Chapter 97
Epilogue (3)
On the way to Miyu-san's house, we bought disposable chopsticks and a tenugui towel.
Well, well. Thank goodness the hundred-yen shop happened to sell tenugui towels with a mame-shibori pattern. Honestly, I had thought, 'They probably won't have any, so I guess I'll use a regular towel,' but this was an unexpected stroke of luck.
We arrived in the living room and placed the props on the table, along with the juice and snacks we'd bought.
"So, there you have it. Please go ahead and perform the loach-scooping dance without worry, Riko-senpai."
"Tell me exactly what part of that involved 'so, there you have it.' Huh?"
"The colander is already in my workroom."
"Listen to me. Seriously, listen. I'm not doing it, okay? I'm really not!"
"But, Riko-senpai—"
I quietly turned my gaze toward Miyu-san.
"Hmm... As long as her private parts aren't visible, I suppose it's safe."
Her eyes gleamed as she stared at her smartphone.
"Isn't this better than an outfit prepared by someone who says things like that?"
"Ngh...!"
To be perfectly honest, this was also for my own protection.
To tell the truth, I didn't care about the loach-scooping dance. But having a coworker of the opposite sex show me an erotic outfit... well. I'd be happy about it, but things would become incredibly awkward afterward.
If you asked whether I wanted to see it, the answer was very much yes. However, it might interfere with our relationship going forward.
The previous outfit had already been burned into my brain. I'd even secretly printed out a picture of Miyu-san in cosplay and hidden it on my bookshelf.
The fact that I could still interact with her normally despite that was nothing short of a miracle.
"So, please? Let's compromise on the loach-scooping dance. If you really hate sticking disposable chopsticks up your nose, you could just paint the tip of your nose black with a brush. That's a reasonable line for a punishment game, isn't it?"
"Otaku-kun..."
"You don't want to do something embarrassing either, do you, Riko-senpai? It's not good for a woman to carelessly show her skin to someone she doesn't even like. I want you to persuade the other members too, Riko-senpai."
I used every facial muscle at my disposal to form a gentle smile.
In response, Riko-senpai gave a small nod, then—
"You bastard. You're thinking about what'll happen after you lose, aren't you?"
"...I hate perceptive fake gals like you."
Damn it, she saw right through me!
Why was Miyu-san so fixated on erotic cosplay? There was only one reason: she wanted to humiliate me if she won.
The 'Yahiro Kota' from her world and the 'Yahiro Kota' from this world were completely different people. She understood that.
But that was that, and this was this. To heal the wounds from her gacha disaster and pursue her twisted form of fandom, Miyu-san was trying to make me wear an outfit for the female version of 'Yahiro Kota' she'd created in the future...!
At this rate, I'd be forced into a slingshot swimsuit or a bunny-girl outfit!
"Our interests are supposed to align here, Riko-senpai...! You don't want to suffer that kind of humiliation either, do you!?"
"True. I have shame too. Before showing it to my future boyfriend or girlfriend, I'd hesitate to let you see my skin."
"Then—!"
"But no."
"What!?"
Damn, Riko-senpai had such gravitas that her entire art style seemed to change for an instant!
Was this how determined she was!?
I could practically hear a 'DODODODO' sound coming from her... Ah, no. Rosso-san was just making it with her mouth behind us. What was wrong with that chuunibyou twenty-something?
"I've already 'worn' that outfit. So now I can't turn back. I can't afford to turn back..."
"Are you really going to repeat your mistake out of sheer stubbornness!?"
"YES! YES! YES!"
"That's ridiculous! What meaning could there possibly be in something like that!?"
"There is meaning. Making you suffer the same humiliation... That alone will satisfy me...!"
"Y-you fake gal!"
"And who are you calling a fake gal, you bastard? I'll punch you with both hands."
Riko-senpai's two fists sandwiched my cheeks from either side.
She squished and moved them around, but it didn't hurt. If anything, the sensation of her slightly cool, smooth fingers made my heart skip a beat.
As usual, this woman had a remarkably casual sense of personal space.
"I feel the same way... I shall accompany you on this journey."
"Rosso-in..."
"That sounds terrible..."
"Let's go!"
With a swish, Riko-senpai and Rosso-san stood side by side.
These two had definitely read that manga yesterday. Maybe they'd watched the anime instead.
'Why are the two of them so fired up, gao?'
Tatsumin-san slowly approached us.
'I know Riko-chan has been recommending all sorts of works to Miyu-chan, gao. Knowing her, they're probably mostly tokusatsu, gao.'
"Well, that's true, but—"
'So the cosplay Miyu-chan prepared must be based on transforming heroes, gao. Embarrassing is embarrassing, but it shouldn't be that big a deal among friends, gao, right?'
