Chapter 73
[Title: The Communist Manifesto]
Author: Marx
(Meme of the Adrian flag being lowered)
(Meme of a red flag emblazoned with “Head Mod's Marketplace” being raised)
Phron abolishes the existing aristocratic system.
The new Phron will deprive no one of the power to appropriate the products of their labor.
It will merely deprive them of the power to subordinate the labor of others to themselves through such appropriation.
From this day forward, Phron declares itself an independent republic, free from Adrian.
Commoners of all nations, join the tide of revolution!
- Season 4232 of Adrian coming apart
- Wait, what the hell is going on?
- Fact) Adrian has no power to stop this
ㄴ Fact) That's a fact.
- But what's an aristocracy?
ㄴ Seriously, isn't it just being divided into noble blood and commoner blood from birth?
ㄴ What does it mean that nobles and I are equals??
ㄴ (What the hell is this phenomenon? emote)
ㄴ You're suffering from severe brainwashing addiction.
ㄴ Hmph, what a ridiculous thing to say. It's thanks to Her Majesty's grace that we have this freedom of thought.
The Duke's Proxy has gone crazy!
“No, this is seriously insane.”
Phron had been quiet for a while.
But it turned out they had been in the middle of a revolution.
Naturally, people came swarming in after the surprise declaration was posted at dawn.
Some people played around as if they were enjoying a festival,
while others seriously agreed with what it said.
“The aristocratic system should definitely be abolished someday. And equality is right, too.”
Even I agreed with part of it.
That part was the aristocratic system.
Reality wasn't some random-draw game. Was it really reasonable for the heavens to decide your social status when you were born?
“But why communism of all things?”
The problem was that this change leading to communism would be a little troublesome.
“Originally, I should've banned this the moment I saw it...”
The post had monopolized the Popular Posts section for a full three hours, feeding on everyone's attention.
I had missed the golden opportunity.
But I felt wronged too.
[Title: Only the Head Mod Look!]
Author: World's Greatest Rabbit
(Meme of someone clasping both hands demurely while looking up)
(GIF of a rabbit wagging its tail while facing away)
∩ >ㅅ< ∩
[Recommendations9999+] [Dislikes151]
- (No lewd stuff! emote)
- (Elf applauding with tears streaming down their face emote)
- Damn... justice is alive...
- Fuck, what's with the 51 dislikes?
ㄴ Probably the other beastfolk?
ㄴ Seriously lol. They're cowards who hide away and just watch everyone else's reactions.
ㄴ They're only doing that because they're jealous that the rabbits get Head Mod's help and can freely hog the attention lol
[Title: So Embarrassing...//]
Author: Please Shake the Carrot
(GIF of someone writhing while lying face-down on a bed)
Head Mod... when are you coming?
[Recommendations9999+] [Dislikes151]
- This! This is the stuff!!!
- Black rabbits... quite a rarity... hehe
- Posting lewd pictures while acting shy?
ㄴ Hmm... this is totally...
ㄴ It reminds me of some succubus somewhere...
ㄴ Wholesome-Modest) -_-
ㄴ (Got you now, you little punk! emote)
ㄴ Please post something already!!!!!
ㄴ Do you want to watch me die???
ㄴ Wholesome-Modest) ^^ hehe
ㄴ Huh? Huh????
Maybe it was because it was late at night at the end of the month.
There were so many useful and excellent information posts going up.
As a modern intellectual, parched for knowledge and information, I couldn't possibly pass them by.
So while I was cultivating my virtue and learning, a surprise manifesto was posted.
- Collective effort and collective distribution? Who's going to do that? LMAOOOO
ㄴ Seriously, there'll be an upper echelon in the end, and they'd have to be extraordinarily ungreedy lol
ㄴ That's absolutely impossible... huh?
ㄴ But when you think about it, it does make sense.
ㄴ We have Head Mod, don't we?
- Collective effort (just harvest mana dumplings)
ㄴ Fair distribution (Head Mod exchanges them for the things we need and distributes them fairly)
ㄴ (Elf looking shocked emote)
ㄴ It... makes sense!
The problem was that people were gradually becoming swayed by the idea, one after another.
And riding that momentum, the troll dropped a bombshell into the Popular Posts section.
[Title: Communism Will Fail]
Author: Mark
For the following five reasons.
Dividing property will destroy people's incentive to work.
Eliminating entrepreneurs will prevent innovation.
Eliminating intellectuals will make everyone ignorant.
Eliminating religion will cause morality to decay.
If you trust people, they will betray you.
But there is a way to solve all these problems.
Head Mod.
I know you're watching.
If you join us, it will surely be resolved.
Become our committee's General Secretary.
That is the only way this world can survive.
[Recommendations1560] [Dislikes9999+]
- A drift is still the Demon Emperor
- Head Mod, please... We're doomed without you...
- Godlike Storm Mage) Fuck, wait your turn!!!
- Why are humans arbitrarily asking you to become their leader?
ㄴ That's right. Even cold water has an order.
ㄴ Head Mod is coming to Eladrien, you know?
- What the hell is this supposed to mean?
- Head Mod, brother, absolutely not!
- Remember the long years we spent together in Kilgrot.
Phron had unilaterally tried to drag me into it.
Naturally, the people who had been watching from the sidelines found the fire at their own feet.
The result was inevitable.
“Wow, the world's first 9999+ dislikes!”
Thanks to that, the comment section literally went up in flames.
One by one, people began mentioning me, and the argument grew heated and spiraled out of control.
In the end, there was only one thing I could do.
- Head Mod*) Why me?
