Chapter 65
Bathing is a culture.
Bathing, which had primarily interested the dwarves, had by then spread to every race.
A bath after coming home from work.
A bath to relax or pursue a hobby.
Especially after buying food at the Marketplace, enjoying a bath was the ultimate leisure activity.
[Title: This Is a Serious Bathing Addiction]
(Meme of cracked skin)
Fuck.
I love bathing.
When I get out of the bath, my skin gets completely messed up.
I should do it in moderation, but what can I do when I love bathing?
- Cut back, idiot.
ㄴ Bath Is My Life1) You're being awfully harsh. Don't worry, author. Try reducing your baths to once every other day or once every three days. Then, as your skin gradually improves, use plant juices and the like to keep your skin moisturized.
ㄴ Fact) Those are both saying the exact same thing.
ㄴ Author) Fuck, have some manners and give me a three-line summary.
ㄴ This is truly text gore.
ㄴ Reading this is making me feel like throwing up.
ㄴ Don't use honorifics, you disgusting freak.
ㄴ Bath Is My Life1) ?????
But problems caused by it began to arise as well.
Namely, cracked skin.
Because they enjoyed bathing two or three times a day, they had no grime on their skin.
But without lotion to moisturize it, their skin began to crack and peel.
As a result, people started trying all sorts of methods.
- Apply frog bodily fluid to the back of your hand.jpg
- I mashed up aloe, mixed it with milk, and soaked my hand in it. It's not bad.
ㄴ Fuck, it's obviously bad.
ㄴ LOL.
Of course, folk remedies were the most popular.
All kinds of bizarre moisturizing methods appeared based on hearsay.
The most widely adopted method was mercury cosmetics: spreading mercury thinly and applying it to your hands.
[Title: Mercury Is Really Good ^^]
(Meme of someone enjoying a mercury bath)
Doing this solved my skin problems! And I could blow off stress with a bath at the same time!
It was really expensive, but I worked up the courage to try it, and it's genuinely great^^
Mercury is really good ^^
Mercury is really good ^^
- Wow, how much did all this cost?
- They must be insanely rich. They live in a completely different world.
- But why are you repeating the same thing twice?
ㄴ Author) Mercury is really good ^^
ㄴ ??? Why is this person acting like that?
ㄴ Hey, something's wrong with them.
ㄴ Author) This is really good, mercury ^^
Of course, the side effects began to appear subtly.
But there was no substitute as good as mercury.
The price of mercury continued to skyrocket, and demand for it showed no sign of falling.
But then...
The Head Mod appeared...
[Announcement: It's Me]
Author: Head Mod*
Mercury discussion banned.
Mercury villains preaching mercury's effects and efficacy are banned.
Of course, buying mercury is allowed. It's none of my business.
It's not like I have anything to penalize, anyway...
- What?
- This is tyranny!
- I mean, it isn't...?
ㄴ Something about this feels off. What are you going to do if I buy it?
ㄴ Head Mod*) Go ahead and buy it, yeah.
ㄴ You gave permission surprisingly readily.
ㄴ Head Mod*) If they're volunteering to become living teaching aids for mercury poisoning, why stop them?
ㄴ ??? Damn. ㄷㄷㄷㄷ
But simply giving people the red pill without providing an alternative wasn't ideal.
“So I made one available.”
[Enlightenment Lotion 400ml] - 100 mana dumplings
!New Product!
It was Enlightenment Lotion.
The ultimate bang-for-your-buck, generous-value item that was indispensable at a military PX: Enlightenment Lotion.
Wow! You know Enlightenment Lotion.
This is. freaking. good.
But I didn't explain any of its effects when I registered it.
I didn't even say what lotion was or what it did.
The price was even 100 mana dumplings per bottle.
I had listed a product that would cost 15,000 won in modern society at the equivalent of 100,000 won.
But I was confident.
- Oh, a new product just went up.
ㄴ Huh? For real?
ㄴ I'm going to buy it right now.
ㄴ You don't even know what it is. Why are you buying it?
ㄴ I don't know, but it'll probably be good whatever it is.
Because there were Gallery users who bought any new product without a second thought.
Somehow, the Head Mod's Marketplace had developed an incredibly good reputation for its products.
Compared to the early days, the belief that buying first was always a profit had become practically universal.
[The product has sold out.]
- Agh, fuck!!!!
- Again!!! Why am I the only one who couldn't buy it again!!!!
- I'll never be happy!!!!
- It was there.
ㄴ It wasn't.
Even an initial batch of around a hundred sold out within a minute without any announcement.
There were thousands of Gallery users who dropped by the Marketplace whenever they were bored.
“If I sleep for a little while and wake up, reaction posts should be up, right?”
Looking at reviews and reaction posts about the products I uploaded had long since become one of my small hobbies.
Maybe I could use the proceeds from selling this lotion to upgrade my bunker on a large scale.
“The lotion is... going to take off...!”
I took a short nap, hoping that even if I turned it into a luxury brand, it would at least sell decently.
