Chapter 94
[Featured Post: Yikes Yikes, Outskirts Village Under Attack...jpg]
(An image of a human torso and limbs attached to a giant fish body)
(An image of fishmen storming into the village square)
(An image of a fishman chasing someone through a shaking, blurry view)
That fucker runs fucking fast.
Can't take questions, gotta run.
[Recommended 5123] [Not Recommended 94]
- (Startled elf emote)
- What the hell kind of monster is that?
- Its body is pointlessly wet, which makes it even more disgusting, fuck;
- At this point, shouldn't it be called Fuck Fuck instead of Yikes Yikes?
Monsters had attacked a village.
At a glance, this was nothing unusual for the otherworld.
The problem was that this was the first incident involving monsters that had emerged from the water.
- There weren't any monsters like these even during the Great War.
- I guess they're spitting out every kind of monster imaginable now, just to force an invasion through somehow.
- Aren't those low-level monsters?
ㄴ They're low-level, but you can't deal with them, fuck.
Fishmen were treated as low-level monsters no different from zombies.
They were incredibly stupid and aggressive, but their physical strength and defense were no different from those of ordinary people.
They were low-level monsters that even an ordinary villager could beat to death with a decent fight.
The problem was that the rift they could deal with had formed beneath the water.
[Title: Recent News from the Outskirts Village...jpg]
I'm leaving an additional post since there were Gallery users who were curious.
(An image of the village interior, devastated and filled with the smell of fish)
(An image of the villagers arguing with the soldiers who had been dispatched)
As you can see, we're fucked, yep.
They caught and killed all the fishmen, but there was no response to the ruined village or the rift, lol.
So now the village aunties are grabbing the soldiers by the collars and yelling at them to do something, lol.
If you're going to take our taxes, at least work for them, lol.
But the soldiers are pretty damn pitiful too.
(An image of the rift visible at the bottom of the pond)
How the hell are they supposed to get in there?
They'd go in wearing armor and come back out with their species changed to fishmen, lol.
Anyway, I have to save the beastfolk pictures on the featured page, so I'm out. Bye-bye.
- Why is this bastard so positive?
- Even looking at the image, the fish smell is horrifying.
- But what do we do if the fishmen come back up?
ㄴ We play tag again.
ㄴ Author) Ah, lol.
ㄴ (An image of a screaming elf)
The investigation revealed that the rift had not appeared overnight.
It had formed beneath the pond long ago, but no one had properly recognized it until it burst open.
“But why isn't the water going down?”
If it had at least sucked up all the water, they could have dealt with it, but the rift remained quietly submerged below.
That made it even more troublesome.
It was no different from having a time bomb in the village pond that could go off again at any moment.
Besides, there was a separate, genuinely serious problem.
- Where the fuck did all the fish go?
- The fish in our village pond disappeared?
ㄴ (An image of a grotesque-looking fishman)
ㄴ This is your fish.
ㄴ What the fuck? Give it back!
The fish in the water swam near the portal and were sucked inside.
Then, when a wave broke out some time later, they returned in the form of fishmen.
This also led to financial problems.
- Where did my livelihood go?
ㄴ (A close-up image of a fishman)
ㄴ (An image of a fishman with hairy legs)
The fishermen's livelihoods were thrown into crisis.
They could no longer sell fish, which naturally dealt a blow to their livelihoods.
- What the hell are the knights doing while eating our taxes!!!
ㄴ Go down there and catch some fishmen already!
ㄴ What the fuck are you talking about?
ㄴ Seriously, do you expect them to dive underwater wearing iron armor?
- Seems like the mages have to solve this?
- Agreed. With magic, couldn't they do something, whether it's electrocuting them or causing an underwater explosion?
Most importantly, a rift had formed underwater.
That immediately raised the fear that one could appear anywhere water had pooled.
But knights couldn't solve it, so expectations grew that the mages would deal with it.
But the problem was much the same.
