Chapter 84
Once they passed through the street lined with accessory stalls, they emerged onto a road lined with lively taverns.
Through the open doors, Monica caught glimpses of minstrels playing lutes, men drinking and singing merrily, and women draped over those men as they served them drinks.
As she gazed absently at the scene, Felix looked at Monica.
"Are you hungry?"
When Monica shook her head, Felix looked toward the end of the street.
"Then let's go straight to the shop we're headed for."
There was no hesitation in Felix's stride. Apparently, he had a particular shop in mind.
"Um... what kind of shop is it we're going to?"
"That's for you to find out when we get there. But I'm sure you'll like it too."
It seemed they would have to walk a little farther to reach the shop he had in mind.
What sort of establishment could a member of royalty like Felix secretly slip out of his dormitory to visit?
Judging by the way Felix had behaved at Madame Cassandra's House, he seemed accustomed to visiting brothels. Several times, at establishments other than Madame Cassandra's House, young women standing outside had waved familiarly and called, "Baron!"
The title of Baron must be the persona he used here.
At the academy, he was the model of propriety, but here he behaved freely and happily—the life of royalty must be terribly stifling.
Even so, Monica could not shake a small sense of unease.
"Um... I-Ike..."
"Yes?"
"...Do you enjoy going out at night?"
"Don't I look like I'm enjoying myself?"
Felix blinked golden eyelashes that did not suit his black wig and tilted his head slightly.
Monica hesitated a little, then opened her mouth.
"You look like you're 'acting as though you're having fun.'"
At Monica's words, Felix closed and opened his eyes once.
The expression vanished from his handsome face for an instant. The expression that appeared next was a smile that seemed to have given up on something.
"Maybe that's exactly how it is."
Felix indirectly acknowledged her words, tilted his head, and looked up at the sky.
Stars were hard to see in this city, bright even at night. Even so, Felix narrowed his eyes slightly, as though searching for them.
"An old friend once told me."
Felix murmured quietly without taking his eyes from the sky.
"'I want you to find something you can become absorbed in—not for anyone else, but for yourself. I want you to find lots of things you alone like, lots of things you enjoy.'"
Each time Felix formed a word, white breath seeped into the darkness, like mist.
"I've been searching ever since that day—for things I can lose myself in, things I enjoy."
"...Did you find anything like that in this city?"
"Just one thing. That's where we're going now."
His answer made it clear that he had never really been interested in the city's glamorous nightlife.
Even strolling boldly through the stimulating nightlife and spending time with beautiful women, he could never have become absorbed in it.
Still, he sampled every kind of entertainment people sought, merely skimming its surface and pretending to enjoy himself... while somewhere in his heart he sighed, "This isn't it."
Even so, for the sake of his friend's wish, he was searching for something he could truly like.
"Once I become king, I'll lose my free time. When that happens, I won't be able to wander around having fun like this... This time is like the remainder of my life, when I can still be 'me.'"
Monica bit her lip, wondering whether to voice the question rising from deep within her.
This question might be considered disrespectful—a question for which she could be beheaded without complaint.
Even so, Monica wanted to ask more than anything. She wanted to know Felix's true feelings.
"Even knowing you'll lose your freedom... do you still want to become king?"
"Want to become king? ...That's not quite right."
Felix slowly shook his head and looked down at Monica.
The expression fell away from his handsome face, and his jewel-like blue eyes lost their light.
"'I' have to become king."
Of course, for someone born into royalty, aiming to become king was only natural—this was surely a feeling Monica could never understand in her lifetime.
The subject of royal succession was extremely delicate. If she phrased the question incorrectly, he might take it as an insult—that she was saying he was unfit to be king.
Monica bowed deeply to Felix.
"I'm sorry for asking something so, so rude."
"I don't mind. I'm honestly glad you've taken an interest in me. After all, you were astonishingly uninterested in me before."
"Whaaaat!?"
Monica let out a sound like a frog run over by a carriage.
