Chapter 46
"Today's stream is~ we're all watching Wapiece together!!"
Saying that, Pirate turned on Wapiece.
-No, why the fuck are you playing this.
-Don't show off Korea's shame like this!!!
-Where the hell did you find this!!!
-You actually managed to find the one that only has Episode 1ㅋㅋㅋㅋ
"Huh? But it says they're the Turtle Ship Pirates."
-Oh.
-Oh.
-Oh.
-Seriously? That was the premise??
-I didn't want to know that, fuckㅋㅋㅋㅋ
"Wow! So we're copycats too, then! But I'm Navy, so there's no problem!"
-There are a fuckload of problems.
-It would be a problem even if this were the Navy.
-Why are you saying that with your head thrown back and your tongue sticking out?
-A broadcast that lowers your IQ just by watching it...
"Hmm, hmm, wait..... This is it, right?"
While Pirate confidently searched for it on YouTube and played Episode 1, the manager logged into an anime site, paid for it, and put on the original version. It even had subtitles, so the crew had no significant trouble watching it.
"You know, I'm going to blow you away, right?"
"Wow, what the... Did he climb onto an oak barrel and ride it? I like his boldness!"
Watching it stretch longer and longer like rubber, Pirate—just to prevent any misunderstandings—warned everyone not to imitate it. Ichigo's potions only made things stretch freely, while the elasticity that returned them to their original shape came from the effect of Pirate's own [Skill].
-Even if you told us to, we wouldn't imitate itㅋㅋㅋ
-No, who the hell would imitate that!!
-But kids might watch this and imitate it, thoughㅇㅇ
-Right. If kids see this and become [Alchemists], Korea will suffer.
-The captain should take responsibility and apologize.
"It's your lack of talent keeping you from becoming a [Wizard], though?"
-Captain: "Ichigo has no talent."
-I shudder at that insane declaration of conviction....
-The nationwide Alchemists are wailing.
-She really only missed magic by a hair, and now she's stuck fighting cauldrons like a witch in the modern world. Is this really okay...?
"Anyway, this is fun! Mungemunge? The Navy rival character is really cool too! He's totally my type! Hmm.... He becomes incredibly active later, right? Crew? Why are you all laughing without saying anything?"
Then, while watching how the Navy vice admiral's ability worked—a character who had a decent presence early on but gradually became a laughingstock until his presence had recently faded into obscurity—Pirate rubbed her chin and thought, I could make use of this.
-No, she has a more cartoonish ability than anyone else, and this is what she says?
-Don't ignore twenty thousand years of otaku history!!!
-At the very least, watch X-Men....
-It's even more amazing that she uses her ability that much without watching all of this.
"I don't know why everyone's giving me shit. Oh, right! You told me to watch that masterpiece alchemist series with Ichigo, didn't you? I watched it. It wasn't very interesting... The CG was kind of cheap, too. Japanese movies are all pretty similar, but I couldn't figure out why this was considered a masterpiece."
-Fuck, don't watch the live-action adaptation!!!
-Ahㅋㅋㅋ ah ㅋㅋㅋ ah!!!!
-Look at the crew losing their mindsㅋㅋㅋ
-Our enlightenment level is dropping in real time, goddammit.
-No, there's no way she watched the live-action adaptation and then said that....
"Anyway, pirates are bad. I looked them up online, and apparently the Straw Hat Pirates make money through human trafficking."
-She doesn't listen to the crew at all!!! She only looks at the internet!!!!
-What the hell are we to the captain!!!!
-That's not true, that's not true, that's not true, that's not true.
-Haha, this room is on fire again today.
-Every single thing she says is a gem...
"Speaking of illegal things. Do you know Kabukicho? I was walking there, and a... tout from a host club was soliciting customers. I wanted to experience various things in life, so I went.... Ah, I immediately felt like I'd wasted my time. A man coddling you at a host club... It wasn't horny enough."
-Huh?
-No, what is she even talking about? I don't understand a word...
