Chapter 10
“Auu.. I’m tired….”
I had been rolling around on the mattress for a while when the sun gradually began to set. I checked, and if I ordered delivery, it could arrive by tomorrow morning, but going outside myself was really not an option.
“This should be enough, right..?”
ㅡ삐빗!
After picking out some suitable clothes, I placed the order. I even used the rocket-delivery system that cost a little extra. For someone who had once been the world’s biggest pauper, next-day delivery had been a system I never even cared about.
[Bank balance : 825,325 won]
“Dangdang makes money so well, so it should be fine..?”
Now that I had obtained an absurdly powerful skill that made money increase just by breathing, things were very different. I now had enough wealth that—well, not as much as I wanted, but enough that when I needed to spend a decent amount, I didn’t have to hold back.
But does Dangdang ever lose money? The balance keeps going up. I have no idea how it’s so good at stocks, but….
“Dangdang.. thank you..!”
ㅡ삐빗!
This was something I never could have done without Dangdang. Of course, Suri was also worth thanking for protecting my life, and Minyumi was... because it ate a cockroach..?
Or maybe... its moonwalk was fun to watch too. Either way, they were all beings I was grateful for.
“Hwaaah. I’m completely drained of energy.”
I’d barely ever had any proper conversations with real women, and the women’s photos I’d seen on the internet were mostly of people who weren’t wearing any clothes.... So it was fair to say I had absolutely no knowledge of women’s clothing.
Luckily, after some back and forth, I finished ordering clothes that were easy to wear: a plain white sweatshirt and black slacks.
Since I’d run around outside like crazy, I’d been too exhausted to do anything but fall asleep yesterday, but today I felt like I absolutely had to wash up.
“This feels kind of criminal....”
I was soaked in sweat, so every part of my body felt sticky and gross. It didn’t really smell, but that might just be by my own standards. People can’t smell their own scent, right..?
With no choice, I stepped into the bathroom still wearing my clothes.
I diligently brushed my teeth with a new toothbrush and toothpaste, and washed my face as best I could.
After that, I opened my eyes by only 0.0001 mm and showered using just the faintest light and sensation, but because I’d gotten so much smaller, it was harder than I expected.
After I’d soaked my whole body and washed my hair too, the biggest problem finally occurred to me.
“The hair dryer... won’t work..?”
I needed to dry my luxuriously long hair, now ten times longer than before, but the hair dryer was broken. This thing was the same hair dryer that had electrocuted me.
Since it had already been dunked in the bathtub once, there was no way it would work properly.
“I-I’m cold..!”
The indoor temperature was a refrigerator-like 13 degrees. I wasn’t expecting a hillside slum studio apartment to have any insulation, but being soaked made it even colder. It felt like frost was starting to settle on my hair.
“P-please, just work...!”
Clutching the already-dead hair dryer, I was desperately crying out when Suri approached me.
ㅡ키잇
“S-Suri..? What is it?”
Minyumi was perched on top of Suri’s head. When Suri lowered its head slightly, Minyumi hopped down beside me and moved up to the dead hair dryer.
And then it began expressing something with great enthusiasm through its body.
“Hmm….”
Standing next to the hair dryer, Minyumi twisted its upper body to the right and tapped the dryer with the fingers on both hands.
This pose was definitely….
“Fusion..?”
It was the fusion pose from manga. Why was this suddenly happening? The hair dryer and... Minyumi?
“No way! You mean if I turn it into a golem and fuse them, that’ll work?!”
ㅡ끼긱!
Minyumi nodded as if it understood and shot a thumb up. Come to think of it, right—Dangdang was also a golem made from a cellphone, and it could even use cellphone functions, too.
Then if I first turned the hair dryer into a golem, and fused it with Minyumi, which still worked properly...?”
“That’s it! There was a way to do that!”
Minyumi, which still couldn’t really do anything except moonwalk, would gain a hot-air function!!
“Got it! I’ll give it a try?!”
I came outside holding the hair dryer and sat down on the floor. The room would be a better environment for a golem than the moisture-filled bathroom, after all.
“Golem creation..!”
ㅡ파앗..!
The magical power that shot from my fingertips spread rapidly along the dryer’s body. Floating up into the air, it began changing shape, crumbling with a crunch-crunch sound in the same way it had when I made Dangdang.
“O-ohhh..!”
