Chapter 6
Life in the Otherworld isn't half bad.
Even if I'm hiding in an abandoned warehouse, living without knowing whether it's day or night.
[Top-of-the-line bed/Random brand] - 10,000 points
“...Tch, that's too expensive.”
Still, I can't help wanting it.
I had set my sights on a bed for better gallery browsing, but it costs a whopping 10,000 points.
That meant 10,000 cans of tuna—enough that even after eating one every day for roughly nine years, I'd still have some left.
[Buying. Selling.]
[A new marketplace function has been added!]
[Bartering is possible.]
“Oh!”
This barter function I discovered in the midst of all that was like light and salt to me.
I hurriedly entered the barter tab, and as soon as the new feature opened, lots of gallery users had gathered there.
-What do we do here?
-I came because they said it had just opened, yeah.
Ah lol, even if I don't have anything to sell, I can't resist taking a look.
“The first thing I need right now is a bed.”
[What I need: A bed]
[Requirements: My back hurts because I've been sleeping badly lately; preferably something soft.]
“Is this how I'm supposed to write it?”
[Register an item to trade.]
I was pondering what I could offer when one item caught my eye.
“A tuna can?”
It was my favorite meal.
A one-point, high-nutrition meal that could fill me up while I browsed the gallery without interruption!
Of course, I had no intention of trading it for a bed, but I registered it as a test.
[A tuna can has been registered.]
[Waiting for a trading partner...]
”Oh, so this is how trading works.“
I finished figuring out the new trade window and was just about to close it when—
[A trade request has come in!]
[A trade request has come in!]
.
.
[There are 56 trade requests in total.]
[‘PleaseAcceptMyTrade’ offers a purple-canopy bed.]
[‘WasOnceTheKingdomsTopMerchant’ offers a never-used canopy bed custom-made for the crown prince and bearing the royal crest.]
“Huh?”
*
Tuna is justice, and tuna cans are divine.
“Still, trading for a bed with this seems a little much.”
As a Head Mod who at least knew what conscience was, I knew roughly how much a single tuna can was worth.
I absolutely couldn't covet a medieval noble's canopy bed, no matter how many there were.
So I canceled it first, but then—
-You Head Mod bastard!!! Can't you put the trade back up?!
-Ah, why'd you reject it?
-It's not like you were choosing just one person; you deleted the whole post and ran;
-So you're saying you have plenty of tuna cans to eat?
-I want to eat a tuna can~
Ten new windows popped open in the gallery.
“Hmm, is it really that serious...”
I rested a hand on my chin and thought it over, but I couldn't tell.
Besides, at this rate of posting, even if I seriously started deleting posts, it would be more than I could handle.
Before the gallery could fill with chaos, I wrote a post.
Title: I. Have. Descended.
Hi, everyone in the Otherworld Gallery.
First, calm down, calm down.
I'm sorry I canceled the trade after putting it up, but are you really angry enough over that? (I genuinely don't know)
[Upvotes 35] [Downvotes 86]
ㄴ Ha, look at him going “calm down, calm down.”
ㄴ Are you doing this because you can handle my shit right now?
ㄴ Fuck, why should the Head Mod handle your shit;
ㄴ Upvote if you feel like feeding the Head Mod to an elf lol
ㄴ Upvote if you really want to give the Head Mod a good flick lol
ㄴ You only released tuna cans to the dwarves, then deliberately put one up as a trade item to test the waters—wouldn't that drive me crazy?
But the gallery users weren't calming down, despite my sincerity.
Of course, I knew.
I knew how explosive a reaction the tuna cans were getting in the gallery.
It all started with the dwarves' taunting.
Featured post) Do you fellows know about this thing called a tuna can? [999+]
(A picture of a tuna can being opened)
(A picture zooming in on tuna flesh being held)
They take this creature called a tuna that lives in the sea and store it in this mysterious thin iron cylinder.
And you all know how convenient it is, of course, if you've eaten it, but it also keeps for an incredibly long time.
The Head Mod says it lasts at least five years, haha.
I wish I could share it with you all, but what a shame.
(A picture of dwarves giving smug thumbs-ups)
Upvotes 624 Downvotes 999+
ㄴ LOL, these dwarf bastards are terrible writers. The post has no context and no subject. And the intent to tease others is so obvious that they've already failed at teasing them, yeah. Plus, they say “those of you who've eaten it” and then say “I wish I could share it,” which is a contradiction. This really shows you the level of dwarven thinking, yeah.
ㄴ Looking at this, it seems the author's intention succeeded, at least.
ㄴ You're not just triggered—you'll be scarred for life.
ㄴ Don't cry. Here, look at the camera and tell us slowly.
ㄴ Why the fuck are you looking at the camera, asshole?
Featured post) Is the Head Mod discriminating by race right now?
Why have you protected only the dwarves since the Battle to Reclaim Antares?
Why do we only get bread and bottled water while those guys get shiny, greasy tuna?
I know how to eat tuna too, you know?
No, actually, only nobles get to enjoy it, so I don't know—but I want to know too!
Why!!! Why only me!!!
Why won't you give me any? Why only me!!!!!
ㄴ Fact) It's something to be grateful for that we even get bread and bottled water.
ㄴ You're not the only one. I haven't eaten it either, I say.
ㄴ Pointy-ears, go pluck some grass.
ㄴ Not like those old-fart elves, I say.
