Chapter 84
It was the ultimate drink.
Like an oasis in the desert, it brought overwhelming happiness, along with a thrilling shiver running through my entire body.
‘I thought cola was the best.’
Even cola and coffee couldn't compare to this.
The hand gripping my shoulder tightened, pinning down the struggling body.
Her eyes went unfocused, drenched in ecstasy.
“Ahh!”
It was the moment she threw her head back and opened her eyes wide at the satisfaction flooding over her.
“Ah.”
Her senses returned.
The finest blood had been supplied to her blood-starved body, and she had regained her reason.
Only after Erzebet belatedly turned her head and checked her surroundings did she realize it.
She had climbed on top of the pale man and forcibly sunk her teeth into his shoulder.
Erzebet instinctively knew who he was.
“Head Mod?”
He was the Gallery's administrator, the Head Mod.
*
I had been sucked dry.
No joke—I had really been sucked dry.
[Title: Upvote if You Almost Got Mummified lol]
Author: Head Mod*
Me first, obviously.
‘If I make a post, it'll hit the featured page, right?’
The thought of trying to make a post naturally flitted through my mind.
Of course, there was no chance it would hit the featured page.
They'd just tell me to go eat and downvote me.
The fact that I was having such strange thoughts meant I was apparently still alive.
‘Fortunately, I didn't become a vampire, either.’
It seemed getting sucked dry by a vampire didn't automatically turn you into one here.
As I trembled, haggard from having so much blood sucked out of me, a clear voice reached my ears.
“...Sorry.”
When I turned my gaze, I saw a languid vampire sitting on an enormous throne that didn't fit her body.
Her huddled, deeply cowed appearance was striking; apparently, she did feel guilty.
“It's just... I hadn't drunk blood in so long that I must have lost control.”
She explained in a shrinking voice, as if making excuses.
To sum it up, both her going silent until now and her losing control and sucking my blood had been caused by malnutrition.
“No, why?”
Naturally, I was curious.
Why couldn't she drink blood when she was the progenitor of vampires?
“Blood tastes bad...”
But it turned out to be a surprisingly normal reason.
“It's fishy, bitter... sticky... and unhygienic. Do you know what's in blood?”
“No, you're a vampire.”
“Hmph, that's prejudice.”
Erzebet, or Vampire to the Bitter End—the blue mod who hated blood—had sought a solution elsewhere.
Namely, cola and coffee, which were a similar enough color and vastly superior in taste.
As if to prove it, the refrigerator I had sent her was packed wall-to-wall with cola and coffee cans.
But even that had its limits.
In the end, she had become malnourished.
“But why my blood?”
“The Head Mod's blood is different. I really didn't want to say this, but...”
Erzebet bent at the waist and whispered to me as if sharing something important.
“Head Mod blood tastes better than cola.”
Was that supposed to be a compliment?
Just as I was thinking that coming here had been a mistake, I decided to ask what I had been curious about while I had the chance.
“But how did you know where I was?”
The horn the Healthy Goddess had given me hadn't allowed even a single attempt to track my location until now.
It had even shrugged off the magical artifacts of great nations like the elves and Adrian.
And the horn was still doing its job.
“I didn't know where you were.”
“Then how did you open the portal?”
“It's like an invitation. I sent it to the Head Mod, but whether you came in was entirely up to you.”
“What kind of—”
“There's blood magic like that.”
Erzebet opened a thick book left abandoned in a corner and showed me its table of contents.
[Advanced Vampire Blood Magic Grimoire]
It contained all sorts of bizarre magic that only vampires could use.
1. Random Teleportation Magic
2. Bat Transformation Magic (Random Bat Species)
3. Mistification Magic (Random Dispel Time)
4. Transform into a Pool of Blood (You must hold your breath. Beware of drowning.)
“Wow.”
The problem was that every one of them seemed defective in some way.
Among them, I found the magic Erzebet had used to find me.
444. Invitation Magic (Creates a portal at the current location of the intended recipient; cannot cross over)
“Amazing, right?”
I looked at Erzebet, who spoke proudly, as if boasting.
“Now send me back.”
My life wasn't in danger, and now that I had drunk blood, there was no reason for me to stay here.
I didn't know when Erzebet might turn on me again.
So I spoke first to get ahead of things, and surprisingly, she nodded obediently.
“Okay.”
“Oh?”
She was giving permission more easily than I'd expected.
When I looked at Erzebet, thinking things had gone well, she was staring right back at me.
Blink, blink.
About a minute passed without much changing.
I slowly rolled my eyes and said,
“The portal?”
“Of course I'll make one for you. But...”
Wait, Erzebet's expression looked strange.
As she tilted her head to one side, the focus was slowly fading from her eyes.
“Do you really have to leave right now?”
“Come on, man.”
“Let's stay together a little longer. There are lots of rooms prepared for guests here. About 312.”
“My cozy home is still the best.”
“Okay. Then let's stay together for exactly one hundred years.”
This blue mod was completely out of her mind.
Her eyes were hazy and her skin oddly flushed, giving her the air of someone unwilling to miss out on something delicious.
By the time I came to my senses, Erzebet had closed the distance in an instant and was gripping my shoulder.
‘If she sucks my blood this time, I'm really going to die.’
I instinctively grabbed her shoulder and pushed her away.
No, I tried to push her away, but she didn't budge; she was unbelievably strong for someone of that build.
-Lick
Instead, she tilted her head at an angle and licked the back of my hand as if tasting it.
Goosebumps rose all over my body.
“No, I don't want this! No! Don't!”
“Heehee... Stay still... I'll suck your blood gently.”
She's not even trying to hide it anymore, is she?
Her deathly pale skin had turned red before I knew it.
There was no way I could escape like this.
