Chapter 54
- Farewell, strongest.
[Title: You mere mortal, born in an age without me.]
(Meme of a collapsed underground warehouse)
(Meme of a refrigerator standing beside a kitchen)
The refrigerator.
I am grateful to you.
[Recommendations9999+] [Dislikes142]
- (Chimpanzee meme with its hands on its head)
- Ooooh~
- Masterful calligraphy.
- Fuckfuckfuckfuck, I shouldn't have doubted it.
- I should've just bought it when it first came out!!!
ㄴ Fact) It took a day for the refrigerators to sell out. Gallery users had a total of 1,440 minutes of opportunity.
ㄴ Fuck.
ㄴ The guy next door gave me some cold cola just to brag... Fuck, I genuinely wanted to die.
[Title: LOL, I just ran into my mortal enemy and beat the shit out of him) Proof pic included]
(Meme of someone beating themself)
(Meme of someone diving headfirst into a bed)
You! Fucking! Bastard!!!!!
- ?????
- What the hell is wrong with this guy?
- Don't tell me you didn't buy a refrigerator? Lol.
- I seriously can't forgive myself.
ㄴ For real, this is the first time I've ever felt so stupid and disgusted with myself.
ㄴ Why did I doubt an item posted by Head Mod? Seriously, ah, fuck, this is so damn shitty.
The Gallery was overflowing with curses and bloodshed more than usual today.
The reason was the refrigerator: all 100 refrigerators sold out in just 24 hours.
Fifteen sold by 11:50 p.m., and after the reviews went up, 85 sold in ten minutes.
It happened before the review post even made it to the popular posts.
- Head Mod, please release more stock.
- I, I usually don't ask for much, but please, please sell us just this one thing...
- Wow, no, I seriously can't forgive myself.
- (I'm an elf! head meme)
- (I'm an elf! upper-body meme)
ㄴ (I cut down the troublemaker. thief meme)
- (I'm an elf! leg meme)
- Are we losing?
Thanks to that, a lot of Gallery users started looking for me.
There were even posts that were closer to pleading than cursing.
“Ah, I wasn't going to sell any more.”
My heart softened.
So I released exactly 100 more refrigerators onto the marketplace for the last time.
The Gallery, which had been filled with despair, briefly came alive.
- Woooooo!
- Head Mod! Head Mod! Head Mod! Head Mod!
- Head Mod and sax. What's the difference between those two words?
[Title: Head Mod Shareholders' Meeting.jpg]
(Meme imagining Head Mod's head)
(Meme of Head Mod's left hand)(Meme of Head Mod's left hand mirrored)
(Meme of Head Mod's left foot)(Meme of Head Mod's left foot mirrored)
Head Mod Shareholders' Meeting = Countless Head Mods hold a meeting and reach an excellent decision.
It's an event that can never happen, because there is only one Head Mod.
In other words, it's an expression encompassing an equally great and astonishing decision.
(Meme of a refrigerator inside an opened box)
I believe in the Head Mod Shareholders' Meeting.
- Head Mod, amen.
- Damn, I saw the Head Mod Shareholders' Meeting. Now I have to worship...
- Holy shit lol, why'd you turn a person into some kind of chimera lol
- Take the damn post down. It's boring.
ㄴ Couldn't buy a refrigerator? Lol.
ㄴ LMAO, thanks for the dopamine refill.
ㄴ (Meme of a refrigerator)
ㄴ (Meme of Head Mod's hand giving a thumbs-up)
And that was exactly where I stopped.
“Stop selling!”
Refrigerators consume a lot of mana stones.
This was solely to increase mana stone consumption and boost heatstone production.
I have no ambition to rule the world with refrigerators.
There would be nothing worse than running out of mana stones and suffering a loss when I actually needed them.
- Buying a refrigerator.
ㄴ Name your price.
ㄴ How about 5,000?
ㄴ I only accept a minimum of 50,000, sorry.
ㄴ ?? Fuck, does that price make any sense?
