What Yoo Seo-ah Wishes For

I closed the bathroom door and turned on the water.

Cold water that hadn't warmed up yet poured over my head.

My body shivered, but I endured it and quickly washed the blood and dust off myself.

I'm used to washing in cold water, anyway.

After washing off most of the blood and dust, I turned toward the angel.

The angel must have found the mirror fascinating, because even after entering the bathroom, she was examining her own body in it from every angle.

"…."

Once her wings and halo disappeared, my first thought was that she looked more like an ordinary girl than an angel.

She barely came up to my chest, and she weighed a little more than her size suggested, but considering the six wings she'd shown me yesterday, perhaps thirty percent of that was the weight of her wings.

As evidence of that, her ribs were slightly visible at her sides.

At least they weren't blatantly exposed, like a refugee's would be.

'If they had been, I probably would've kept her and force-fed her until she put on weight.'

The hair reaching her waist was so beautifully white.

It didn't feel like hair so much as freshly spun silk thread.

Her skin was so white that it looked like something out of a cosmetics commercial, to the point where I wondered if it would break when touched.

Her soft, slightly downturned eyes, long eyelashes, and gently glowing golden irises.

A small mouth atop a perfectly shaped nose.

'They say an angel's face was sculpted directly by God.'

That face was exactly as the saying described it.

And….

'Let's not cross the line.'

I firmly shut my eyes before they could wander lower and reined in the emotions running wild inside me.

The angel was my benefactor, the one who had given me the will to live when I had been merely surviving, unable to die.

To harbor lust toward such a benefactor, whose body looked no more than that of a little girl….

Wouldn't that be no different from trampling my own feelings for my benefactor?

"Ms. Seo-ah? You mustn't fall asleep in the bathroom."

I smiled faintly at the worried voice and opened my eyes.

The angel's clear, unclouded golden eyes reflected me.

"I'm not sleeping. I was just thinking about something for a moment. Come here. I'll wash your hair for you."

"Ah, yes!"

The angel answered brightly, then padded over and stuck her head under the showerhead.

It was obvious that this really was her first time taking a bath.

"It's not good to wet your hair from the top like that. Come here and sit down."

"Ah, isn't this how you're supposed to do it?"

"Hmm…. It isn't exactly a problem, but there's a more comfortable way to do it. I'll teach you properly later. And I'm here with you now, aren't I? I'll wash your hair, so sit still."

I smiled faintly because she looked so cute as she nodded with her wet hair.

I pulled out another chair and sat behind the angel, who was sitting on the bathroom stool, then slowly wet her hair.

I had originally planned to brush it first, but now that I looked at it, I didn't think it was necessary.

"How's the water temperature?"

"Uuuh…. It's warm and nice…."

The angel answered with her mouth hanging open and her face completely relaxed, as if she weren't saying it just to be polite.

"By the way, your hair is incredibly soft. Have you really never done anything special to care for it?"

"Yees…. This is my first time washing my hair, too…."

…Some people need shampoo, conditioner, treatments, hair packs, and even oil to maintain hair this well.

To think hair that had never been washed even once in her life could be this beautiful.

'I might feel a little deprived.'

Well, I suppose it couldn't be helped since she was an angel.

Even as I thought that, I couldn't help feeling envious deep down.

"I'm jealous. I wish my hair were this beautiful even without taking care of it."

"I…. I like Ms. Seo-ah's hair…."

I smiled faintly at her slack expression and gently stroked the angel's hair.

"Auuugh…! My hair—don't…!"

I flinched at the unexpectedly suggestive sound and pulled my hand away.

At the same time, the angel turned toward me with both hands pressing down on her head.

Whether it was because of the hot water, embarrassment, or something else, the angel's soft-looking cheeks were flushed pink.

"M-My head is sensitive…."

The desire inside me raised its head once again, but I firmly suppressed it and put it back to sleep.

"Sorry. I'll be gentler."

“Uu…. Yes…."

Her tightly hunched shoulders were cute.

The way she flinched every time my fingers touched her was erotic.

Her pure-white skin flushed and took on a lovely pink hue.

My heart thudded, but I firmly pushed everything down and endured it as I squeezed out the shampoo and began washing the angel's hair.

I gently massaged her scalp with my fingers.

"Eek, ohh…. Hnnngh, hyaaah…!"

…I massaged it thoroughly.

"M-Ms. Seo-ah…. My, my head feels…. weird…."

I cleared my mind and washed the angel's hair.

I had originally planned to use conditioner, treatment, a hair pack, and even oil, just as I did with my own hair.

'I can't take it anymore.'

I was already this shaken by nothing more than washing her hair. How could I do anything more?

By the time I finished washing her hair, both the angel and I were completely exhausted.

Thanks to that, I roughly washed my own hair as though scrubbing laundry, twisted it up, and wrapped it in a towel.

I did the same for the angel—fortunately, she didn't make any strange sounds this time—then she washed herself and got into the bathtub I'd filled in advance.

For the record, she washed her own body.

I only scrubbed her back.

I held myself back because I felt like something truly disastrous would happen if I washed her front as well.

And so the angel and I got into the bathtub together.

I got in and sat down first, and the angel sat in front of me—more precisely, between my legs.

