Chapter 79
Witches are dangerous.
Once a prejudice takes root, it does not disappear easily.
Even if the Head Mod was the one who gave it to them, their prejudice had not been washed away.
“Even if he is the Head Mod...”
“A witch's potion? What if it's cursed?”
If it was a witch, they killed her first and asked questions later.
Although witch trials had vanished overnight after the Head Mod's intervention.
That long history had not simply disappeared.
Above all, the anesthetic had played a part.
- To die and come back to life...
- Isn't this going against the laws of nature...?
- Hmm... I don't really know.
The Gallery was divided in its opinions as well.
A body bestowed by the heavens loses all control and lies limp as though dead.
And then it wakes up as if coming back to life.
Skeptics began to wonder whether a curse had been planted in its soul.
- Aren't rifts appearing a perfectly reasonable thing, too?
- Yeah~ Try living your whole life with it cut off, then laugh with both legs intact until you die~
- Please boycott it. I'll buy everything.
- You'll buy it if they list it on the marketplace anyway lol
ㄴ Highly recommend lol
ㄴ You think you can resist buying it?
ㄴ (This is a commoner giving it high praise meme)
The “Who cares?” camp emerged.
“There wasn't even a concept of healing here to begin with.”
Just a few months ago, humans were taking milk showers for their wounds.
Naturally, everyone was interested in this medical revolution.
Now all that remained was to prove it.
To prove it by watching that boy Gallery user confidently get up and browse the Gallery with all four limbs intact.
All I had to do was prove it.
- Supreme Storm Mage: Oh, fuck
ㄴ ?
ㄴ What is it?
ㄴ Supreme Storm Mage: The kid isn't breathing lol;
ㄴ ?????
ㄴ What?
ㄴ (Elf clutching its head pottery emote)
“Oh.”
And before I could even finish thinking, a crisis arrived.
*
The boy looked like he was about to stop breathing at any moment.
But he really did stop breathing.
- What the hell?
- Wasn't this supposed to be the part where he came back to life?
- (Ah... ah... emote)
“Ah, fuck. I raised the wrong flag.”
I had needlessly built things up by talking about proving it, and now the boy was on the verge of death.
But there was no need to worry.
Jipokma, who had been greatly flustered, soon placed both hands on the boy as though nothing had happened.
It was at that moment.
(Gif of him starting to breathe again)
Amazingly, he started breathing again.
The full-body anesthetic had suppressed even his respiratory system, making his breathing temporarily shallow.
“Of course it would, when he was practically dying.”
Even a perfectly healthy person could look like a corpse after receiving full-body anesthesia.
That was why, while searching for an anesthetic, I had recruited a skilled mage through an announcement post.
Not some attack-oriented mage who had put all his points into offense, but a mage with all sorts of miscellaneous knowledge.
For example, a mage like Jipokma of the Scarlet Mage Tower.
Supreme Storm Mage: I'm breathing air into him as instructed.
Supreme Storm Mage: Will this really work?
Head Mod*: Yeah, you're the most important person here right now.
He had effectively become a human ventilator.
Once I had gotten his breathing working normally, I immediately moved on to the next step.
I began pouring the large amount of healing potions I had prepared over the boy's body.
Of course, I couldn't expect much from lower-grade potions...
“If the treatment isn't working, let's consider whether there simply aren't enough potions.”
I poured them over him until he was practically taking a potion shower.
Then, as if by magic, the wounds covering his battered body began to heal.
(Gif of split skin rapidly sealing itself)
(Gif of a severed leg returning to normal)
- This feels like watching a miracle.
- This is seriously fucking amazing.
- This feels like watching a human being created.
- Call him and make him talk.
ㄴ We need to check whether he's actually the same person as that boy.
ㄴ You son of a bitch lol
ㄴ ? Why are you suddenly cursing?
ㄴ I called you to check whether you were the same person as me lol
“Even I have to admit, this is amazing.”
As if someone had rewound a video, the split and severed skin began returning to normal.
He began to look perfectly fine, as though he had been reborn.
Several hours later.
“Uh, ugh...?”
The boy slowly opened his eyes and began looking around as though nothing had happened.
- Wow, legendary.
- What did I just witness?
- Damn, is it you again, Head Mod? I will never doubt you again...