"Actually, you see..."
While I hesitated over how to explain it—
With a soft pat, Miyu-san, who had approached us without my noticing, tapped Tatsumin-san on the shoulder.
"That's right. As long as it's within the same unit, it's merely entertainment."
'Y-yes, that's true, gao... Um, Miyu-chan. Your eyes look a little scary, gao.'
"I'm sorry. But right now, I am deeply moved."
'M-moved by what, gao?'
"The fact that you'll wear anything, and that you've agreed to have your picture taken. Let's take a picture together and frighten Kota-san."
'Is it something scary enough to frighten him, gao?'
"Wait. You knew I was afraid of my own future? And you went ahead with this anyway? How cruel are you?"
"Aspirations... Dreams... You don't have to abandon them. I learned that from the works Riko-senpai lent me!"
Oh, my. She had the eyes of a protagonist who had steeled herself. There was no stopping her now.
Despite shining like a light-element character, she was emitting a filthy radiance mixed with pink and black.
"Fake gal! Take responsibility and reeducate her, fake gal!"
"Who are you calling a fake gal, you idiot!? But I'm sorry! I couldn't do it!"
"Come... Let us complete 'Legendary Super Pervert 3' together!"
"There were stages!?"
I didn't want this to turn into 'Super Pervert' with something like 'God' or 'Blue' added to it later!
...For that matter, what the hell was a super pervert anyway!?
"I am prepared to shoulder any hardship for that purpose."
With a squeeze, Miyu-san clenched her fist. Her arm struck her enormous breasts, which squished and changed shape.
I see. So this was what a super pervert was.
Please go stare at yourself in the mirror and be satisfied. But please give me the pictures anyway.
Wait, no! Had I just lost to my instincts for a moment!? Hang in there, reason! Don't lose, morality! Prove that I'm human!
'Everyone's acting strange, gao... Come to think of it, every member of Alf is strange, gao. So it's fine, gao.'
"Master and I aren't strange, you know?"
"Grandma and I are the normal ones here, aren't we?"
"I am a dependable adult, standing alongside Master, am I not?"
"I am always calm."
'Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. If everyone thinks so, then I'm sure it's true, gao. Your minds are free, gao.'
"I don't want to hear that from someone who's always wearing a mascot suit."
'Shut up, fake gal. You're not a gal who's nice to otaku; you're an otaku girl, aren't you?'
"You said it!"
After tossing Riko-senpai, who had grabbed me by the collar and was shaking me, toward Rosso-san with one hand, Tatsumin-san stepped closer to me.
Then, to my surprise, Tatsumin-san removed the mascot head.
"Phew..."
"Huh?"
"I'm sorry for surprising you... Actually, I'm not the real Tatsumin today... I was the one inside..."
"No, that's always the case."
"Today, though! I came here instead of the real Tatsumin..."
"Oh. Okay."
If I denied it too strongly, I was liable to get punched.
So I decided to nod. In the corner of my vision, Rosso-san was carrying Riko-senpai, who was pretending to be unconscious, and shouting, 'Medic!'
Ah, Miyu-san hurried over and took up a position to perform chest compressions. If Riko-senpai hadn't dodged with all her strength, that might have been dangerous.
"I'm sorry... Are you disappointed...?"
"No. It's not like that."
I had never considered 'Tatsumin' and 'Ryugu-san' to be different people in the first place.
Ryugu-san gave me an embarrassed smile when she saw my conflicted expression.
"I'm glad... I want you to keep this for me..."
"Uh, sure."
She thrust Tatsumin's mascot head at me, and I reflexively accepted it.
"I don't know what kind of outfit I'll be wearing... but I probably won't be able to wear this..."
"Well, I suppose that's true."
"It's a mascot head, but... it's the official mascot head. So please think of it as the real Tatsumin... okay? I want you to keep it safe..."
For just a moment—only the briefest moment—my fingertips holding the mascot head—
I felt Ryugu-san's mascot-covered fingers brush against them.
"Don't... let go of it, okay...?"
Her upturned gaze made my heart skip a beat despite myself.
This woman was only troublesome because of her usual behavior. Her bare face was beautiful, which made things difficult.
"I-I understand. I'll keep it safe."
"Mm...! Thank you...!"
Embarrassed by Ryugu-san's shy smile, I looked away.
"Good grief! Look, Rosson! What an indecent woman! That's the face of someone aiming for an office romance within the clan!"
"W-what!? Is that really true!?"
"I-I'm not indecent... am I?"
"That's right. Don't get any strange ideas, self-proclaimed gal and self-proclaimed demon-world noble."
