Chapter 52
Peace had returned to the Gallery for the first time in a while.
The days when dozens or even hundreds of Gallery users disappeared each day, while all kinds of tactical nukes and lewd ragebait posts flooded the place.
I filled the bathtub I had bought from the store with water, then dropped a heatstone into it.
-Bloop, bloop.
“Magic really is amazing when you see it now and then.”
Heatstones were also troublesome byproducts produced after the Mage Tower finished its magical experiments.
When struck or cracked, they generated intense heat, making them difficult to release into nature.
That troublesome waste had found its purpose after meeting bathing culture.
“I think they said the Mage Tower was making quite a bit of money from these.”
I took out the heatstone after it had cooled and began enjoying my bath.
I enjoyed a bath while sweating it out for the first time in ages, along with a refreshing glass of orange juice.
“Ahh, this is living.”
I lay down with a much more relaxed mind.
I had to enjoy the occasional moments of peace.
My head hurt whenever nothing but argumentative posts went up.
What kind of ragebait will there be this time?
Would the wholesome and demure ones really never post selfies?
That was when I opened the Gallery while thinking about this and that.
- Fuck, it's the pits!!!!
- Mage Tower, wake the fuck up! Wake up already!
- Is the Mage Tower Master out of his mind, selling heatstones for this much money!
- I feel like I'm going insaneI feel like I'm going insaneI feel like I'm going insaneI feel like I'm going insane
“Ah.”
Of course.
This time too, the Gallery was heating up to the point of exploding over a new problem.
*
Keliarton's only Mage Tower, the Vermilion Mage Tower.
The story began shortly after Keliarton was founded.
[Title: I'm Going to Build a Mage Tower and Become a Master of Magic!]
Author: UltimateStormMage
(Meme of an empty lot next to Keliarton's royal castle)
If I build a Mage Tower here, won't the Grand Mage Head Mod pay attention to me too?
I already got the building permit, lol.
People in history have gained the favor of a Grand Mage this way, so I'll give it a try too.
Mage Tower Master Head Mod! Watch me!
- (I'm watching. emote)
- Oh dear, here they go again. Go eat something.
- Are we getting another likable regular?
- Dunno?
- (Mage rampage emote)
A certain shitty post had appeared in the Gallery.
As with most posts, I assumed it was another piece of delusional nonsense born from someone's fantasies.
After all, building a Mage Tower just to attract some attention seemed like an absurdly huge undertaking.
But it wasn't merely an empty boast.
[Got the framework in place for now, let's go!] - One month ago
[Keliarton Mage Tower under construction ㅇㅇ.jpg] - 20 days ago
[I have to make money, so I'm running the Mage Tower while building it. Not taking questions] - 14 days ago
[The tenth floor is complete ㅅㅂ, it's finally done] - 3 days ago
[Head Mod recruitment post) Mage Tower Master] - One day ago
He had actually completed a ten-story Mage Tower.
There was even a portrait of some beautiful girl who claimed to be me hanging in the center of the first-floor lobby.
On top of that, every mage who had split away from Adrian had gathered at the Vermilion Mage Tower.
Before long, its scale had grown larger than I expected.
“And didn't they say they were researching magitech?”
Each Mage Tower generally had its own specialized field.
The Vermilion Mage Tower specialized in magitech.
Fascinated by the items I had released into this other world, it had become a place for researching my magic (not magic).
As a result, it also produced the most heatstones, but there hadn't been any problems until now.
[Title: Selling 1,000 Heatstones]
Author: UltimateStormMage
(Magic golem meme)
(Meme of someone using magic, however briefly, to raise and command a magical beast)
(Meme of a heap of heatstones)
I was researching like crazy, and now I have way too many heatstones left over;
Selling them for one gyeongdan each;
- osax
- I need heatstones for bathing, so this worked out fucking great
- Put them all out right now!
- Heat! Stones!
- It's hard to grow fond of mages, but you're doing great
ㄴ Keep it up
Because I had bought up all the troublesome heatstones in Keliarton, and even in Adrian.
The barter tab was convenient because I didn't have to travel from place to place.