But the refrigerator's selling price, which had been 500, climbed all the way to 50,000.
Of course, I cracked down on all trading within the Gallery, but I couldn't stop the black market outside.
As a result, refrigerators naturally became special items—items for the nobility.
- A cultured noble must have at least one refrigerator in their manor.
- If you don't have a refrigerator, you can't even join the social gatherings.
Whether one owned a refrigerator.
That had even become the admission threshold for Adrian's aristocratic society.
“Life really is different when you have a refrigerator.”
Of course, I benefited from it as well.
I had already filled the refrigerator in the corner of my room to the brim.
It wasn't one of the refrigerators sold on the marketplace.
I had splurged on a four-door refrigerator that I couldn't even have dreamed of in my previous life.
Of course, most of its contents were pizza, triangle kimbap, and cola—the food I ate while browsing the Gallery.
- But why are the dwarves so quiet?
ㄴ For real, I thought they'd be going crazy and spamming the Gallery with posts by now.
ㄴ Didn't the dwarves always research ways to chill beer?
I suddenly found myself wondering about it.
So why were the dwarves quiet?
The dwarves always had a lot of heat in their bodies from working as miners.
For them, cold beer must have been the greatest beverage imaginable, incomparable to anything else.
- Head Mod*) Where the hell did they go?
Curious, I left a post, and only then did one of the dwarves reply.
ㄴ Taldru) Oh, brother. Are you looking for us?
ㄴ Head Mod*) I thought you'd be the ones to welcome refrigerators the most, but you were surprisingly quiet.
ㄴ For real.
ㄴ Don't go around telling people you like beer.
ㄴ Beer-lover wannabes, lol.
ㄴ Taldru) All of you, shut up and listen to me if you don't want to kiss the floor.
ㄴ Whoa, yes, sir.
ㄴ Whoa.
ㄴ Taldru) The reason we haven't posted is...
[Title: Killgrot]
Author: Taldru
(Meme of a refrigerator nationalization decree)
(Meme of 70 refrigerators installed in the royal castle)
(Meme of a drinking party taking place throughout the royal castle)
We were all too drunk to post.
From yesterday until today, we drank without pause using the refrigerators, so that's why.
Our king declared the nationalization of refrigerators today.
At the same time, he designated yesterday as a public holiday.
It couldn't have been any other way.
Yesterday, after tasting cold beer, the dwarves who had lost their minds abandoned their work and did nothing but drink.
Of course, it's still going on.
(Meme of dwarves lying around each refrigerator and drinking beer)
(Killgrot's lowest-level beer warehouse)
We spent our entire lives doing our best to lower the temperature of beer.
But at best, all we could do was make it cool.
Then the Great War broke out, the project was completely scrapped, and we had to live without beer.
Do you understand what that means?
Head Mod, you have helped us achieve both our goals for beer and our race's goal.
That is why the king is currently discussing things with the warriors.
Whether to grant you a title, that is.
[Recommendations9999+] [Dislikes152]
- What???
- Wait, they're even going to give you a title?
ㄴ For real, they don't even grant citizenship to anyone who isn't a dwarf.
ㄴ Do they seriously think Head Mod is a dwarf?
ㄴ Taldru) It wouldn't matter even if, by some chance, you weren't one. We're already debating whether to include you in the biographies of great men.
- Head Mod*) Oh, thanks;
ㄴ Look at that completely underwhelming reaction, lol.
ㄴ Show some more enthusiasm!
The dwarves hadn't gone anywhere.
They simply hadn't been able to tear themselves away from the refrigerators for a whole day as they savored the taste of chilled beer.
I knew the dwarves liked beer, but I never imagined they liked it this much.
I certainly hadn't expected them to offer me a title, either.
“Of course, that doesn't mean I'm going.”
Still, I was curious, so I casually asked Taldru.
- Head Mod*) Thanks, but what kind of title are you giving me?
ㄴ Taldru) The most likely one right now is Gertrude.
