Chapter 12
At the rough-sketch stage of the illustration, I had to agonize over countless things.
How could I capture both arousal and fun with these tags that had gone completely off the rails?
How could I draw it while minimizing the backlash from my roughly seventeen viewers?
As I thought about it, I realized the truth.
Whatever else happened, as long as one side was insanely arousing, it would all work out.
Rather than half-assedly ruining both, I should ruin one and save the other.
So I decided.
I would put all the tags that were arousing individually but created a disgusting image when combined on one side.
Then I would gather the remaining tags that worked fine together on the other side and make them arousing.
Honestly, I wanted to try combining [Loli] and [Egg-laying], but no matter how I tried to cover for it, it would obviously violate the child-protection law, so I gave up on it immediately.
Loli + pregnancy + egg-laying was Out no matter how I looked at it.
Having a loli be the top was at least acceptable, but it was obvious that making her the bottom would cause problems.
Once I had decided, I designated the standard costume for loli characters—a 'school swimsuit'—and began working.
The scene was a sadistic, femdom, tentacle-using, futanari, big-breasted loli in a school swimsuit corrupting a furry woman through extreme pleasure, stealing her away from a man, and ultimately making her lay eggs.
As I drew this picture that made me feel like my sanity was about to leave me, I watched the viewers' reactions—and for some reason, they were strange.
<...No, fuck, why is that turning me on?>
<Hnnng... Big sis... My tastes are getting weird... I feel like I'm going to grow a uterus I never had;;;>
<The art style is insanely arousing, so why the fuck are you drawing something like that? It's weirdly hot...>
<Sorry, Mom... I think I'm going to the police station... I'll serve ten years and come back... I really will...>
<I'm fucked I'm fucked I'm fucked I'm fucked I'm fucked I'm fucked I'm fucked I'm fucked!!!>
<But if you draw it like this, you'll get banned soon, right? Who the fuck draws this kind of shit while walking such a fine line?>
Crazy perverted bastards.
You're supposed to get turned on by the furry, so why the fuck are you getting so horny over that deranged loli?
"You guys are seriously a bunch of fucking perverts. Please don't tell anyone you watch my stream. If someone overhears, they'll think this place is a mental hospital."
<Streamer? This really is a mental hospital, isn't it?>
<Wasn't it already a mental hospital? How could this not be one when you're drawing something that hot? LOL>
<They say you can recognize a promising tree from its first leaves, and you're definitely different from the start.>
<This really is birds of a feather flocking together LOL A vulgar streamer and vulgar viewers... Hnnng...>
<Give it up. We already posted everything you're drawing and the stream's content on the community LOL>
No, you crazy bastards, anyone can see this is a disgusting image.
What are you doing, throwing a disgusting image onto a clean community site where everyone can see it?
"...My stream's reputation is completely fucked from day one. Seriously."
As I listlessly colored the insane image, around ten more viewers came in.
<I heard the rumors and came here. Is this the mental hospital?>
<I'm very interested in the teacher's abnormal sexual tastes, too.>
<There's nothing here but hot stuff;; The drawing is hot, and the streamer's boobies are hot too.>
<I want to suckle those titties greedily, slurp slurp LOL>
<The breasts on camera should be more distracting, but the drawing is such an eye-catcher I can't even see them, fuck LOL>
...Unfortunately, every single new arrival was another perverted bastard.
Why are all my viewers perverted bastards?
In reality and in fiction, most small-time streamers had viewers who stayed within the bounds of decency and behaved themselves, so why were my viewers...
<No, fuck, why is the loli turning me on!!!>
<Furry tail, hngh, furry tail, hngh, furry tail, hngh>
<Step on me too!!! I feel like I've grown a uterus that wasn't there!!!>
<A furry gradually falling into female submission while undergoing SM play with a femdom loli? I can't possibly resist this!>
<Since we're doing this anyway, add [Gender Bender] and take out that man too! If everyone's happy, it's true love, right?!>
<I want to bury my nose between the streamer's breasts and sniff sniff LOL>
<Pardon me... but I seem to have gotten an erection?>
They're insane.
And not just a little.
