Chapter 42
"Everyone, konpairet. I'm Mare Pirate-chan, Wakamo Corporation's naval VTuber!"
The day after successfully wrecking the collab, Pirate turned on an ordinary stream as a VTuber.
She hadn't been invited into the territory where Wakamo lived, but she hadn't thought she could simply enter so easily anyway.
First of all, wasn't trust the most important thing?
Even a Japanese artisan learns sushi by watching over a master's shoulder for thirty years.... Since she was a brilliant elite Climber, one year should be enough.
She continued studying VTubers even after her streams ended, and although she hadn't wanted to, she contacted her older brother and asked him about it. Contrary to her worries, he gave her all sorts of advice.
He told her about copyright-free music she could use on stream, karaoke programs that let her sing, microphone and audio settings, and so on.... She found herself thinking that professionals who had been VTubing for years really were different.
She had thought of him as a pathetic older brother who couldn't even do karate and had run away, but was he different in his field of expertise...?
"Listeners! Have a wonderful day today too! Welcome to all the new sailors! Welcome aboard Pirate's ship!"
-Rookie! Get your ass over here!!
-Once you board this ship, you can never disembark again.
-There has to be a captain on the Flying Dutchman....
-More importantly, do you have a ship??
-Of course she does. Probably a warship.
-That other pirate doesn't even have a shipㅋㅋㅋㅋ
-That one's a cosplay pirateㅋㅋㅋㅋ
-We're still in our vibrant twenties over here!!
-The way she acts reminds me of that guy from Gimhae.
The viewers were already making a racket as soon as they entered. Pirate had written that her listeners' fan name was "Sailors."
Wakamo Corporation was unusual in that it did not particularly insist on having its members write detailed profiles or anything like that. Was it because they intended to overwhelm everyone with overwhelming character appeal? It was a distinctive trait befitting the only Climber VTuber company with the theme(?) of realistic VTubers.
"Come on in, everyone. I've prepared something you guys like!"
Anyway, Pirate boldly declared that she had prepared a game for otaku(?) and that they could look forward to it.
With a click, the Steam client appeared on-screen, and the viewers could not contain their amazement as they saw all kinds of games filling the library.
-How many eroge are there, fuck!!!
-My friend, how did you recognize that the moment you saw it?
-There are things here you can't even get in Korea....
-Fuck, so One Piece was here all along!!
-580 games in the eroge category??
-Are you the Hong Gil-dong of eroge?
"This is what you guys like, right?"
-Damn it, I can't refute that.
-No, you're not actually going to play an eroge, are you???
-How is the first-stream game an eroge?
-That's illegal in Korea!!!
-It's illegal in Japan too.
-The laws of the nation are meaningless before the "Justice of the Navy"!!
-Whewㅋㅋ I almost mistook her for a pirate~
In the meantime, Pirate casually scrolled down and clicked on a game featuring overly beastly girls flaunting their breasts.
The moment they saw it, the viewers frantically tried to stop her and demanded to know whether she was really going to play it. But seeing her reaction, a quick-witted viewer shouted, "This bitch hasn't even turned on the translator!!"
But perhaps it was a blessing in disguise...?
The game failed to launch after a warning appeared saying it could not be played in that country. Immediately afterward, a message appeared asking her to verify her identity because it seemed she had logged in from overseas. Pirate tilted her body dramatically, looking disappointed.
"No! My cute animal friends!"
-No, they're not cute.
-It's really an eroge!!!!
-Please, at least turn on the age restriction before playing it!!
"But my brother said it was fine as long as I didn't turn on adult mode. They say Korea is a Confucian country, but do they ban masturbation too?"
-What? What did you say?
-Aaargh!! I can't take this!!
-No, hold it in, fuck.
-Fapfapfapfap.
-That's the most shocking thing I've ever heard from a woman....
-Please think before you speak....
-This seafaring macho woman with no brakes is insane....
As she belatedly turned on the translator and read the viewers' reactions, Pirate tilted her head and wondered whether it wasn't fine as long as there was no direct nudity or erotic scene. But her brother had said he turned it on because men liked lewd things.
Although he had said there was nothing that could make her famous like sex jokes, she was an ordinary person and had far too little common sense.
She had learned how far a VTuber could descend into the dark side, including the truly forbidden Tenshouin Kiara from Octopus Inc. and genuine "dark-side" VTubers who existed in Japan but could not be seen in Korea. So she thought playing an eroge should be allowed, right?
"No, but still? They don't even sell erotic books in bookstores... Korea is so uptight...."
-Ah, why am I suddenly crying....
-I'm an adult, watashi... why... can't I watch anything lewd...?
-You're trying to naturally become extinct.
-The internet has both friends and porn!!
-Since it has come to this, should we go all the way to the archive?
"Then just get a girlfriend, right?"
