Chapter 97
Medieval people never had the chance to see a whale.
Even if there were witnesses, it was merely a creature passed down through legend.
Only a tiny minority believed they existed.
So I showed up in person.
- Aaaagh, fuck
- Holy shit, what is that?
- Wh-what? Why is that thing so huge??
A whale fishman had appeared in Elrad.
A whale that looked to be at least 10 meters long.
“It isn't that big, is it?”
But considering the species of whale, 10 meters wasn't really all that large.
The problem was the two limbs attached to the whale.
[Title: Head Mod, Heaaad Mod!!!]
Author: Full-HP Elf
(A GIF of a whale fishman running on two legs)
(A GIF of the Elrad forest being destroyed)
(A cropped GIF of Full-HP Elf panting from running, sweat beading on their neck)
H-help me!
- Oh
- Hehe.
- Hehe, Sub-Mod, want me to help?
ㄴ Full-HP Elf) You bastards!! I remember all of you! I'll ban you later!!!
ㄴ Gasp
ㄴ Go, whale fishman!
ㄴ Whale or whatever you are, you can do it!
Thanks to its limbs, it was even bigger.
It was grotesque beyond mere strangeness.
Honestly, that was scarier than something that looked horrible or gruesome.
“That's a real monster.”
But in the end, a whale was still just another fishman.
It was only big; ultimately, it was weak.
In fact, the elves' arrows were embedding themselves in its body one after another.
- Full-HP Elf) It works!
- Full-HP Elf) Shoot more! Shoot like crazy!
No matter how tough a whale's skin was, it wasn't tough enough to withstand the bows drawn by the elves.
- But if we catch that thing, how are we supposed to clean up afterward?
ㄴ Huh?
ㄴ Ah.
ㄴ Full-HP Elf) Don't shoot! Don't shoot, I said! Stop!
The problem was what to do after catching it.
Supposing they managed to catch the whale fishman, how were they going to dispose of the corpse?
What if they couldn't make up their minds and left the corpse lying there?
Whale Fishman) That's a little hurtful, leaving me here.
ㄴ ?
ㄴ Whale Fishman) I'll turn into toxic TNT.
Its belly would bloat right there, turning it into a time bomb.
“What if a whale carcass exploded in the middle of the forest?”
The stink of rot would fill the forest, and the blood would contaminate the trees.
It was absolutely nothing to take lightly.
And was whale meat even tasty? Not particularly.
Fishman meat had been treated as food you ate for quantity, not flavor, from the start.
[Title: My Review of Eating Fishmen...jpg]
.....
Don't eat them..... I'm serious.....
[Recommended 5123] [Not Recommended 102]
- Why?
ㄴ Just don't eat it, you fucking asshole.
- Honestly, it isn't exactly bad... lol;
ㄴ There's a marketplace, so why bother?
ㄴ If you're genuinely a poor Gallery student, buy some and eat it. It's not bad, yeah.
ㄴ What's a Gallery student?
ㄴ A Gallery-related profession, yeah.
ㄴ Lol, apparently there's even an academy for this.
Whale meat wasn't bad.
The problem was that the marketplace had appeared.
All sorts of intensely stimulating modern flavors were being supplied in bulk at ridiculously low prices.
As someone from the Great War generation, I could eat whale meat too, but why bother? That was what it had come to.
- Why don't we just close the Elrad marketplace?
ㄴ For real lol. Then we'd probably eat it, right?
The Gallery-style conclusion that followed was to shut down the marketplace.
- No, you can't!!!
ㄴ It's spelled “돼,” not “되.”
- If you stop selling Chamisul, I'll just fucking die!
- If you close the marketplace, you won't get to see elves anymore!!
The cornered elves tried to use themselves as bait, but...
ㄴ Oh!
ㄴ Please, Head Mod, close the marketplace.
ㄴ Good, good, let's keep going like this.
It had no effect.
No—in fact, when the Gallery heard that the elves would go on strike, they threw their hands up and cheered.
“Oh, should I close it for a while?”
And I was tempted, too.
The marketplace could stay for the sake of survival, but there was no harm in discontinuing Chamisul.
Unlike food, Chamisul existed solely for the elves' amusement.
Besides, I was used to drunk elves leaving speciesist comments on the Gallery or picking fights.
- Head Mod*: Oh, should I?
ㄴ !
ㄴ ㅇ o ㅇ
ㄴ H-Head Mod...?
ㄴ (An elf emote frozen in shock)
So when I left that chat message half as a joke, the elves' comments started burning.
Elves weren't much help.
The elves were already on the defensive because of that image of them, and they eventually took action.
- If the elves don't help... if we don't help!
ㄴ Hahahaha, what are you gonna do?
ㄴ I'll grab you by the ear and lift you up lol.
ㄴ We won't post lewd pictures at night!!!
ㄴ !
ㄴ !!!
They specialized in trolling through their innate attention-seeking nature and drunkenness.
Thanks to that, after the beastfolk, elves became the race that posted ㅇㅎ—aka lewd pictures—in the Gallery...
“We should catch the monster quickly, though.”
[Tranquilizer Gun] - 720p
I immediately bought a tranquilizer gun from the marketplace.
What was the Head Mod's role?
Restoring the Gallery to normal, of course.
For the sake of Elrad's forest environment, we had to catch that whale fishman quickly.
Because that's what the Head Mod did.
It definitely wasn't because of the elves' lewd pictures.