- I saved screenshots of every Gallery user who doubted him lol
“It's a good thing the mage could function as a human ventilator.”
If he hadn't possessed such magic, the boy might have died without a chance.
Feeling relieved that things had worked out, I went to find Jipokma first.
After all, he had been the first mage to step forward and offer to help me.
“He was the one who made my statue, too, right?”
Of course, making a statue of a half-elf beauty and putting it at the entrance of the mage tower while claiming it was me was a little irritating.
But credit where credit was due.
Head Mod*: We saved him thanks to you. Nice.
Supreme Storm Mage: Oh, no, not at all haha; you did everything, Head Mod.
Head Mod*: So, I'd like to grant you a request.
So I decided to give him a reward.
“Well, if I dig through the marketplace, I can find pretty much anything.”
Apart from witches, no field of study required as many materials as magic.
So the moment I said I would give him a reward, Jipokma sent back a reply.
Supreme Storm Mage: Holy shit, really???
Head Mod*: Yeah, as long as it isn't excessive.
“You seem to be researching golems lately, so I could get you some stone, too.”
The marketplace even sold stone.
There was an abundance of stonework, shaped and polished in every size and form.
So I asked him, thinking I ought to grant him pretty much anything.
Supreme Storm Mage: Then please make me the Master of the Mage Tower!!!
He immediately made an excessive demand.
*
By serving as Head Mod, I had gained the ability to manage the Gallery.
Maybe that was why people saw me as some incredible being who could create something from nothing.
“I'm just an ordinary person who knows absolutely nothing about mana.”
Before I was possessed, I had been a legendary Gallery addict who spent every moment in front of a computer.
And after I was possessed, I became a legendary Gallery addict who spent every moment lying in bed and browsing the Gallery.
“I do have principles, though?”
Put kindly, that was true; put negatively, I was hopelessly obsessed.
And someone like me was supposed to be a great archmage?
Head Mod*: I wish I could use something like a fireball, too, fuck.
If I really could, I would record it immediately and get it featured on the Gallery.
But unfortunately, I had no such ability.
Supreme Storm Mage: Your joke is a bit much lol.
Head Mod*: Fuck.
Head Mod*: Ask for something other than becoming Master of the Mage Tower.
Why not ask for something like mana stones, or a household appliance he had been unable to buy during the limited sale?
But the well-liked user Jipokma wanted only one thing.
Supreme Storm Mage: Then please become my master!
Head Mod*: Something else.
Supreme Storm Mage: Then please enlighten me as to the principles of this world!
“What the hell is wrong with this guy?”
Head Mod*: I'm not a mage. I told you, I don't even have mana.
Supreme Storm Mage: Haha.
There was simply no getting through to him.
Even if he asked me for magical enlightenment, I obviously had nothing I could give him.
How could I give him something that didn't exist in the first place?
Supreme Storm Mage: The time isn't right yet.
Supreme Storm Mage: In that case, I will gratefully accept anything you give me!
“Even then, I still can't make you Master of the Mage Tower.”
In the end, we settled on me choosing a gift for him myself.
The problem was that I had no idea what to give him.
Besides, time had passed, and the evening marketplace opening was fast approaching.
- Just wait one hour and the marketplace will appear!
- The real marketplace never gets old, no matter how many times we wait for it lol
- New product announcement incoming.
- Everyone gathering to wait an hour early wwww These guys are practically the Head Mod's Pavlov's dogs www
“Ah, I didn't prepare any new products.”
The problem was that, apart from new products, I hadn't even restocked the marketplace's regular inventory.
Besides, every race, person, and personality wanted something different, so deciding what to stock was not easy.
- You're putting spicy tuna up this time, right?
ㄴ What are you talking about, shitty tuna? This time it's vegetable tuna's turn, yeah.
ㄴ What are you talking about, vegetable tuna? Are you an elf?
ㄴ (Elf thumbs-up emote)
ㄴ As expected, the Elven Emperor is the king of shitposting.
ㄴ The Elven Emperor really is a fucking idiot.
ㄴ You hateful humans want to die? Just because someone posts an elf thumbs-up emote, that makes them an elf?
“Ah, this is such a hassle.”
No matter how well I arranged things, complaints were inevitable.
Besides, no matter how cheap the marketplace was, not everyone could afford things like household appliances.
