Chapter 75
[Announcement: Actually, I really am a woman...]
Author: Head Mod*
(Witch-hunt gathering meme)
(Frog angrily giving the middle finger meme)
Sorry, I baited you just to show you this..
The medieval humans' level of awareness—is this for real?
This is truly a trial by the world's most powerful idiots..
How do they start a witch trial the moment life becomes tolerable?
Are those really the same pathetic humans from before? Humans are truly legendary...
[Recommendations1512] [Dislikes9999+]
- Fuck, I got baited
- Head Mod cheer~ croak-croak
- Admit that you're a beautiful girl already
ㄴ Ah, hurry up and admit it!
ㄴ Seriously, if you don't admit it now, you're screwed!!
- Myoran) lol
ㄴ You're acting all high and mighty just because you saw her face
ㄴ I seriously want to grab her ears and lift her up
ㄴ Myoran) (Shotgun stored in the village meme)
ㄴ That's what I almost said lol
ㄴ That's a bad thing to say, no-no
Just before the witch trial was about to begin, I quickly wrote and uploaded a post.
But I figured an ordinary post wouldn't be enough to stop the execution, so I stirred up some bait.
As a result, the comment section went completely wild.
- Head Mod*) Now, now, everyone calm down
ㄴ Fuck, don't tell me to calm down
ㄴ My left hand's name is Calm. It's telling me it wants to meet your face.
ㄴ (Elf giving the middle finger meme)
ㄴ Head Mod*) (Permanent-ban screen capture meme)
ㄴ Head Mod*) I said calm down.
ㄴ Sorry.
ㄴ If you're going to ban me from the Gallery, just kill me instead.
But I soon calmed the Gallery users down with my outstanding eloquence.
There were three people tied to pillars for the witch hunt.
Judging by the way people were thrusting torches at them, it was obvious all three would have died if I'd been even a little later.
Once the trial was temporarily halted, someone came forward in protest.
- Albert/Cardinal/Faithfulness: How rude! Head Mod, how dare you try to interfere with a religious trial?
A Gallery user with a truly legendary username.
Judging by appearances, he seemed to be affiliated with the cathedral conducting the trial.
- Head Mod*) Those people are witches?
ㄴ Albert/Cardinal/Faithfulness: Of course! They used demonic powers, so they deserve to be punished!
“You sure write a lot of bullshit.”
Of course, I didn't agree with that.
My brow furrowed on its own.
How could they try to burn someone alive over such delusional, unrealistic nonsense?
“You, get out.”
I was just about to press the permanent Gallery-ban button without asking any questions.
“Huh?”
Then I caught sight of Penny, who was eating fresh-cream cake instead of breakfast.
Come to think of it, Penny is a demon too, isn't she?
“Maybe there really are witches?”
This is an apocalyptic otherworld where there's even a likable elf Gallery user who speaks in the -eyo style...
I briefly came to my senses.
Then I calmly asked Albert/Cardi...whatever his name was a question.
- Head Mod*) Then naturally, there must be victims too, right?
Even if this was the Middle Ages, it should be impossible to accuse someone without a victim.
Of course, in the advanced version, people often stabbed first and asked questions later, but it didn't seem to have reached that point yet.
- Albert/Cardinal/Faithfulness: That's right. This man right here is the victim!
ㄴ Alster) Sob, that's right. I'm the victim...
ㄴ Alster) (Farmer unable to continue speaking meme)
The Gallery user who stepped forward as the victim was Alster.
However, he looked perfectly fine in the image.
At the very least, he didn't look like someone who had fallen victim to demonic powers.
- Head Mod*) He's in great shape. Where exactly was he harmed?
All four limbs were intact, and he even had a massive build.
He looked less like a victim and more like someone who caused victims, though?
As if recalling that time, Alster spoke in a voice trembling with fear.
- Alster) I'm just an ordinary villager from a normal village with a fiancée!
“Wait, what? He really was a victim?”
Alster looked like an ordinary villager.
He had a fiancée and worked an ordinary job.
Just as I began wondering if I'd really gotten it wrong, Alster continued in a pained tone.
