Chapter 104
104. Seo Jinhyuk: Exposition
The dark elf village I returned to at full speed had been reduced to ruins.
It was a truly horrific sight, enough to make all our efforts to protect it from the snake-dragon seem meaningless. Even the tower that had once soared high into the sky was collapsing.
My heart pounded at this incomprehensible situation. I hurriedly spread my mana and searched for Eleanor.
And that brings us to the present.
-Puhk.
A black spike, seemingly woven anew from the branches the snake-dragon had controlled with shadow magic.
A strange flow of mana emanated from the spike protruding through Eleanor's back. It felt familiar somehow.
The spike extended from an unknown black mass far away. The mass writhed and took shape.
A roughly humanoid figure, as though it had been molded from a sloppy lump of mud with too few components to be called human.
“I do not die. I am never destroyed. Who do you think I am?”
The voice leaking from a hole that might or might not have been a mouth revealed its identity. It was that bastard.
-Twitch.
The black figure pulled out the spike. Eleanor staggered and fell face-first to the ground. Blood pooled everywhere.
“Eleanor.”
I called Eleanor's name, something I had rarely done. There was no answer.
I frantically opened my inventory, took out a potion, and poured it over Eleanor's wound. She was still alive.
But her condition was obviously terrible. She had lost far too much blood. Even if the wound healed, this would—No. Don't think about it.
“Wake up. Hey, what am I supposed to do if you die like this, like this...!”
I poured in another potion, and then—Eleanor's wound—what was I supposed to do?
“My—”
Eleanor opened her eyes hazily and called out to me. But her voice was drowned out by another voice that followed.
“I am the king of all elves, the one destined to cross the stars and become the leader of a new elven race, the one who rejects death and destruction!”
It was a voice mixed with telepathy, and perhaps because of its appearance, it was especially grating to my ears.
-Grind.
As I listened to its incessant rambling, my tightly clenched teeth trembled, making a strange sound.
“I am the totality of desire, the one who represents the immortal longing that everyone dreams of!”
“Shut your fucking mouth, you son of a bitch!”
“Desire never withers! A mere black sword like yours cannot reach me!”
I drew my sword as I watched the ugly lump of mud sway. The bastard swung an arm that curved like a tentacle.
Its speed and momentum were both anything but ordinary. I immediately activated [All-Out] and met it head-on.
-Kwagwang!
We had merely collided, but an enormous impact struck my body and sent me tumbling backward.
Eleanor's body, which I had set down for a moment, was caught up in it and rolled away as well.
The hand gripping my sword had split open, and blood was flowing. This was ridiculous. It wasn't even a World Boss anymore.
“Why, why is it always... Why always, why does it keep being bastards like you? Why!”
I couldn't get the words out properly. Why did absurd bastards like this always appear only in front of me?
Hidden bosses, World Bosses, gimmick dungeons impossible to clear solo—why did every damn one of them have to show up in front of me?
Even after I became this strong, something stronger always appeared to block my path. Always, every time, only me!
“Give me a break, you fucking bastards!”
My mana thrashed in response to my emotions. The surging mana merely leaked away without giving me any strength.
If only I could use Mana Reinforcement. If only the pendant hadn't broken. If only I weren't a solo player.
If only that were the case, I could have handled this somehow. Why was Seo Jinhyuk such a fucking idiot?
-Bang!!!
“Kugh!”
Before I knew it, another tentacle shot out and struck my shield, sending an enormous impact through my body.
I wasn't sent flying like before. But Eleanor's body beside me was caught up in it again and pushed away.
This was fucking hopeless. It wasn't an opponent I could defeat without Mana Reinforcement. This bastard was ridiculously strong too, damn it.
“Fuuuck!”
I sheathed my sword and hoisted Eleanor's bleeding body onto my back. For now, I had to get out of here.
I had no idea what was happening, or whether this was even an opponent I could defeat.
But I couldn't leave Eleanor lying there like that. If I did, she would definitely be caught up in the fight and die.
I ran straight for the outside. Fortunately, that bastard's attacks didn't seem to reach very far.
Even so, several attacks grazed me and put me in danger, but it also seemed to move slowly, so I quickly opened up some distance.
-Bang! Bang!
The mud monster chasing me began destroying the dark elf village indiscriminately, and I used the opportunity to run even farther.
[Lake Where Starlight Grows]
I eventually reached the place where I had once danced with a fairy—the place that had stirred a strange resonance in my chest.
