Chapter 4
<I need some quick cash>
<500,000 won? I need around 1,000,000 won at most... You don't have that much, do you?>
<Fuck... I'm really sorry. Something urgent came up. If I can't get it, I might actually die.>
Strange.
A KakaoTalk message had suddenly arrived from someone who normally never contacted me.
He said he needed around 1,000,000 won in emergency cash.
Had he gotten himself into some kind of trouble?
But this bastard was a shut-in loner who never left the house, so there wasn't even anything he could do to get into trouble.
"...Is this a voice-phishing scam? No, his way of talking is too much like that bastard's for it to be one. It's weird, though. He's not the kind of guy to make impulse purchases except for manga, so he shouldn't be the sort of guy who needs emergency cash."
I pondered.
Should I lend him money or not?
Despite being a friendless shut-in loner, he was meticulous about money, so I was pretty sure he'd pay me back if I lent it to him... but why did I feel so uneasy this time?
After mulling it over, I decided to check the situation he was in myself first, then lend him the money.
If he was involved in anything dangerous, I would have to tell his parents immediately.
<I'll lend it to you, but I'm coming to your place the day after tomorrow. I need to know what you're spending the 500,000 won on.>
<Fuck off. I won't be home even if you come tomorrow.>
<Don't bullshit me. A guy who gets exhausted after moving for ten minutes is going out? Even a passing dog would laugh.>
The day after I sent him that dismissive KakaoTalk message,
I went to his studio apartment as soon as I finished my day's work.
"Do I really have to come twice a month? Cleaning up the trash every time I come is getting a little burdensome."
It's not like I'm a janitor.
It's ridiculous that I clean up his trash for the sake of his health every time I go over.
"If he hasn't taken it out today, I'm not lending him any money. It's too much money to lend to a bastard who won't put in even the minimum effort."
I stood in front of the door and pressed the doorbell.
Normally, I should have heard an annoyed response, but strangely, there wasn't a sound.
"...This bastard didn't actually leave home, did he?"
No, there was no way that shut-in loner bastard had the initiative for something like that.
He probably gave up and turned back after five minutes of walking because he was so out of shape.
Then that meant he was taking a nap until this late in the day.
"He's seriously fucking lazy. Some of us get up before dawn and work like ants."
A useless bastard who lived off his parents.
If he pissed me off while talking today, I was just going to punch him in the face.
Having made up my mind, I entered the password and stepped inside, where pitch-black darkness greeted me.
"...Fuck, it reeks. Is this some kind of raccoon den? It smells rotten."
"Well, it's not a raccoon den... but it does seem to be a fox den."
"What?"
Startled by an unfamiliar voice coming from beside me, I whipped around, but it was already too late: a frying pan was hurtling toward me fast enough to split my skull.
"My fucking life."
Clang!
With a clear clang, a dizzying pain began to rise from the crown of my head, and a few seconds later, when the pain reached its peak, I finally lost consciousness, unable to bear it.
-----
My friend, whom I had struck squarely with the frying pan, collapsed to the floor as if knocked unconscious.
He fell so limply that I wondered if I had killed him, but thankfully he was still breathing, so I tied him to the bed and sighed in relief.
"I harbor no ill will toward you, my friend. Forgive me for making this choice."
- To strike first and then beg forgiveness from the very person who cannot even hear you—there is no madwoman quite like you. Yet why did you knock him unconscious when this could have been settled with words?
"Because the moment he saw me like this, he would only have two options."
- Two options? What in the world are they?
"Either fuck me like a dog or run away like a dog. If he'd come in drunk, the former would be highly likely; if he were sober as usual, the latter would be more likely."
When I answered without hesitation, the Fox Deity stared at me stupidly and asked,
- They say like attracts like, and I see vulgarity really is something else.
"Don't talk crazy. Unlike that animal-fucking pervert, I'm someone with discerning taste and normal sexual desires."
- That is the best joke I have heard yet. Is this what you would call "bullshit"?
"Bullshit, my ass. You saw that requester call me someone who knows what's hot yesterday."
- ...No matter how I looked at it, it seemed like two identical bastards consoling each other.
The Fox Deity gazed at me pityingly, then looked at my friend lying on the bed and said,
- They seem very close.
"He's more of a pain in the ass than a close friend. We've been friends for nineteen years, so we know each other far too well."
