Chapter 19
The morning after I brought my stream to a triumphant close after receiving the princely sum of 270,000 won.
The smooth arm I saw as soon as I opened my eyes made me sigh in relief.
"I've turned back into Mimi."
I had gone from being a furry—a state where being horny could be called a mental illness—to being Mimi, a state where I could proudly admit that I was horny.
Could being a furry all day yesterday have been a dream?
Just in case, I cautiously turned on my stream, but when a broadcast-ban warning appeared before my eyes, I tossed my phone onto the blankets.
"...Defeated again."
I lost.
I had been confident that I was walking the tightrope well, but when I drew a shrine maiden outfit soaked with water, I couldn't resist adding pink, and ended up getting banned from broadcasting.
"This is why sharp-eyed people are no good... No, isn't this the fault of lewd administrators who mistook the pink around her breasts for nipples?"
Honestly, I did draw it on purpose.
The shrine maiden's outfit was drenched in tentacle slime, so it would have been absurd not to add some bright pink nipples to make it subtly lewd.
Not drawing them would be a sin against the person who commissioned the picture, a sin against myself for failing to draw them, and even a sin against the tentacles that had slathered on all that slime to make an already arousing fox shrine maiden even more arousing.
...I don't get it.
Why is drawing something arousing a crime?
After all, sexual desire is one of the three basic human urges, isn't it?
Why would satisfying one of the three basic urges be grounds for a suspension? Besides, you enjoyed it too, administrator, didn't you?
"...They watch everything there is to see, then hit me with the ban hammer without mercy."
It was unbelievably infuriating.
It was a perfect tentacle piece I had drawn with such dedication...
How hard I had worked to make everyone who saw this tentacle piece get horny...!
"Fine, now that it's come to this, I'll play right on the loopholes in the actual rules. Brace yourself, administrator. Things won't be easy starting six days from now."
Two mistakes are enough.
Now that I knew exactly how the rules worked, all I had to do was happily play along that flimsy tightrope until the administrator's guts twisted in frustration.
"A stream where the viewers are satisfied, the administrator is satisfied, and I'm the only one who's dissatisfied."
It was a shame.
But what could I do?
If I went to another platform, I could never attract this much attention just by drawing like this.
Had I been briefly venting my complaints about the other streaming platforms?
A loud Bang! Bang! came from the kitchen—the sound of someone roughly chopping something with a knife—so I quietly pulled out the frying pan I had hidden under my bed to subdue the intruder who had broken into my house.
Having become a celestial fox thanks to the Fox Deity's curse-like blessing, all my senses had grown as sensitive as an animal's—and someone had entered my house and started cooking without me noticing?
There was no way they were an ordinary person.
Either another yōkai had come to my house to play a prank, just as my bald friend Hyeokjin had said, or...
"An exorcist came to subjugate me, a gumiho."
With an unusual seriousness, I completely erased my presence and approached the intruder cooking in the kitchen, then quickly swung the frying pan before she could turn around.
But.
Clang!!!
A pink, pink tentacle that had appeared from nowhere easily blocked my decisive strike, and the intruder turned toward me with a bright smile.
"Oh my, when did you wake up? I didn't even realize you'd gotten up."
"And who exactly are you, cooking such delicious doenjang soup in my house? This is fucking trespassing, ma'am."
"I'm not a ma'am! I'm twenty-three, with my whole future ahead of me!"
"You have to lie within reason for me to even pretend to believe you, ma'am. How could that old-lady face possibly be twenty-three?"
Tacky, heavy makeup that made it impossible to believe she was in her twenties.
An awkward hairstyle distinctive of shamans, unlike the beautiful styles of other women.
Looking at a woman claiming to be in her twenties despite that horrific appearance, I sincerely voiced my concern for her.
"Let's start by wiping off that shitty makeup. That heavy makeup makes you look thirty years older."
"...Is it really that bad?"
"Why say it twice? I said it because you really do look old. Even this body can't pull off that makeup and hairstyle."
No, wait, was that not right?
If a beautiful fox beastfolk like me—or the Fox Deity—were to work as a shaman in that kind of getup...
'Begone, evil spirit!'
'Why, why isn't my exorcism working? Wh-why???'
'No, no! The evil spirit is entering my bodyyy♡ Don't come inside meee! I-I don't want iiiit!!!'
'Haaah?! Haaah!!! Your ghost techniques are fucking incredibleee♡ C-come heeereee♡'
Yeah, even just imagining it had already made wetness start leaking down below.
