Chapter 3 - Irresponsible Childhood Friend

[Davian,

To be honest, I never thought I'd end up marrying you. You were just a comfortable childhood friend to me. Getting pregnant with your child and marrying like this was completely unexpected.

But none of this was what I wanted.

I thought of you as a comfortable childhood friend, but I never once thought of you romantically. You're certainly a good person, but I've never loved you, and I don't think I ever will. Having a child with you and living a married life is impossible for me.

Moreover, I'm not someone who can just stay still like this.

You probably won't understand, but there's something bigger and greater inside me. I need to go find it. If I stay by your side, raising a child and living an ordinary life, I'll end up broken.

So I have to leave to fulfill my dream.

I'm leaving the child with you.

The child is an obstacle in my life. Understand that this is an unavoidable choice to achieve my dream. So don't try to hold me back anymore.

I won't even say I'm sorry to you. Because I have the right to live my own life too. Marrying you and having a child weren't my choices. I couldn't muster the courage before, so it took time, but not anymore.

I'm going to live by my own choices. You live your life, and I'll go my own way. We won't see each other again.

Goodbye.

Kailyn]

Has she really gone mad?

I couldn't help but hold my forehead as I read the letter. She went on and on about dreams and whatnot, but the gist of the letter was simple:

I don't intend to take responsibility, so raise the child on your own.

That was the summary.

Even for the sake of a dream, how can she abandon her child?

Reading this letter, I felt genuinely angry. Did it make any sense to leave a child behind to pursue a dream? No matter how great the dream, I felt truly disappointed by her actions that showed no remorse or sense of responsibility towards the child left behind.

What was I thinking, having a child with someone like her...

This must be what they mean when they say, “People don't change.” A villainess was still a villainess. Then again, I shouldn't have expected much from someone who would antagonize the hero's party, humanity's champions, for the sake of her own dreams.

That mistake made in a drunken state was coming back to haunt me painfully.

"...What does it say?"

As I frowned at the letter for a while, the mage before me cautiously asked. She must have been curious about the contents, knowing something had happened between Kailyn and me.

"She telling me to raise the child alone."

There was no point in hiding it. I told her the truth.

"Hmm. I see."

Hearing this, she let out a small sigh. It was a reaction that suggested she had expected as much. Of course, bringing the baby like this, it wasn't hard to guess the situation. Anyone with a bit of sense could have figured it out.

"If I don't take the child, what did Kailyn say to do?"

I asked her one thing. If... just if I refused to take the child here, what would she do? Kailyn must have said something about that to her, so I was curious and asked.

Her answer made me deeply disappointed in Kailyn once again.

"She said to abandon it."

"..."

I hadn't expected it, but I didn't think she would go that far.

"...I see."

"I won't abandon it. I don't want to be a murderer, so I plan to return it to Kailyn."

Of course, she said she had no intention of doing such a thing and would return the child to Kailyn. But it wasn't a reassuring statement. Even if the baby went back to Kailyn, I knew no good future awaited it.

"Give me the child."

"Here you are."

It was a truly lamentable situation, but I couldn't cause any more trouble. I took the baby from Leshu's arms. It was a beautiful baby sleeping peacefully.

"Then, I'll be going."

With that, the mage who had handed me the baby left. I went into the house carrying the baby.

***

"..."

"Haa."

Looking at the soundly sleeping baby, I let out a sigh. I was in quite a predicament. There were many problems to deal with, and I had no idea how to handle any of them.

I had never had such a headache before.

How am I supposed to raise it?

First of all, I didn't know how to raise a child. Even though I was a reincarnator and this was my second life, this was truly an insurmountable problem. Above all, feeding the child was the biggest issue.

In a world without formula, I expected it would be extremely difficult for a father to raise a child alone, unlike a mother.

I don't have money to hire help either.

I thought I might be able to find someone to help somehow, but... that part was also problematic. I might be able to manage for now, but I didn't have the money to employ someone long-term.

It couldn't be helped. Even though Kailyn and I were nobles, we weren't from prominent noble families. I was just the son of a poor baron's family, and Kailyn's family, though counts, were on the verge of ruin.

Could I expect support from such families? Of course not. Even this house was barely acquired.

I couldn't hope for more than this. Besides, I shouldn't. Kailyn's family was quite problematic.

I should avoid getting involved with them as much as possible. So I had no one to turn to for help. I didn't have the means to hire someone.

And there will be problems in the future...

In this situation, there was another problem. It was safety.

Although it was a peaceful era now, it was just the calm before the storm. Soon, the Demon King would begin his activities in earnest. The Demon King, who had been living peacefully in the northern demon realm, would start a war, causing turmoil on the continent for a while.

The continent was expected to become quite chaotic. Bandits, magic beasts, and demons would run rampant in a triple threat. To survive in such chaos, one needed to have at least some strength.

In that regard, I had somewhat relied on Kailyn. She had considerable talent in magic, so I thought that even without training at the magic tower, she wouldn't die helplessly somewhere. I thought I could support her using my knowledge as a reincarnator.

But now Kailyn was gone. It was a very difficult situation. Of course, if there was no child, it wouldn't matter even without Kailyn.

If it was just me, I could have managed somehow. But there was a child, right? No matter how I thought about it, I didn't have confidence in surviving with a child.

This is maddening.

So it really felt like I was backed into a corner. 

What should I do now? 

At that moment of deep contemplation, a bad thought briefly crossed my mind.

Should I just abandon the child and run away? 

Such a terribly wicked thought.

I absolutely can't abandon it.

Of course, that thought was only momentary. No matter how I thought about it, I couldn't abandon the child. I didn't want to do something like Kailyn did.

After all, what sin had the child committed? I had no intention of leaving without taking parental responsibility. So I had to make a choice now.

I guess... there's no other way?

There was one method available. A way to gain both power and wealth. But it was a method I had absolutely refused to use until now. A method only I could use.

I'll have to interfere with the story.

It was to interfere with the story. The protagonist's story, the hero party's story, and even the magic tower's story where Kailyn was. If I just intervened recklessly and looked out for my own interests, wouldn't things work out somehow?

Surely I could obtain enough money to raise the child and enough strength to protect myself from threats.

I didn't want to do this.

Of course, it was a method I didn't want to use. Knowing how this world would unfold was my biggest advantage, and if I interfered carelessly, I might lose that advantage. Also, as someone who sought to live an ordinary life, I didn't want to step forward unnecessarily.

"So much for living an ordinary life."

But what else could I do? With a child to care for, I no longer had the luxury of being picky about my methods.