-A tout?? Why are the words she uses so....
-Is the captain really Navy??
-Why the hell would you go to a host club just because you were curious!!!
-The captain is such a super-social butterfly that she even went all the way to Kabukicho.
-Didn't she go because there was pachinko there?
-Surely not?
"I did go to pachinko, though? Being coddled is a thrill... I mean, it doesn't give me enough dopamine. The pleasure you get at a moment of crisis in your life. The feeling of your brain melting as your money melts away.... That sensation when one big hit goes off is the real deal. It might honestly be better than jerking off. These days, it's a little disappointing because they record everything on cards instead of giving you balls. There was something satisfying about piling them up like a mountain and watching the people who couldn't win anything."
-I... I see....
-I shuddered at the bottomless darkness.
-No, her brain is pickled in dopamine.
-You need this kind of mentality to use [Shape Transformation].
-The longer the conversation goes on, the more insane the crew becomes.
-They're holding back because they don't have the confidence to be crazier than this woman.
-Amazingly, this VTuber works for the government.
-Korea is doomed. I'm moving to Japan.
-That includes the Japanese government. Go to China, bro.
-I'll just reenlist.
-Ahㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
Once they tuned in, the crew fell into the indescribable flavor of Mare Pirate's madness, so they preferred her chatting streams.
It wasn't that she talked about the pain or suffering of getting beaten while learning karate. She simply said that the more she got beaten, the more she could legally beat people up in return.
They could only marvel at how a Climber's mentality really was different.
"It's a shame women can't enlist in the military. When I hear my dad talk about how brutal the training was when he was in the Self-Defense Forces, I want to do it too.... When I ran three laps around Mount Fuji in a week. When the human body is pushed to its absolute limit. The alcohol you drink then is incredible. I really went into shock and was hospitalized."
-Yes.?
-No, the water... The water....
-Please, no more....
-This is the first madwoman I've seen who wants to enlist in the military.
-I wanted to become a martial god like my father....
-Surely you don't already wish to drink?!
"Every day would be fine...!"
Hiss─
With that, Pirate took a drink.
Claiming that beer was far too weak to get her drunk, she once again tried to open her brother's account and launch an erotic game, only for the manager to stop her.
Bubble, bubble─
Ichigo was doing an alchemy hand-cam stream today. She was diligently making all kinds of potions.
She had made them into pills, rolling them around and fidgeting with them─but she was also sorting the potions into those that worked well and poorly when made into pills.
Although she could check the description of a created item without drinking it, she could not know how it worked until she actually consumed it.
[Sweet Firebomb] exploded when thrown, so there was no particular problem with making it into a pill.
In the case of [Sweet Fire Potion], however, it was better to drink it as a potion rather than make it into a pill.
The problem was that drinking it set her stomach and esophagus on fire, but Wakamo used it casually to breathe fire.
Since pills did not take effect as immediately as potions, Ichigo was sorting them like that.
For the time being, Ichigo's poison should work on almost any living creature as long as she fed it to them.
The problem was simply that, since it was contained in a potion bottle, the bottle had to break first.
Now that she had a new option in the form of pills that could cover that weakness, she was experimenting with making shape-changing potions such as [Rapid Freeze Potion] and [Rapid Metal Transformation Potion] into pills that were easier to throw.
[Concrete Expansion Potion], [Magma Fire Powder], [Blind Moth's Poison Powder], and so on. She could even make explosives like dynamite, so Ichigo planned to practice sniping with the rifle slingshot she had bought after the stream ended.
"Mmm...."
After making [Petrification Potion] with a recipe provided by the Climbers' Association and finishing with the trial-made [Mana Leakage Potion] and [Rainbow Luminescence Potion], she ended the stream.
"This is really flashy! We could use it at a festival, hey!!"
When Pirate, who had been invited for drug experiments, drank the [Rainbow Luminescence Potion], she began flashing noisily in colorful hues.