At that place, which could be said to hold memories, I held the dying Eleanor in my arms.
And Eleanor slowly opened her eyes.
**
The spot where she had been pierced had healed somewhat. But there was no sign that it would recover completely.
Of course not. The reason I had been able to survive near-death so many times wasn't the performance of potions, but my regenerative ability.
Potions obtainable at the ninth-floor level couldn't restore wounds involving lost body parts. A wound this large was no different.
“My dear, why did you come back? Was the quest not over yet...?”
I shook my head. The Epic Quest had definitely been completed. In fact, I had been just about to leave the floor.
“We agreed not to say our goodbyes separately, so why did you come back... and get hurt again?”
Eleanor worried about my insignificant wounds, seemingly unable even to see the gaping hole in her own body.
I couldn't answer her. I didn't know why I had come back either.
Whatever happened to the dark elf village was no longer my concern. The quest was over, after all.
Everything here was just an NPC, nothing more than a hollow shell without a self.
I understood in my head that there was absolutely no reason to come back—and yet my body had moved on its own.
“I see... You were worried about us, weren't you? Your heart was what moved you.”
Eleanor placed a hand over my chest. I had thought the same thing.
The thing I had decided to abandon long ago, yet still hadn't managed to let go of.
A heart that directly defied my determination to climb the tower had turned my footsteps back.
Pathetic. So pathetic, Seo Jinhyuk.
Even after suffering so much, I still hadn't come to my senses. How many more times would I have to go through this before I could finally let it go?
No, damn it. At this point, I had no choice but to admit it. Why was deceiving myself so difficult?
I had abandoned many things.
Trivial desires.
Accumulated habits.
My humanity.
My choices.
The happiness of settling down.
After abandoning one thing after another, in the end...
“Hehe, I suppose I should thank that specter.”
Only the things I could never abandon remained.
“After all, I have been given a chance to leave you the words I prepared.”
Even though surrounded by death, Eleanor gave me a clear smile.
“Don't be sad, my dear. I died a long time ago, didn't I?”
In the face of that smile, I couldn't bring myself to say anything.
**
After a brief silence passed, Eleanor slowly caressed my cheek.
“I am actually satisfied with how things are now. Instead of quietly turning into a shell where no one could see, I can leave this world in your arms.”
Eleanor's hand was trembling violently. It was even cold, already like a corpse.
“Well, I am not trying to complain about my lot. I've done more than enough of that already. I simply had something I really wanted to tell you.”
Saying that she was glad the dead could pass something on to the living, Eleanor smiled with her eyes once more.
The hand caressing my cheek, and the smile she struggled to form—
Both looked like gestures meant to comfort me.
“You shouldn't have come here. If you meant to carry out your resolve, you should have gone up to the next floor without even looking back.”
Eleanor then asked me why I had run here.
Even though I had already said aloud that it was a heart opposed to my resolve that had moved my body,
I stammered out an answer. It was because of my heart, because of the weakness within me that had refused to let go.
Because the pathetic human trash and fucking waste-of-a-life Seo Jinhyuk still hadn't come to his senses.
Eleanor blinked lightly as she listened to the words I vomited out, then gently tapped my cheek.
“Oh... I can't put any strength into my hand. I meant to smack you as hard as I could.”
Then her hand went back to caressing my cheek.
“That's not true. You are wrong.”
Her touch and voice were not those of someone trying to scold me.
“I have looked through all your memories and the images in your mind. So I know what words you need to hear right now.”
Eleanor said that, then forcibly raised her body, blood dripping from it, wrapped her arms around my shoulders, and pulled me into an embrace.
“You did nothing wrong. You are neither weak nor pathetic. None of this is your fault.”
She squeezed me tight. Weakly, but with certainty, Eleanor held me and whispered.
“You have never once wanted death. I can feel that in your heart even now.”
Something was wrong. My stomach churned. I had only heard a few words, but—
I felt like I was going to throw up. I swallowed with difficulty.
After I swallowed it down, something else spilled out from the other side. My cheek felt hot.
“You always wanted to be forgiven, didn't you?”
The thing I had forgotten for a long time, the first thing I had abandoned.
Tears ran down my cheeks.
**
I didn't know what had happened or how.
Why were transparent tears, which had refused to show themselves even amid so much pain, appearing now?
Why were tears flowing over words I couldn't even understand? I couldn't understand any of it—and I felt pathetic for not understanding.