Felix was right. Monica was conscious of him as the person she was protecting, but she had no interest in Felix as an individual. At most, she thought, "His proportions are incredible—practically the golden ratio."
As Monica stood silent, cold sweat streaming down her face, Felix set a finger beneath her chin and tilted her face upward.
"If you feel bad about it, then it's your turn to tell me about yourself."
"M-me? About me...?"
"You have a lot of secrets."
Monica's face went rigid.
Her greatest secret—the fact that she was Monica Everett, the Silent Witch, one of the Seven Sages.
She had thought she had managed to keep it hidden, but could Felix have guessed her true identity?
"You keep appearing wherever I go. You broke into the secret old garden that could only be entered with a key, witnessed me sneaking out of the dormitory, and now—here you are."
Monica had entered the sealed old garden using magic.
She had witnessed Felix sneaking out because of Nero's power.
And Monica was here now thanks to Rin's cooperation.
...None of those were things an ordinary student could do.
Felix took Monica's hand and placed it against his own neck, just as he had when warming it earlier.
"You know, when I realized you were following me... I thought you might be an assassin out to kill me. But even when you placed your hand on my neck just now, your fingers didn't squeeze it. Someone waiting for a chance to assassinate me would at least consider it an opportunity."
Monica went deathly pale.
Felix had been testing her then—testing her reaction.
"Did you refrain from doing anything because there were lots of people around? Then this road is deserted. If you want to kill me, you can squeeze my neck with that hand or slash my throat."
"I-I would never do that!"
When Monica denied it instinctively, Felix nodded casually. "Yes, I know that's not it."
Felix said lightly, leaving Monica nonplussed,
"You're no assassin. If you meant to kill me, you'd have done it long ago."
"..."
"Whatever your goal may be, you behave far too suspiciously to be someone hired by another person. I don't think you're an enemy, but you're far too unreliable to be an ally. So I decided to think of you as an amusing pet."
"A pet!? ...A pet!?"
As Monica crumbled in despair, Felix chuckled mischievously.
"Now we're partners in nighttime escapades, sharing a secret."
"...A pet... A pet..."
"I've already stopped calling you a baby squirrel, haven't I?"
Saying this, Felix extended his index finger and pressed it flat against Monica's forehead.
"Hey, have you realized? You could have used your knowledge to bargain with me. You could have said, 'If you don't want me to tell everyone you're sneaking out at night, do as I say.'"
"...Well, um... Y-your... ahem, Ike, there's nothing in particular I want from you."
Earlier, when Felix had challenged her to a chess match, Monica had wanted him to stop calling her a baby squirrel.
Once she'd given up on ever being addressed by her name and accepted it, there was nothing else Monica wanted from Felix.
"I don't want anything from you, nor anything I want you to do for me... truly, nothing."
"Ah, after spending these past few months together, I understand that well. You don't expect anything from me."
Felix turned his back on Monica and walked several paces ahead. Then, without turning to face her, he said quietly,
"It's easy in a way, but a little lonely too."
Felix began walking slowly. Monica hurried after him.
But feeling bad about walking beside him, she followed slightly behind with her head bowed, until Felix entwined his fingers with hers and started walking.
To the bewildered Monica, Felix said,
"I told you earlier, didn't I? I'm looking for things I like and things I find fun. Playing with you is fun, so I won't pry into who you are. So won't you pay me a little more attention?"
"P-play with me..."
"Oh, correction. Playing with you is fun."
"But you said 'play with me'... 'with me'..."
Felix pulled Monica's hand as she groaned and stammered, then looked ahead and spoke in an especially bright voice.
"Look, I can see the shop we're headed for."
Though she knew he was distracting her, Monica let herself be drawn into looking up, and saw an old brick house.
A small lamp and wooden plaque hung from the door, the orange light illuminating the words on the plaque.
On the unadorned plaque, the words 'Porter Antiquarian Bookshop' were carved in rough lettering.
"Come on, Monica. Let me show you. This is my favorite place of all."