Chapter 96
My breath stops, and my vision darkens.
A tremor beginning in the hand covering my mouth spreads throughout my body, and before long I can no longer remain standing, barely managing to brace myself against the wall.
[...$Al@ice]
Even Momo's voice beside me fails to reach me, as though coming from underwater.
...So this is what it means for fear to be etched into you.
Memories etched into the body itself, fear etched into the soul itself, paralyze reason and bring instinct to the surface.
An instinct that places escape from that thing above even the instinct for survival, insisting I must get away from it even if it means dying, rouses my body from deep within.
It was only natural to expect that if another seizure struck in the Abyss, where I had no medication, I would not end up in a good state.
-Crack...
"Hh... Hnn..."
[&lice?!]
Before instinct could completely swallow my body, I moved the hand covering my mouth, put a finger in my mouth, and bit down with all my strength.
Hard enough that I wondered whether I might actually injure myself if I wasn't careful.
'Shut up... I'm your master.'
My body remembers? It's etched into my soul? What am I supposed to do about that?
This was not a good time to have a seizure. This was not a time when I could shove medication into my mouth and huddle there alone, whimpering like I did at home.
'You're doing this because you hate that bitch... So shut up. This isn't helping at all right now.'
It was the finger I had bitten down on through the glove. If I hadn't been wearing gloves, it definitely would have bled. There would certainly already be a mark.
But shock therapy had definitely worked. Damn this body.
My vision, which had familiarly blacked out and begun turning into a dark basement, returned to the hideout, and the trembling in my legs was subsiding.
[...Are you conscious, Alice?]
"...Yes. I showed you an ugly side of myself. Please pretend you didn't see it."
[Deleting memory...]
"...It really gets deleted?"
[It seems to be necessary information for now, so I will delete it later. It appears to be information connected to Alice's direct psychological state.]
"...All right."
In any case, what mattered was whether my identity was exposed after escaping. If they found out I was a fake in the Abyss, only for me to be unable to return to Earth and rot here, it would all be meaningless.
[The voice analysis is 99% identical to Alice's voice. A detailed analysis reveals slight differences, but to the average listener, they would sound almost identical. The difference is minor enough to be attributed to the condition of your throat.]
"...Probably. She's Alice's doppelgänger."
[It has been confirmed that Alice's doppelgänger is in the Abyss. And she is apparently the Queen who rules the Garden. Judging by the circumstances, the Queen seems to be the only being in the Garden capable of treating S-rank or stronger Abyssal Ones like pets.]
"...This is the worst-case scenario. I was certain, but secretly hoped it wouldn't turn out this way."
It felt awful to say that after becoming certain, but having it confirmed still made me feel like shit.
"The breeze was cool tonight, so it would have been nice to take a walk. What a shame."
Even as she said that, the familiar voice scattered by the wind came floating back through the grass.
"Tomorrow, I'm going for a walk outside the Garden. You'll have to do your best there, too, all right? The Queen doesn't tend to venture out herself."
-Grrk
'...Outside the Garden?'
The one thing I could call fortunate was that she didn't seem to have noticed our presence.
If she was the one I knew, she would have rushed over here the instant she realized I was here. I don't know whether she'd attack, but at the very least she'd spout all sorts of things that would make my head spin.
The possibility that she was suppressing her emotions to deceive me? It wasn't zero. But it wasn't high, either.
Given the power she was described as having in the Abyss, she could subdue me with one arm without needing to bother with deception, so why would she?
After those words, I heard no more of her or the Abyssal One called Jabberwock. Her voice had been carried on the wind in the first place, so I didn't know where she was.
".........This is horrifying. It's the worst-case scenario Alice imagined."
[We need to assess her combat power. Alice, forgive me for asking, but if you encountered the Queen, how long do you think you could hold out? And do you think you could escape?]
"............"
I didn't want to imagine the subject, but it was necessary, so I ran a simulation in my head.
I don't know how much stronger she has become, so it's difficult to calculate precisely... but using the fact that she actually killed three S-rank Abyssal Ones in the past, and that the Dullahan Abyssal One I fought was effortlessly subdued by her, as a basis for calculation...
"...If I lasted five minutes, I'd have done well. I think I could escape. If I spammed Stellar Shift... as long as it stayed within the bounds of common-sense abilities, she wouldn't be able to keep up."
[We should avoid even encountering her as much as possible. Although it is not an officially used designation, at that level, terms like SS-rank or SSS-rank seem genuinely necessary.]
"...Momo, do you happen to have a sleep-induction function? I think I need to get some sleep, at least. Alice doesn't think she can sleep comfortably right now."