- Alster) They were peaceful days. But one day, a witch came to our village.
Then, at the moment our eyes met...
An unknowable desire and whispering from within made me fall into depravity...
Without realizing that the witch was casting a spell, I approached her!
When I came to my senses, I had given my body to that wicked woman... My body... Sob...
She took my virginity in a single night, and even my faithful heart was defiled...
It was all because of that witch's evil sorcery!
- Head Mod*) ?
“Fuck, so you're just saying you committed a crime.”
He was just an ordinary, insane rapist.
I turned my gaze to the live-coverage image.
There were the real victims, tied up all over and gazing at us through their tears.
They all seemed to have been branded witches for similar reasons.
“There's nothing more to see.”
Without another thought, I opened the system.
Then I entered Alster's Gallery log, dug through his old posts one by one, and left them in the comments.
- Head Mod*) Alster ← this bastard's old posts
[Private Post List]
Private / A week ago / A woman who moved here recently lol If the girl in the pic is fucking gorgeous, upvote lol
Private / Five days ago / I finally did it... Fuck, is my life over?
Private / Three days ago / Lol, nope. Life's for real~ Filing a witch report right away~
The Gallery user had posted anonymously, then fled into private mode when the incident grew bigger.
But there were facts the Gallery user didn't know.
“Where do you think you're going with that victim act?”
One was that posts uploaded to the Gallery remained instead of being deleted.
The other was...
ㄴ Head Mod*) You fucking bastard
ㄴ Alster) But it was private. How?
ㄴ Head Mod*) Why do you think I'm called Head Mod?
I could see private posts too.
[Would you like to ban this user?]
[Ban duration: Permanent]
I immediately pressed the on-the-spot ban button.
ㄴ (This user is permanently banned)
[You have permanently banned a troublemaker!]
[Points awarded: 203]
At the same time, the criminal disintegrated, leaving me only a small number of points.
ㄴ Holy shit...
ㄴ Wait, fuck, a permanent Gallery ban?
ㄴ Wow, I'm actually seeing this happen in person ㄷㄷ;
ㄴ So does that mean he can't use anything he's seen all this time?
ㄴ Wow, fuck;
ㄴ I'd rather die.
The Gallery users watching in person began whispering.
Naturally, the cardinal conducting the trial didn't get off unscathed either.
- Albert/Cardinal/Devout: T-this is slander! That woman really is a witch!
“Heh, he still hasn't come to his senses.”
The Head Mod's functions were truly varied.
One of them was the ability to modify other people's usernames however I pleased.
[Change the username ‘Albert/Cardinal/Devout’ → ‘Albert/Cardinal’?]
- Albert/Cardinal: What is this? What are you doing!
Thus, the cardinal underwent the first round of normalization.
But that wasn't the end of it.
- Ah, fuck; wait, it was a false accusation?
- So was I defending a rapist?
- Even if it's an event, attacking innocent people is a bit much.
- But what does “false accusation” mean that everyone's making such a fuss?
ㄴ You fucking murderer bastard
ㄴ Why are you suddenly swearing at me, you crazy bastard? I've never killed anyone, fuck123
ㄴ This is what false accusation means.
ㄴ Oh, I see. I understand now.
ㄴ LMAO, fuck
ㄴ An explanation even a child could understand lol
There had been countless eyes watching right then.
The people gathered at the scene immediately began to move.
“Well, you should die, right?”
What kind of world was the Middle Ages?
It was a world where one or two people dying was an everyday occurrence.
Vigilante justice was a long-standing problem-solving method beloved by commoners.
“Wait, wait!”
The witch-trial scene immediately turned into the scene of a reverse witch trial.
The cardinal was dragged down from his position after having his username changed in reality,
while Alster was immediately tied to a pillar by the people and vanished into the warm embrace of the flames.
But the fundamental problem hadn't been solved.
“Wait, this was an everyday thing?”
After realizing that witch hunts had been held like daily events until before the Great War, I felt the need to intervene.
“If it were merely a religious issue, maybe...”
But this was a matter of Gallery users' lives, and it had a major impact on me as well.