-Take that back, you bastard!!
-What?
-If we could do that, would we be like this?!
-Sob sob, I've never held a girl's hand in my life....
-Aaargh!! Japan is torturing Joseon people!!
-What is romance.... Is it something you eat...?
-I don't even know how to meet women....
"A man's dream never ends!!! So what if you move forward while being laughed at? Exercise and work hard. You sailors can do it! Let's lower your standards a little."
-We've already lowered them and ended up here.
-Since we were lowering them anyway, we dropped down another dimensionㅋㅋㅋ
-Why is the captain so loud?
-Because I have to give orders on a ship.
-You don't need a microphone.
-Our blue navy pirate crew only needs to look at the captain.
"Besides, they say a man becomes a wizard if he's still a virgin at thirty, right? You're not? Then you're not a virgin! Wow, that's totally Lucky Vicky☆!"
Pirate winked and wiggled her fingers, wearing an expression so vacant that she seemed completely unaware of any problem with what she had said.
Her stupid face was so mind-numbing that even the sailors reached the point where they simply gave up and enjoyed it.
They had gone beyond correcting the captain and were now simply laughing uproariously while preparing to spread her quotes throughout the community.
"Now, do you like Pirate? Then look at cute, sexy, provocative Pirate! Koreans like school uniforms too, right? It's a cute sailor uniform!"
-Ah, yes.
-There's absolutely no sex appeal....
-No matter how strange our fetishes are, monkeys are a bit much....
-Did you just call Japanese people monkeys?
-Please save us!!
-How is Ichigo the only sane one among the members?
"I still want to play a game. Actually, the account belongs to my brother, you know? He lent it to me when I said I was debuting as a VTuber. Now, there are all these eroge you can't see in Korea! Come to Pirate's stream and take a look at them! Wow, what's this pixel game? Futanari Dungeon? What does futanari mean? Should I not?"
-Don't do anything and take your hands off the controls!!!
-Every single thing she says gives the sailors chills.
-No, why are we scared when this isn't even a horror game, fuckㅋㅋㅋ
-She's publicly executing her brother!!! She's hanging him on the internet!!!
-The little sister is trying to kill her older brother!!
"Why not? A man can play an eroge, right? My brother sways his butt and meows in front of men. You could call him a professional in the VTuber industry, you know? Anyway... I feel sorry for Koreans because they can't even play erotic games.... Should Pirate buy some in Japan and give them to the sailors? Japanese-imported erotic manga!"
-Does the navy sell erotica these days?
-A new form of export. This will definitely succeed.
-Koreans who used to smuggle it in illegally are screwedㅋㅋㅋ
-Hey! The navy is conducting a raid!!!
-Then where do you watch lewd stuff?
-I hear the navy sells it.
-Whoa~ stealing someone else's spotㅋㅋㅋ
-What on earth does her brother do....
"Now, now, I've studied a lot! I heard that in Korea you call listeners money receptacles. Hey, money receptacles!"
-Sister?
-No, fuck, where does she get this information?
-Not one piece of it is normal....
-The internet really is dangerous~
-Now I understand why people tell you not to use computers~
"Where did I learn it? An otaku site! It's blue, so it matches the navy nicely, don't you think?"
-That's a very familiar blue site. Should we say it's the lesser evil??
-It's Korea's biggest gaming community, so there's no problem. None whatsoever.
-This is the Koreans' fault....
-Auntie... stop drinking and do something about this young lady....
-Korea is ruining people.
-Stop using internet communities!!!!
-We've lived long enough to find ourselves saying this!!
"I heard this from across the sea.... They say an orca's dick gets posted here every night!! Along with zebra mating!! Don't you want to see it???"
-I don't want to see it....
-Why on earth does something like that exist?
-What do these bastards even live looking at?
-I'm going insane. This is driving me crazy!!
-More importantly, Captain! Something's making noise right now. What are you doing?
"Well, I'm a captain who came from across the sea, after all~ So I wanted to show the sailors food more expensive than beef brought over from Japan. Let's look at it while we eat!"
Pirate was conducting a surprisingly proper VTuber stream(?) and skillfully turned on the camera. Perhaps fortunately... or perhaps unfortunately, the sailors, who had been worried about her being a klutz in every possible way, screamed when the screen filled with a horrifying sight of food.
"Koreans mix their food together too, right? Ta-da, this is hebomeshi. Koreans like bees too, right? It's stir-fried bees!! And these are stonefly larvae. They taste like shrimp. As a side dish, we have soy-sauce-braised grasshoppers. I think it's fascinating that Korea eats insects too. Beondegi? I bought some!"
-Aaaaaaargh!!!
-Hey, those are bees!!!
-This isn't bibimbap!!!
-Please put on the animal dick and mating clips instead!!!!
