Chapter 2
“My phone... won't you give it back to me....”
I hugged my phone, which had turned into a four-legged mechanical puppy, and cried. Nothing ever went the way I wanted it to.
It was probably the most expensive thing I owned, aside from my organs. Ah, no. I did have a computer.
..Come to think of it, organs aren't things you own.
[Temperature : 18’C]
“I know.. I'm cold too....”
The little machine dog reporting the outside temperature seemed annoyed that I was naked.
Once the gloom soaked all the way through me, I felt as cold as if I'd actually been drenched in water. It was cold already, but now I could feel it far more sharply.
I fetched a clean white shirt I'd washed but never worn and draped it over myself; at least then the cold became bearable. It was a little disappointing that my lower half was still bare.
Not just because I had no clothes, either; other things had vanished too. Something incredibly important, but in practice, something that never really got a chance to be useful.
“I ended up becoming an archmage....”
I thought I still had a little time before becoming an archmage, but since I probably wouldn't make it to thirty anyway, I guess they just job-changed me early.
But maybe because I became an archmage too early, I never actually became a real archmage and ended up as some kind of mage lackey. If I'd awakened as an archmage, I could've lived like royalty for the rest of my life.
There's nothing to drape over my lower half. My frame is much smaller, and the curves that should be there just aren't, so, well. I need clothes, but there's nowhere for them to hang, so they just slide straight through like an express lane.
Around this time, I used to be working part-time at the convenience store, but now I'm a critically ill patient who got into a traffic accident and is unconscious.
I'd normally be fiddling with my phone in my downtime, but my phone right now....
ㅡbeep
[Account balance : 80,721 won]
“I know.. I know....”
It turned into a very ungrateful machine pup that flings brutal truth bombs at me. How dare it bring up its master's account balance—be glad there isn't any doenjang at home.
In the end, the thing I turn on is the computer. Once you sit down, it's a long haul, so it's one of those things I only boot up occasionally. Besides, for a desktop, its specs are about on par with a used phone. It can barely run games and is only good for browsing the internet to some extent.
I'm feeling gloomy, but I still do what I have to. A promise made with hundreds of nameless friends, OO.
[LifeRuined : The cute gallery bro really awakened
The skill rank is EX—what is this]
-OO : Is that white-haired, blue-eyed whatever still at it?
-OO : (meme of mint twin-tails going, 'Huhh..')
-Doshungjwak : I've got a SEX-rank skill, wanna go to a gate together?
ㄴ LifeRuined : Really? There's even a SEX rank too?
ㄴ Doshungjwak : As if lol
ㄴ LifeRuined : I'm serious, for real;
Directly mentioning nicknames is forbidden, but if you've been on the Awakening Gallery long enough, you remember one or two of the old regular nicknames. As far as I know, Doshungjwak was probably a B-rank hunter.
ㅡding!
A private message came in through a note. It was from Doshungjwak.
-Doshungjwak : lol, did you awaken?
-LifeRuined : I'm not kidding, I really did; help me out
-Doshungjwak : Huh, what's your class?
-LifeRuined : I'm a princess.. what am I supposed to do
-Doshungjwak : Blocked for spouting bullshit, shoo~
“No!”
I really got blocked. They'd probably unblock me before long anyway, but this reaction was probably normal. What kind of class is princess? Obviously, there's no such class.
If you're a swordsman, you're a swordsman. If you're an archer, you're an archer. If you're a tank, you're a tank; the norm is that everyone starts with a starter skill suited to their class.
Most people have starter skills ranked somewhere between F and C, and if they're high, B-rank or even A-rank only shows up once in a blue moon.
Skill rank is a measure of power or influence, and you can always get better ones later. Growth-type skills even tend to rank up further.
ㅡding
-Doshungjwak : Enough with the nonsense, hurry up and say it. Is it really true?
-LifeRuined : It's true; it really says my class is princess;; I don't know what's what either
-Doshungjwak : (mint twin-tails and three wheelchairs ♿♿♿)
-Doshungjwak : Wanna get blocked again?
-LifeRuined : Please save me
No matter how true I said it was, they didn't seem to believe me. I probably would've done the same. What kind of class is princess? Then there'd have to be a king too? Next thing you know, a president class will show up too.
“Haah....”
ㅡding!
As I was letting out a long sigh, one message arrived from Doshungjwak.
-Doshungjwak : If you'd really awakened, I was gonna send you some gear lol
-LifeRuined : Really?? No, seriously, I'm telling you it's true ㅡㅡ
-Doshungjwak : What kind of gear does a princess even need lol? Should I send a maid or something hahahaha
-LifeRuined : Damn, send me a pretty one
-Doshungjwak : Go die outside lol
-LifeRuined : I'm kidding.. don't you have anything expensive? I need it to use my skill;
-Doshungjwak : What, were you a beggar instead of a princess or something? Now you're saying nonsense about wanting money;
-LifeRuined : My soul bears the star of the plains..
