Chapter 21
Title: Gaaah, Why, Why, Why?
Author: Lloyd
(A GIF of someone writhing in pain)
(A GIF of fellow knights rushing in from all directions, grabbing one limb each, and forcibly holding him down)
Gaaah!!!
Gaaaaaah!!!!!
- W-why is this guy acting like this?
- ??? What happened?
- LOL, is the Demon King about to descend?
- LOLolol, fuck, this isn't even a card game.
ㄴ Sealed arm, sealed leg, enraged face LOL
Title: Fuckfuckfuckfuck
Author: Lloyd
●▅▇█▇▆▅▄▇
G/A/A/A/A/RGH, fuck!!!!!!
(A GIF of a wound being cauterized and healing)
(A GIF of Albo7 zoomed in on a knight writhing in pain)
Head Mod!!! My wound healed thanks to you!!!
You fucking bastard, I love you so much!!!!!
- Head Mod☆) LOL, you're welcome.
ㄴ LOLololol
ㄴ Fucking demon bastard LOL
ㄴ 'You're welcome,' my ass LOL
- No, but even for a knight, his endurance should be insane. Why's he rolling around on the floor?
- What the hell is going on? Did he lose a leg?
ㄴ I rubbed in some ointment really hard for about five seconds.
ㄴ ???
ㄴ (A muscle-flexing meme with Albo7 photoshopped onto it)
ㄴ LOL, what is this now?
There was a strange folk-medical faith in the Otherworld.
The way to defeat it was surprisingly simple.
Title: It's Me
Author: Head Mod☆
(A meme reading, “Can you feel the difference in power?”)
Don't come at me with weird folk remedies.
I'll smear Albo7 all over you LOL.
- Fuck, this is iron-fisted rule LOL
- Get hurt like hell for disobeying vs. don't get hurt for obeying.
- Please don't do this...
- Yep~ Smear Albo7 on me, idiot LOL. All it takes is making the big decision~
Knight Lloyd and Evelyn were both treated perfectly in a short amount of time.
Thanks to that, the gallery no longer doubted me over every bit of ridiculous nonsense.
Next, I wrote about how to prevent problems like infections before they happened.
Title: It's Me
Author: Head Mod☆
(A GIF of someone washing their hands against a white background)
Wash your hands.
- Why should I?
ㄴ Or I could smear Albo7 on you.
ㄴ I'm sorry.
If an explanation didn't work, I just had to give them a reason why they had no choice.
That reason was Albo7.
Of course, this couldn't convince everyone.
- Head Mod, wouldn't washing with milk be better?
ㄴ True. It's white and holy, so wouldn't it purify the dirt on your hands too?
There were always gallery users who wanted an explanation, no matter where you went.
ㄴ Head Mod☆) Yeah, that's why I'm telling you to wash with water.
ㄴ ?
ㄴ Head Mod☆) Water is transparent, you know.
ㄴ Head Mod☆) Being transparent means it's clean and holy, with nothing to hide.
ㄴ Head Mod☆) If you wash your hands with it, obviously it'll wash away impure demon curses and whatever, right?
ㄴ !
ㄴ Oh?
ㄴ Is that so?
By cobbling together an explanation suited to their level, I managed to convince even the gallery users who had stubbornly resisted to the very end.
So I had roughly spread the preventive measure and created a reason why they absolutely had to wash with Albo7.
Then all that remained was...
Title: Adding New Items to the Marketplace
Author: Head Mod☆
I created a medicine category and added them.
Bandages, gauze, Fucidin, Albo7, okay?
Don't die. Write at least one more post in the gallery.
- Is the Head Mod a god?
- Is the God Mod the Lord?
- Head Mod, thank you. My mother survived thanks to you.
- I hurt my foot, and the doctor said he'd have to amputate my leg, but I applied the medicine and it was all better the next day.
ㄴ Is it okay if I amputate the doctor's leg?
ㄴ I'm a doctor, and I approve this.
ㄴ Maybe he just wanted to cut off someone's leg?
Thanks to that, awareness had risen to some extent.
In other words, treatments where they split open your skull or cut off your leg just because you had a minor wound had disappeared.
Only then did I return to lurking and calmly browse through the featured posts one by one.
“Even so, maybe because the gallery's gotten so big, I don't have to worry about being bored if the post rate slows down.”
In my previous life, I had spent time hanging around countless galleries.
Even a huge gallery couldn't fill all my spare time with just one or two galleries.
But here, the post rate was so high no matter how much I browsed that I never had a chance to get bored.