-This isn't right, this isn't right, this isn't right!!
-Just eat mint chocolate instead!!!
The pitiful remains of the bees and the dried-up larvae filled the screen atop a bed of snow-white rice.
And that was not all; the bowl also contained braised grasshoppers.
Beside it sat a can of beondegi bought from a convenience store. The sailors, confronted with a meal they never could have imagined, went beyond frenzy and fell into panic amid seizures.
"It's good because it has lots of protein. It's delicious because it's expensive! And I'm allergic to mint, so I can't eat mint chocolate. They say you pour McCol over mint chocolate and eat it? I don't know how you can eat that~ Anyway, we need to add something sweet, so we'll put in candy and mix it together."
-?????????
-Why are you putting candy in it!!!
-No, fuck, more importantly, you're putting the wrapper in too!!!
"Huh? Isn't it okay to eat the plastic around candy too?"
-What?
-Does this child even know what common sense is?
-Uuugh... uuugh....
-I want my mom... waah....
"In Japan, it's made from starch... I guess it's not in Korea.... Then we'll leave out the candy. I also learned how to make somaek! Korea has such a nice culture."
Before the sailors could say anything, a bucket popped up on the screen.
Pirate opened a beer bottle and a soju bottle, poured them into the bucket at a one-to-one ratio, and mixed them together. Then she giggled excitedly, lifted the bucket, spun it around, and gulped everything down.
"Burp."
Then the empty bucket dropped with a thud.
-....?? How did you drink that in a few seconds...?
-You'll die if you gulp it down like that!!
-That's not what somaek is!!!
-Please, manager!! Manager, what are you doing!!!!
-What the fuck did you bring back from Japan!!!
-This is Japan's scheme!!!
-Don't burp directly into the microphone!!!
"Oh, right. I heard you can't mix raw eggs into rice in Korea? Well, eating things raw isn't good for your body!!"
-That isn't the problem with eating it raw.
-Can we really call this eating the stream raw...?
-I just got here. Is this a punishment stream?
-No, this is normal operation.
-Sorry, I'm going to leave.
-Once you board, you're a slave of our ship.
-Are we really Joseon slaves aboard a Japanese captain's ship...?
-At least she probably won't feed us mint chocolate.
-I'd rather eat that.
Ignoring the sailors' desperate cries, screams, and pleas, Pirate continued her own kind of stream. Along with the sound of her chewing insects, she drank soju straight from the bottle like water without even getting drunk, continuing her time chatting with the viewers.
In Korea, you're not supposed to eat candy with the wrapper on, and you're not supposed to eat raw eggs either.
"The sailors are all so kind, so Captain is happy~"
As she said that, Pirate poured soju and beer into the bucket, mixed them together, tossed in a lemon, and drank it.
After finishing a satisfying and filling meal, she immediately clicked on a page, saying she would explore Korean internet communities.
"Wow! Orca dick! It's huge!!"
-What the hell is the manager doing!!!
-Aaaaaaagh!! Aaaaaaagh!!!
-The Japanese woman has released poison into the stream!!
-Save me, master!! Save me!!!
※※※
"Jingus, t'ankoo for coming to see Ichigo today too."
She wore a smile that seemed almost mocking, and her red eyes were chilling at first glance. But her voice was beyond soft and gentle—it was unbelievably cute.
As though it were simply part of her daily routine, she turned on her hand camera again today, with the words "Hajime Ichigo's Korean Study, Day 24" written in the corner.
Ichigo could not even hold a pencil properly, but she diligently traced letters in an elementary-school Korean workbook.
"Ppeojju... jjattongjja... ttureok...."
-Aw, our Ichigo's doing so well.
-Is it okay if I give her advice on how to hold a pencil?
-Enough!! We need to raise the child with love!!!
-Are you trying to discourage our Ichigo right now?
-Should I activate Bankai and kill you???
Ichigo struggled hard as she wrote, asking the viewers, "How do I read this?" and repeatedly thanking them while studying with all her might.
"[What did you eat this morning?]"
"Wha did I eat for brekfast today"
-I'm eating Ichigo's love.
-Aw, look how cute she is... study while you eat....
-I don't have much money, but I'll chip in because I want to give her an allowance....!!
-She probably earns more money than we do!!
-So you're not going to give her any?
-I already did.
-ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
"Jingus, t'ankoo. I buy a sketchbook wif da money."
-Oh, good girl, is that so?
-What is she drawing right now?
"Jingus?"
Ichigo showed them a picture she had drawn in her sketchbook because she wanted to draw the friends who were so kind to her. It was so poorly drawn that it was almost impossible to understand, but the warm chat filled with messages when they saw the traces of her effort to write "friends" properly.
"Every day, on the bus going to school~ I see her sitting in the same seat every time~♪"
-Who on earth requested a song like this?
