Parting with Mother

Returning to my domain and the castle that could truly be called my family home, I kept myself busy.

First, I needed to procure some clothes. In the royal capital, I had worn makeshift dresses, but I honestly disliked dresses. I wanted comfortable everyday clothes that would not restrict my movements, but nothing like that was sold normally, so I had to have them custom-made. I went to a tailor, explained my designs, and had about ten outfits made.

I also went to a workshop and picked out gear suited to me. I sent people out to investigate several individuals, scrutinized documents I had borrowed without permission from Father's room, copied maps, and spent every day keeping busy.

Father and Mother were busy as well, in their own ways.

Mother in particular was busy crying every day, and there wasn't a day when I didn't hear shrieks or sobbing. Apparently, she could not accept having returned from the dazzling royal capital to such a rural place.

The maids trying to comfort her looked like they were having a hard time, but they would just have to chalk it up to part of their job.

Father, too, seemed to spend every day agonizing over how to use the enormous fortune he had gained from the ambergris.

Judging by the financial records, Father was weak when it came to money placed right in front of him. I thought he should take a longer-term view, but there was no point in a woman like me interfering, so I kept quiet.

However, our family still had no real conversations. Mother remained shut away in her room, while I saw Father at mealtimes, where we exchanged only the same routine greetings and had no other topics to discuss.

Without knowing how to interact with them, I finished my preparations. The clothes I had ordered from the tailor were nearly ready, and all the supplies I had planned to obtain were in place. All that remained was to settle things with Father.

"Father, I have something I'd like to discuss."

I went to Father while he was enjoying his afternoon tea and broached the subject.

"To recover from the fatigue of my long journey, I was thinking of taking it easy for a while in some quiet, out-of-the-way place on the frontier."

Of course, that was a lie.

"...Where is it you wish to go?"

"Kashu."

The Kashu region lay on the easternmost edge of the kingdom and was considered a frontier. Rugged mountains covered it to the north, an enemy nation lay to the east, and there was nothing but wasteland to the south.

"Very well. Do as you please."

As expected, Father gave me permission. If his troublesome daughter was willing to retreat to the frontier of her own accord, he could hardly have asked for more.

"Yes, I will. However, Father, I don't want to lack for anything there. I won't cause you any trouble. In return, I'd like the freedom to do as I please there."

I put on a slightly spoiled-daughter act as I made my request.

"...Very well. I suppose that will be fine."

I had his word. I would have it put into a formal document later.

"When do you plan to leave?"

"As soon as possible. Could you arrange an escort for me during the journey?"

The Demon King's army had not yet extended its reach to Kashu, but the monsters it had unleashed had gone wild there. Bandits were also a possibility, so an escort was essential. I also wanted to inspect the area myself. Since I wanted to save money, I might as well ask for an escort.

"Very well. I'll make the arrangements."

Father was so willing to do as I asked that it was almost anticlimactic. Was he being considerate in his own way?

"I thought I should at least say farewell to Mother."

There was a chance I might never see either of them again. I hadn't been able to do so three years ago, but this time I should make a proper farewell.

Father agreed that would be best, and I went straight to Mother's room.

As I approached Mother's bedroom, her sobbing echoed all the way outside. I let out a single sigh and steeled myself.

"Mother, it's Romelia. I'm coming in."

After knocking, I entered the room.

The spacious bedroom was a complete mess. Clothes, shoes, jewelry, underwear, and handkerchiefs were scattered everywhere.

"Oh, Romelia. What am I to do? This is the end of the world."

The moment she saw me, those were the first words out of Mother's mouth. She was a genius at finding tragedy and disaster in everything around her.

Apparently, the maids were cold to her, her friends were neglecting her, the merchants sent her nothing but shoddy goods, and even her pets refused to take to her. She seemed to believe that all creation was conspiring to exclude her.

And as she lamented, she never once tried to look at my face.

Normally, that would have been fine, but this might be the last time we ever met.

"Mother!"

Tired of listening to her endless complaints, I raised my voice and clapped my hands with a loud smack.

Startled by my voice and the sharp sound, Mother opened her eyes wide and looked at me.

I cupped Mother's face in both hands and gazed intently at her.

It had been a long time since I had looked directly at Mother's face. It had probably been a long time since she had looked straight at mine, too.

After studying her face for a while, I lowered my hands, slipped them around her back, and embraced her.

Startled by the sudden embrace, Mother stiffened in surprise and tension.

"I am leaving for Kashu tomorrow. This is goodbye."

For my farewell, I summoned every last scrap of affection I had.

Goodbye, Mother. You poor woman, unable to love anyone but yourself.

But I could not love Mother, either.

I may not love you, but I want you to stay well.

"Goodbye. Take care."

I let go and said goodbye.

As I left the room, I heard her wails start up again.

Without turning back at the sound of her cries, I set out for Kashu.