ㅡ툭
A four-legged golem like Dangdang was created. The problem was that, having soaked up water, it wasn’t working. Its face was shaped like a round hole, just like the hair dryer’s air outlet, but even if I lifted it, shook it, or touched it, it wouldn’t move.
If I fused this with Minyumi....
“Golem fusion! Minyumi and... the hair dryer!”
In an instant, the two golems floated up with a whoosh and began twisting together. At the last moment, Minyumi waved its hand as if saying goodbye before merging with the hair dryer golem.
The hair dryer golem, finished in black plastic and much bigger than Minyumi, also changed shape again and was drawn into the blue radiance of magical power.
ㅡ번쩍!
“Eek….”
After a bright flash of light sparkled once, what fell to the floor was....
“Gasp..!!”
Minyumi had transformed into an insanely cool figure, like it was wearing black armor, and was doing a hero landing on one knee.
“Mi-Minyumi..?”
At my call, the golem slowly raised its head.
ㅡ철컥!
ㅡ끄덕 끄덕
“M-Minyumi..!!”
It really was Minyumi. By proportions, the hair dryer golem side had probably made up at least 70 percent of it, but fortunately Minyumi’s consciousness was still intact.
I was so happy I jumped up and down on the floor. How incredibly cool did it look? It even had five fingers on each hand, and when fully standing, it came up to almost my knees.
Most of all, this black armor. It still had a bit of a plastic feel... but it wore incredibly cool armor with sleek gold lines in the design.
“Sniff, sniff.. This is really great..!”
Celebrating its upgrade, Minyumi moonwalked a little more crisply. Dangdang, standing beside it, saw its friend get bigger and spun around, barking “wak-wak” excitedly.
And most surprising of all was this.
ㅡ철컥!
“Eek! W-what is that?!”
A huge gun extended from its right hand. And soon what came out of the barrel was....
ㅡ위이이잉….
“Ah, it’s warm.”
The hot-air function that had belonged to the hair dryer.
That’s right.
Minyumi had now become an ultra-convenient hair-drying knight that would dry my long hair for me.
“That’s seriously incredible..!”
As I lay sprawled on the floor, Minyumi automatically dried my hair, which was spread out in every direction. If this wasn’t what an S-rank Hunter was, then what even was?
An S-rank Hunter has a hair-drying golem? No, right? See? Trash, isn’t it?
“Hehe.. It’s warm.”
Unlike a cheap hair dryer, its heat? airflow..? had become tremendously stronger, and the noise had also dropped much lower. At this point it was nothing to envy Dyson over. Dyson doesn’t dry hair automatically, after all.
“Haah.. I’m happy.”
After roughly drying the hair on my head, I lay down on the pillow and left the rest to Minyumi. Today had been incredibly exhausting too.
Warm breezes were blowing gently, and since I’d just taken a bath, my body was nice and warm. Lying on the mattress with my eyes closed, I felt drowsiness creeping in for some reason.
“Suri, do you happen to know how to turn off the lights?”
ㅡ키잇
Hearing me, Suri flapped its wings and precisely pecked the light switch on the wall with its beak.
“Ohhh....”
After the lights in the tiny room went out, all that remained was the soft RGB glow streaming from the computer tower I hadn’t turned off yet, and a bit of white noise coming from Minyumi’s hair dryer.
I was full, and my body was warm. I’d also worked out really hard today. As the accumulated fatigue came rushing in all at once, a huge yawn escaped me.
“Huaaam.... Dangdang, could you turn off that light for me? I’m going to sleep.”
ㅡ삐빗..!
Dangdang even sensibly lowered the volume because it was night. It was only about 10:30 p.m., but so what. Good children were supposed to sleep early, after all.
I’m an adult, though. But my body is, you know—my body.
“Ugh.. I’m really sleepy....”
I needed to turn off the computer, but lying on the mattress made me not want to get up at all.
“Suri.. do you know how to turn off the computer too..?”
ㅡ키잇
“Right.. Suri is smart, after all....”
I actually didn’t understand what it meant very well, but it probably meant it would turn it off. I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep.
ㅡ도로롱
* * * * *
ㅡ키잇
Around 1 a.m., after the owner had fallen asleep.
ㅡ삐빗..!
ㅡ철컥..!
The three golems were clustered together in front of the computer, staring at the screen.
Minyumi, the one with the comparatively long arms, handled the keyboard, while Dangdang, which was linked to the account balance, handled payment and identity verification.