-The manager.
-No, why is the manager watching this stream?
-Did you abandon Pirateㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
-Not the manager—the Association chairman.
-What?
A song stream followed immediately after she finished studying Korean.
Ichigo's character swayed from side to side as she sang into the microphone, while her friends waved glow sticks in the chat.
"I practiced a lot for my jingus!"
-I'm so happy... I'm so, so happy!!
-Ichigo even sings birthday songs. She's the best.
-Hajime-chan sings anything you ask her to.
-Her expression looks like she's about to scold usㅋㅋㅋ Why is she so kindㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
Ichigo sang twelve songs—enough to be more than fulfilling, almost enough to leave them stuffed. Afterward, she went into the fan café, looked at the drawings people had made of her one by one, and pressed a heart on each of them. The way she diligently picked them up one at a time was like a kitten gathering its favorite stuffed toys, and drawings began pouring in one after another.
She was startled, her eyes widening as she shook as though an earthquake had struck. But then she smiled and said, "T'ankoo~!" happily picking up drawings with all her might.
She carefully looked through request posts asking her to see them for about two hours, replying to each one by typing comments in the Korean she had diligently learned, using hunt-and-peck typing.
Because posts from friends desperate to receive something from her flooded the forum, the only posts more numerous than Wakamo's VTuber posts were posts about Ichigo.
"Let's play a geeem!!"
Finally, Ichigo turned on [PUBG: Battlefield of the Players] and [Helldivers 2], playing with her friends while communicating over the microphone. With her excellent orders, outstanding marksmanship, a Climber's physical abilities, and her own sharp hearing, she reacted quickly to every situation and easily secured victories at difficulties that should have been challenging even to win.
"My jingus are the best! T'ankoo for playing with me."
"[Please call me again, sob....]"
"[Thank you for playing with me too....]"
"[U-tya-tya tu-tya-tya... tu-tya tu....]"
-These guys' brains are meltingㅋㅋㅋㅋ
-They have good reason to meltㅋㅋㅋ
-No matter how badly she plays, Ichigo never swears....
-But Pirate made even that Ichigo lose her patience and split someone's head open....
-At this point, isn't Pirate the bad guy?
Wakamo Corporation was putting on two broadcasts that were complete and utterly opposite extremes as it recruited a new madwoman... no, a new VTuber.
If Ichigo's stream was so warm and wholesome that you did not want to leave,
Pirate was showing a stream of madness that could not be seen anywhere else in Korea.
Since she was a Climber supported by the governments of both Korea and Japan, the stream did not get cut off even when she half crossed the line and ran wild.
And the manager had given up and was watching Ichigo's stream instead.
They had not known each other long, but seeing the trash piled up in the room prepared for her at the studio, it was already safe to say that she was a lost cause as a human being.
Meanwhile.
Their boss, their spiritual pillar, and the one who neglected them enough to let them become VTubers on their own, Wakamo Inarizushi, also turned on her stream.
-? Why are you wearing that today, streamer?
-It is pretty, but... weren't you going to climb the Tower?
-Now that there are two more members, have you decided to become a clipper?
-It is pretty, but are you sure it's okay to wear that...?
Her believers were strangely worried. And understandably so: Wakamo always insisted on wearing oversized, fluttering sleeves and an old outfit that might have been a kimono or might have been a hanbok. They said a VTuber character did not need to change clothes, but perhaps she had changed her mind and decided to change outfits because she was now a major corporation?
"Greetings, greetings! I am Wakamo Inarizushi! I am your idol! I grant you an audience! Hello, hello, hello!"
Wakamo's energy was strangely high today.
"Today, I thought I'd quickly climb five floors!!"
At that utterly absurd answer, her believers could only float question marks above their heads.
Dressed up prettily in a frilly shirt and even a skirt, as if heading out on a picnic, why was she so cheerful about climbing five whole floors of the Tower?
Surprisingly, Wakamo wasn't in high spirits right now—she was anxious.
"Lady Wakamo! I parked on the 25th floor of Incheon too!!"
Mare Pirate had told her that she'd climbed all the way to the 25th floor of the Incheon Tower within two days of arriving, so it was great that they could climb together─!
She might not look it, but she was the daughter of the Fist King and a Climber with a record of conquering a 40-floor Tower.
She explained that although the difficulty had gone up a little, there were even guides that accounted for the difficulty rising with the number of Tower clears, so it hadn't been hard.
In other words, since she wasn't aiming for full-clear floors and had simply followed the guides up, it had been fast!!
Which meant that right now, both Ichigo and Pirate were waiting for Wakamo on the 25th floor.
A boss who keeps her own VTubers waiting...?
"If I can't make it to the 25th floor today, I'm committing seppuku."
-Huh..?
-And there she goes again.
-Don't try to understand, believer. Just accept it.