[Title: Fuck Fuck, the Reality of Nasty Complaints Against a Junior Mage from the Mage Tower...jpg]
(An image of someone being grabbed by the collar in a village where they were dispatched)
(An image of village elders protesting while spitting everywhere)
I was unemployed until my mid-thirties, then finally got hired as an apprentice at the Mage Tower, yep.
But suddenly, complaints about fishmen start pouring in?
So even though I'm only an apprentice, I was dispatched here for now, but I have no idea what I'm supposed to do.
I've been calmly explaining it for a while, but they keep repeating, “Can't you just use lightning?” like a broken record.
Fuck, if I knew lightning magic, do you think I'd be working as a Mage Tower apprentice?
And who even learns lightning magic these days?
It's bad enough that the only magic I can use is a one-trick fireball, but this is so fucked I really want to quit. Fuck fuck;
- Being a mage is a hell of a job too, lol.
- Just watching those people protest with the veins in their necks bulging is pissing me off, lol.
- Head Mod*) I'm jealous you can use Fireball.
ㄴ Author) ?
ㄴ ??
ㄴ You're an archmage, so stop humblebragging.
Magic was broadly divided into two branches: combat magic and noncombat magic.
Among combat magic alone, there were countless types if you counted fire, water, earth, lightning, and everything else.
Lightning magic in particular belonged to the high-level magic category, at advanced rank or above.
So telling an apprentice mage to shout “One million volts!” wouldn't change a thing.
- Seriously, who learns lightning magic?
ㄴ Fuck, it's hard enough to painstakingly learn the standard fire magic everyone knows. Why would I learn lightning?
ㄴ Seriously, what kind of idiot would do that?
ㄴ Lightning magic has so few teachers and books. Who would learn it?
ㄴ Is there really anyone like that?
ㄴ Supreme Storm Mage) ^^ㅣ발들아
Fortunately, there was one such person.
An off-meta lightning mage.
He was even skilled enough to have built a Mage Tower.
“Right, then, can the Lightning Mage handle it?”
It comes crawling out of the water?
If you released electricity into the water, it would become grilled fish before it could crawl outside.
I thought it would be solved more simply than expected, but reality wasn't so easy.
[Title: Tried It Anyway, Yep]
Author:Supreme Storm Mage
Don't get your hopes up.
(An image of someone approaching the problematic pond)
(An image of someone standing with both arms spread while staring at the sky for a long time)
- ?
- What are you doing?
- Use lightning already.
ㄴ Seriously, why did he suddenly start worshiping the sky?
ㄴ Supreme Storm Mage) Fuck, don't talk to me. I'm casting.
ㄴ ???
As befitted a high-level spell, it took a long time to prepare.
Even after staring at the sky for a long time and gathering mana, there was still a problem.
(An image of a massive bolt of lightning striking the ground)
(An image of a tree burning up with an enormous boom)
- No.
- Dude, the pond is right in front of you.
ㄴ Supreme Storm Mage) Too bad, lol.
ㄴ ???
ㄴ No way...
ㄴ Supreme Storm Mage) What the fuck, are you mocking me for being a pathetic lightning mage who spent ages casting a spell, only to have no control over where it landed and be forced to rely on the prayer meta? You sure you want to say that?
ㄴ No, nobody said anything.
ㄴ Lol, the level of lightning mages.
ㄴ Supreme Storm Mage) What did you say?
“No.”
The spell's impact point was completely impossible to adjust.
“So it could fall right on top of his own head?”
Besides, the Lightning Mage collapsed from exhaustion after using an excessive amount of mana.
It was truly a problem-child spell.
“It'll be hard to rely on the mages.”
But it was too soon to give up.
Fortunately, before I was possessed, the modern world had galleries covering countless subjects.
I had browsed practically every kind of Gallery and knew all sorts of useless information.
“There was a fishing Gallery too.”
And the fishing Gallery had one insane bait post that was passed down as a legend.
It disappeared under a barrage of downvotes and reports as soon as it was uploaded, but as a Gallery ghost, I had seen it thoroughly.