ㄴ Head Mod*) Thank you, everyone, for mentioning me. I will replace your fraternization with bans.
ㄴ Mark) ?
ㄴ ???
ㄴ No, wait!
[Ban targets: 512 users]
[Ban duration: 24 hours]
[Reason for ban: Go drink some cold water and come back]
I began firing off bans indiscriminately in all directions.
[This post cannot be viewed.]
- Aaaah, Head Mod is mass-banning everyone!!!
- Get down!!!!!
[This post cannot be viewed.]
[This post cannot be viewed.]
- Fuck, save me!
- (Frog sobbing uncontrollably emote)
ㄴ Head Mod*) The innocent shall live.
I had never intended to become a General Secretary or anything like that.
Besides, modern history had plainly shown how communism had played out.
“General Secretary? Isn't that just a real-world Head Mod?”
More than anything, I had no desire to become a real-world Head Mod.
*
Hundreds of people vanished through bans in a short time.
Then, a day later, all the users who had been banned were released simultaneously.
[Title: This Is Your One-Time Parole]
Author: Head Mod*
(Can you feel the difference in power? emote)
[Recommendations9999+] [Dislikes0]
- Revealing one's political colors is not right.
ㄴ I also think fraternization is a valid reason for a ban.
ㄴ This is a correct opinion.
ㄴ I agree with this as well.
ㄴ Let us all make this a Gallery where we observe manners and courtesy!
- Fuck, these bastards lololol
- Head Mod normalized everything with his ban-hammer dance lol
- Feeling sane now? lol
The overheated Gallery quickly calmed down.
- But precisely because he refused, we should crown him General Secretary even more.
ㄴ Yeah. A selfless leader? That's all the more reason we have to hold on to him.
Of course, there were still occasional Gallery users who failed to read the room...
ㄴ Head Mod*) Die.
ㄴ I'm sorry.
ㄴ I almost said that.
I had the ban card.
Once I normalized the rest of the trolls too, the Gallery had at least somewhat returned to normal.
Of course, that only applied inside the Gallery; it didn't mean the atmosphere in Phron itself had been resolved.
Hadn't they already overthrown the aristocratic system and declared communism, after all?
“Should I stop this? Or leave it alone?”
I had already heard enough about communism's ending in modern times to last a lifetime, so I felt uneasy.
But before long, I no longer needed to worry about it.
A much bigger problem had appeared.
[Title: Fuck, Emergency!!!]
(Meme of a monster chasing someone crawling on all fours)
(Meme of a dynamically shaking screen as a monster chases right up to the camera)
(Meme of a monster miraculously caught in a bear trap, splitting into “ma” and “su”)
A monster showed up in our village;
But it was a monster I'd never seen before.
The strange thing was that it radiated cold all over, its arms and legs looked about two meters long, it was bald, and it crawled on all fours.
I'm the last survivor.
I ran like mad day and night, and I just barely survived by a miracle, so I'm posting this now.
Fuck, raise your guard.
Looks like a crack has burst.
- No, it's real.
- It looks fucking fierce.
- Being bald isn't a noteworthy feature, you fuck.
ㄴ “Noteworthy feature,” my ass lololol
- But what if it really has burst?
- Ah, fuck, that thing circling near our village looks similar to that.
ㄴ Oh, you too? It's the same in our village.
The crack Die-Standing-After-All had warned about finally burst.
*
The crack that had appeared in Phron burst.
The monsters beyond the crack, which had already been threatening enough with the cold alone, began a full-scale invasion.
“Is this really all we have?”
“Yes. We brought everything we could find, but...”
The nearby soldier wore an awkward expression at Mark's question.
They had known the crack would eventually burst.
The problem was that it had happened faster than expected.
More than anything, all the steel Head Mod had distributed in the past had vanished without a trace.
“Why are there so few weapons? I clearly distributed them according to the required amounts for each territory.”
“Well...”
The knights gathered from large and small towns outside the ducal capital did not look happy.
Mark soon realized the reason.
“Don't tell me they melted it down to make luxury goods?”
“...Yes.”
The steel armor and weapons distributed to protect the castles had been melted down by the lords, who used them to indulge in luxury.
They had made statues of themselves out of steel, along with all kinds of tableware and ingots, and taken them for themselves.
But he couldn't blame them.
The revolution had happened long ago, and none of them were among the living anymore.
“Why did this have to happen now...”
They had just finished their revolution and had not even properly reorganized yet.
As he clutched his head with both hands and let out a deep sigh, a system notification appeared.
[New items have been added to the Marketplace!]
New items had arrived.
The knights in the meeting hall checked those items, and their eyes widened.
“Lord Mark—no, Comrade!”
“Have you seen it? We're saved!”
As voices called out to him in surprise one after another, Mark opened the Marketplace as well.
Then he saw the items in the Marketplace and understood.
Why Head Mod had refused to become General Secretary.
And why new items had been added to the Marketplace now, at the worst possible crisis, with monsters pouring out of the crack.
“Is this a test?”
Phron had been the place where the class system was most vicious.
Being so remote, how many years had the nobles and the wealthy spent extorting the commoners?
Against that backdrop, Head Mod had posed a question along with his refusal.
“Are we truly suited to communism?”
Prove it yourselves.
Realizing the hidden meaning, Mark relaxed his despairing expression and purchased the new item.
[The “M2 Flamethrower” will be delivered soon!]
“Then I will prove it.”
A weapon that matched the red Phron flag.
A weapon whose red hue matched the cover of The Theory of Imperialism.
It was a flamethrower, a weapon that had been used since World War I.