And it was even better because all the resulting fees were neatly piling up in my warehouse.
The problem was that I ended up attracting the dwarves' attention.
- Oh.
- Heatstones, very fine indeed.
- They're good for bathing, and if used properly, they could raise the temperature of a forge too.
ㄴ UltimateStormMage) Oh, really?
ㄴ I'll buy them.
ㄴ Give them to me.
ㄴ UltimateStormMage) Okay, okay. How many?
ㄴ Give them to me.
ㄴ UltimateStormMage) ?
ㄴ Give me all of them.
The dwarves bought them all up.
No, in a way, it wasn't even hoarding.
They used every single one as soon as they received it.
Unexpectedly, they used them for bathing more than for forges, largely because the dwarves had enjoyed bathing since before it became fashionable.
“This is really unexpected. Clean dwarves.”
But when you thought about it, it made perfect sense.
Covered in grime from their work as miners, they had actually taken an interest in cleanliness.
- Ooooooh, beer is the perfect thing to have with a bath!
- This is the meaning of my life.
- Working filthy at a brewery is completely unacceptable.
- Cleanliness is essential for beard care too.
Under the dwarves' fervent attention, the stock disappeared.
It hadn't dwindled. It had vanished completely.
It was only natural for resentment to arise in that situation.
Selling every last one to dwarves in Keliarton—not even to humans?
- This isn't about the difference in price.
Eventually, the Gallery users went all the way to the front of the Vermilion Mage Tower.
Before long, Keliarton's intelligent and wise citizens had no choice but to hold a justified protest and demonstration.
“Storm Mage, you fucking bitch.”
“Normalize the prices!”
“It's the usual wwe, but if you take it any further, it'll turn into UFC. Wanna kiss my left hand?”
“Look at this www guy hiding because he's scared.”
After seeing the protest from inside the Mage Tower, Storm Mage had no choice but to make a decision.
[Title: Fuck]
(Meme banning dwarf sales)
Prove you're human; humans will be sold to first, and other races afterward.
[Recommendations9999+] [Dislikes4587]
- sax
- Words to live by.
- (Frog emote with its eyes and tongue popping out in shock)
- Ahh, now this is a proper Gallery.
- Where is there a law like this!
ㄴ If you're mad about it, pay more. Don't unfairly pressure people like this.
ㄴ That's right! We elves feel the same way. This is far too unfair!
ㄴ Elves, get lost.
ㄴ Don't try to share a table with us.
ㄴ Sob.
A fist is closer than words.
In the end, Storm Mage had no choice but to kneel before the citizens' reasonable protest.
*
- Squeak.
“What the hell? How did a mouse get in here?”
When I briefly came out to get some juice, I heard the sound of a mouse near the ventilation shaft.
It seemed to have gotten in through the passage by sheer luck, but unfortunately, it had run into the swords.
I left the mouse to play a life-or-death game of hide-and-seek with the holy sword and the renowned sword, then returned to the bathroom.
“I seem to be seeing a lot more mice these days.”
Was it because people had stopped hunting mice now that the streets were cleaner?
I didn't think much of it and logged back into the Gallery.
- The reason humans are a rotten short-lived race...jpg
- Why the elf simps who say that are pathetic...jpg
- Looks like the forge will be closing until heatstone sales resume.
And in the end, signs of interspecies discord began to appear in the Gallery, and the problem eventually went round and round until it reached me.
- Head Mod, pass judgment on who was wrong.
- Head Mod, pick a side.
- You spread bathing culture, so take responsibility!
ㄴ Head Mod*: Wanna die?
ㄴ Sorry;
“I like baths too.”
Even I couldn't sweep this problem under the rug.
After thinking it over, I wrote a post.
Title: Dana
Author: Head Mod*
I can feel the recent heatstone dispute getting more and more heated.
I've also been receiving frequent requests for mediation from all over, so I'll state my position.
It is wrong for one side to hoard everything, and it is also wrong to control merchants with numbers and pressure under a free-market economy (not really).
I believe that elves, humans, and dwarves are all at fault in this matter.