Eleanor gently patted me. As she did, she whispered again and again that it wasn't my fault.
“What, what... What are you talking about?”
I asked with difficulty, my voice trembling.
“It isn't your fault.”
“So, what...!”
“You did nothing wrong.”
No matter how many times I asked, she wouldn't answer me. I had no idea what she wanted me to do. I didn't understand any of it.
“You did not kill your mother. It isn't your fault. It isn't because you were weak.”
This time, Eleanor's hand caressed the wounds on my body that were healing. It stung.
“I told you I saw all your memories, didn't I? Do you think I failed to see how much you torment yourself?”
Eleanor touched various parts of my body one by one. It wasn't the usual sexual harassment.
Every place she touched this time was somewhere I had repeatedly harmed myself to build up my resistances.
“You wanted to be punished, didn't you? Because after being punished, you could be forgiven. But you could never forgive yourself.”
The truth I had struggled to turn my eyes away from was thrust directly before me. It was—it was undeniably true.
Of course it was. Who in the world could forgive me?
There was no one in this world with the right to forgive me. That person was my dead mother, and my mother alone.
I killed my mother. My mother died because of me. Until the moment she died, I made excuses and did nothing.
I was the person in the world who knew that fact best. That was why I could never forgive myself.
“A person can never truly examine themselves. Even if they look back, all they see is the ‘self of the past,’ another person.”
“That is even more true of someone who lives in remorse. Such people are always looking back at themselves, searching for flaws to correct.”
“But I will dare to say this: what you call yours is not a flaw at all. Don't confuse yourself. Are your actions truly right?”
What actions of mine was Eleanor talking about? I thought hard, but the answer refused to come.
“What did your mother want?”
For a moment, it felt as though my heart had fallen through the floor.
“Did she want you to torment yourself and throw yourself into death?”
Eleanor had seen my past. All of it—the entire life I had lived, including the image of my mother left like a stain across that long film.
My mother wanted me never to lose heart wherever I went. She wanted me always to see good things and enjoy only good things.
That was why she whittled herself away to give me everything good. It was the same even when I was trapped in the tower, rotting away.
My mother asked for help everywhere she could for my sake, then died from overwork while running around for me.
“Did your mother resent you?”
I shook my head. There was no way my mother could have felt that way.
Even when I was a jobless bastard shut away in a corner of the house doing nothing, my mother loved me to a foolish degree.
I realized it. The person who could forgive me wasn't my mother.
Because from the very beginning—
“My mom never blamed me...”
For the first time, the thought came out of my mouth. Tears came with the words.
Eleanor nodded. Then she told me to forgive myself already and stop tormenting myself.
But I couldn't control the emotion boiling inside me enough to do that. What was I supposed to do with this?
“Think about it. What could your mother possibly have resented? Surely it wasn't you, at least.”
“I don't know.”
“No, you already know. Strangely enough, I resent it too. More than anything in the world.”
There was one word that brushed across my mind—the thing I had shut out of my sight long ago.
“And you know that the emotion boiling in your chest has been directed at it from the very beginning.”
And Eleanor whispered the name of that emotion to me.
**
After that, Eleanor spoke more directly, telling me the same things she had said at the beginning.
Once I realized it too, I quickly understood what Eleanor had been trying to say.
“Ah... it's almost time. It really seems to be the end. Still, we had plenty of time. I'm glad I trained myself as usual.”
We could both feel that Eleanor's life had reached its limit. It was thanks to this lake.
The bond connected by the night elves' secret art had grown dense once more as we shared our emotions.
“Now, wipe away those tear marks—and there. Your eyes look even better than before. Just my type.”
I could sense the faint hesitation in Eleanor's words. I said nothing and waited for a moment.
-Smack.
A shy kiss, utterly unlike the way she had tossed out sensual jokes, touched my lips.
Eleanor's pale face flushed slightly red. Well, even if she pretended to have lots of experience, I suppose she was still like this in the end.
She had had a fiancé chosen for her long ago and no freedom to meet anyone. How could she have had a proper relationship?
“Yes, since this is the end... I really wanted to try it. I'm sorry. It must have been annoying, an older woman constantly coming on to you all this time, right?”
That wasn't true at all. She of all people must have known that wasn't why I had kept my walls up.
“No.”
But I could vividly feel what she meant by those words, so I immediately agreed.
Supporting Eleanor's neck, I carefully lowered my head—and this time, I kissed her.