It produced light meant to provoke monsters. It emitted a light so bright that looking straight at it hurt the eyes, so Ichigo handed her an antidote.
[Mana Leakage Potion] continuously released Mana until its effect wore off, so it had many possible uses.
When Wakamo tried it, smoke poured out of her at nearly the level of a steam room, and Ichigo hurriedly handed her an antidote.
Meanwhile, Pirate drank [Petrification Potion] and played statue.
She also drank [Chocolate Deadly Poison Potion] without permission, causing her muscles to dissolve and melt, then used that to turn her arm into a sword and play around.
Ichigo, who conducted her experiments while following safety procedures, grabbed the back of her neck and punched Pirate, but Pirate split her head in half like water to evade the blow, despite her muscles having melted, and laughed uproariously at her truly horrifying appearance.
"Isn't this that Parasite X thing...?"
"Shinichi! It's one of us! I saw the movie! It was fun, right!"
Pirate made eyes and a mouth on her palm and performed ventriloquism. Using the eyes and mouth that were supposed to be on her face was nothing short of horrifying.
When Wakamo retreated far away and hid in a corner, Pirate drank an antidote and returned to normal.
Even this was only possible because Pirate was a master of [Shape Transformation].
Normally, this would have been a human experiment that ended in death.
Of course, Ichigo was blameless. Pirate drank it on her own because she thought it was delicious!!
"H-how do you do that sh-shape transformation?"
"Because I am a super-elite Navy officer."
"Drop dead!"
After briefly bickering with Pirate and checking the coating potions she had bought for use, Ichigo prepared for the next floor. Watching her, Pirate also stretched, then sat in seiza in the corner of the studio and began meditating on what to do about the next floor.
And Wakamo was also thinking about various things.
As before, she was thinking about whether there was any way to make better use of the [Skills] she possessed.
'When I transform into a Turtle Ship, the Mana consumption is too high.'
Using the [VTuber Model] skill also required Mana.
Transforming into the model labeled [Loli Wakamo] had the benefit of reduced Mana consumption, but it was far too impractical in combat.
Having short arms and legs honestly offered not a single advantage.
Her target area would be smaller and her body lighter, so she could simply fight a little harder, but─when she transformed into a [Turtle Ship], it had been truly terrifying.
She could not even tell which parts of her body were arms and legs, or where her head was.
She could move whenever she wanted and breathe fire from the dragon's head, but honestly, that was all.
On top of that, Mana kept draining even while she stood still, and transforming did not increase her defense, either!!
She had even taken damage when a rider landed on her deck, so what more was there to say?
[Idol's Body] could be reshaped freely just by concentrating and willing it, but [VTuber Model] could not do that. It was as if anything whose form was fixed by a [VTuber Asset] could not be changed no matter what she did.
'Then what if the [Idol's Body] clone had a weapon like a sword from the beginning?'
She could already turn her hands into swords, but wouldn't it be more advantageous to have actual weapons?
Considering that she could still feel and move even after parts of her body were cut off, she decided to prepare several models in advance.
'I shouldn't have made a [Duel Disk]. I really regret it.. I shouldn't have done it just because I got swept up in the atmosphere. What am I supposed to use this for? Should I project an illusion with [Idol's Form] in Incheon Plaza and hold a Duel tournament...?'
[Idol's Lion] was something she needed to try as well, but if she was going to make it, wouldn't it be better to invest plenty of [Stats] into it?
That meant she had no choice but to climb the Kyoto Tower in Japan.
'They say there's going to be a Kyoto White Fox & Black Wolf collab event too, so I should go soon.'
After checking the dates, looking over the schedule, and carefully reviewing the VTubers' broadcast schedules, Wakamo booked plane tickets in advance, informed the manager of her plans, and turned on her VTuber broadcast.
If possible, she wanted to climb all the way to Floor 30 in one go tomorrow.
'Whoa... There was an article titled [Is an internet broadcast exploiting underage Climbers really okay?].... I mean, climbing does involve a threat to one's life, right...? Should I tell Ichigo...?'