“Maybe living in this storage room for the rest of my life wouldn't be so bad.”
There was food, and I didn't have to worry about dying.
I didn't even need to worry about employment, making a living, or my health.
Despite being possessed in another world, this little storage room itself had become my entire world.
Before I knew it, I had finished nearly ten hours of gallery browsing while rolling around on the bed.
And just as I was about to look around the inside of the storage room and enjoy a brief moment of leisure...
Crack. Crkkk.
“What the hell is that?”
A strange crack had appeared in the corner of the storage room.
*
To briefly explain the layout of my storage room, it was like this.
Item Storage 1 / Item Storage 2 / Item Storage 3
Bed / Store Items / Door
In this perfect layout, a crack had appeared in the corner toward which Item Storage 1 was placed.
“Wow, it looks just like a black hole.”
The bricks were roughly cracked, and a sinister purple light flickered between them.
Wait, wasn't this the perfect material for a featured post?
Title: What Is This, Guys?
Author: Head Mod☆
(A GIF of an ominous purple crack)
(A thumbs-up GIF with a paper reading “Head Mod” as proof of identity)
A crack appeared in my house. What is this?
Is some kind of magical beast going to come out of it?
- Damn, that looks legendary.
- Too bad it happened to you.
- Head Mod, it was nice knowing you.
Of course, there were no helpful comments.
It seemed no one knew anything about the crack.
But after waiting a little longer, I saw other gallery users with symptoms similar to mine.
- Fallen Noble Lady) We have one at our mansion too.
- Dwarf Taldru) Hmm? They're turning up now and then in the mines inside the Kingdom of Kilgrot too.
- One appeared in my house's bathroom too. Is this a magical beast invasion gate or something?
ㄴ Why would magical beasts invade your bathroom?
ㄴ The magical beast is taking a massive loss.
But no one seemed to know anything in particular.
Still, it wasn't something I needed to worry about.
Besides, it was useful in its own way.
I peeled and ate a tangerine, then tossed the leftover peel into the crack as an experiment. The peel vanished in an instant.
Hummm.
“Oh?”
I also tossed in some materials and trash that had been sitting in the storage room for ages.
Hummm.
“Ooh—no, this is amazing.”
Wasn't this practically an unlimited-capacity garbage bag?
Basically, pet lava...
Besides, it made a decent night-light and gave the room a nice ambience when I slept. It wasn't bad.
“Well, if it becomes a real problem...”
[12-Gauge Shotgun] - 420 points
There were plenty of solutions.
Of course, a faint sense of discomfort did brush past my mind, but I didn't think much of it.
“It doesn't seem like something I need to worry about.”
It was nice timing, anyway. I had been feeling lonely.
Thinking of it as having gained a pet lava lamp, I felt pretty good about it.
Just then, the dwarf Taldru's post was featured.
Featured Post) The Scenery Inside Kilgrot's First Mine...jpg
Author) Taldru
Greetings. I'm Taldru, the dwarf.
I've recently been promoted to general manager of the First Mine.
It's all thanks to you, Head Mod brother. Thank you!
Anyway, I'd like to introduce the interior of the kingdom now that it has recovered following the recent battle to reclaim the Antares Mountains.
(A mine interior that must be dozens of meters in size)
(A scene of countless dwarf miners mining and hauling ore)
After reclaiming the entire kingdom, the first thing we did was restart the kingdom's First Mine.
As you can see, it's fully operational, and we're developing weapons and armor just fine.
(A GIF of a sharp sword and axe)
(A GIF of sturdy armor and a rock-like shield)
We can easily mass-produce them, and if we receive an order, we can make them within a few days.
Yes, we're accepting customers.
Now that regular business is open, come by and buy something.
Oh, and this is the reward I mentioned last time, Head Mod.
(A GIF of the one-and-only sword made from Otherworldly minerals)
Its name is ‘The Justice That Stands Tall, Born of the Passionate Sweat and Effort of the Kilgrot Dwarves.’
I guarantee it's one of the greatest masterwork swords in dwarf history.
Take it as our repayment for your kindness.
Upvotes999+ Downvotes52
- Wow, they really did recover after all.
- Look at that dwarf-made weapon... I really want one.
- But damn, their naming sense is truly awful.
ㄴ The Dwarf Emperor is a real fucking idiot.
ㄴ The Dwarf Emperor's naming sense is a gut buster.
- But wait, he gave him a weapon?
- It obviously looks like a ridiculously overpowered masterwork sword.
