Chapter 33
Is this what it feels like when someone discovers a hobby you absolutely shouldn't let anyone know about?
The shame makes me want to jump out the window right now.
Fuck.
I never should have restored the VOD.
Why did I go out of my way to restore something that should never have been restored, creating this catastrophe?
I showered my past self, who had boldly demanded the VOD from the streaming site, with every curse I knew, then cautiously approached Noona, who was staring at me with contempt.
"Noona."
"Don't talk to me, you fucking pervert."
"No, I told you, I'm not a pervert. It was all for the customers' needs..."
"That's what people usually call rationalization, you fucking psychopath. If you weren't a pervert, you would've flat-out refused, wouldn't you?"
Noona fought dirty, bringing nothing but facts to the table and dissecting my argument point by point.
"If you really weren't a fucking pervert, you should've used that deviant sexual stuff only during your first stream and stopped there, right? But you drew it in the next stream, and the one after that. Even your latest stream is nothing but deviant porn images. In what world are you not a pervert?"
"I drew plenty of normal stuff too, you know? Like a fox beastfolk being trained into loving submission by a bald Black man with a massive cock, or a fox beastfolk being imprisoned and loved by a yandere lesbian..."
"You crazy bitch! That's not normal sexual desire! Pure love should end at pure love—what are 'training love' and 'imprisonment love' supposed to be? And do you really think yuri is normal sexual desire?"
In response to my older sister's furious tirade, I countered in a serious, calm voice.
"Noona, think about it. Even one incredibly hot fox beastfolk would be a mountain of material for happy time, but two incredibly hot fox beastfolk? Wouldn't simple math make the arousal twice as strong?"
"...You do go on at length when spouting bullshit, my adorable little brother."
"I am pretty cute."
"Yeah, cute enough to make me want to bite you to death. You fucking bitch!!!"
SMACK!!!
Noona brought the edge of her hand down on the crown of my head and said,
"Are you going to keep this up? Are you going to keep living this vulgar life, grinning as you accept money from complete strangers who sexually harass you as they pay you?!"
"There's no choice but to keep doing it if I want to survive, Noona. Do you think I'm doing it because I want to?"
"If you don't want to do it, then don't! Why force yourself to do something you hate?"
At Noona's angry voice, born of sheer frustration, I answered in a calmer voice than ever.
"Because that's how I can stay alive."
"...What?"
"I need to stream to stay alive. If I don't stream, I'm on borrowed time. This body may look fine on the outside, but it's completely ruined right now."
This time, the black fox must have done something for me, because vital essence and demonic power are overflowing from my body, and I've managed to buy myself another three years.
But if I want to live longer and see even more insanely lewd 18+ fox beastfolk manga, I have no choice but to keep streaming, even if I have to force myself.
And even if I managed to gather a million people's worth of vital essence and became able to go outside, just as the Fox Deity said...
Even if I could hide my fluffy ears and soft, luxuriant tail, I'm fundamentally a shut-in.
I'm afraid of other people's eyes, and as the ultimate loner, I even hate making eye contact with anyone I'm not close to.
If I want to communicate with people at all, my only option is to stream online, where I don't have to feel their direct gaze.
Of course, if I gathered a million people's worth of vital essence and completely escaped my terminal condition, I could quit streaming and go back to making money by accepting commissions as I used to...
Or I could create insanely lewd fox beastfolk porn myself and use it solely for happy time.
I must have been tickling Noona with my tail while she fell silent at the words 'terminal condition.'
Noona came over, stroked my head, and said wistfully,
"Sigh, you idiot. That's why I told you to stop jerking off. It'll make your bones rot."
"No, the problem isn't my bones rotting. My sex changed—and into a form close to my ideal type, at that!"
"I told you it happened because you jerked off three times a day! It's all your own fault, you fucking pervert!"
"Then can you look at insanely lewd manga and hold back? Once you get hard, the unwritten rule is to jerk one out!"
"You crazy bitch! Just because you've become a woman, you really have no filter around your sister, do you? Are you actually trying to get killed?"
Murderous eyes and a stance that looked ready to attack at any moment.
My fox beastfolk instincts were telling me...
If I kept provoking her, I'd be taking the express route to the afterlife.
But a younger sibling must say everything that needs saying, no matter how much an older brother or sister oppresses them.
I approached Noona with an utterly serious expression and whispered in a voice like rolling jade beads,
"I'm horny. What am I supposed to do? Then don't you masturbate after looking at lewd manga?"
...I got beaten like a dog on a dog day.