As she worried and thought she'd text the manager too, every related article disappeared within three minutes.
Huh? I only wanted to ask for advice.
Right afterward, she wanted to ask whether the manager's message saying the "journalist" had been taken care of was a typo, but she lacked the courage and gave up.
※※※
"Otsu-yayo~"
The three-person collab began with the three of them striking what they each considered to be cool poses.
Pirate wore a Navy coat of unknown origin with the word Justice emblazoned on it. Ichigo stood in a pose that seemed to be trying to express... something. And Wakamo stood in the center with her arms crossed. It was a scene where not a single person looked sane.
On the previous floor, Pirate had learned one new [Skill], while Ichigo had simply gathered materials and used them to make potions.
Wakamo also thought it would be better to bring something rather than go empty-handed, so she brought [Chain Devil's Chain] and wrapped it around her arm. In addition, she carried [Silver Moonlight] on her back in case she was unable to use the chain.
-You came much more thoroughly prepared than last time...
-No, why are you carrying an ore aroundㅋㅋㅋ
-She has no inventory, so she can't help it....
-There's a reason [Alchemists] obsess over optimization.
-Can't you just throw it?
-Ahㅋㅋㅋ That's trueㅋㅋㅋㅋ
"All right, don't forget the safety slogan before we all go in."
""Yeah""
-Wait, do we do this every time?
-Isn't that obvious? Are you unemployed?
-Would you call me the king of beasts?
-A fox should be king here, so piss off.
-Kyaㅋㅋㅋㅋ
-The reason we're called "pros" is because we don't rush in recklessly.
-Of course. We're pros.
-What if we get hurt doing that?
-That is, so to speak, nothing more than collateral damage. An unavoidable sacrifice for military purposes.
-"No accidents, ever."
After reciting the safety slogan and clapping three times, Wakamo's party finished preparing.
They climbed with the attitude that whether it was the sea, being dropped from the sky, or being rolled across a glacier─anything could come at them. In an instant, a battlefield engulfed in flames appeared before them.
Armored skeletons lay scattered in every direction. Trees burned endlessly. The sky was blood-red, and the clouds were black.
The grotesque, alien scene shocked the viewers, and Wakamo and Ichigo were shocked as well when they entered─but Pirate alone hardened her expression as though she recognized it.
"The boss of the Osaka Tower's Floor 50, which even the Fist King struggled against...! The Warrior Who Never Returns!!"
Something that was far too corpse-like to be called human stood there. It wore Japanese-style samurai armor, had three Japanese swords at its waist, and held a long-bladed weapon called a naginata in one hand.
They recognized that the object in its other hand was a matchlock gun the moment it aimed the muzzle at them, so they were not caught off guard.
[Currently climbing the Incheon Tower Floor 28 world]
-A trial befitting mighty Climbers will be given.
-Join forces and overcome it together.
-Defeat the [Elite Boss Monster]!
[Platinum Completion Conditions]
-Defeat the [Frenzied Warrior Who Never Returns] (0/1)
Clatter──!!
This was the boss monster that even the Fist King had struggled against, as his daughter herself had said. It was unknown what it had been like when facing the Fist King, but here it was even an elite.
A chain uncoiled from Wakamo's sleeve and shot out, batting away the incoming bullet. It did not stop there; the chain shot forward again, but the Warrior Who Never Returns threw out his naginata to wrap around it and pulled Wakamo toward him.
However, when she did not budge at all, he immediately abandoned the naginata and drew the Japanese sword from his waist with both hands.
Pew, pew─!
Ichigo immediately fired pills from her slingshot. They exploded one after another, sending up fierce blasts and flames, but the Warrior Who Never Returns was unharmed.
She quickly changed ammunition and tried to freeze the surrounding area─but frowned as the ice pathetically melted under the blazing field.
[Lava Flame] created from [Magma Fire Powder] made into pills burned and flowed, but the Warrior Who Never Returns calmly walked through it.
