Chapter 9
9.
I was so used to them, so used to having them around....
I hadn't realized.
They say you don't realize how precious someone is until they're gone, even when they're right by your side.
“Is it really this much of a hassle just because one dumb bear isn't around?”
Even buying little things meant I had to go out myself, and whether I cooked at home or ordered in, I had to clean up afterward.
There was a housekeeper who came every other day to do the chores, but I stopped calling her after my appearance changed.
If I had to explain every little detail to one person after another, it would never end.
‘But I can't keep living this isolated forever....’
Just then, my KakaoTalk notification chimed.
I checked the message without thinking much of it.
“Ah....”
A dispirited sigh escaped me before I knew it.
The message had come from a group chat I was in.
I hadn't been able to check my phone much while things were hectic, and quite a few messages had piled up in the meantime.
It wasn't any special group chat.
It was just a group of people who got together to drink and go clubbing.
There were other group chats for golf, snowboarding, and summer activities, too.
“Come to think of it, I can't hang out with these people anymore, can I?”
I didn't care much about the friendships I'd built up with them, but it was a little disappointing to lose the excuse to go out and have fun.
They weren't particularly useful connections, either. Every last one of them was just like me, living for today and partying without a thought.
I boldly left three or four group chats.
“I can always make new ones. As a woman, Jeong Ha-won... Ah?”
I muttered to myself, then flinched.
‘No, I'm a man. Jeong Ha-won, a man. I'm only in this body for now. I'll turn back someday.’
I had no idea when that day would come.
Maybe I'd have to live like this forever.
The thought sent a chill through me.
Still, there wasn't much I could do right now.
Was it time to start accepting and adapting to this, like Seo Geon-woo said?
Aside from the revolting, humiliating feeling, it was true that I couldn't bring myself to decide, because it felt like I was abandoning myself.
A life as a woman that I'd never experienced, and had never even wanted to experience.
It hadn't even been a month, but it was already so hard.
There was so much I needed to learn, and so many of my habits I had to change.
Even setting aside feminine speech and behavior, there were plenty of physical inconveniences.
I'd gotten weaker and shorter, so things that had been incredibly easy when I had a man's body had all become difficult.
The biggest problem, in particular, was taking care of basic bodily needs.
At least I seemed to have adjusted to some extent by now, but at first, the self-loathing had been so bad I wanted to die.
I went into the dressing room.
I looked over the women's clothes I'd bought in bulk and hung up.
Every time I looked at women's clothes, I was reminded of how much I'd changed.
“Ugh, I really hate this....”
Why were women's clothes either skin-tight or flowy? There weren't many with a normal fit.
I'd already forgotten all the outfit-matching tips Woo Da-yeon had given me when I bought them.
If I just grabbed whatever and put it on, even I could see how awful I looked.
I couldn't look any more like a dweeb.
“When Woo Da-yeon dressed me, the outfits actually went together pretty well....”
Should I call her over again?
I considered it, then shook my head hard.
“No, getting involved with that headache again will only stress me out.”
With no other choice, I took out a dress and put it on.
It was the one Seo Geon-woo had said looked pretty.
It was convenient since I didn't have to worry about matching a top and bottom, but it was so feminine that looking at my reflection made me cringe.
Then, suddenly, I looked at my face in the mirror.
Even without makeup, my skin was spotless and pale, and my features looked as if someone had customized them personally.
And those blue eyes that gave me an air of mystery.
“Yeah, maybe because I was pretty handsome before, I'm still really pretty even after changing sexes.”
It was funny that I was only noticing that now.
I'd only writhed in endless self-loathing and shame over having turned into a woman I considered beneath me. I'd never truly looked at myself.
“That's right. I'm Jeong Ha-won. Turning into a woman doesn't make me someone's prey.”
I grabbed my sunglasses and car keys and left the house.
I climbed into an unremarkable V-brand SUV.
Including this one, I owned three cars in total.
I used to have four, but I scrapped the car I'd been driving the day I was kidnapped because it brought me bad luck.
It had been a while since I'd driven, but my feel for the road was still the same.
It stung my pride to adjust the seat, but my body had gotten smaller, so I had no choice.
[Ta-da♪ Ta-da♬]
My phone rang, filling the car with music, and the navigation screen displayed ‘Secretary Shin.’
“Yes.”
“Are you on your way?”
“Yes. I think I'll be there in about twenty minutes.”
“Understood. A staff member will be waiting at the entrance. Please follow their directions.”
“Yes.”
“Then I'll see you shortly.”
Click.
He just says what he needs to and hangs up.
I would've been angry if it were anyone else, but for some reason, I didn't feel that way toward Secretary Shin.
Actually, I was on my way to the place where Chairman Jeong Jae-heon, head of Guwon Group and my father, had summoned the family, saying he had an important announcement to make.
I could pretty much guess what it was about.
It was probably about me.
I was a little nervous and a little worried, but it was something I'd have to face eventually.
Of course, Father wouldn't present me publicly, but he'd probably decided it was better to tell them about me privately, at least.
‘I don't know if that was really the right decision, though.’
My father owned several country houses in the suburbs not far from Seoul, and today's gathering was at one of them.
Not long after I took the interchange onto a regular road, there was a thud from behind, and my car lurched violently.
My body was thrown forward, and my face slammed into the steering wheel.
“Ow!”
Damn it, was that an accident?
Some idiot must've failed to watch the road and slow down.
I turned on my hazard lights and checked behind me in the side mirror.
“What kind of moron....”
I unbuckled my seat belt and got straight out of the car.
I had no intention of making a big deal out of this.
Given that my identity wasn't exactly clear at the moment, there was no need to make trouble for myself.
I just planned to see who it was, settle things reasonably, and send them on their way.
