks to the odd combination of our kind but scatterbrained parents and Kuzutos,
"...The current Duke of Randall... Well, I mean... They're not bad people, but..."
we were being treated with faint praise in high society. Why would I want to spread more bad rumors about myself?
I offered my dejected father a word of warning, just to be safe.
"Father, I really don't plan on going."
But then—
"Heh heh heh..."
Father, who'd been downcast by my response, lifted his head and smiled slyly.
With a suspicious chuckle, he said:
"Ultos. Did you think I hadn't noticed?"
"—Huh?"
Father kept that daring smile on his face as he raised his head.
I was taken aback.
But the very next moment, a chill ran down my spine.
His sudden change in demeanor. And that loaded line, "Did you think I hadn't noticed?"
Had he figured it out??? What had he noticed???
Could he have found out about my game knowledge??
"Heh heh heh."
"............"
It was a peaceful dinner.
The man before me was sipping his wine, but my guard shot up in an instant.
I went on high alert, steadying my breathing so he wouldn't notice.
Ready to fight at any moment.
Maybe I'd been careless.
I'd underestimated my father.
What an idiot I was, I thought.
I'd let my preconceptions get the better of me. The man in front of me was the head of House Randall.
It was true that in the original game he'd been an unparalleled pushover, easily deceived by Gregorio. But that was only what I'd known from the game.
That's right.
The man before me was still the head of one of the kingdom's most renowned ducal houses.
Any remotely sensible parent, no matter how doting, would never take a son who'd been going around saying things like "widdle me" and "bikini armor" until just recently to a diplomatic event.
—Which meant this was a trap.
A trap to lull me into a false sense of security by pretending to be a doting father.
That was bad.
There was a real chance he'd grown suspicious of me.
I looked at my father again.
His eyes were a little narrow, and his face was carefree and easygoing.
But I couldn't let my guard down.
Now that I thought about it, Gregorio had seemed like such a pleasant young man, yet he'd put on an elaborate act. Maybe my father's thoroughly good-natured face was all part of a carefully calculated act, too—
"Ultos. I've finally figured it out."
"...I see."
I braced myself and replied without lowering my guard.
What had he figured out? How much had he noticed? How far had I been found out?
My mind raced as I prepared for the worst.
"Then, Father, what exactly did you figure out?"
My magic surged through my body—
"That my son has finally gotten serious!"
"...Huh?"
A surprisingly peaceful statement reached my ears.
"Gotten serious...?"
I stared at Father in a daze.
Personally, I thought he might say something like,
"You're not the original Ultos. Something's wrong with you!" Or
"What were you doing in Lyon that night?!"
...Gotten serious????
But while I stood there dumbfounded, Father earnestly nodded to himself again and again.
"My spoiled little boy, who was so obsessed with 'widdle me' and 'bikini armor' until just recently, has become such a fine young man... I'm so happy. Everyone says you've been 'so serious lately, it's like you've become a different person.' At long last, you've finally become aware of your responsibilities as the only son of House Randall...!"
Oh, that's what he meant???
I stared at Father, utterly appalled. He dabbed at his eyes, overcome with emotion, and was crying.
...No, no, no. Wait, hold on.
Was Father really going to explain Ultos's sudden change as nothing more than him starting to apply himself?
I hurriedly tried to clarify what he thought was going on.
"F-Father, did you really not think it was strange? I mean, I used to say all kinds of embarrassing things in public, like 'some kind of armor,' and then suddenly I became serious!"
This was starting to feel like torture.
Why did I have to explain the whole bikini armor thing as if I were the one who'd said it...?
"What are you talking about, Ultos? We were a little worried about you, what with all that 'bikini armor' business."
So my parents had only been a little worried about the legendary bikini armor remark, the disastrous opening line that had damaged the dignity of House Randall and driven away the soldiers they'd just gathered.
What a shame.
If they knew about it, I wish they'd stopped me—even if they had to beat me over the head.
"But Ultos, those kinds of things happen when you're young."
"Y-yes..."
Father kept glancing at me, radiating the feeling that he'd just said something profound.
Apparently, Father planned to wave away his son swaggering around the mansion with the utterly undignified first-person pronoun "widdle me" and declaring, "Bring me a female adventurer in bikini armor!" as nothing more than youthful indiscretion.
Amazing. He was a proper lunatic.
I'd seen plenty of dangerous people in this world, like Gregorio and Enrique, but in terms of obliviousness—or sheer lunacy—Father might be near the top of the list.
"Um, Father..."
I sighed.
In short, Father had noticed the change in me, but had simply interpreted it as me finally starting to apply myself.
I stopped the flow of magic through my body. Going on high alert for nothing had worn me out, but whatever.
The best thing to do in a situation like this was to counter with a reasonable argument.
"To begin with, there won't be any children my age there, will there? It'd be a little strange for me to be the only one."
I said that to my father, who seemed to be getting drunk already and was inexplicably moved,
"A capable hawk really does hide its talons. My son even fooled the world with his bikini armor...!"
...No, bikini armor had nothing to do with fooling the world.
It was simply your son's fetish.
"Actually, there will be others your age this time. You'll have a traveling companion."
"A companion? Who? It's an important diplomatic event, and given the location, I'd think the other person would have to be someone pretty prominent."
"Ultos, surely you've heard the rumors. It's Rain, the captain of Lyon's knights."
"...Oh?"
That was an unexpected name.
Rain.
Last time, between my being disguised as Genesis and Baldo—the sword-licker—getting in the way, I hadn't gotten a good look at Rain at all.
Rain was a named powerhouse in the original story, too, so Rain was certainly a suitable person to accompany me.
And Rain was someone worth getting to know, as well—
Just then,
I had a premonition.
Rain was going to be my companion this time.
And Father had said there would be someone my age, too.
"Father, when you say someone my age, do you mean...?"
"That's right!"
Father nodded cheerfully.
"Rain's child will be coming, too. So I thought our son could come along—"
"I see."
The moment I heard that, a smile slipped onto my face.
My plan, "Kuzulesse Oblige," seemed to have succeeded—but as a result, the original protagonist, Sieg-kun, was still frozen by trauma and couldn't bring himself to act.
That's right.
For the sake of my carefree mob life, I absolutely had to do something about this situation.
All I was missing was one last piece. I just hadn't been able to meet Sieg-kun.
But now, that piece was about to fall into place.
And to think Sieg-kun was coming to me.
"Father."
I smiled warmly.
I was filled with gratitude toward my father.
"Please let me take back what I said. I've changed my mind. Could you tell me more about it?"
—My Kuzulesse Oblige was far from over.
Incidentally, Father was deeply moved when he heard my answer.
"Ultos...! That's my boy—the future head of House Randall!"
"Yes, Father. I'll fulfill the mission you've entrusted to me."
I looked at Father, who was crying so hard that a maid had handed him a towel.
Well, I'd been wondering if he was all right, but this time, I had Father to thank.
I stood up, thinking we might as well have a toast.
"Ultos... you..."
"A toast, Father."
"Ah, yes," Father said, lifting his glass.
With the biggest smile imaginable, he said:
"The talented hawk is finally about to take flight—after casting off the armor known as bikini armor."
As he said that,
"Father. Before we talk about me going on a diplomatic mission, swear that you'll never use that expression in public again."
And so,
I ended up asking for the details in front of Father, who turned to the maid for help and said, "It's great that my son has finally gotten serious, but isn't he being a little harsh on me...?"