I stopped drawing for a moment and stared at the chat with an exasperated look, whereupon the Fox Deity shook her head and said,
- Do not think so poorly of them. Was this not all your intention?
"...Mine?"
- Yes. Wasn't it all because you intended it that way—the vulgar picture you drew and your choice to associate with these vulgar people?
The Fox Deity continued speaking with a brighter smile than ever.
- Well, they may be vulgar, but this method seems fairly effective in its own way. There are only about twenty-seven of them, yet each individual is spewing nearly ten people's worth of vital essence.
It was true. Even though drawing that unbelievably vulgar picture had worn down my mind, the vitality I felt in my body was greater than before I started streaming.
But.
"If I keep doing streams like this, my mind's going to leave my body first."
Mental erosion was a separate issue.
Each individual is spewing nearly ten people's worth of vital essence?
Of course. Each one is mentally raping me as thoroughly as ten people would.
If the malicious viewers on other streams felt like weak Americano coffee, the malicious viewers on mine felt like strong espresso.
I might be able to handle one or two of them, but every viewer on my stream was malicious, so the longer I continued, the more exhausted my mind became.
"For now, I should finish the picture I'm drawing and end the stream. The six-tag, insane school-swimsuit futanari loli is almost done, and the corrupting furry should be quick to finish with a visual reference right in front of me."
- ...Are you saying you are going to use me as the model for that vulgar picture?
"Is there any reason I shouldn't? If you turned me into this dogshit body and didn't give me any benefits, the least you can do is make me someone else's masturbation material, fuck."
When I looked at her with murderous eyes, she lowered her head and quietly nodded.
- Y-Yes, but please draw me a little less vulgarly! Not those rolled-back eyes you draw so often—at least give me eyes that still have focus!
"Don't worry. I'll take care of everything."
I was going to make that a variation anyway.
A scene where she was driven mad with pleasure and made an ahegao face, and a scene where she was impaled and wore a tearful expression because she resented her helplessness.
Having decided in my heart to use a cheat code, I turned the microphone back on and gripped my pen.
<What the hell? Why is there still no progress???>
<Did you give up? Honestly, I wouldn't blame you LOL This is a respectable defeat LOL>
<You lost, but you came and shot well? Hnnng...>
<Honestly, the next picture is so extreme you look like you'll get banned just for drawing the under-sketch LOL Keep it up LOL>
<Could it be that even the staff are watching because they're so excited? They're waiting until you finish it before cutting you off.>
<Possible.>
Could they have taken my drawing only the school-swimsuit futanari tentacle loli as a sign that I had given up?
That would make sense. The next thing I was going to draw, [Furry][Egg-laying], definitely required me to draw it prepared for a suspension.
Arousal was a separate matter.
The [Furry] tag might be all right, but if I mishandled the [Egg-laying] tag, I would definitely get suspended.
Just drawing a futanari tentacle loli already felt like I had received two yellow cards.
If I drew a furry fox laying eggs, wouldn't I definitely get suspended?
"If you're asking whether I'm scared, then of course I fucking am. One wrong move and I'll get suspended. But... I don't want to give up after coming this far."
If all I did was draw fucked-up things and couldn't draw what I wanted to draw, there would be no point in being an illustrator.
I had started drawing images in the first place to make fox-beastfolk porn for my own satisfaction, not to draw for other people.
I might have given up if it were another character, but what I was going to draw next was the very embodiment of arousal—a furry based on the Fox Deity.
It was an incredible scene of her being thoroughly ravaged by tentacles containing the very essence of arousal.
And I was supposed to give up on this insanely arousing scene?
Absolutely not.
Rather than give up drawing what I wanted, it would be far better to end my life as an illustrator.
"Even if I get suspended, I'll draw it. A furry making an ahegao face after being thoroughly ravaged by tentacles! And the furry woman's boyfriend masturbating in defeat as he watches!"
When I declared this confidently in front of the viewers, one of them sent a small donation, perhaps to cheer me on.
{Wake Up, Crazy Bitch's 3,000 won donation!}
[Why the fuck are you so serious about a picture like this? I have to ask, fuck.]
In response to his straightforward question, I answered in an upbeat voice.
"I have to take it seriously. That's what a promise means."