Chapter 2 - Physical Examination

"Again."

"Sigh… No matter how many times we try, the result will be the same. You should just move on to the next exam—"

"Again!"

I grabbed the receptionist in front of me. “Let me do it again!!!” This was already my tenth try. Yet, I had to keep going.

Hahaha! This couldn’t be happening. It couldn’t! It was absolutely impossible!!!

Think about it! I’ve entered a novel, right? That means I’m the protagonist, right?

If I’m the protagonist, then, you know, I should have some kind of special talent or ability to hook readers from the start. 

That’s basic storytelling! The core of any plot!

There should be a huge commotion here over the latent magical power inside me. I should be catching the heroine’s eye.

But why?

[ Unable to detect any magical power. ]

Why does this message keep showing up?

I removed the magic measurement device from my arm and handed it back to the receptionist. She frowned, clearly tired of dealing with me, but all I could say was one word:

"Again."

***

Justitia.

The world’s top hero training academy. Its name means "great justice." Fitting for a hero, right?

This island, created by dozens of mages, is a marvel of magical engineering—a fusion of science and sorcery.

The pinnacle of human achievement.

Which meant…

The exam results from here are never wrong. They can’t be wrong.

------------------  

Name: Lee Sunghoon  

Gender: Male  

Height: 176 cm  

Weight: 64 kg  

Unique Magic: [Undisclosed]  

Skills: [Undisclosed] [Undisclosed] [Undisclosed]  

[Physical Strength (Lowest)] 

[Muscular Strength (Lowest)] 

[Agility (Low)] 

[Magic Power (Unmeasurable)]  

------------------  

I crumpled up the paper. Of course, it turned out this way. I sit in front of a computer all day, so having any decent physical stats would be weird.

“Damn that god!”

I tried measuring my magic power five more times before they kicked me out. I broke over ten devices, blaming "malfunctions," but the result was always the same—[Unmeasurable]. The receptionist even muttered, "How did this guy even get in here?" under her breath, not bothering to hide the exasperation. Yeah, I’d like to know that too.

In this world, everyone has magic power.

Even toddlers have it. Meaning, in a fight, I could legitimately lose to a five-year-old.

I’m definitely going to get even with you, you damn god.

BOOM!!

As my hatred festered, an explosion rang out behind me. From the magic measurement section, where I had just been tested.

“What?! The magic power measuring device exploded? That’s impossible! Is it malfunctioning? Bring another one!”

“This is the first time something like this has happened! Impossible!”

“Well, my magic is quite abundant~”

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

I scowled at the continuous explosions. And there, standing with her nose in the air, was the cause of the commotion. A blonde woman with piercing blue eyes.

She sneered at me with a look that seemingly said, “How about that?” 

You know? I kind of wanted to punch her.

People crowded around Raphael, the attention magnet, their hands full of magic measuring devices.

“Try this one too!”

“No matter how many times we check, it’s the same~”

“Oh! Such talent! Finally, someone like this at Justitia~~”

I turned away. I couldn’t stand it anymore. The relative deprivation was getting too real. As I tried to ignore the explosions behind me, I found myself at the entrance to the next exam room.

Its name was… [Combat Power Examination Room].

Great. Just what I needed.

I can’t fight. The only people I stand a chance against are elementary school kids or middle school girls—

“Aren’t you going to register?”

“…I guess I have to.”

I gave my name to the receptionist and sat on a nearby chair. It seemed I had to wait for my turn, so I did my best to sit quietly.

A monitor nearby caught my eye. Someone was stepping into an empty space on the screen.

“They show the previous person’s test too?”

“Yeah, to stir up some competitive spirit.”

Ugh. I hate this. This system was basically a public execution for anyone at the bottom. Which moron came up with this?

…Oh, right. It was me. I added this feature early on to highlight character personalities.

Well, karma’s a bitch. Fuck you past me! You should’ve been nicer!

"Huh?"

As I squinted at the monitor, I noticed someone familiar. The protagonist of this novel. Black hair tinged with blue, features sharp like a sculpture, and disgustingly handsome even from a guy’s perspective. He drew his weapon.

[ Begin Stage ]

As if on cue, he moved—and the result was instantaneous.

