Chapter 21

1.

Dojin was making love to me with nothing but pure affection. The thought made me happy.

Rough sex, with him giving me orders, was definitely a perfect match for my tastes, overflowing with ecstasy.

But the girlish heart tucked away inside me, now that I’d become a complete woman, was pleading for gentle sex where I could be showered with love.

So I begged Dojin for it, too. I was really in the mood for it.

"Mmm, mm. Mwah..."

Kissing while we explored each other’s breasts was much sweeter than I’d expected.

Even though it was still foreplay before the same erotic act, just changing the mood and thinking differently about what we were about to do made a difference.

The kiss tasted different, felt different, had a different texture.

"Pwah... mmm..."

Sometimes Dojin couldn’t restrain himself and kept kissing me as if he wanted to devour me, but it still stayed within safe limits.

This was the kind of kiss you often saw even in a low-rated romance novel.

"Do I have to lead everything, too?"

"Of course."

I had no intention of taking the lead myself, and I wasn’t confident I could do it romantically. Besides, could sex led by a woman ever not be erotic?

Thinking about it, I realized my feminine heart was pretty submissive. Maybe I felt at ease because I was dependent on this man.

If I could entrust my whole body and heart to him, then returning to being a man was pointless.

And on top of that, sex felt incredible.

"Mwah... mmm..."

"Mnh, hngh...!"

My body shivered as Dojin’s tongue moved down, licking my collarbone.

It was a spot he usually caressed, too, but there was something different about the way he was taking his time and putting more care into it than usual.

They say there’s beauty in taking things slowly. Normally, he barely spent a few seconds on this spot. It was just part of the route to my breasts.

But now, after several minutes of Dojin carefully caressing my collarbones, I could feel myself getting wet between my legs.

"Mwah...!"

Then my body trembled as he went on to give me a hickey. Come to think of it, hickeys didn’t really seem like part of pure-love sex.

I didn’t know. His attentive caresses were making my brain sink into pleasure again.

I remembered thinking that love was a drug. And aphrodisiacs that make your body crave sex and surrender to lust are drugs, too.

High and steeped in the drug that was Dojin, everything he did seemed adorable, and I felt like I could accept anything from him.

I was completely intoxicated. At this rate, I was an addict. To get my fix, I was becoming a monster who could commit even the gravest acts, like murder, without hesitation.

It was a little scary, chilling, and dizzying to think that, as unlikely as it was, if Dojin used himself as bait and asked me to kill someone, I might actually do it.

"Ah, h-hot... haa..."

I could feel my body twitching again. Since I’d been lost in thought for a moment, I must have climaxed the instant he gave me that hickey.

"You’re so lewd."

"...You’re not allowed to say it more forcefully than that..."

I stopped Dojin from ruining the mood with his comment.

But I wasn’t denying that I was lewd right now. Even I thought I probably looked it.

Dojin’s tongue moved lower, and he began caressing my breasts.

It was different from his usual sadistic foreplay, when he focused on stimulating my nipples. This was slow, sensual caressing that stimulated not only my nipples but my areolae and breasts as a whole.

Since it was foreplay, there was no avoiding the erotic feeling. But I was used to nipple-focused, sadistic caresses and masturbation, so this unfamiliar way of touching me left me even more breathless.

"Hah, ah, hee!"

I’d thought only men liked having their breasts fondled. But when someone you love takes such care with them, even that can be incredibly stimulating. I learned that for the first time.

Usually, when Dojin touched my breasts, I got excited thinking about what would happen next. But right now, the caresses themselves felt so good that I hugged his head without realizing it.

"Hah, ah... More, please... do more..."

"Mwah, mm... phew..."

Even the breath Dojin let out while he paused to catch his breath after licking me made my nipples quiver.

How many minutes had he spent caressing my breasts? Before I knew it, Dojin was using his hands to massage them, too, and alternating between sucking each one as he teased me.

"Hah, ah...! Hic...!"

And that lingering, attentive caressing brought me to climax from breast play alone.

If he kept going lower while stimulating me the whole way, I felt like I’d be limp as a rag by the time he entered me.

"Hah... Lapis..."

"Heh, heh...?"

Before I could come down from the afterglow of my climax, I heard Dojin’s voice. The arms that had been wrapped around his head had gone limp and fallen to my sides.

Dojin’s face was one I rarely saw. He looked like he was barely keeping himself under control.

His cock was leaking precum, twitching impatiently as if it wanted to be inside me already.

"I want to put it in."

"Mmm... Then tell me you love me."

"I love you."

The words of love came out without hesitation, and they were sweet, but...