- Hehe... Then is that not a fine relationship? It might not be a bad idea to draw vital essence from your friend instead...
"Don't be fucking ridiculous. I'm not gay, so why would I draw vital essence from that bastard? Who the hell would be crazy enough to choose both kissing a childhood friend's lips and kissing that friend's balls?"
- In my eyes, you are already more than sufficiently insane. Since you are already mad, what harm is there in doing something even crazier?
Watching her try to persuade me by any means necessary, I fetched a kitchen knife and held it to my wrist as I said,
"Keep talking. If I slit my wrist and kill myself like this, we both disappear, right?"
- I am sorry... Everything is my fault.
"No, you did nothing wrong. I just want to die."
To begin with, it doesn't make sense for a man to draw vital essence from another man, does it?
At least if I killed myself now, I wouldn't have to feel any mental anguish.
Wow, even I have to admit, that was a genius idea.
- Calm yourself. You seem far too agitated right now.
"I'm perfectly calm right now. I've lost everything precious to me in just two days; would you want to keep living if you were me?"
- By precious things, you mean your reproductive organ, surely. Is mating truly that important?
"Do you think I'm saying all this over something as trivial as a reproductive organ?"
I glared at the Fox Deity, took the ID card from the wallet on the desk, and held it out to her.
"Here, this is a means of proving my identity, right? But I've changed this much. So can I prove my identity now, or can't I?"
- ...I don't think you can.
"Right. I can't prove my identity. And all the human relationships I've built will come crashing down. You asked why I hit my nineteen-year friend over the head a moment ago, didn't you? If I hadn't hit him, the police would have hauled me away for breaking and entering. The owner of this house is the body I used to have, not the body I have now."
It was awful to say this about my friend, but I had planned to hit him over the head from the moment I first came in.
If he had been drunk, there was nearly a seventy-percent chance he'd rape me; if he hadn't been drinking, there was a good chance he'd report me for breaking and entering the moment he saw me.
Either way was practically the worst-case scenario, so I decided to lock my friend up for now and take my time persuading him.
Of course, I had only six days left to live, so I couldn't exactly take that much time.
"But seriously, how am I supposed to persuade him? He's a lot more levelheaded than he looks, so I doubt he'd believe me even if I exposed every embarrassing secret from our past."
Tsk, if that didn't work, I'd have to find a way, even if it meant threatening him.
Had I been lost in thought for quite some time?
The Fox Deity addressed me in a voice full of concern.
- Are you... all right?
"What? Are you talking about persuading him? Well, what I'm doing is basically being a yandere in real life, but what choice do I have? I'll just pretend I've been possessed by a yandere for a while and try to persuade him."
- I do not mean that, but your human relationships. I appointed you my apostle far too hastily, and you have suffered because of it...
"Don't worry about it. How many people am I even close to? At most, there's that bastard and my family. The rest? Commission clients whose faces I don't even know. And if I can persuade that guy tied to the bed, persuading my family won't be a problem."
Having even one person vouch for me would make a huge difference.
If I could just persuade that furry-obsessed bastard, I could quickly convince my family, who didn't pay much attention to me.
"Would letting him touch my tail be enough to persuade him right away? It does look pretty fluffy."
- It does not merely look fluffy; it is fluffy! Do you know how comfortable it is to hug one while you sleep?
"...You can hug it while you sleep?"
At the Fox Deity's suggestion, I cautiously tucked one tail between my thighs.
Let's see.
I could sleep hugging just one of the nine.
If I tucked another tail between my legs, it might actually be too uncomfortable to sleep.
As I thought this and hugged the tail, the sensation of embracing a soft stuffed toy combined with the unique softness of fox fur, giving me a killer level of comfort.
This thing is a cheat item.
Sleeping while hugging it would really let me sleep comfortably.
...Except that the space between my thighs was a little too itchy.
Was I in the middle of enjoying a blissful moment while hugging that drug-like tail?
It must have been time for him to wake up, because my friend began groaning and stirring.
"Ow, my head... What kind of insane bitch hits someone over the head with a frying pan?"
"I'm that bitch, you asshole. You can bash your friend's head with a frying pan, can't you? Why are you making such a fuss over it like some little girl?"
"...That's a voice I've never heard before. It sounds like the bastard's way of talking, but it isn't his voice."
Speaking in a chilly voice, my friend glared at me murderously despite being tied to the bed and said,
"What did you do with my friend, you fucking bitch?"