ㄴ Don't cry! I'm not jealous of those dwarves' bragging at all, okay!
ㄴ Author) What can I do if I want to eat it... I want to eat fancy food like tuna instead of wheat too...
ㄴ Hnnng... Actually, even Elder Elf-chan wants to eat it...
ㄴ An elf offering comfort?
ㄴ Just how badly must those dwarves have rubbed it in
“Wait, wasn't all this supposed to be a joke?”
When I first fell into the Otherworld, most of the gallery was filled with posts about wanting bread.
So I had simply listed ordinary baguettes on the marketplace.
Even when it came to tuna cans, I figured they might not know how to open them, so there was a chance I could give myself away.
But then the mood turned into one where they were putting me on the guillotine.
-So why didn't you give us any?
ㄴ Head Mod☆) No; I didn't know you liked tuna;;
ㄴ ??
ㄴ You guys were always saying you wanted bread for breakfast, so I thought you liked bread.
ㄴ What the hell is this...
ㄴ If there's no tuna, you can just eat bread.
-Head Mod, give us tuna cans too!
-Head Mod oppa, I want to eat a tuna can... ㅠㅠ
-Head Mod, stop discriminating between races!!
In the end, I went back into the marketplace's barter section.
And when I registered tuna cans like before, the number of people exploded even more, as if they'd been waiting for it.
[There are 172 trade requests in total.]
I clicked the most eye-catching post among them.
[A chat window with ‘BuyAnElfUsedBed’ has been created]
BuyAnElfUsedBed: !!!Nice to meet you!!
Head Mod☆: Hi
BuyAnElfUsedBed: (Picture of a bed) It's a bed made from 100% Elrad solid wood. It's incredibly eco-friendly, too, so it's good for your body!
Head Mod☆: Oh, how many tuna cans? Make me a first offer.
BuyAnElfUsedBed: Oh, um... maybe... ten...? That would be good, I say.
Wait, is a tuna can really worth that much?
The longer I stayed here, the more it felt like my basic economic sense was being destroyed.
Of course, there isn't really much of an economy left here anyway.
Head Mod☆: Fine, I'll send you about five hundred.
BuyAnElfUsedBed: Heeeeeeek!
Then I suddenly noticed a problem.
If it was a bed used by elves, wouldn't it be old?
Looking again, its condition didn't seem all that good either.
Head Mod☆: Hmm, but isn't the bed a little old?
BuyAnElfUsedBed: (Selfie pic) (Picture of tousled wet hair) (Picture of someone gazing up pleadingly)
Head Mod☆: But I've heard furniture gets polished and its quality improves with age. Yeah, looks good.
BuyAnElfUsedBed: Eeeek! Thank you so much! I-I want to finalize the trade quickly...
I quietly saved the pictures, then was just about to click the button to finalize the trade, spellbound.
“What is this? A spider?”
There was something strange around the bed's wooden frame.
No, spiders would have been better.
Starting with ants, strange bugs I'd never seen before were crawling all over the bed.
Could “eco-friendly” possibly mean...
Head Mod☆: A-ah, aaah!
BuyAnElfUsedBed: ?! Head Mod, what's wrong, I say!
Head Mod☆: That's right, the gas stove!!!!!
BuyAnElfUsedBed: ??
[Head Mod canceled the trade.]
After canceling the trade, I returned to the marketplace main page.
[There are 252 trade requests in total.]
The number of trade requests had exploded in the meantime.
But I wasn't happy about it.
What if, like that previous elf, they were defective goods if I didn't inspect them carefully—or what if they mixed in something strange and sent it along?
“This is the Otherworld Destruction Gallery, after all. What was I expecting...”
Maybe I had been asking for too much from a world that had ended.
I was about to look at just a few more and wrap up the marketplace, still feeling disappointed.
[‘FallenNobleDaughter’ offers a three-piece canopy-bed set from the Ophelia Ducal House.]
“Hmm.”
Just then, I happened to notice one post that stood out.
*
The world had ended.
To Evelyn, that was no different from being left all alone.
“There's no one here. Everyone's gone.”
The Ophelia Ducal House's grand mansion stood at the edge of its vast domain.
In that enormous place, Evelyn, who had once been the duke's daughter, was curled up in a third-floor room.
The Great War began, and everyone was conscripted.
Her father, the head of the house, and her second- and third-born younger brothers, too.
“Where could everyone have gone?”
Naturally, they had all disappeared.
When the magical beasts crossed the kingdom's walls, every servant fled.
Now it was nothing more than a haunted mansion with no one in it.
Only one or two lost magical beasts occasionally wandered around.
Grrr.
“...I'm hungry.”
She had secretly brought food from the dining hall while avoiding the magical beasts inside the mansion, but now even that had run out.
Evelyn's once-brilliant dress was stained black, and dust had piled up in the room, leaving it filthy.
She had been starving for nearly a week already.
She no longer even had the strength to sneak to the dining hall.
She had only two choices left.
Starve to death here.
Or leave the domain and, if she was incredibly lucky, join a group of survivors.
‘But how would I even know where they are?’
Even her blood relatives who had reached the realm had disappeared; could Evelyn's odds of survival really be even one percent?
But Evelyn didn't have the courage to take her own life like the other nobles who claimed to be preserving their honor.
She could only think that all she could do was starve day after day.
[Buying! Selling!]
[A new function has been added to the marketplace.]
“...?”
Until the Head Mod presented a fourth option.