I couldn’t help feeling strongly that he was saying them because I’d asked.

I mean, of course it felt that way, since I’d asked him first.

But even so, I wanted Dojin to say them on his own.

"Keep going."

"I love you. I love you, Lapis."

The words of love whispered in my ear were so sweet. My body was full of lust, and I felt satisfied knowing he loved me.

All those sensations were telling me to let Dojin enter me.

It would be a lie to say I wasn’t disappointed that he hadn’t touched me down there at all yet.

But sometimes, I wanted to have sex like this, with my whole body caressed.

"Then... put it in... please."

Still, the words embarrassed me so much that I couldn’t help covering my face with both hands.

At the same time as I felt the head slide in, Dojin thrust deep inside me.

Dojin seemed to have been getting impatient, too.

I see.

He’d been holding back a lot, watching me struggle under his caresses.

Even when two people had sex because they loved each other, what men and women wanted could be very different.

Men wanted penetration so they could feel the greatest pleasure, while women usually felt pleasure more intensely and wanted foreplay where they could feel a man’s affection.

We needed to find a good balance between those differences, but maybe I’d demanded too much foreplay from him, like a couple doing it for the first time.

"Hah, ah!"

I had to toss those thoughts aside for now. Dojin was huge—big enough to be called well-endowed—and I was an average-height woman.

"Hngh, haaah♡"

Squelch, squelch, squelch. Dojin’s movements weren’t nearly as rough as usual.

I liked that, but this kind of movement felt amazing, too.

They say food tastes different depending on how you grill it, what seasonings you add, and how you add them.

Was sex the same? Even if it was just putting it in and moving your hips, the smallest details made it feel completely different.

"Ah, ah! Hah♡!"

Maybe he’d been holding back too long. Dojin moved his hips with a strained expression, then twitched.

It looked like he was about to come, so I wrapped my legs around his waist and held him in place.

"C-come inside, please♡...!"

"Ngh, Lapis...!"

Usually, Dojin came inside me without even asking, but for some reason, I felt like he was reluctant to do so this time.

In the end, though, unable to resist the overwhelming urge to come or my legs wrapped around him, Dojin came inside me.

"Mmm, ah! Hngh♡!"

And I climaxed right along with him.

2.

"Lapis, don’t you want to get pregnant?"

"Pardon?"

We made love until Dojin came twice. Both times, he came inside me.

Dojin looked a little tired, but... I was satisfied, curled up warmly in his arms.

"I told you, I take the morning-after pill."

"So don’t take it."

Dojin said it in a slightly commanding tone. I could feel that he really wanted to get me pregnant.

But I couldn’t.

"...I can’t."

"Why?"

What was I supposed to say if he asked why?

Because I had to defeat the Demon King? No, I didn’t want to go back to being a man anymore.

I had a man who loved me, and who now wanted to get me pregnant, too. And he was a dependable man among the strongest in the world.

I was so in love with Dojin that I would’ve thought him dependable even if he weren’t a hero.

Because of the contract? That was true.

The contract had turned me into a woman, and I couldn’t get pregnant because I didn’t menstruate. Dojin coming inside me was just for pleasure.

No matter how much we made love, or how much I wanted a child, I couldn’t get pregnant.

I can’t have a child.

When that realization came to me, I was so sad I nearly cried.

Dojin wiped away my tears with his hand.

"Don’t cry. Is it hard to talk about?"

"I’m sorry, I’m sorry..."

I wanted to tell him, I don’t know how to explain this to you. But I didn’t.

If I said that, I’d have to confess that I’d been a man, too.

But would he accept that? I’m a woman now, and I love you with a woman’s heart.

Even though I’d lived as a man for over twenty years, I’d fallen in love with you after living as a woman for just one month.

I’d be lucky if he didn’t find me disgusting.

Even I thought it was a little disgusting.

"I’m sorry..."

I don’t know what to say.

All I could think was that I was sorry.

I was sorry I used to be a man, sorry I couldn’t get pregnant because of the contract, and sorry I was too scared to tell him, afraid he’d hate me and abandon me.

But I made excuses to myself: if he ever abandoned me, I wouldn’t be able to go on living.

I knew that.

Ruby and Peridot, my comrades who were in the same situation, could comfort me, but they couldn’t be my support.

I’d thought that in this world, I had to support myself from the very beginning, but maybe that wasn’t true.

From the very first time I saw Dojin.

While talking and laughing with him.

While exercising and joking around with him.

While confessing my love to him.

While making love with him.

I’d already realized I was leaning on him far too much.