“Hehe, I knew you were the man I chose. I like you so much.”
Though she spoke as if she were completely composed, I could clearly feel how embarrassed she was.
Well, I could tell even without some grand mental connection, just by looking at that face flushed bright red.
At that moment, the tips of Eleanor's fingers began to turn white. It was the light that appeared when a monster died.
“Ah, I timed it perfectly.”
Eleanor slowly disappeared from the extremities inward and, at the very end—shed a small tear.
“Still, if possible... I wanted to go further than a kiss.”
With those words as her last, Eleanor's body completely vanished, and her soul flew somewhere far away.
I didn't lament that I hadn't granted her last wish. I had surely conveyed my feelings through our hearts.
[Achievement Unlocked: Promise]
We could do that the next time we met.
[You have acquired the achievement reward ‘Steel Soul’.]
**
The king of the high elves, the specter returned from death in the shape of a lump of mud, was still tearing through the village.
I put my sword and shield back on and walked calmly to where the bastard was rampaging.
“You fled with your tail between your legs, and now you've gone mad, have you? Foolish human swordsman.”
Perhaps it had absorbed the life force of the others in the short time I was gone, because I could sense an enormous amount of mana in its telepathic voice.
As I had said several times, it was truly a monster whose specifications far surpassed the ninth floor's limits.
What context had this bastard emerged from? What kind of backstory did it have to possess specifications like these?
I wasn't interested. It was an enemy I could leave behind without consequence, but I chose to face it.
“Small and weak human, do you think that flimsy sword of yours can kill me—the desire for immortality?”
“Yeah.”
“Oh-ho, it seems you have steeled your resolve. How feeble such resolve is before infinite desire.”
The specter continued to ramble on, telling me to state that resolve of mine.
I had felt many things, but I hadn't steeled some grand resolve all over again.
I had simply realized something.
Ever since I entered this tower, I had always been angry at something.
The direction of my anger had shifted slightly each time, and the reasons had shifted as well. Nothing about it had ever been clear.
But now I knew for certain. I knew exactly what my anger was truly directed at.
-Shing.
I slowly drew my sword and looked at the enemy before me. It was an incredibly powerful enemy.
It might have been stronger than any enemy I had met so far. It wasn't an opponent I could face while unable to use Mana Reinforcement.
And the pendant that activated Mana Reinforcement was completely broken and had lost its power. But that was fine.
I no longer needed something like that.
-Rumble!
The mana within me exploded and raced through the blocked pathways.
Because mana was strongly influenced by its owner's emotions and will, my contradictory heart had prevented me from using Mana Reinforcement.
But not anymore. I was no longer confused. Eleanor had taught me why.
The thing tormenting me, the thing binding Eleanor, the thing that killed my mother.
My true enemy, which I had been unable to look straight at because I had vowed never again to blame my circumstances or others.
The Tower of Trials itself was my enemy.
I didn't know what method I should use. I didn't even know whether a method existed. I didn't know whether it was possible at all.
But I would do it anyway. No matter what it took, I would smash this damn tower to pieces and make it pay for everything.
“They say will is an arrow, and the heart is its flame.”
I will never stop until the day I smash through this tower and advance beyond it. This is my arrow—the will I swore to myself.
And the flame that would give power to my arrow was not the resolve that bastard was asking about, but a simple promise.
“I'm going to go further than kissing a buxom beauty dark elf.”
The desire I had cut off within myself became a flame, and now my heart and will faced in the same direction.
“So I can't let a weakling like you stop me.”
With the power of Mana Reinforcement achieved through my own strength, I knocked away every attack the specter sent flying at me.
I had already grown beyond most low-floor rankers, but as long as the tower itself was my goal, that wasn't enough.
I had to become much stronger than I was now. I already knew how to do that.
I moved forward without hesitation or pause. I wouldn't settle for the pleasure of growth that came from abusing myself.
I would chase that pleasure to the very front, and to the highest place, so far ahead that no one could follow.
-Kwagwagwang!!
Watching the mana released from my sword crush the specter's entire left half, I made my vow.
I would become a flaming arrow that pierced through the ceiling of this tower and soared beyond it.
[Quest Complete: The Dark Elf's Tome - Final Chapter]
[Rank and rewards will be determined according to your progress... Evaluation complete.]
[Rank: SSS]
[Epic Item: ‘Eleanor's Soul’ acquired.]
[This item is permanently bound to you.]
[The Tower of Trials is calling you.]