[Fishing Gallery]
[Title: Still Lots of Float-Fishing Losers? lol]
(A video of fish being stunned with electricity)
(An image of fish being swept into a boat through battery fishing)
I'm fishing comfortably with battery fishing~
[Recommended 1] [Not Recommended 141]
- You fucking idiot.
- That's illegal, you crazy bastard.
- What the fuck is this bastard doing? Mods!!!
ㄴ Isn't this something you report to the authorities for instead of banning him?
“Thank you, Mr. Shit-Stirrer...”
It was a video about battery fishing, a fishing method prohibited in Korea.
*
I had seen a video of something called battery fishing before.
It was a post that vanished almost immediately after being bombarded with downvotes and reports, but as a Gallery ghost, I ended up seeing it.
When the uploader touched a school of fish with something like a rod, the fish floated up in droves.
All the person filming did was scoop them up with a landing net.
“That's cheating.”
It was a fishing method on the level of an admin's cheat map.
It was banned in Korea because of the serious risks of water pollution and ecological destruction.
But this was another world.
It was a place where fists and survival were closer at hand than the law.
“Fishmen, get ready.”
There was no such thing as an approved fishing method.
[Lead-Acid Battery] - 70p
[All-in-One Pole] - 50p
I bought a high-voltage battery for battery fishing from the marketplace.
“They normally seem to use something like a car battery...”
But fish the size of people were swimming around here.
So I bought a replacement high-voltage battery rated in the tens, even hundreds.
Finally, all I had to do was prepare a pole to connect the battery to.
After buying everything, I went to find the Lightning Mage, who was at the problematic pond.
- Supreme Storm Mage) Fuck, so what the hell is your rank?
ㄴ Asking about ranks~ lol, idiot.
ㄴ As a lightning mage, you're completely useless, aren't you? lol
ㄴ Supreme Storm Mage) Even so, some low-to-mid-tier fire mage bastard is pissing me the fuck off.
ㄴ Here comes another lightning joke, lol.
ㄴ Supreme Storm Mage) Fuck.
“They're still fighting?”
The Lightning Mage was still engaged in a heated debate with the fire mage Gallery user.
[‘Lead-Acid Battery’, ‘All-in-One Pole’ have been delivered to Supreme Storm Mage!]
- Supreme Storm Mage) ?
ㄴ Head Mod*) Hi.
ㄴ Holy shit, it's the Head Mod.
ㄴ Supreme Storm Mage) Gasp, Mage Tower Master.
ㄴ Head Mod*) Why am I your Mage Tower Master?
ㄴ Head Mod*) Anyway, I put a manual in with the things I sent, so give them a try.
There was no need to explain what a battery was.
I had given Fron a generator before, so he seemed to have a rough idea.
- Supreme Storm Mage) So this is the legendary lightning magic condenser you bestowed upon the Fron region... Wow.
ㄴ Wow, fuck, you actually got one of those?
ㄴ I'm insanely jealous, you lightning bastard.
ㄴ Head Mod*) It's different from that, but it's roughly similar.
“I'm actually a humanities guy, so I don't know much.”
Lightning Mage was like Lu Bu in the Gallery, yet strangely loyal to me as a likable regular.
Lightning Mage quickly went to the pond and made a post.
[Title: Lol, You Illegal Bastards Don't Have This, Do You?]
Author: Supreme Storm Mage
(An image of him grinning and giving a thumbs-up beside the lead-acid battery)
(An image of a fishman hiding at the bottom of the pond)
So this thing contains the Head Mod's archmage magic, right? Hahahaha.
I feel like I've just become an archmage, and anyway, my heart is beating so fucking fast, hahahaha.
Thank you, Head Mod.
I'll try it right now.
[Recommended 0] [Not Recommended 51]
- Fucking flexer.
- (An image of a cat in a pointed hat sobbing)
ㄴ Head Mod, why do you only favor the lightning mage?!
ㄴ Give me portable archmage magic too!!!
About three minutes after the excited Lightning Mage left the post,
[Title: Fuck, What Is This?]
Author: Supreme Storm Mage
Before long, a bewildered-looking post appeared in the Gallery.