- Head Mod*) What's that?
ㄴ Taldru) The highest-ranking administrator of liquor in Killgrot.
ㄴ Wow; legendary.
ㄴ No, they're actually giving him this?
ㄴ They really must be serious.
The Gallery's reaction to Taldru's one remark was anything but ordinary.
What is it? Let us know too.
As I looked on in bewilderment, Taldru kindly explained.
- Taldru) Put simply, it would be a position directly beneath the king.
- Taldru) It was a vacant seat that had existed only in name, one that no one had ever occupied.
- Head Mod*) What? Take it away.
- Taldru) Hahaha, I look forward to working with you from now on.
And the title the dwarves intended to give me was far, far higher than I had imagined.
*
“You have what it takes.”
Inside the silent ruined castle.
A voice like shards of glass echoed through the throne room.
“It means you may sit.”
Erzsebet, who had astonishingly deciphered the curse while drinking cola and tomato juice,
said as she looked at the refrigerator beside the throne.
- Ding.
“Yes... Don't hold back.”
The refrigerator, an artificial life-form created by Head Mod, the Grand Mage—a creation of the Transcendent.
If it had been merely brazen, that would have been ignorance.
But it was brazen and capable, and it never neglected its role.
- The ice is ready.
“I like how quick you are on the uptake.”
Erzsebet put ice into an antique wineglass and poured in cola.
Two glasses in total.
One was the “cola with cold ice” that she had dared to make and offer herself.
Erzsebet specially gave it to the refrigerator.
“What a shame. If only we could. Celebrate together.”
It was simply a shame that the refrigerator had no ability to eat or drink.
Erzsebet was extremely satisfied with the current situation.
The curse was slowly fading.
It was still difficult for her to speak long sentences in their entirety, but wasn't this already something?
She celebrated her meeting with the refrigerator in a small way and raised her glass.
- Hissss.
The bubbling black liquid slipped down Erzsebet's throat, flaunting its beautiful form.
“Ahhhhh!”
It tasted astonishing no matter how many times she drank it.
After learning this taste, Erzsebet could no longer fall asleep as she had before.
No, she even considered it a stroke of good fortune.
She was grateful enough to the adventurers who had gone to sleep to suppress the curse.
She needed someone else with whom to share this joy.
[Administrator Chatroom]
Dead-Set Vampire: Head Mod
Head Mod*: Yeah.
Dead-Set Vampire: Have a drink.
Dead-Set Vampire: (Meme of an iced cola)
Of course, that someone was always Head Mod.
Head Mod, who always replied whenever she was bored or lonely.
Even a refrigerator couldn't replace this.
Head Mod*: ?
Dead-Set Vampire: Or I could come visit and
Dead-Set Vampire: Cheers?
Head Mod*: (Meme of an iced cola)
Head Mod*: To celebrate whatever it is we're celebrating between the Otherworld Destruction Gallery and Dead-Set Vampire!!!!!
Dead-Set Vampire: Cheers.
Head Mod*: Cheers!!!!!
That was how she officially received congratulations from the owner of the Gallery as well.
The refrigerator was now proudly recognized as a member of the Ruined Castle.
“...It's a little disappointing.”
She had subtly asked to meet in person, but was rejected with ruthless efficiency.
But someday.
If she kept at it, maybe they would allow it someday?
“Just like back then.”
When she became an unwilling immortal.
When she was afflicted with an unwanted curse.
Just like when they approached her, whom everyone shunned and avoided, spoke to her, and offered her the position of Sub Mod.
A faint blush began to spread across Erzsebet's cheek as she drank her cola...
—but it wasn't going to happen. She was the master of the Ruined Castle, after all, and her pale skin and skill with mana meant her complexion rarely changed anyway.
She was about to continue exploring the Gallery, feeling a small sense of happiness.
(4.444.404) Wow, so this is the Gallery.
“...What?”
A strange, unwelcome guest was invading the Gallery.