"All fire-attribute attacks are nullified, status effects don't work, and magic attacks don't work either!!"
-What kind of fucking bullshit bastard is this.
-They really combined every shitty trait they could find ㄷ...
-No, is this really okay? Why is it so damn shittyㅋㅋ
After shouting that, Pirate transformed into mist, charged forward, leaped, and dove in, but Wakamo wrapped a chain around her waist and pulled her backward.
At the same time, a swift slash cut through the air.
".....!"
Pulling the pale-faced Pirate backward, Wakamo gripped [Kusanagi's Sword] and charged.
The Warrior Who Never Returns threw away the gun in its hand and drew its sword, gripping it with both hands in the face of the enormous fox giant bearing down on it.
Flames flickered up between its armor, and its sword arced toward Wakamo at a speed that left afterimages.
Wakamo poured in Mana to strengthen herself in the same way and met the attack head-on.
Because her stance made her impossible to push back, no matter how hard they pressed, the one who gave way was the Warrior Who Never Returns.
Although it looked undead, it possessed remarkable intelligence. Rather than engage in a contest of strength, it attacked Wakamo with fast, nimble movements, swinging its sword as though dancing around her, and Wakamo began tracking every movement with her eyes and parrying each sword strike.
To an outsider, it looked exactly like two sword masters risking their lives in a duel to determine the superior fighter!
The sad reality, however, was that Wakamo's Kusanagi's Sword had no edge and could not cut!!
But it did not matter if she was not the one in the spotlight, so Wakamo was simply buying time.
It unleashed dozens of unknown attack skills, but they were ultimately all sword-based attacks.
Wakamo ignored anything she could not parry by blocking it with her body, clinging to the enemy tenaciously like a berserker.
"Got it!!"
Armor made from [Alchemy-Metal Transformation] and [Alchemy-Artistic Modeling]: Silver Moonlight armor.
Inside it, Pirate struck a fighting pose with all her might.
"Ichigo! Give us the signal!"
"Taaam zabong! Nakarat!"
"Chabong, Pirate! Here we go! Ugogogo!!"
A silver suit of armor charged toward the vicious battle between the swordsmen, where the exchanges were so fierce that there seemed to be no opening to join in. Behind the charging Pirate, Ichigo turned the remaining Silver Moonlight into a spear, gripped it, and chased after her.
Ichigo tossed [Concrete Expansion Potion] and the newly made [Rapid Earth Transformation Potion] through the gap between the silver armor's legs. The Warrior Who Never Returns tried to cut them down quickly, but before it could swing its sword, another chain shot from its sleeve, wrapped around the blade, and pulled it away by force.
Its hand moved to draw the one remaining sword, while the earth heaved and square pillars burst upward, pinning the Warrior Who Never Returns's legs and restricting its movement. Expanding concrete covered the pillars.
Flash─
But even if it could not move, it did not seem to care. A sword that left afterimages, seeming to multiply into dozens of blades, struck at Wakamo.
The Warrior Who Never Returns possessed a passive [Enhancement-type Skill] that grew faster and more destructive the longer it fought─and as an elite, it had even been afflicted with [Berserk], sending it into a rampage.
The space beyond the reach of its sword was sliced and shaved away, and Pirate leaped off Wakamo's shoulder as she took the slashes with her body to keep them from reaching Ichigo.
"There is no martial art that counters an attack from above!!!"
The Warrior Who Never Returns dodged her falling kick as though it were laughable, then one sword pierced her chest while another swung in and pierced Pirate's head before being pulled straight out.
"....!!"
What appeared was an empty suit of armor.
Without time to panic, the headless armor moved, gripped the Warrior Who Never Returns's sword, and used [Metal Transformation] to transfer it onto both arms and attach it there.
"Magic not working only applies to the body! Weapons work just fine!!"
Pirate had assimilated into the armor itself through [Fusion Assimilation].
In effect, the Warrior Who Never Returns had merely pierced an empty suit of armor.