While wondering how I should intervene, I checked the notification that had arrived.
[Gallery Doctors' Group]
- Looking at the Gallery, everyone's completely lost it.
- They seem to need enlightenment.
- Saving people = people killing people themselves
They were the Gallery doctors who had served as my hands and feet since the Black Death, while I paid them salaries.
Was it because I'd given them various information posts and simple medical books?
They seemed relatively clear-headed.
One of them called out to me.
- Excellentdoc) Head Mod. Do you need our assistance?
- Excellentdoc) Barbarism replaced with violence
The Gallery user Excellentdoc, who held the overwhelming record for first place.
As I looked at the chat, an idea came to me.
*
[Title: To the Children Born by Mistake]
Author: Excellentdoc
(Gallery doctor flexing his muscles meme)
everyone, what other problem is there?
We save people
But people sometime kill people
Some uneducated, misguided children commit illegal murder?
so Mr. Head Mod, I have produced the following result
(Things to observe during a witch trial)
1. Hold it in the Gallery too during witch trials
2. At least one Gallery doctor must attend each witch trial
3. If the trial is misguided or there is a false accusation, turn it into a reverse witch trial
Of course, no need to promise
but you, replaced by permanent ban
[Recommendations5512] [Dislikes1]
- Haha; of course we have to follow it.
- Everything the Gallery doctor says is right...
- We'll definitely follow it... haha
- Of course. Who would violate it? Haha ^^;
- Excellentdoc) Good response received. But I have a complaint
ㄴ Huh?
ㄴ Excellentdoc) Did some result of not using a condom leave a dislike?
ㄴ Excellentdoc) Appear immediately. If you do not appear, you will kiss my fist.
ㄴ SorrySorrySorry
ㄴ It was really a mistake. I was trying to press recommend, but my finger slipped sideways and hit dislike. I absolutely wasn't trying to offend you, so please spare me.
ㄴ LOL, asking to be spared
ㄴ Spare me) I'm serious
There was one good solution.
Solve it with medieval physical force.
And luckily, I had a card in hand: the Gallery doctors, an armed group.
“Whew, did that take care of it?”
I thought this would quiet the witch hunts down to some extent.
Just as I was about to peacefully read through the Popular Posts again, a new notification arrived.
“The Gallery doctors?”
But unexpectedly, the notification had been sent by one of the victims of the witch trial.
PotionMasterGonnaBe!: Head Mod? Ahㅠㅠ You read it ㅠㅠ Thank you so much for saving me ㅠㅠ
“Ah, the Gallery user who was tied up back then.”
I felt proud.
After all, I'd saved one innocent person.
Head Mod*: Haha, no problem. Take care from now on. Tell me if anything unfair happens.
PotionMasterGonnaBe!: Thank you! Thank you so much!
Up to that point, everything was fine.
It was a heartwarming event in which I'd saved an unjustly accused victim.
But the next chat was the problem.
PotionMasterGonnaBe!: (Selfie avatar wearing a pointed hat, long ears, and a witch's outfit)
PotionMasterGonnaBe!: I actually am a witch, though ㅠㅠㅠ
“What?”
No, it really was a witch?
I was so stunned that I couldn't reply.
Regardless, Poma continued leaving messages, perhaps not expecting a reply.
PotionMasterGonnaBe!: Thanks to you, I survived like this and even got my revenge!
PotionMasterGonnaBe!: Thank you so much! You're the benefactor of all witches!! >o<
[‘PotionMasterGonnaBe!’ has left the chat room.]
Head Mod*: No, wait a second.
By the time I called out to the user, they had already left the room.
“No, right? It can't be, right?”
With a sinking feeling, I opened the Gallery.
[Title: Holy shit ㄷㄷ The Cardinal Was Murdered]
(Cardinal hanging in the street meme)
Fuck, this is scary as hell. What the fuck is going on?
- What the fuck is that in the street in broad daylight, what... what is it?
- His face has turned purple, and he's got extra arms and legs growing out of his body?
- Fuck, could he really have been attacked by a witch?
“Ah.”
A murder committed by a witch had occurred.