*
Giant magical beasts had existed before.
But that had only been during the Great War, and they were difficult to see now.
At most, there had been the previous bone dragon or the magical beasts during the Elrad invasion.
“It's taller than the trees.”
“How are we supposed to catch that...?”
But then a whale fishman several dozen meters long appeared in the forest.
It was as large as a tree—no, larger—and the elves were completely overwhelmed.
Its body blocked out the sun, and the pressure was enough to make even their pointy ears droop.
Full-HP Elf: Thanks, but...
Full-HP Elf: (A GIF of a whale fishman larger than a tree)
Full-HP Elf: Are you sure this will really work...?
Full-HP Elf—Eliana—looked at the item the Head Mod had sent.
The Head Mod's great magic, which he called a gun.
They didn't doubt its power.
After all, when that tiny hole emitted light, it was a bizarrely powerful magic that could pierce a magical beast in an instant.
But the whale fishman was huge. Extremely huge.
Head Mod*: Yeah, it'll work. It's meant for capturing wild animals, but I adjusted the dosage to increase its potency.
Head Mod*: It puts elephants to sleep within a minute, so trust me and give it a try, yeah.
“Adjust what... increase its potency?”
Eliana tilted her head at the Head Mod's explanation.
But she brushed it off, assuming it was simply an explanation of the great magic's formula.
Honestly, it was pitifully small compared to the machine gun, another of the Head Mod's great magics, that he had given them during the previous Elrad invasion...
“But it's an item the Head Mod sent personally.”
Hadn't the Head Mod always shown them something beyond anything they could imagine?
She climbed the tallest tree nearby and looked down.
“Eek, huff, huff, save me!”
“C-Commander, can I stop running now?!”
There, she saw a whale fishman distracted by the elves.
The subordinate elves had actually volunteered to draw the whale fishman's attention themselves.
“To sacrifice yourselves this much... El-hic.”
“You lousy commander, shoot already!!”
Moved by the spirit of her subordinates' sacrifice, Eliana slowly took aim at the whale fishman.
Of course, some of the elves mixed in with it might get hit, but...
“I won't forget your sacrifice...!”
Eliana pulled the trigger.
The dart shot from the muzzle flew toward the whale fishman at terrifying speed and struck it!
“Got it!”
Eliana clenched her fist and rose from her spot.
She had successfully hit the whale fishman.
But then...
“...Why isn't it reacting at all?”
The whale fishman wasn't hurt. It didn't even have a scratch.
She looked back and forth between the gun and the whale fishman.
It was strange.
If it was the Head Mod's magic, there should have been an unimaginable explosion, or something comparable to it.
“Commander, Commandeeer!”
- Grrrgl!
Just as Eliana was tilting her head at the still-lively whale fishman,
“Huh?”
the whale fishman's movements grew sluggish.
Its huge body, larger than a tree, began to sway.
“B-but it wasn't hit at all?”
At most, all that had struck it was a finger-sized dart.
That couldn't even kill a person.
Less than a minute had passed as she blinked and watched the scene unfold.
- Grrrk...
The gigantic whale fishman staggered, then finally collapsed to the ground.
- Kwoooong!
The elves at the scene stared blankly and blinked at the whale fishman, now asleep and completely motionless.
And Eliana, who had put the whale fishman to sleep, stared blankly down at the gun and muttered,
“Huh?”
*
[Title: We Caught It...]
Author: Full-HP Elf
(A GIF of a whale fishman collapsed and sleeping in the forest)
(A GIF of it being tied up with ropes and secured to the ground)
I hit it with the thing the Head Mod gave me, but... I still don't understand it...
I only hit the monster with one tiny dart, but it fell asleep after rampaging around like that.
Even when I point a bow at it or draw a weapon in front of it, it sleeps like it's dead...
[Recommended 5121] [Not Recommended 15]
- How did you catch that?
- Why is it sleeping?
- There's no wound, so how did you tie it up?
ㄴ Full-HP Elf) I hit it with a dart and it fell asleep.
ㄴ No, does that make any sense?
ㄴ You forced something that huge to sleep? lol This is absurd.
ㄴ For real, if you're going to lie, just say the Head Mod came from the distant future lololol.
An anesthetic that could put even an elephant to sleep.
I bought and sent something stronger than that, and fortunately, it seemed to work.
Thanks to that, there was no unfortunate incident like the forest rotting because of the whale fishman's corpse.
- But... how are we supposed to move that to the sea?
- (An elf emote: Dunno?)
- (A dumbfounded elf emote with its mouth hanging open)
“Ah.”
But there wasn't really any way to clear it away.
The sea was far too distant to transport it there.
And if we killed it, it would begin to rot the moment it died, leaving us with the same problem we'd worried about in the first place.
“Now moving it is the problem.”
Even if we wanted to kill it, we had to do so in the sea.
My head was aching over this new problem.
Then a new Featured Post appeared on the Gallery.
“Looking at the Featured Post isn't important right now.”
But I didn't really feel like looking at it.
Featured Posts would still be there later, and for now, I had to solve Elrad's whale fishman problem.
I was just about to turn off the notifications and think about how to move it when
[Title: NSFW) I'm hungry ㅠㅅㅠ...jpg]
Author: WholesomeChaste
- !!!
- Are you finally posting a picture?!
- I knew I could count on you, Dryer-chan!
- (A GIF of a knight cheering with both arms raised)
“Huh?”
The author of the Featured Post was Dryer.