Chapter 134
[Title: I... I Can't Breathe Properly...]
Author: Elves Are Pretty, Cute, and Good at Everything
My head suddenly hurts, and my chest feels tight...
It feels like all the strength is draining out of my body...
I don't even have the strength to twitch a finger. What do I do??? ㅠㅠ
[Upvotes 1021] [Downvotes 0]
- ‘어떡게’ x, ‘어떻게’ o
- Just pick up the elf as she is...
- Fi!!!nal!!!ly!!!
The elves suddenly began showing strange symptoms.
It started with things like dizziness and feeling as though they were about to throw up.
In severe cases, it even led to fainting.
“Could a rift have broken out?”
A rift was the first thing that came to mind when I considered those symptoms.
Rifts could cause headaches in the first place, and they were the only thing that could affect the outside world.
But it wasn't a rift.
Full-HP Elf: I don't know anything about that
Full-HP Elf: I don't have any of those symptoms at all
“Hmm...”
If it had happened to every elf, Full-HP Elf should have been affected too.
But the fact that the symptoms only appeared in some of them indicated that a rift wasn't to blame.
Normally, people would worry when an entire species began showing strange symptoms like this...
- So what?
- What do you want us to do? lol
- (-Elf- emoticon)
- That's certainly strange.
ㄴ True. How can their heads hurt when there's nothing inside them?
ㄴ Is it because they do nothing but drink all day?
Could this be the karma they'd built up?
No one was worried.
[Title: Eladriën Update.jpg]
(Cemetery GIF)
lol
[Upvotes 102] [Downvotes 52]
- Strong upvote lol
- Is this bastard insane? lololol
- Don't pick a fight with me. My head hurts ㅡㅡ
ㄴ Hey, look at this.
ㄴ Don't talk to me, you human bastard.
ㄴ (Black-and-white flashing magic GIF)
ㄴ Hieeek
Instead, everyone was busy teasing them in a festive atmosphere.
They didn't even have the World Tree.
With nowhere else to turn for help, the elves had only one destination.
- Head Mod pleeease, help us ㅠㅠ
- My sis is dying!!!
- Head Mod, help!!! Help!!!
They were calling for me, who had been lurking.
At times like this, the elves' chat firepower got faster.
Where had their usual hunt-and-peck typing gone? The latest posts were suddenly filled with messages looking for me.
- Ah fuck, they're looking for Head Mod again.
- What is it with the Head Mod every time something happens?
- Leave Head Mod alone to browse the gallery.
The other races naturally didn't look kindly on them for immediately seeking me out whenever they encountered trouble.
But I had been curious too.
“Why is this only happening to the elves?”
Judging from the elves' symptoms, it seemed to be a mana deficiency.
When the World Tree suddenly vanished and their mana dropped sharply, the elves who continued using mana as usual had shown exactly these symptoms.
But unlike back then, hadn't they been using mana sparingly these days?
And I found the cause sooner than expected.
“Found the culprit.”
The cause of the elves' symptoms was none other than the elves themselves.
[Title: It's Me]
Author: Head Mod*
[‘Elves Are Pretty, Cute, and Good at Everything’’s Post History]
[n hours ago / M-My head feels like it's going to explode!]
[4 hours ago / Alcohol really is the only friend I need]
[3 hours ago / M-My head feels like it's going to explode!!]
[2 hours ago / Drink up, bottoms up~!]
.
.
[1 hour ago / M-My head is going to...!!!]
What the fuck is this ‘Chowa Gal’?
Why do you keep drinking if you say your head hurts?
[Upvotes 9999+] [Downvotes 52]
- What the fuck lol
- But what is ‘Chowa Gal’?
- Wait, have you been chugging alcohol this whole time and then acting like your head hurts?
“This is ridiculous.”
The elves had suddenly started complaining about pain for one reason: alcohol.
Mana erased hangovers and other alcohol-related ailments, but now there wasn't even enough mana left for that.
They kept drinking in that state, so of course the hangovers came.
Then they drank again in that state, and the cycle repeated.
In fact, once night fell, the gallery would occasionally be overrun by the elves' sentimental posts.
- The night sky, me, and sweet liquor ^^
- Life is... truly a bitter apple...
- What are elves? What is life, and what is this world...?
- Ah, fucking elves.
- Go the fuck to sleep already.
- These bastards really piss me off every dawn.
They were such heavy drinkers that even humans who loved alcohol were left speechless.
The elves didn't deal in beer.
Only soju. Nothing but soju.
Even if its alcohol content wasn't especially high, drinking it like water was another matter.
“So, in conclusion, it's because of alcohol.”
No wonder alcohol seemed to be the fastest and most heavily selling item in the market.
Among all the liquor, soju was the one that got cleaned out the moment it was listed, so I could see why.
They had been fine when the World Tree was around, but now that it was gone, they needed to exercise some restraint.
- Um... Head Mod? ^^
- The thing about our headaches was a lie!
- Actually, I don't think we really need your help that much haha...
The elves belatedly realized that they'd dug their own graves and posted messages saying everything was fine.
But it was always too late by the time they realized.
[The liquor section of the market is locked.]
[Locked regional IP – Elad]
- Elkiyaaaak!
- Nooooo!!!
- lol, this is so satisfying.
- This is what gallery normalization looks like!!!
For the elves' health and survival, I banned alcohol from the market.
*
Sometimes, you had to take a hard line.
The elves' sobriety was one such case.
- I-I'll really just die!
- Head Mod, unloooock the soju!!!
- I'm going crazy I'm going crazy I'm going crazy
It had been a week since I started the soju ban, and the elves began running wild.