-----
"Make sure you eat properly, and call me if anything difficult happens. I'll come by often, so don't change the passcode. Or you'll really get yourself killed."
"If you come by more than three times a week, I'll move. Do you have enough money for that?"
"I have people who can track you down, so if you move and I have to find you, you'll really be dead. Got it?"
"Even if I die, I'll die crying out for freedom. I'm a citizen of a free democratic country."
With all the insane beings already barging into my peaceful daily life and turning it upside down, would Noona joining them be the true beginning of the disaster?
When I stared at Noona, who was determined to meddle in my life somehow, with a face like I'd bitten into something rotten, she sighed and raised both hands.
"You've got me there, you little shit. Oh, what are you going to tell Mom and Dad? It seems you have less than a week left to keep stalling them with texts or KakaoTalk."
"It'll work out somehow. For now, buy me some time, Noona. I still haven't mentally prepared myself."
"What is there to prepare for? Just blurt it out like you did today. I'll explain the situation to our parents, so contact them within a week. They've been waiting with bated breath for you to call."
"I'll see how things go. I'll contact them as soon as possible, so don't worry too much."
After Noona reminded me yet again to contact our parents, she left my apartment, and I ordered my bald friend, who was still there, to leave as well.
"Hey, you get out too. I'm going to stream now."
"Would it really matter if I stayed? Who knows what might happen during the stream."
"I think you'd cause more problems by being here. What would people think if they saw you and me together?"
"Wouldn't they just think we're a normal boyfriend and fuck buddy? What's the problem?"
"The amount of vital essence coming in changes when there's a man around. They get turned on looking at me, but if a bald, muscular gay guy is sitting beside me, wouldn't they go limp immediately?"
When I gave him a reasonable explanation, he nodded and gathered the belongings he'd brought.
"Makes sense. Then call me if anything dangerous happens. Don't go getting cocky and losing your virginity."
"I have no intention of ever losing my virginity, so don't worry."
"You know that's a flag, right? I'm fucking excited that you seem destined to become a bitch who knows nothing but mating."
"Cut the crap. Take care on your way home, you bald bastard. I won't walk you out."
"Yeah, take care."
Once all the unwelcome guests had left, I quietly summoned the Fox Deity.
"I wanted to ask you something."
- What are you curious about?"
"Ever since that fox lady came by, my vital essence suddenly shot way up, right? Can you tell me what happened?"
Ever since the fox lady visited, my body—which had always creaked and complained of fatigue—no longer felt tired at all, even when I moved vigorously.
My stamina also seemed to recover faster, and overall, my body felt full of vitality.
Since meeting my bald friend, I hadn't felt myself getting healthier even once, so it couldn't have been his ability.
Didn't that mean the fox lady had done something to my body?
I asked the Fox Deity in a worried voice, and she cackled before answering.
- Do not worry so much. I handled everything myself. You need only enjoy the feeling of being healthier.
"I'm still curious, though. Tell me what you did to make my body healthy."
- I merely snatched a huge amount of the vital essence she had accumulated. With more vital essence, my body's deterioration slowed, making me feel relatively healthy.
The Fox Deity answered calmly, then pointed at the monitor and continued.
- Thou needst think of nothing else. Just think about how to extract more vital essence. I shall handle everything else.
"That's hard to believe. After all the idiotic things you've done, why should I trust you?"
- Thou must place complete trust in me.
"I'd sooner entrust a cat with fish than trust you. Even if heaven and earth split in two, I still wouldn't trust you."
Trust the bitch who took away my precious baby maker and turned my life into hard mode?
What a fucking joke.
Even if that bitch offered me an astronomical fortune and asked me to believe her, I'd never trust her.
I couldn't even trust her blindly; everything that bitch had done so far was simply too spectacular.
I must have been staring at the Fox Deity's inexplicable smile for a while when...
The doorbell rang, and I heard the deliveryman set down my package and leave.
Finally, the essential item for my next stream had arrived.
I used my fox's incredible hearing to confirm there was no one around, then opened the door, reached out with only my arm, and pulled the package inside.
The moment the package entered the apartment, the Fox Deity showed interest.
She looked the package over from every angle, then opened her mouth, apparently fascinated.
- What is this now? Judging from the packaging, it appears to be clothing.
"It is clothing. But it's something I can never wear outside—or even at home under normal circumstances."
- So it is some indecent clothing. Then why didst thou purchase this cumbersome garment? Art thou preparing some sort of ritual?
In response to her question, I grinned and told her what the outfit was for.
"The next stream's concept is an insanely hot fox nun who hears confessions."