"I'm not self-proclaimed! I'm a peerless gal recognized as such by myself!"
"That is self-proclaimed."
"I-I see... U-um. I was only worried that Tatsumin-dono might be engaging in impure relations with a minor! As a ruler, I had to be concerned!"
"That's why you're self-proclaimed."
"More importantly, let's get changed. Kota-san, please wait here."
"...Can we really not cancel the punishment game?"
"No."
"Okay..."
The rejection was unusually firm. I had no chance of winning.
I sat down on the sofa in front of the television and placed the mascot head on my lap.
"Now then, Kota-san. Please wait a little while. If you happen to escape—"
"What, deserters get shot?"
"I will head to your house while still wearing my cosplay."
"She's planning to kill me socially...!?"
In a way, she was contemplating the most terrifying thing of all...!?
After declaring that with eyes that said she was dead serious, Miyu-san left the room with the others.
After seeing them off, I had nothing to do, so I absentmindedly stroked Tatsumin's mascot head.
This was a problem. I had actually intended to say I'd suddenly remembered an urgent appointment and escape before Miyu-san and the others returned... but because of what she'd said and the thing Ryugu-san had entrusted to me, I couldn't do that.
I let out a small sigh and moved the hand resting on the mascot head.
...This feels nicer to stroke than I expected.
While Ryugu-san had been inside it, I had been too embarrassed to touch it... but the surface was remarkably smooth.
I became so absorbed in stroking it that more time passed than I realized. Then I heard the door open with a click.
This was bad. I wasn't mentally prepared.
I reflexively started to turn around, then tried to bring my head back to face forward—
"Sorry to keep you waiting, Kota-san."
That became impossible.
Paradise. Surely this sight before me was what people called paradise.
"Thank you for waiting properly, Kota-san. I would also like to avoid being arrested by the police."
Miyu-san said this matter-of-factly, wearing her usual expressionless face.
Her outfit might have been based on a police uniform.
But if a real police officer saw her, wouldn't she be arrested immediately?
Her long black hair was tied in a low ponytail with a white ribbon at the nape of her neck. A hat resembling a police cap rested on her head.
From her shoulders to her wrists, her arms were covered by crisp navy-blue sleeves, while her fingers were covered by white gloves.
That was where the police-like elements ended.
Everything else was unmistakably a competition swimsuit.
Her breasts were packed tightly into the chest of the suit. The black-and-white competition swimsuit cried out under the pressure, with sideboob spilling out on either side. Even her cleavage was visible from above.
And then there was the absurdly outrageous angle of the crotch. If it shifted even slightly, wouldn't a maiden's private parts become visible?
Thin belts were wrapped around her plump, soft-looking thighs, with what appeared to be holsters attached to them.
Her glossy black boots emphasized her long legs, making the high-cut swimsuit seem even more revealing.
Wasn't this basically an exhibitionist outfit?
"I am an adult. I am an adult. B-being seen by a young oni is nothing to be ashamed of, n-nothing at all...!"
Rosso-san, her ears bright red and a stiff smile on her face, was muttering something.
Her outfit was probably based on a nun's habit.
This one was just as high-cut.
The only nun-like elements were the black veil on her head and the rosary hanging from her neck.
A black leotard with a white collar clung tightly to her body. The long-sleeved garment revealed the curves of her breasts and the line of her waist.
The cloth covering her crotch was nearly as daring as Miyu-san's. Rosso-san's unnaturally pale skin was tinged faintly red.
The absolute territory created by her thigh-high socks, which covered her legs from mid-thigh down, was dazzling. I couldn't help sensing a mysterious eroticism even in her calves, which formed supple yet soft-looking lines.
"Take a good look! This is what you will look like in the future!"
She was forcing herself to make a smug face, but Riko-senpai's cheek was twitching slightly. Naturally, her cheeks were red as well. It was hard to tell because of her dark skin, but even the tips of her elven ears were red.
Her outfit might have been similar to something I'd heard called a race queen's costume.
A tube top in blue and white pressed softly into the upper swell of her breasts, while the bottom ended only as low as her solar plexus.
Not only her delicate shoulders and slender collarbones, but also her dark-skinned cleavage and beautifully vertical navel were completely exposed. Long gloves covered her arms from mid-upper-arm down, emphasizing their graceful form.
Unlike the other two, she wasn't wearing a high-cut bottom.
Instead, she was wearing a low-cut one.
The swimsuit bottoms were blue on either side and white in the center. Most of her groin was exposed, with barely enough fabric left that making it even a centimeter narrower would turn it into a string.
The dark skin of her thighs was clearly visible between them and the blue long boots that covered three-quarters of her legs.
"Th-this... Um... D-does it look strange!?"