- Lotion is my love.
- Even if a robber pointed a gun at me and demanded lotion, I wouldn't give them any.
- Fuck, there are lotion robbers now.
- We provide lotion safe-deposit services. Please show us lots of love.
*
The first reaction was curiosity.
- What on earth is the bottle made of?
- You can see inside, but it isn't glass.
- What's this paper with letters printed on it? No, how did they even do this?
That curiosity was directed at the lotion container itself.
Everything about it was fascinating, from the simple plastic bottle to the sticker-like product label attached to it.
But the Gallery users, who had grown accustomed to the Marketplace's increasingly diverse products, soon became interested in the contents.
- Oh...
- It's smooth. Feels nice.
- The scent is fucking amazing. What is this? This is fucking great lol.
After bathing, they squeezed out a little lotion and applied it to their skin.
Then, as a matter of course, their entire bodies gave off a pleasant scent, and, more importantly, their skin didn't dry out.
Their skin became moisturized.
It neither felt tight nor cracked, and it contained no ingredients harmful to the body.
The more often they applied it, the more hydrated their skin became.
“Right, I came here to sell lotion.”
Inside a noble's mansion in Adrian.
The lady of the house was facing a merchant who was bowing with a smile.
“How many can you sell me?”
“I can sell you up to three.”
A so-called Marketplace merchant.
Although the Head Mod had banned reselling, black-market transactions like this still happened frequently.
Depending on their value and rarity, Marketplace products generally sold for at least one and a half times their original price, and sometimes dozens of times more.
“Bring out the merchandise.”
The noblewoman urged the merchant on with an impassive but unmistakably sparkling gaze.
The merchant soon began opening his bag slowly, and there really was lotion inside.
Not just any lotion, either—it was the new bathhouse lotion the Head Mod had sold as a second release!
“Ah, so this is...”
The lady admired the lotion with an entranced look before turning to the merchant.
“So how much are you planning to sell it for?”
“Well... It took a lot to acquire this. I had to travel all the way to a distant land and go through quite a lot during the purchase...”
“Don't beat around the bush. Tell me.”
“I was thinking 2,500 mana dumplings.”
2,500 mana dumplings.
Compared to the 200 mana dumplings it had been listed for as a new product, that was a ruinous price.
But the noblewoman's hesitation was brief.
“Give me all three.”
“Thank you very much!”
“I'll give you an additional 2,000. Bring me and sell me the entire next shipment as well.”
“Haha, how could I refuse?”
When applied to the skin, it smelled good, prolonged the effects of bathing, and caused no skin problems.
Above all, it had no side effects.
The atmosphere had become such that it seemed strange to save money on a product that was actually beneficial.
[Title: LOL, Human Victory]
(Meme of someone taking a selfie while holding lotion)
I finally have lotion too!!
- Wow, I'm so fucking jealous.
- Why not me?
- Buy me one.
- Buying.
ㄴ Author) LOL, I'm going to use it myself.
“It's much more popular than I expected.”
The supply was infinite, but I alone possessed the right to sell it.
It made me wonder whether this was some kind of monopoly, but I had sold everything conscientiously until now.
“No, actually, it was the opposite.”
With the survival of Gallery users as my top priority, I had sometimes sold necessities cheaply instead.
The Gallery needed its users to survive.
But lotion wasn't a necessity.
It was clearly a cosmetic, and people could live without it.
So, as a test, I tried selling products like this at a high price to make a substantial profit...
[Mana Dumplings in Possession – 182,000]
“When am I ever going to eat all these?”
It sold almost too well.
I was now earning mana dumplings far faster than I could consume them.
My storage had already exceeded its limit and was on the verge of bursting, so there was nowhere else to put the dumplings.
I had become a mana-dumpling tycoon in the real world, not just in the Gallery.
“But something's missing.”
Still, something felt unsatisfying.
For one thing, black-market dealers were earning more per item than the Marketplace price.
And when considering the total sales volume, it was somewhat underwhelming.
Since only a few wealthy Gallery users and nobles could afford the high price, it felt like it had become their own private league.
“Is there anything that could attract ordinary Gallery users too?”
I had no intention of lowering the price for the time being.
There were Gallery users who had already paid a high price for it.
Even in modern times, there were expensive luxury brands that most people still took an interest in and bought, weren't there?
“Hmm...”
I was lying on my bed, deep in thought for several minutes, when...
“Malphite, should I make lunch today?”
Something suddenly appeared in my room.
Penny poked her head around the door.
When our eyes happened to meet, I noticed that Penny had grown even more than before.
She didn't have the alluring quality of rabbitfolk.
Compared to the lust her username claimed, she was far, far cuter...
“I found it.”
“Huh?”
Penny's trademark was her dazzling smile on a perfectly clean, snow-white face without a single blemish.
Penny was the one who spent the most time with me, and she had been an enthusiastic user of the lotion from the start.
“Would you like to do an advertisement with me?”
A way to farm experience toward a better bunker.
I had found an overpowered marketing model.