- Fuck... There are still some left, but I can't buy one...
ㄴ For real, I'm the only one without a refrigerator!
- There are so many things I want to buy, fuck;
ㄴ For real, I can't buy anything...
ㄴ But honestly, we should be grateful just not to be starving.
ㄴ For real, the human heart is so fickle.
ㄴ Wow lol, he feeds them and does everything for them, and they're still whining lol
Poverty is relative.
They were no longer starving, but having to merely admire the modern goods pouring out of the marketplace, it was understandable that they felt disappointed.
Most of the public criticized them for being spoiled, but I felt differently.
“It's understandable.”
I would want to buy them, too, if I were in their shoes.
But if I couldn't buy something no matter how hard I tried, I thought the sense of loss would grow more than my motivation.
Still, I couldn't give everything away for free.
“Hmm, could that be it?”
I thought of one solution.
A way to increase participation and anticipation.
A ridiculously scammy sales method that I had no intention of using, but that was easy to rig just enough and highly profitable!
[A new feature has been added to the marketplace!]
[Random Boxes / Gacha]
“All right~ Let's go.”
It was a random gacha draw.
*
[Title: LOL, Did the Refrigerator Drop?]
(Commoner frog emote smiling awkwardly)
Caught you coming in just to curse out of jealousy lol
Yep, I can't buy one either~
I'll never be able to buy one either~
What refrigerator could people in our situation possibly need? Scoop up some tuna cans before they run out lol
[Recommendations5123] [Dislikes102]
- Ah lol...
- Where do you live?
- Maybe I'll be able to buy one someday?
ㄴ Wake up from that dream, Gallery user...
- Seriously, lower the price, fuck. Let me buy one and use it too, yeah?
ㄴ Wow, what a guy.
ㄴ I've never seen such a thief's mentality.
ㄴ The Head Mod's greatest achievement: Bringing even people who were going to die back to life.
ㄴ The Head Mod's greatest mistake: Bringing this guy back to life, too.
There were two festivals every day.
One was the morning marketplace opening.
The second was the evening marketplace opening.
Each time, the hot topic was envy and bragging posts about the expensive products.
[Title: LOL, I bought shampoo in bulk!]
(Elf image meme sitting in a tree)
I am an elf affiliated with Elladrien.
[Recommendations102] [Dislikes1423]
- As expected, boasting is an elf thing.
- Elves really are fucking assholes.
- I'll really bite those ears off.
- No, anyone can see he's a spy. How is that an elven way of speaking?
Each time, there was no choice but to envy and resent them.
No matter how much better off they had become, there were things an ordinary commoner could never afford even after saving for an entire lifetime.
But then a new feature was added to the marketplace.
[Ice Purifier Refrigerator Draw]new!
1 draw: 10 coins
10 consecutive draws: 90 coins
- Huh, what is this?
- New refrigerator draw ← What is this?
- Is this the time to go all in?
A draw tab now boldly occupied a spot above the categories.
Naturally, just as the Gallery users' attention was concentrating on it, one Gallery user started drawing.
[‘LifeTurnaroundIsOneShot’ attempted 10 draws!]
- Oh?
- Wow, he dropped 90 coins all at once.
- I'm fucking curious what will come out.
- I'll wait and see, then I'll spend too.
The gacha began in front of tens of thousands of spectators.
And, true to the nature of gacha, the miserable results began.
- Miss!
- Miss!
- 1 can of tuna
- Miss!
- 1 case of Cola 355
.
.
- LOL, he got absolutely wrecked lol
- As long as it's not me~~~~
- (Elf yeah~ emote)
- He's sacrificing himself like this just to provide us with dopamine...
It was at that moment.
[WINNER!]
[‘LifeTurnaroundIsOneShot’ has won an Ice Purifier Refrigerator!]
[9 remaining]
- What?
- No, fuck!
- This isn't right! It's unfair, you bastard!!!
- Admin! Admin! This guy's scamming us!!@!
A fanfare burst into every Gallery user's ears.
At the same time, the refrigerator that could not be purchased even with money was truly awarded to the winner.
- LifeTurnaroundIsOneShot: Woooo!
Ho!!!!!
Woo!!!!!
one two three four five...
sax!!!!!
The Gallery-wide gacha fever began alongside the well-liked user LifeTurnaround's spectacular shitshow.