“But I expected as much.”
Posting walls of spam in the gallery?
That was the least of it.
“This isn't my first rodeo.”
Above all, this was directly tied to their survival.
The elves had no World Tree, so they needed to cut back on alcohol.
It was obvious that one serious wave would be enough for them to die off in droves.
- Head Mod*) How about one bottle per person per day?
ㄴ Do you seriously think that's reasonable?
ㄴ One bottle?? One bottleeeng???
ㄴ Can Head Mod survive on only 360 ml of water a day!!!
The elves had reached the point where they drank alcohol instead of water.
If they couldn't cut back on their own, I had no choice but to regulate them directly.
“Would not drinking really kill them?”
This was all a matter of patience.
I thought that was all it was and took as hard a line as possible.
[Title: What the Fuck Is Wrong with These Guys?]
(GIF of elves visible along the Adrian border)
(GIF of elves in a wretched state lurking around an Adrian outpost)
I thought I was seeing things, but they really were elves.
I thought it was a war and was so startled that I pointed my bow at them, but they didn't even react.
They cautiously crept closer, then suddenly soju appeared in their hands.
Did these bastards seriously come all the way here to buy soju using Adrian IPs?
[Upvotes 4921] [Downvotes 0]
- ?????
- Wow, fucking ridiculous lol
- Is this real?
- Normally, even insulting elves gets you downvoted, but these guys were so distracted by drinking that they didn't even downvote this.
[Title: I Found an Elf in the Warehouse]
(GIF of an elf dangling like a cat while drinking soju)
Yep;
[Upvotes 102] [Downvotes 0]
- Why is this real?
- What? No, what the hell is that?
- I raised security so the elves couldn't come, so they must've sneaked into the warehouse.
“Are they insane?”
But the elves' love of soju was even more serious than I'd thought.
They had actually crossed the border and infiltrated human society to try to buy soju.
Elven society was fairly closed off.
Considering that atmosphere, if things were this bad outside, I didn't need to see what was happening inside to know it was worse.
[Title: Head Mod... Please...]
(GIF of an empty Eladriën city)
(GIF of elves who had lost the will to live and turned into street derelicts)
(GIF of an elf showing no reaction even when its ear was tugged as an experiment)
The elves are dying...
Please... Don't take away our only happiness... ㅠㅠ
[Upvotes 5740] [Downvotes 54]
- Wow lol;
- I like alcohol too, but this is a bit much...
- Did something suck out their souls? There's no light in their eyes.
The elves had lost the will to live.
I wondered if they were doing this deliberately to make me release the soju, but Full-HP Elf proved otherwise.
Full-HP Elf: Head Mod, the situation is serious.
Full-HP Elf: (GIF of lifting an elf up and setting it down)
Full-HP Elf: (GIF of grabbing and mashing its ears)
Full-HP Elf: Normal elves absolutely hate this, but they aren't reacting at all.
Head Mod*: Is soju really that powerful?
Full-HP Elf: There are even elves praying to a statue of Head Mod to release the soju.
I realized it when I saw that.
The elves didn't like soju.
Elves were soju.
Soju had become an indispensable pleasure and pastime for the long-lived elves.
“I give up.”
If I didn't release the soju, it looked like they'd all die before then.
I'd understand if they'd threatened me to release it, but seeing them just crumple up like that was strangely pitiful.
[Notice: Soju-Related Announcement, Yep]
So I wrote an announcement.
Astonishingly, in less than a minute, the view count easily passed ten thousand and climbed all the way to one hundred thousand.
- Were all the elves just waiting for this?
- What the hell is with the speed that view count is rising? lol
- They're truly a species obsessed with soju.
[Notice: Soju-Related Announcement, Yep]
Author: Head Mod*
I give up, yep;
I never imagined they'd cross an international border and get thrown in jail just to drink soju.
I'm going to limit it to about three bottles a day, but for now, I've lifted the Elad IP ban.
[Upvotes 4921] [Downvotes 0]
- Kiyaaaak! I love you!
- At last, my time is starting to move.
- (I'm an elf! Head emoticon)
ㄴ (I'm an elf! Upper-body emoticon)
ㄴ (I'm an elf! Lower-body emoticon)
ㄴ (This time, I'll let you live... knight emoticon)
Instead, I set a limit of three bottles a day.
I thought this would stop them from collapsing as they had before, but the problem remained.
Mana still disappeared while detoxifying the alcohol.
“Could mana stones help somehow?”
Mana stones were the first thing that came to mind, but I soon shook my head.
There weren't that many mana stones, and the drawbacks far outweighed the benefits.
“It's not as if we have another World Tree.”
The World Tree? It was going through adolescence right now.
After receiving the utmost respect from the dark elves, it had realized its own value.
From the beginning, the one existence most delighted by the current situation was none other than the World Tree.
I was just wondering what to do about it.
-Thud!
“Huh?”
The bunker shook suddenly.
Startled by the sudden impact, I looked into the gallery and found a post with an unexpected title.
[Title: I Doodled a Gold Dragon]
(GIF of a gold dragon appearing on the top floor of the Mage Tower)
I think it took about an hour?
Pretty decent?
[Upvotes 3499] [Downvotes 1021]
- Wow, how is this a doodle? You draw insanely well.
- Wow, look how clear the image is. This is crazy.
- Upvote for an absolute master.
ㄴ ?? Wait a second.
ㄴ This is real, fuck.
ㄴ Author) lol
The top floor of the Mage Tower where Dragon Dragon Will Die was staying.
Another dragon had appeared there.