Someone got out of the car behind me, too.
He was a tall man.
His suit fit as well as mine used to, and he didn't look dumb enough to cause this kind of accident.
No, he was actually quite neat and handsome.
‘Why is that the first thing I notice?’
The man approached with an embarrassed expression.
“I'm so sorry. Are you hurt?”
At least he wasn't the kind of arrogant jerk who jumped out clutching the back of his neck and immediately started yelling.
Our eyes met.
His eyebrows were raised into the shape of the character 人, but a faint smile rested on his lips, making him quite attractive.
“Were you drinking? How does it make sense to rear-end someone like this?”
I started by giving him a hard time.
“I'm sorry. I was distracted for a moment....”
“Shouldn't you retake your driving test?”
I deliberately spoke even more rudely, but his response was a little different from what I expected.
“Oh dear, maybe I should. I'm sorry. How would you like to handle this? Through insurance?”
I gave him a sidelong glance, then walked around to the back of the car to check the damage.
The rear bumper was only slightly dented.
‘My body felt like it had been launched forward. That was all the damage?’
It seemed excessive to call the police or file an insurance claim over something this minor. Besides, given my situation....
“Forget it. Let's settle this between us, okay? I'm in a hurry, too.”
“Are you sure you're all right with that?”
“Never mind. Just go. I'll take care of repairing my car myself.”
“Ah, but you really shouldn't....”
He was the one in the wrong, so why was he trying to drag this out? The victim was letting him off, and he should be thanking his lucky stars.
“Is there a problem? I said I'm fine....”
“Well, it's just... if you reported it as a hit-and-run or something, that'd put me in quite a difficult position.”
He was making a pitiful face while getting his point across perfectly clearly.
“I'm not reporting it. Don't worry.”
The man thought for a moment, then started taking pictures of the damage and the scene with his phone.
He seemed intent on making sure he had solid evidence.
Then he came back over and asked me,
“If you don't mind, could I get your business card or contact information?”
What a nuisance.
“I don't have a business card.”
“Then your number, at least....”
I studied the man's face.
It didn't seem like he was trying to hit on me or anything.
When I hesitated a little, he took his own business card from his pocket and held it out first.
“This is who I am. I appreciate you being kind, but there'd be no harm in making sure everything's clear. I hope you'll bear with me.”
I took the man's business card and glanced over it, then my eyes widened.
‘What? This guy works for Guwon Group?’
He worked at our—no, Father's company.
What an incredible coincidence.
His name was Seong Ji-hoon, and his department was... PTG?
Did we even have a department like that?
Even though I'd been kept out of company affairs, I'd still familiarized myself with how the different departments worked.
Not because I expected anything from it, but because I figured I should at least know the basics of my father's company.
‘Was it newly established?’
I glanced over the man's face and body.
He definitely had a solid build.
‘If I'd still been a man, could I have beaten someone like him in a fight?’
As I was having a pointless thought, the man named Seong Ji-hoon spoke to me again.
“Could I at least get your name and number?”
I wondered what I should do for a moment.
‘Well, what could happen?’
I scratched the back of my head and said,
“I'm Jeong Ha-won. My number is....”
Seong Ji-hoon quickly entered the number I gave him into his phone.
“Is that all?”
“Yes. I think that's everything.”
“Then I can go now, right?”
A smile spread across Seong Ji-hoon's face.
Was he happy now that he'd saved the money?
“Yes. Anyway, thank you.”
“It's fine. Be careful driving from now on.”
I turned to go back to my car, but he called after me.
My brow furrowed, but I quickly composed myself and turned around.
“What?”
“No, it's nothing, but... Ha-won, if you ever get into an accident again, don't just jump out of the car without thinking. Make sure you assess the situation before you act.”
He wasn't speaking in a lecturing or admonishing tone. He seemed genuinely concerned.
I scratched my cheek and answered.
“Yeah, sure.”
“Haha, you're a woman, but you seem pretty bold and strong-willed. Anyway, take care.”
Is that so?
Was that kind of behavior a little reckless for a woman?
I gave a slight nod in response to his casual bow.
I let Seong Ji-hoon's car go first, then set off after him.
It took about seven more minutes to reach the country house.
Just as Secretary Shin had said, a female employee was waiting in the parking lot to guide me.
I followed her into the country house.
Since it was my first time visiting this place, they must have arranged for someone to guide me, knowing I wouldn't know my way around.
As I entered the spacious lobby, it had the atmosphere of a small party.
I saw a few faces I really didn't want to see.
My eldest brother, Jeong Ju-won.
My second eldest brother, Jeong Min-hyeok.
Both of them met my eyes, but quickly looked away.
Then I met the gaze of a middle-aged woman who looked like she had a temper.
My stepmother and my brothers' biological mother.
The lady of Guwon Group, Madam Kim Ju-gyeong.
Unlike my brothers, she didn't take her eyes off me. Eventually, she even came over.
‘Ah, I really don't want to deal with her....’
I'd missed my chance to turn and walk somewhere else.
“Could you be... Ha-won?”
She recognized me right away.
Of course, Father must've told her in advance, but she really was a sharp woman.
“Yes... that's right.”
I expected her to look at me with contempt, but surprisingly, Madam Kim Ju-gyeong's face bloomed into a smile.
“The chairman told me the gist of it. You've turned out prettier than I expected?”
What was this reaction?
I stared into her eyes, trying to read her thoughts, but couldn't decipher them easily.
“Well... that's what happened.”
“It's even harder to believe in person. Hoho. Still, it's better than that male face that used to be full of venom.”
So she'd come over to mock me after all.
That vixen of a woman.
Just then, someone's high-pitched voice rang through the room.
“The chairman is coming in.”
Everyone stopped what they were doing and turned their gaze in one direction.