And their leader Suri was staring at the screen, in the middle of some sort of scheme.
“Mmm....”
The three golems were startled by their master’s sleep-talk. Then, shallow breathing sounded again.
ㅡ키잇..
ㅡ끄덕끄덕
ㅡ띠링
A six-digit number appeared in small print on Dangdang’s monitor screen.
[Identity verification : 185548]
ㅡ끄덕
In the pre-dawn dark when even birds in flight were nodding off, one item began being delivered to the house address without owner Eve even knowing.
The sun rose, lighting up the dark hillside slum. It was 8 a.m., early in the morning.
“Auuuuut..!!”
A refreshing stretch woke my groggy body. Thinking back on last night, when I had slept comfortably while being waited on by my golems, it really felt like being a princess.
“Huu.. Dangdang, are you awake?”
ㅡ삐빗!!
Yesterday had been full-on blissful-sleep mode. With my mind now clear, today was the day I had to get properly prepared.
“Hoo..! Suri, today’s the day we’re going to the gate. You know that, right..?!”
Suri slowly nodded. This would be my first official appointment since getting this body. And it was to meet someone else, too.
The other person was Han Dohee, the notorious braggart from the Awakened Gallery and an active B-rank Hunter. They made a ton of money. The scariest part was that they had a video containing my naked silhouette.
“Right, I ordered clothes for delivery.”
After roughly tidying my messy hair, I opened the door just a crack and hurriedly grabbed the delivery envelope.
The gray, sturdy envelope that comes with clothing orders. There was no way I could open it by myself, but I was a princess, after all.
“Suri? Could you tear this open for me?”
If I asked Suri, with its sharp feathers, it would cut it cleanly like this.
ㅡ서걱..!
“Nice! Thanks!”
Inside were a white top and black bottoms. Exactly what I had ordered....
“Huh.. eh..?”
* * * * *
“So, where are we going right now?”
“To pick up a younger kid I know.”
While riding in the car, Han Dohee sent a message to Eve during a brief stop at a traffic light.
-한도희 : 가는중
-한도희 : 대로변으로 나올 수 있음?
After a short wait, the light changed and the car started moving again, but Eve’s reply appeared on the phone mounted in the holder.
-이브 : 나
-이브 : 쫌 문제 생겻음
-이브 : 혹시 안쪽까진 못들어오나ㅠㅠ
“This kid is... being a hassle, huh?”
“Why? What did they say?”
“They’re asking me to come pick them up farther in.”
Han Dohee’s fellow Hunter Kim Chaea, who was riding along, said after glancing at Eve’s message on the holder.
“Is the name Eve? A foreigner?”
“I don’t really know either. I haven’t known them properly for long.”
“What, you said you were taking them to the gate. Is that really okay?”
“Doesn’t seem like a bad kid. They’ll probably handle combat just fine.”
Han Dohee glanced sideways at Kim Chaea and said.
“Hey.”
“What.”
“If you spill any snack crumbs, I’ll smash all your teeth.”
“Ah, I think I’m about to sneeze, hold on.”
“I’ll really kill you, you know?!”
The place they reached after a long drive was around the house address Eve had sent. It was a narrow alley in a district famous for its hillside slums.
“This slope is insane. Won’t the bottom of the car scrape all over? It’s like a total shantytown.”
“Hey, there’s a kid who lives here, so don’t say that.”
“I’m saying it because they’re not here.”
Han Dohee snapped at Kim Chaea’s words, but inwardly nodded.
‘A kid living alone in a place like this...? Seriously, something’s weird.’
Han Dohee and Kim Chaea roughly parked the car where the slope was a little less steep, then headed toward the address Eve had left.
“Where did they say they were standing here?”
“There are kind of a lot of kids around. Do you know what they look like?”
“You’ll know at a glance.”
After searching around for a while, they heard the voice of a little girl coming from between the narrow alleys.
“H-Here..!”
“Huh?”
Between the narrow alleys, a tiny hand peeked out and was waving.
“Chaea, let’s go.”
“Is that her?”
“Sounds like it’s her from her voice, doesn’t it?”
Kim Chaea followed behind Han Dohee with half doubt and half curiosity.
“Oh, Eve.”
Judging by Han Dohee’s reaction after running ahead, this was the right place. A child called “Eve” was standing there.
“Wow....”
A young girl completely out of place against the realistic backdrop, with rusty, dirty pipes running up the side of the old building.
“H-Hello..?”