I blinked, and the first stage was over. Then the next stage. And the next. And the next after that.

He cleared five stages in less than a minute. Everyone watched in awe.

Well, of course, they will be shocked. Kim Taehyun was already stronger than most active heroes.

“Do I have to interfere with that?”

The novel, The Ice Knight of the Academy, was written for a smooth, frustration-free read. A protagonist who never lost, who bulldozed his way through without facing real obstacles. Readers ate it up at first.

Well, it’s not like I’ll be fighting him directly. Maybe it won’t matter. I just need to sabotage him. 

I nodded to myself.

[ Next, Rank 1028, Lee Sunghoon ]

After a while, I heard my name being called and headed toward the examination room. But as I was about to cross the threshold, I stopped in my tracks.

“What did you just say?”

[ Pardon? ]

The guide, speaking through the intercom, seemed to have heard me. 

“What rank did you say?”

I couldn't let this slide.

[ 1028th. ]

“...1028th? I see, I see. And how many places from the bottom is that, exactly?”

There was no answer—just a few awkward static clicks.

[ L-Last place. ]

“...”

I quietly stepped into the examination room. I was beyond shock, I couldn’t even be mad anymore.

“No ability, no magic, and now no rank? Really?”

How stingy can one god be? You could’ve at least given me something. I mean, anything. A higher rank wouldn’t have killed you.

[ Please choose a weapon and inform us when you’re ready. ]

Still grumbling, I walked over to the weapon rack as instructed. Since I didn’t know how to use any weapons, I just grabbed a sword at random.

But the sword—

“It’s heavy!”

It was so heavy, I could barely lift it. Yeah, that’s what happens when you’ve spent twenty-five years mastering the art of not exercising.

As I struggled to raise the sword, a voice suddenly echoed through the room.

[ Begin Stage ]

The scenery shifted, and three goblins popped out of nowhere.

“Whoa?!”

Even if you expect it, it’s only natural to freak out when monsters suddenly appear in front of you. And, wow, Justitia wasn’t kidding around—this magical engineering stuff looked real.

The goblins I’d only imagined before were now standing in front of me. Green skin, mismatched pupils, drool oozing from their mouths.

“Well, it’s just a hologram anyway.”

These were fake monsters, made with magical engineering. Nothing to fear, right? I just had to do what I could!

As they raised their clubs, I painfully lifted my sword to my waist level. Yup, no way it was going any higher than that. No way.

“Ugh.”

As I struggled to maintain this sad excuse for a combat stance, squaring off with the goblins, a weird message popped up in front of me.

[ Entering combat stance. Unique magic [Magic Eye] activated. ]

“What?”

I let out a dumbfounded noise as the already shifting scenery was altered once again. What appeared before me was impossible to put into words.

Some things were flowing, others were frozen in place. Some things rotated while others clumped together, unmoving.

It made no sense at all. But one thing was clear—everything was glowing blue. And beyond that was… Nothing.

I looked back at the goblins, completely bewildered.

Unlike the chaos around us, something inside the goblins was moving. Centered around a blue mass near their hearts, thin blue lines spread out, wriggling and creating what looked like blood vessels.

“What the—Ack!!”

Before I could even process what was happening, one of the goblins charged at me. Fuck! These damn uggos weren’t giving me any time to think. I reflexively swung my sword.

The sword I swung, purely out of instinct, wasn’t even aimed. Whether by sheer luck or some miracle, it just so happened to hit that flowing blue thing.

And then—

“Huh?”

The goblin vanished. Completely disappeared without a trace. I blinked, staring at the empty space where it had been.

“What? So that’s how it works?”

So you did give me something, after all. I knew it.

“Alright! Come at me, you bastards!!”

With newfound confidence, I yelled at the remaining goblins. They hesitated for a second, clearly unnerved by their comrade’s sudden disappearance, but soon enough, they charged at me.

And then I realized.

“Aaaagh!! It hurts! Why does it hurt when they’re holograms?!”

That miracles don’t happen twice.

***

----------------------  

Name: Lee Sunghoon  

Rank: F  

Note: To be honest, we are still confused about how you even got into our academy.  

For withdrawal inquiries, please contact 02-XXXX-XXXX or the Chairman's office.  