It tried to swing the remaining sword, but when Wakamo stepped in and blocked it, the Warrior Who Never Returns boldly abandoned the weapon, clenched both fists, and took up a stance.
As the Warrior Who Never Returns escaped the restraints Ichigo had created and charged in with a kick, Pirate flexibly dodged it and swung the sword in her hand to attack. To support her, Ichigo slid across the sheet of ice she had created and threw a metal plate from her waist.
With a crackle─, it transformed in midair and stretched into a long metal spear. It could not pierce the body, but.
Thunk!
It was enough to stop the Warrior Who Never Returns from swinging its arm at Ichigo.
Ichigo slowed the incoming kick with an earthen wall raised by transforming the ground, then leaped with her high Agility and barely dodged it.
As the armor charged at the Warrior Who Never Returns after its kick had committed it to a wide motion, a hand blade swung wide and cut the armor in half as though it were a sword.
"Zehahaha─"
But it had only discarded its shell.
Pirate's hand rose from within the shadow, grabbed the steel rod Ichigo had thrown haphazardly, and absorbed it into her arm in an instant. She formed a steel glove, raised it over her head, and struck the Warrior Who Never Returns in the waist.
Taking advantage of the slight opening when it lifted off the ground, Ichigo's spear shot out and struck the Warrior Who Never Returns's head.
Wakamo caught the spinning spear as it bounced through the air, drove it straight down, and──
Kwaaaang!!
"....Phew."
Throwing away the completely shattered and crumpled spear, Wakamo stood atop the flattened Warrior Who Never Returns and let out a relieved breath.
[Stats]
Mana: 25,321.
[Additional Stats: 35]
Seriously, attacks from a class equipped with [Attack Skills] hurt even when blocked, and hurt even more when they land..... It was only this manageable because the enemy moved according to a set pattern unlike a Climber.... Just like the Fist King, Wakamo reflected that she was still far too weak against truly powerful opponents and lightly rolled her shoulders.
[The Incheon Tower Floor 28 has fulfilled its Platinum conditions and is now open to all humanity!!]
[Calculating rewards for the Tower Platinum clear]
'I hope no one mistakes this for being genuinely easy.'
This was a kind of balancing act created by the coexistence of relatively lowered difficulty(?) designed with Wakamo's class in mind and brutally high difficulty(?). Perhaps the fact that Wakamo received fewer rewards than other Climbers no matter how hard she worked also played a part.
Maybe the Tower was looking at her and thinking, Why does she work so hard when she gets fewer rewards...?
"Yippee, yippee!!"
Ichigo had acquired [Alchemy-Property Transformation (Poison)], while Pirate proudly declared that she had gained another [Magic Skill] she could not use anyway, bringing her total to ten! It was unclear whether she had nothing to choose from or whether the Tower had simply given it to her.....
When Wakamo gave each of them five points, they gained another fifteen points in total and excitedly invested them into their [Stats].
The community had watched this and lamented that the other Climbers were dying of envy.
It seemed that, just like with VTubers, large corporations and those in advantageous positions tended to climb higher.
"Shall we go straight to the next floor?"
Worrying that she now had to keep the [Field] in mind as well, Wakamo stepped toward the next floor.
Taking the lead to protect Ichigo and Pirate while anticipating an ambush flying in with a blinding flash of light, Wakamo saw a giant rising from the darkness.
[Currently climbing the Incheon Tower Floor 29 world]
-A trial befitting mighty Climbers will be given.
-Join forces and overcome it together.
-Defeat the [Elite Boss Monster]!
[Platinum Completion Conditions]
-Defeat the [Swamp Rock Elemental] (0/1)
-Overcome the [Infinite Regeneration Gimmick] (0/1)
"Uh, hmm─"
The entire area was a swamp, and dirt kept raining down from the sky.
And the Rock Elemental continued absorbing that dirt and growing larger.
"Isn't a healing factor a little unfair?"
Wakamo shrugged as a blow from the Rock Elemental buried her beneath the swamp.