[I will play sounds scientifically proven to promote deep sleep. Starting tomorrow, let's see whether we can make a sleep aid from plants in the Abyss.]
"...We'll have to talk when Miss Black Rose wakes up."
Now that things had come to this, I needed to talk with Black Rose as well.
If I summarized the choices, there were three.
Either bury my bones in the Abyss, flee to another dimension, or find a way to pinpoint Earth's coordinates.
...For some reason, it felt like a night when I wouldn't be able to sleep even if I took an actual sleeping pill.
* * *
"So. This is the situation we're in. Do you understand, Miss Black Rose?"
"I just woke up...?"
"Oh. I ran too many simulations in my head. All right. Let me explain again."
In the end, I didn't sleep properly, but it was fine. I was in transformed form right now. Missing some sleep wouldn't cause any major problems. In fact, it wasn't just a little—the quality of my sleep had declined ever since coming to the Abyss.
"First... I've roughly figured out how to open the Abyss Hole that the Abyssal Ones call hunting... and go to another dimension."
"Really?!"
"There are two main ways to leave the Abyss for an outside dimension. One is to head through a portal to one of the many dimensions connected to the Abyss, and the other is to visit a specific dimension using its 'coordinates.'"
"Th-then if we just know Earth's coordinates...!"
-Flinch
But perhaps Black Rose realized it after she spoke, because her expression began to turn pitch-black.
"...The coordinates of Earth... do you happen to know them, Senior?"
"...No. And neither does Momo. Besides, we have no way to communicate with Earth right now."
"Then the only way is..."
"...For now, the former is our only option."
It wasn't pleasant for me to tell her, either, but it couldn't be helped. Not telling her wouldn't change the facts.
"...When you say another dimension connected to the Abyss, you mean dimensions other than Earth...? Places we don't even know anything about...?"
"...I suppose so. I haven't been to another dimension myself, so I can't say for certain."
I wasn't telling her to choose right away. Honestly, I still hadn't made up my own mind.
But...
"...Miss Black Rose. Alice promised you, remember? Alice will do everything she can to keep you safe."
...Save those I can.
The personal rule I had established and upheld while acting as Alice had already taken firm root in my heart.
"If you want to go to another dimension, even if that's what it takes, I'll do everything I can to help you, and if you decide to find a way back to Earth, Alice will help with that, too. I won't let you end up alone, Miss Black Rose."
"Senior..."
"...Think it over."
I said that and stepped aside. A little while later, I began to hear sobbing from inside.
"Sob... Sniff..."
The sorrow of lamenting how she had ended up in this situation, the helplessness of having nothing she could do in these circumstances, and the relief of knowing she had someone to rely on, mixed with guilt toward that person.
The first two were emotions I knew well myself.
'...If she decides to go to another dimension, I suppose I'll have to send Momo along.'
I still hadn't made a decision. If you asked whether I had any attachment to Earth... not particularly.
I had no family left, no friends, and if you asked whether I had accumulated much wealth, it wasn't particularly impressive, either.
If there was anything I would hate to leave behind, it would be the save data for all those games, and the games I'd bought but never even played?
Thinking coldly, starting over in another dimension might actually be better than staying on Earth, where I had to worry about disguising myself as Alice, but...
'...Hah. How am I supposed to know what another dimension is like?'
It was unlikely to be the sort of other world that appeared only in manga, novels, and games. The fact that it was connected to the Abyss meant it was a dimension under attack by the Abyssal Ones. Ending up in a world on the brink of destruction, in an even worse situation than Earth's, would be the worst possible choice.
'...Anyway. They said those roses were an energy source.'
The dark-red roses the cards harvested every day. They were the currency and energy of the Garden. The Garden's Abyssal Ones were paid in them, and roses were consumed even for the most important task of going out to hunt.
They said the number consumed depended on the strength of the beings traveling, so the difference between the amount needed for Black Rose and me would be enormous.
And I'd heard that among the several castles standing in the Garden, there was one responsible for hunting, where the portals were located. I thought I might find some additional clue if I went there.
[I heard that the Queen's portrait hangs in the castle. We should be able to check there as well.]
"...It'll probably look exactly like Alice."
Eight years had passed since then, so her appearance might have changed... but who knew?
Considering my appearance and family history, there was a high chance she hadn't changed much from back then, either.
Anyway... today's objective was set: the Castle of Hunting. Or, failing that, spying on the soldiers near it.
And one final, most important fact.
Absolutely. I must not meet the Queen.
Because the moment I did, the game would be over.