----------------------

“…Damn that god! That rotten son of a bitch! Aggghhhh!!!! Fuck!”

I crushed the paper in my hand, my body covered in bruises and wounds.

Now that I thought about it, I remember making it so that those holograms could hurt you using magic. 

Hahaha! Fuck… Karma’s a real piece of work, huh?

“Hey! You! Are you crazy?!”

Raphael, sitting beside me, shot me a glare, her face twisted in annoyance.

“How’s this the Lord’s fault, huh? Maybe if you didn’t sit around all day, you wouldn’t be in this mess. Do humans even live like that? More like livestock.”

“You—! Sigh… What’s your rank then?”

I snatched the paper from Raphael’s hand. 

Hmm, it was weirdly easy to take, tho…?

----------------------  

Name: Raphael  

Rank: A  

Note: Good enough to be active immediately, future growth is highly anticipated.  

----------------------

“Ah.”

I get it… 

I looked up at her in disbelief. She stood there, arms crossed, head held high, and nose far in the air. 

Haha! Her face is so punchable. I really want to punch it.

“You let me snatch this on purpose!”

“Oh? How could that be~? Even though I look like this, I’m an angel among angels, a top-tier seraph, personally serving the Lord, you know. Oh, and I’m not bragging—it’s just the way it is. Unlike someone who couldn’t hold a girl’s hand for twenty-five years, I’ve been blessed from birth~”

…Should I really punch her? My clenched fist twitched. 

Some people come here with nothing, while others are out here breaking the magic measuring devices—this sense of deprivation was crushing.

“What do you mean ‘nothing’? You got something, didn’t you? You even spun the roulette,” Raphael said, tapping her temple.

Right, I did spin something like a roulette.

“But it’s utterly useless. It’s like asking for a fork and getting a spoon. Can’t you see these bruises?”

I showed off my collection of colorful bruises, but Raphael barely reacted.

“Hmph, idiot! Don’t you know about sporks?”

Wha? What the fuck was she even yapping about?

Anyway, something definitely happened when I hit that visible flow thingy, but I didn’t have the ability to aim at it properly. Kek, I could barely lift a sword, let alone swing it where I wanted.

In other words, I got a completely useless ability. You know, those cheat skills like Gluttony or Greed that make weaklings OP in no time? Why couldn’t I get one of those?

At this rate, forget stopping Kim Taehyun—I wasn’t even sure I could make it through school. I was already crashing headfirst into the same wall of reality I knew from my old world.

“Didn’t you say you read a lot of web novels?”

“What again?”

“Hmph! Read this.”

Suddenly, a bright red book was shoved in my face. The title was ‘God’s Notebook’.

It looked about as appealing as a punch to the gut. But holding back the urge to gag, I cracked open the first page.

Instant regret.

[ Heya! This is God. First off, I sent you exactly as you were. Did you think you’d be possessing someone? Nope! It’s just a transmigration~ But hey, at least you got younger, right? ]

“...Can I tear this thing up?”

“What? Absolutely not!”

Ignoring Raphael’s frantic attempts to snatch the book back, I turned the page.

[ So, you got [Magic Eye] from the roulette. I’m sure you’ll figure out how it works on your own. Oh, yeah, I also threw in two more gifts as a bonus. You’re welcome~ ]

It sounded like good news, but since it was coming from that son of a bitch, I felt nothing but dread.

[ As for your magic power, well, you can get that yourself, right? I mean, it’s your novel, after all. Oh, and I didn’t touch your physical abilities either. You are feeling bitter right? Right? Ever heard of karma? ]

Riiip—

“W-What the hell are you doing?!”

“Ah. Sorry, I did it in the heat of the moment. Won’t happen again.”

This thing’s tougher than it looks, huh? Next time, I’ll rip it properly. 

Avoiding Raphael, who was now charging at me, I flipped to the next page.

[ Oh, and it’d be quite the amusing turn of events if you stopped Kim Taehyun too, right? So, give it a try. If it’s interesting, go for it. Struggle with all your might. Fighting~ ]

“EEEEEEKK!!! YOU!!”

Riiiiiiip.

With Raphael’s scream echoing through the room, God’s Notebook was torn in half, shredded by my pitiful strength.