And if I couldn't refuse to give her my blood, there was only one solution left.
“I'll draw it for you instead.”
“Huh?”
“I won't run away, so wait just a little. If you really don't trust me, watch me from a distance.”
I would draw my own blood in a reasonable amount.
If those fangs sank into my shoulder again, she'd really drain me down to the last drop.
Erzebet stared down at me for a long time as if debating, then reluctantly backed away.
“Okay. I'll wait.”
Fortunately, perhaps she still had some reason left, she returned to the enormous throne and sat there at an angle.
“But I don't think I can wait long. Please hurry.”
“S-sob.”
I had no other choice.
Until I found another way, drawing my own blood was my only option...
[Marketplace/Medical Supplies]
[Blood-Draw Kit] - 33p
I bought a blood-drawing kit from the marketplace.
Back when I was an internet ghost, I had watched a short video of a foreign doctor drawing his own blood; who knew that would come in handy?
“Tsk...”
As I hesitated, I heard the sound of someone swallowing hard from far away.
When I looked up, I found her staring intently at me from the throne, where she lay half-sideways.
I tightly tied my wrist with the rubber band and inserted the needle into my wrist as instructed by the blood-drawing kit.
It didn't hurt that much.
I was able to draw my blood more easily than I'd expected.
“Would the Rabbit Hole have been better?”
I even had that thought for a moment.
But thinking about it again, no, it wouldn't have been.
Whether there or here, all I could picture was a future where I'd be drained dry and mummified, albeit for different reasons.
I brought half of the blood I'd drawn to Erzebet.
“Here.”
“Ahh, finally!”
It was a very small amount since it was my first blood draw, but apparently it was enough.
Erzebet stamped her feet excitedly and accepted the tube I handed her.
Then, taking it with extreme care so as not to spill any, she dipped her tongue in and lapped it up like a cat.
“Ah... It's the best. It's insanely delicious.”
Erzebet squeezed her eyes shut and wore a blissful expression, apparently satisfied again.
“Good. Then could you open the portal now?”
“It's so delicious I can't even think straight.”
“The portal, please...”
“It tastes so good I want to kidnap you and keep you with me forever in this old castle.”
I still had to go home and read all the featured posts I'd missed.
By then, she had already finished drinking half of what I had given her and looked up at me with sparkling eyes like a cat.
“Head Mod, do you perhaps have any of that thing you gave me last time?”
“What thing...?”
“The fruit coated in sugar... Tanghulu! Yes, I think it was called tanghulu.”
Erzebet was a blue mod who had originally gone crazy for sweets more than blood.
Last time, I'd casually handed tanghulu only to the blue mods, but why was she suddenly asking for it?
After thinking it over, I took out the tanghulu that had once been popular on the marketplace and handed it to her.
“But what are you going to do with that?”
Had she simply developed a sudden craving for something sweet?
Just then, Erzebet opened the tube containing the remaining half of the blood and carefully poured it over the tanghulu.
“It's done... the ultimate vampire snack!”
The sticky red blood was added on top of the delicious-looking tanghulu like a topping.
“The ultimate vampire snack?”
“Blood tanghulu.”
I was left speechless.
*
I lay in bed and read through all the featured posts I hadn't been able to see.
It was a life with nothing to envy.
Food overflowing, a bed soft as a cloud, and no reason to be rushed by time or work—it was a leisurely life.
“What are you looking at? Let's look together.”
I would have been perfectly satisfied if not for the kidnapper clinging to my side and staring fixedly at my neck.
Three days had already passed.
It had been three nights since I was trapped in the ruined castle and unable to return home.
I stopped browsing the Gallery and turned my head.
There, Erzebet, her long silver hair disheveled, was staring up at me.
“Can't you send me back soon?”
That's right. I had been captured and imprisoned by a beautiful, silver-haired, red-eyed vampire blue mod.
But for a kidnapper, Erzebet was incredibly kind to me.
She did everything she could to accommodate me and promptly brought me whatever I said I needed.
“No, I can't.”
Except when I asked her to send me back.
In the end, it was difficult to hold out hope that Erzebet would open the portal for me.
I would have to diligently find an escape route out of this ruined castle on my own.
Unfortunately, with Erzebet stuck by my side for the time being, I had no choice but to remain trapped here.
- Head Mod, update the marketplace!!!
- (Frog emote slashing at the sky while sobbing)
- It's been three minutes since marketplace refresh time; we're all gonna die!!!!
Before I knew it, the Gallery was nearing the time to list the marketplace items.
So, with no other choice, I at least finished the marketplace refresh first.
- Kyaa~
- He knows how to save a dying situation lol
- All right, let's go check out the food category~
As soon as I opened the marketplace, Gallery users poured into it as if nothing had happened.
It seemed to be proceeding peacefully, until—
- Uh, fuck, where did it all go?
- Is it a bug?
- Head Mod, all the food items are sold out.
- (Elf emote tilting its head)
Every item sold out as soon as it was listed.
“No, what is with that speed?”
It wasn't unusual for a few items to sell out occasionally, but the entire food category? That was rare.
- Come to think of it, wasn't it like this last time too?
ㄴ Yeah, it was like this all day yesterday too.
ㄴ Fuck, for days now I haven't even been able to browse food on the marketplace, let alone canned tuna.
ㄴ Isn't this scalping?
ㄴ After the Head Mod warned the scalpers, they were almost completely wiped out, so it's not scalping, yeah.;
The problem was that this had been going on for days.
- Is this hoarding?
- Seems like the dwarves are behind this?
ㄴ Yeah, judging by the posts and memes the dwarves uploaded, it seems so.
ㄴ But why are they buying food and weapons in bulk?
ㄴ No way.
ㄴ Holy shit.
Apparently, the dwarves were preparing for war.