It felt as though I were hugging her from behind, just as I had on the bed.

At first, I worried I might have the same impure thoughts as before, but once we were in the water with our bodies touching, I felt no lust at all.

A sense of fulfillment entirely different from the pleasure of simply pursuing gratification began to fill me.

It felt as though it were filling the hole in my chest, much like how I had felt when I was with my family.

"…It's warm."

"It is. It's warm."

The angel and I didn't exchange any particularly special stories.

No, we didn't talk all that much in general.

It was enough simply for the angel to lean her body against me while I leaned my heart against her.

As we sat there without saying anything, I suddenly remembered that this, too, would be over tomorrow.

"…Tomorrow is our last day, isn't it?"

The angel tried to turn toward me at my words, so I hugged her tightly from behind to keep her from turning around.

I stopped her because I didn't know what expression I was wearing right now.

"You know, I was actually planning to die."

I could feel her body flinch in surprise, so I gave a vague smile and hugged the angel even more tightly.

"I was suffering so much, and I was incredibly lonely. The guilt, too…. It was really overwhelming."

Every day, I thought about dying. Let's live just one more day. Just one more day.

Just one more day. More. More…. That's how I lived each day.

Because if I died, more people would get hurt. If I died, other people would suffer because of me.

I hated that, so I resolved to live just one more day and kept going.

Because there were citizens I had to protect, and promises I had to keep.

"Eight years ago, when I was still thirteen, I got distracted while fighting a humanoid monster and failed to protect my family."

"That was the monster's fault, not yours, Ms. Seo-ah…."

"Pfft…. Thank you for trying to comfort me, but what happened then really was my fault."

I gently leaned my body against the angel and closed my eyes.

"No ordinary amount of power could break through its defenses, so I increased my output and fired my magic without thinking. But I didn't know then that just because the other side blocked the magic, that didn't mean the magic disappeared."

If you blocked a stream of water with your hand, would the water disappear?

No. It would only splash in every direction.

"It had worked every time before, so I fired it expecting it to work again. But it was stopped by the monster's exoskeleton and spread out in every direction. And…. Some of it hit where my mother and father were. The monster died, but more people died just to kill one monster."

Could an ordinary human withstand magic capable of killing even a humanoid monster?

Could a human body survive being struck by auroral light that could turn even steel into boiling molten metal?

No, it couldn't.

Nothing.

Nothing remained in the place burned completely black.

Only shadows in the shape of human beings indicated that two people had once been there.

I had killed my mother and father with my own hands.

My friends, their parents, and innocent citizens too.

It was a tragedy caused by ignorance and reckless actions.

"That's why I couldn't use magic after that day. Whenever I tried to use it, the memory of that day came back, and my body wouldn't move."

Even when I was soaked in blood and covered in entrails.

Even when the stench of blood wouldn't leave my body, I smoked every day to erase the nightmare and smell of blood from that day.

That was why, even then, I never used magic.

"Because I didn't want to repeat that nightmare ever again."

So I trained myself to the brink of death and practiced over and over.

Even when I vomited blood, broke bones, tore my skin, and became covered in sores, I didn't stop.

As a result, I earned the title of the strongest.

But a title gained only after losing everything was nothing more than an empty cry.

There was no one left to call me Yoo Seo-ah instead of Magical Girl Black.

"I had such a hard time. It was even harder because I couldn't show anyone how much I was suffering. I was in pain and agony, but I had to bear it all alone. I worked desperately to atone, but no matter how hard I tried, my guilt never seemed to grow any lighter…. So I tried to die."

Because I thought this suffering would end once I died.

"And it was in the middle of all that that you appeared."

An angel who called me by the name Yoo Seo-ah instead of Magical Girl Black.

The one person who looked at the small, insignificant me rather than the strongest magical girl.

"So I was really grateful. Truly."

That's why I don't want to let you go. I wish you could stay by my side.

Just imagining you smiling beside someone other than me makes my chest ache.

I had only just learned to stand on my own, and now I had to let you go.

I had only just learned what I wanted to do, and now you wouldn't be by my side.

I hate it.

I really hate it.

But more than that, I want the angel to be happy.

I don't want you to be unhappy. I don't want you to be in pain.

So.

"Thank you."

Before I become obsessed with you, I'll let you go.

So you won't suffer from being trapped in my grasp.

I hugged the angel tightly with a smile.

Perhaps she had been moved by such an insignificant confession, because the angel covered her mouth with both hands and trembled all over.

I was so grateful for that that I hugged the angel a little tighter.

* * *

A hundred points, a hundred points, a hundred points, a hundred points…!

One, ten, hundred, thousand, ten thousand points…!!

Squeeze…

The warmth of her heart was coming directly to me.

The angel who was supposed to shower love on others was receiving love instead.

'Uuuh, uuuugh…! Hnnngh…!'

Flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash

If the halo hadn't been flashing like a star cluster, hundreds of flashbangs would have gone off outside the bathroom by now.

Looking at the halo now, wasn't it a cluster of supernovas circling around rather than a cluster of stars?

'She's too sublime…!'

Ms. Seo-ah, at this rate, I'm going to heaven…!