Therefore, I would cautiously like to suggest imposing quantity limits by race.
[Recommendations9999+] [Dislikes9999+]
- You fucking bastard!!!
- That's good!
- Do you not realize that your cautious suggestion is basically a bomb in the Gallery? ^^
- The elves didn't do anything, so why are we being punished along with them? ㅠㅠ
- Full-HP Elf) Why us?
- I'm disappointed in you, Head Mod!
ㄴ How can you do this and still call yourself our brother!
ㄴ I expected you to side with the dwarves, as befits a dwarf!
ㄴ Why is Head Mod a dwarf?
ㄴ Head Mod is an elf ^^
ㄴ If she's a beautiful Grand Mage, isn't she obviously human?
ㄴ Myoran) lol
Just as expected, it was a complete mess.
The dwarves' backlash was especially fierce. Since they called me their brother, they seemed to feel all the more betrayed.
- Head Mod, even you...
- I was betrayed by my brother.
- There isn't a single dwarf in this world I can trust.
Perhaps it was because the dwarves had been quiet the entire time.
Maybe because of that, they couldn't bring themselves to give up the heatstones they had become even more obsessed with than beer.
I had no choice but to stop bathing and get out of the tub.
“...I suppose it can't be helped.”
I really hadn't wanted to use this method.
With a face full of helplessness, I slowly captured images of my hand and bathwater.
Then I posted a new entry in the Gallery.
[Title: Flying Squirrel]
Author: Head Mod*
(Meme of the back of a hand with all the blood drained from it)
(Meme of bathwater that had gone from lukewarm to ice-cold)
(Meme of a heatstone cracked apart and barely giving off any heat)
Sh, shi, shishishi... fuck
It's so fucking c-cold.
Let's all use them together.
[Recommendations9999+] [Dislikes10]
- Ah lol, I understood immediately.
- 100% persuasive.
- Got it.
- I admit this one.
- Are you some kind of cheapskate? Look at how all the color left your hand, lol.
- Fuck, you've been giving everything away all this time, and now that you want to benefit just once, people are being way too harsh.
ㄴ I didn't know it would be this bad.
ㄴ I didn't know Head Mod would use heatstones;
ㄴ Ahem, I shall restrain myself.
[Title: Quantity Limits Introduced]
Author: UltimateStormMage
(Meme of a warehouse with heatstones sorted by quantity)
Lol, I knew this would happen.
The heatstones have been normalized immediately.
For reference, I will keep a fixed amount of heatstones set aside for Head Mod's use.
- It's a shame, but this is the right thing to do.
- If one race benefits, another race loses, yeah.
- It was strange for one person to buy everything up in the first place.
- Fuck, why are you favoring only Head Mod? That's unfair.
ㄴ Then you go save hundreds of thousands of lives in Head Mod's place.
ㄴ Look at this ungrateful bastard.
ㄴ Who's giving you the bathtub and water, damn it, lol.
ㄴ The usual wwe.
In the end, the heatstone problem was resolved like this.
[Successfully bartered 10 Heatstones!]
Head Mod*: Thanks, I'll put them to good use.
UltimateStormMage: Grand Mage Head Mod is welcome anytime, free of charge ^^
UltimateStormMage: So when are you moving into our Mage Tower...? ^^?
[You left the chatroom.]
New heatstones had been added, and when I put one into the cooled water, heat rose once again, warm like a hot spring.
“Ah, nice.”
Feeling the warmth throughout my body, I decided to peacefully browse the Gallery this time.
An hour or two must have passed.
After getting out of the bathtub, I opened the Gallery again while drinking orange juice.
- Crashcrashcrashcrash
- Hold tight, the price is going to skyrocket without end!!!
- Ah lol, there aren't any sucker-ass losers who didn't buy shares in the Vermilion Mage Tower ages ago, right~?
- Ahh, that was delicious. I'm heading out, lol.
- Fuck, does this price make any sense?
- Elves, nooooo!
“Ah, fuck.”
Once the quantity limits had been successfully implemented, the problem this time was the price going completely insane.