At the very back, Ryugu-san entered a little later, her face red enough to seem on fire.
That was understandable. She was wearing something resembling a pink sentai hero's outfit.
It showed the least skin of the four. The problem was how thin the fabric was.
The fabric clung tightly from her neck downward. Through its distinctive sheen, I could make out the shape of her navel.
Her left hand concealed the tips of her enormous breasts, which squished into a new shape. If she moved that hand, I might be able to make out the shape of their peaks.
As for the crotch hidden by her right hand... No. If I thought about this any further, my brain would completely collapse.
I gathered up all the reason I had left and turned my face toward the ceiling.
Hang in there, Yahiro Kota! I absolutely will not lose!
"What do you think, Kota-san?"
"...That's enough. You should probably get changed."
"Will you not give me your impressions?"
"...I'd like to reserve comment."
I had no impression beyond, 'She's lewd!' Damn it.
"However, these are clothes you will eventually wear, are they not?"
"I'm not wearing them, and I can't wear them."
"There are... very few impossibilities in this world!"
"Hey, Riko-senpai. Isn't this your fault after all...?"
"I genuinely feel sorry about this."
"I-Is it Riko-chan's fault...?"
"Yes. Most of this is Riko's fault, Dragon Maiden."
"No, I think half of it is Otaku-kun's fault."
"Don't shift the blame."
"S-so you... wanted this, Kota-kun...?"
"No. All I ever asked for was the loach-scooping dance."
"Why the loach-scooping dance, anyway...?"
"Because it's peaceful..."
"The loach-scooping dance isn't exactly a symbol of peace, Otaku-kun."
Even so... even so, the loach-scooping dance would surely save the world someday...!
What was I even saying? My brain was on the verge of overheating. I needed to cool down.
I hugged Tatsumin's mascot head tightly. Unfortunately, it didn't emit any cold air, but it did help conceal a certain phenomenon.
I can't go into specifics, but I'm sorry, Tatsumin-san.
"So, um. That's enough, right? Let's get changed..."
"No. Shall we hold a game tournament like this?"
"What?"
Miyu-san sat down beside me while I kept my face turned toward the ceiling.
She was close enough for our shoulders to nearly touch. I couldn't look at her, but the scent of soap tickling my nose made it clear that she was right beside me.
"W-wait, what?"
"Riko-senpai said something."
Even without looking, I could tell Miyu-san had snorted 'hmph' and that her eyes were sparkling.
"She said, 'If we play games in these outfits, won't Otaku-kun keep misplaying?'"
"That damn fake gal!"
"But I refuse to apologize. And I am not fake."
What treachery! Did she have no samurai pride!? Then again, there weren't any samurai here in the first place! Well, I suppose that settled it!
No, it didn't! Resist, you idiot! Ngh, this was bad. I was delirious!
"S-so that's how it is. Th-this is a strategy. A strategy, that's all. Surely you won't call it underhanded?"
Rosso-san sat down on my other side.
She was close too!
"U-um... Then I'll sit here..."
For some reason, Ryugu-san placed a cushion just slightly in front of my toes.
Then she lowered her rather large rear onto it.
"Um, excuse me."
"A-at this position... you can't see anything important... right?"
I reflexively looked toward her and met Ryugu-san's eyes as she twisted at the waist to look up at me.
At that instant, I thought I caught sight of her breast, freed from her hand, including the shape of its tip.
"That was close!"
"Kota-kun!?"
I reflexively uppercut myself in the chin with my right hand.
That had been close. A little more, and it might have been a fatal blow.
"A-are you okay...?"
"I'm fine, I'm fine. Otaku-kun gets like this all the time. It's business as usual."
Riko-senpai's voice came from behind me.
"Come on, Otaku-kun! This is where you die!"
"D-damn youuuuu!"
Miyu-san on my right. Rosso-san on my left. Ryugu-san in front of me. Riko-senpai behind me.
Beautiful women in outfits far too provocative, close enough to touch—or not touch.
In that situation, I—endured.
I closed my eyes and sharpened my senses. Not my five ordinary senses. I focused on my sixth sense.
It didn't matter if I couldn't see it, as long as I could perceive it. This Demon Eye saw what lay 'ahead.'
"W-what!? You dodged that!?"
"Good grief, is Otaku-kun a monster!? Turn, turn—ah!"
"Riko! Don't self-destruct on your own! Ah, damn!"
"Huh, huh? Why is this happening...? Eek, no!"
My heart was not unmoved—not really.
But my victory was unshakable.
Never underestimate the Demon Eye of precognition...!
Afterward, Miyu-san sent me a two-shot photo of herself and Ryugu-san.
I made it a family heirloom.