It wasn't the shaman hairstyle or makeup's fault.
The problem was simply the original face.
If that face had fluffy fox ears and a tail attached, then just imagining it would have been enough to give several people their happy time.
As I stared at the shaman in front of me with a slack-jawed grin, the shaman smiled brightly back at me.
"You seem to be having some rather disrespectful thoughts."
"It's just your imagination. Surely not?"
"Right? Even a lewd meme artist like you couldn't possibly have those sorts of thoughts with a person right in front of you... Hehe."
The shaman closed her eyes and let out a sinister laugh, so I swung the frying pan I was still holding once more, but a tentacle from somewhere wrapped tightly around my arm.
"Huh? Fuck?"
"Ahem, watch your language."
"Would you say something nice in this situation? Pink, slime-covered tentacles are just about to dog-fuck a fox in heat, and you expect me to use nice words?"
My body was already sensitive as hell, and heat had piled on top of that, leaving my whole body practically a weak point.
If I were touched even slightly wrong, I'd start drooling and end up feeling pleasure.
And in that situation, a slime-covered tentacle had grabbed my arm? This was...
I was getting fucked. A hundred percent—no, a two-hundred-percent chance I was getting fucked.
...Fuck, my first time was going to be with a tentacle, not even a person?
Absolutely not.
I'd rather do it with that bald bastard than give my first time to a grotesque tentacle like that, even if I had to die.
I gritted my teeth hard to endure the tingling pleasure in my arm.
"...Could you let go of this arm? It's a little inconvenient being held like this."
"Sorry, but I don't think I can do that. If I let you go, you're going to swing that frying pan at me."
"Wouldn't that be obvious? If someone you aren't even close to broke into your house and was cooking delicious doenjang stew, wouldn't everyone try to smash their skull first?"
A strange person had strolled into my house like she owned the place and was cooking doenjang stew for me.
What would you do?
1) Since she's a woman, declare a sex battle.
2) Since she's suspicious, report her first.
3) Smash her skull first; think later.
Who in the world would choose anything but number 3?
For one thing, if I declared a sex battle and got it wrong, there was a very high chance I'd be the one getting dominated instead.
My body was already showing rock-bottom defense because of the heat.
Whether I faced a man or a woman, there was a good chance I'd be called 'pathetic' and suffer 'defeat.'
So option 1 was out. I had to move on to option 2, but...
Would someone who had illegally broken into my house really let the homeowner call the police?
If things went wrong, I'd lose the delicious doenjang stew and have to eat prison rice instead.
They'd obstruct my attempts to contact the police or 119 by any means necessary.
Even if that meant resorting to something bordering on 18+ content.
That left only one option.
First strike, guaranteed victory.
I would smash her skull first as soon as I saw her.
"If you were me, you'd have smashed her skull first too, right? You'd smash it, and if she wasn't dead, tie her up and call the police. You'd say, 'A crazy bitch who was swinging tentacles broke into my house and is cooking doenjang stew!'"
"That makes sense. Thinking about it again, you're right. But..."
The smiling shaman dropped something that looked like a seed onto the floor, and soon tremendous tentacles burst up from beneath the floor and began preparing to ravage my body.
"If you failed to smash someone else's skull, wouldn't there naturally be a penalty?"
"...And that penalty is getting grabbed by tentacles and subjected to erotic things?"
"Of course! If you failed while trying to smash the head of a tentacle summoner, isn't it 'common sense' that you'd end up starring in an insanely horny tentacle video yourself? That's how most 18+ tentacle manga proceed, you know?"
"I'll grant that it's common sense, but my mind is still male, you know? And..."
I readjusted my grip on the frying pan with my other hand and brought it down with all my strength against the tentacle restraining my arm.
Bam!!!
"I'm the type who wants to watch a fox beastfolk get subjected to erotic things by tentacles, not the type who wants to experience it myself, okay? So get rid of those shitty tentacles, now."
I told the shaman—who hardly even looked like a shaman—in an irritated voice, but she instead started hopping in place, wearing an expression of pure bliss.
"Haa... haa... You know how there's that thing where a TS'd gumiho woman gets subjected to erotic acts by tentacles and eventually admits she's a female...? I think that's more arousing than any other situation."
I take that back.
That's just a face possessed by madness.
It's simply the face of a crazy bitch obsessed with TS and tentacles themselves!!!