-Doshungjwak : Does magic come out if you eat a Cyburger? ㄷㄷ
I just can't make sense of this guy. No, to be fair, I was a little playful in my reply too.... Still, right, I should properly check my skills first.
[Golem Creation : EX
The last bastion for rebuilding a fallen kingdom. It consumes the wealth and materials you own, or their value, to create golems that will serve you.
Golem Creation : Lv.1]
This was the one I'd just seen a moment ago. In exchange for my phone, it made that machine doggo that flings fact bombs at me.
“As for the other skills….”
[ Status Window / Name : Eve
Age : 10 / Gender : Female
Class : {Princess of a Fallen Nation}
Rank :
Skills : {Golem Creation : EX}, {Powerless Princess : F}, {Command : F}, {Call : F} ]
“Hmm..”
It's F-rank. Except for Golem Creation, everything is at the absolute lowest. But even Golem Creation itself isn't really functioning properly. It's safe to say this is a complete bust.
Still, I have to hear the skill description first....
{Command : F
You give orders to the loyal servant you created. The higher the rank, the faster and more accurately your orders are received.}
“If it's F-rank, doesn't that mean it won't even listen to my orders..? Why does something like this even exist as a skill….”
There are plenty of hunters who handle familiars or summoned beasts. But I don't remember ever hearing that those people had a skill called Command. Of course, a servant understanding the master's words quickly is the bare minimum....
Next.
{Powerless Princess : F
A frail princess who can accomplish nothing on her own. Even so, she is an indispensable part of the kingdom.
Acquisition of combat-type skills is restricted. Skills whose acquisition is denied can be assigned during the next Golem Creation, or to a golem you already possess.}
“Uh..? I can't fight..?!”
Combat skills are the foundation of a hunter's power and an essential requirement.
If I can't fight, then who the hell is supposed to fight? That smartphone doggo? Is it going to fight in my place?
No matter how I look at it, it doesn't even seem like it could catch a single water deer in the mountain behind the house, so what exactly am I supposed to hunt?!
“Aaaah!! What the hell is this, ㅡ !!”
But there was one more thing left. The 'Call' skill.
Since I'm a princess, maybe it's a skill that summons the kingdom's army..? Please.
{Call : F
Summons the golems you currently possess to your location. Depending on rank, the cooldown and number of targets change.}
“Okay. Doggo summoning. Got it.”
My life is ruined. Guess I'd better go back to the convenience store.
“Sigh, why did heaven give birth to me.. and to the hundreds of thousands of Korean hunters besides me….”
No matter how much I complain, nothing will change. For now.. I need to look more closely at this, the skill that seems the most important. Golem Creation.
[Golem Creation : EX
The last bastion for rebuilding a fallen kingdom. It consumes the wealth and materials you own, or their value, to create golems that will serve you.]
“The wealth and materials I own.... value..? I don't really know what that means.”
When I pulled the annoying machine doggo resting beside me into my arms and felt it over, I could clearly feel the material the phone had been made from. The outer surface felt a little like plastic. There was metal mixed in too, and basically, it had a lot going on.
“Then.. can something like this become a golem too?”
ㅡcreak
I got up from the chair that squeaked with metal sounds and moved over toward the pile of stuff. Who knows, maybe there was something else I could turn into a golem. For example....
“This one.”
An aluminum beer can I'd emptied and never thrown away. Since it's made of metal, it might become a sturdy golem.
“Golem Creation.”
ㅡflash!
With a bright blue light, the aluminum beer can began transforming into a golem by magic. The crumpled can shrank with tremendous force, then changed into a bug-like form only about the size of a finger.
“Eh?”
ㅡtwitch
“A-aah ㅡ !!!!”
The antennae moved. I know that shape.
A cockroach. And made of aluminum, no less.
So startled, I fell backward onto the floor with a thud and landed on my butt.
“H-hiiik!! Don't come near me!!”
ㅡskitter....
Because of Command, the aluminum cockroach no longer came any closer to me. But... why? The smartphone at least looked like it had some kind of function, but this is too much!
“Please..! Turn back to normal!”
[The rank of Command is insufficient.]
But my wish did not reach it. The notification that appeared in the status window meant that, because the Command skill's rank was insufficient, my order to return to its original form didn't get through.
“N-no.... Please....”
A shiny silver aluminum cockroach, making a creak-creak metal noise as it crawled around the floor—a horror movie in motion. In an instant I lost all will to fight, and my lower half started getting warm....
“A-aah….”
Life over.
Achievement unlocked: peeing on the floor at 27.