- Wow, I'm so fucking jealous of the Head Mod!!!!
- Make one for me too!!!
“Hmm, I suppose it's decent.”
Of course, even I, who knew absolutely nothing about swords, could tell.
Just from the name, I could tell that this trash-tier-looking sword was a masterwork superior to any weapon owned by the gallery users.
“But I already have one?”
But I already had a masterwork sword called a 12-gauge shotgun for home defense.
It felt a little strange to accept something I would never use just to display it.
Besides, I already had a sword.
Hummm.
“Yeah, yeah. Thanks as always.”
The old holy sword shook as if reacting to my gaze.
I already had a sword that took responsibility for lighting my storage room twenty-four hours a day.
ㄴ Head Mod☆) Um, thanks, thanks. I'll put it to good use.
ㄴ Fuck, look how indifferent he is.
ㄴ I'm so fucking jealous, seriously.
ㄴ Head Mod☆) But is it really that good?
ㄴ No king of any country in history has even gotten a look at a dwarf masterwork sword.
ㄴ Their weapons are insanely expensive; they won't even let people see their masterwork swords.
ㄴ They're stingy, for real.
ㄴ (An elf meme with its arms crossed)
ㄴ Taldru) Are these rotten elf-ears trying to pick a fight?
ㄴ Full-HP Elf★) No, this is slander, I tell you.
ㄴ Taldru) Anyway, Head Mod, take the barter trade.
“Since he's giving it to me, I suppose I should accept it.”
Hummm!
The sword was making a racket, but I couldn't refuse it.
So just as I was about to open the barter trade window, I noticed something strange in the GIF.
Specifically, there were several dwarves clutching their heads and looking distressed.
ㄴ But those guys look like they're suffering pretty badly.
ㄴ Their eyes look hollow too.
ㄴ Taldru, at least feed them before making them work...
ㄴ Boss Taldru, now that I look at it, you're not much of a dwarf;
ㄴ Taldru) I've never done that. This is unfair.
A few replies mentioned it as well.
But Taldru didn't seem to think he was in the wrong at all.
In fact, aside from delivering the masterwork sword, Taldru had left a post because he had something to ask me.
ㄴ Taldru) Head Mod, actually, I have something to say about that.
ㄴ Taldru) They're all lively and perfectly fine, but as soon as they enter the mine, they become weak and listless. I can't figure out why.
ㄴ Taldru) They say they have headaches and can't sleep...
“Hmm.”
Then one possibility crossed my mind.
“Could this be because of the crack?”
The pet lava in the corner of my storage room—or rather, the crack.
My head did seem to have been bothering me a little ever since it appeared.
The dwarves seemed to be suffering from similar symptoms, so it probably was because of that...
“Why was I fine?”
Maybe I had developed an immunity to motion sickness after spending twenty-four hours a day browsing galleries in my previous life.
For now, I sent Taldru some medicine as a solution.
[You offered ‘Tylenol’ and ‘Sleeping Pills’ as barter trade items.]
- Head Mod☆) Take these for now.
ㄴ Taldru) Thank you, Head Mod!
Taldru happily completed the barter trade, as if he had been certain I would come up with a solution.
Thud!
At the same time, the sword called The Kilgrot Dwarves' Passionate... Whatever Masterwork Sword dropped into the storage room.
Hummm.
The holy sword seemed to shake strangely.
It obviously didn't have emotions, so was I just imagining that it looked uncomfortable?
“Still, the dwarves' headaches should be taken care of by now, right?”
Even if they didn't solve the problem, those medicines would make them feel better as soon as they took them.
About an hour later, I opened the gallery, thinking the problem should be resolved by now, but...
- Taldru) I'm sorry, Head Mod. The dwarves won't take them.
ㄴ Head Mod☆) What?
ㄴ Taldru) (An illustration showing Tylenol's painful side effects)
ㄴ Taldru) I think they're getting offended because of the picture showing someone in pain.
ㄴ Taldru) They refuse, saying they're sturdy enough without anything like that. What should I do?
So they wouldn't take it because of their pride?
Taldru left another post, apparently at a loss.
I'd seen people refuse medicine because they doubted its effectiveness, but this was the first time I'd seen someone refuse medicine because they believed in it but were afraid taking it would make them look weak.
But I knew exactly how to solve this.
- Head Mod☆) No worries. I have a plan.
ㄴ Taldru) Oh! What is it?
ㄴ Head Mod☆) Let's shoot an advertisement together.
All I had to do was change their perception.