Chapter 85
“Ophelia, eat up well before you go.”
“I’ll come again next time! Eve, see you later too!”
“Ahaha, yes, yes.”
Han Dohee and Chaea unnie went home after receiving Ophelia’s delicious meal and the souvenirs she’d brought back from England. After changing into comfortable clothes and fooling around for a bit, I couldn’t relax and lounge around on the sofa because Ophelia, who was doing the dishes, kept catching my eye.
“Ophelia, should I help with anything?”
“No, it’s fine.”
“You look tired, though.”
“...I’m fine. The princess should be resting.”
Well, Ophelia was actually made of rare metal, after all? She was basically iron-bodied, but still a person. If you keep working all day like that, it’s not just your body that gets tired and sore—your head starts aching a little too.
No matter how capable Ophelia is, working 24 hours straight is a bit much, isn’t it? She looks like she needs a little rest.
‘Besides, she zoned out for a second in front of Chaerin unnie too, and I think she dozed off on the road, didn’t she...?’
Falling asleep with your eyes open on the road was seriously dangerous. Since it was a Rolls-Royce, people let it slide, but if it had been a normal car, someone might’ve shoved it out of the way after thirty seconds.
‘This can’t go on..! Looks like Ophelia’s hitting her limit!’
From today on, I need to do whatever I can so Ophelia can rest a little.
The dishes were already underway, so there was nothing I could do about that....
ㅡclatter
‘It’s done..!’
Since Ophelia was done with the dishes, I’d steal the next job and do that instead.
“Ophelia! What are you about to do!?”
“Is something wrong? I was about to do the laundry.”
“Ah, I see.”
Laundry is still too hard for me—I’m not tall enough yet. Sorry, Ophelia.
* * * * *
“Hmmm....”
This might be a little hard to get anywhere with. What Ophelia wants is for me to become ridiculously strong, so wouldn’t it be enough to find a way to get stronger?
[MyLifeIsntRuined : I want to get stronger, what should I do
Need to become an SSS-rank Hunter]
-Anon : Go do closed-door training
ㄴ MyLifeIsntRuined : How do you even do that?
ㄴ Anon : @MyLifeIsntRuined Lock yourself in a solitary room and survive on bigu pills for about ten years.
“Bigu pills? Hmm.”
When I searched the internet for bigu pills, some food that looked like little round rabbit droppings came up. Since they look similar, I’ll just swap them for Dujjonku, and if ten years would be boring, then as long as I had my phone and computer....
“Sigh, that wouldn’t be training at all.”
I should look for another way.
-DungBeetle : Ma328gic is open to everyone. Ma328gic opens the door when you cleanse your mind, body, and spirit and face yourself. The method is as follows. First, to cleanse the body, eat dirt for 30 days…(more)
“Magic..!”
Even though my body is weak, wouldn’t it be enough if I awakened as a magic type again? Then even if I’m physically weak, I could just blast out fireballs and stuff.
“Dirt.... I have to eat dirt.”
I don’t know if there’s any dirt around here, but is it really okay to just copy stuff like this?
ㅡclick
While I’d stepped out of bed for a moment and Ophelia had gone to hang the laundry, I approached the big flowerpot in the living room with a tiny tree planted in it.
Then I pinched up just a tiny bit of dirt, about a pinch, put it on the tip of my tongue, and tried putting it in my mouth....
“Eugh, blech.... It’s so bitter, it tastes absolutely disgusting.”
How am I supposed to follow something like this? And eat it for 30 days? It’s total nonsense; if I followed this, my body would end up messed up.
Wouldn’t I just end up melting away like dirt? So this was all a lie after all.
-DungBeetle : Ma328gic is open to everyone. Ma328gic opens the door when you cleanse your mind, body, and spirit and face yourself. The method is as follows. First, to cleanse the body, eat dirt for 30 days…(more)
ㄴ MyLifeIsntRuined : Have you actually tried this;;? Dirt tastes disgusting as hell.
ㄴ DungBeetle : Haven’t tried it.
ㄴ MyLifeIsntRuined : Heyㅡㅡ;
Even the guy who left the comment hasn’t tried it, so let’s pass on this for now.
-MagicLovesx3 : I threw myself into the fire
ㄴ MagicLovesx3 : Want to try it once too?
ㄴ MyLifeIsntRuined : What are you even saying, I’m being serious;;
ㄴ MagicLovesx3 : Does that look like a joke? Want me to show you my burn scars?
ㄴ MyLifeIsntRuined : Sorry
That creepy, weird comment gets a pass too; he’s definitely completely insane.
“Sigh.... Is there really nobody normal anywhere?”
-GoldenHand : Want to buy some gear,,? hehe;;
ㄴ MyLifeIsntRuined : Is your gear any good??
ㄴ GoldenHand : I guarantee the quality~^^
This was obviously a weird person. Even the way he talked was weird, and it looked like he was selling some strange gear.
Still, magic doesn’t seem bad. Should I ask how to become a mage?
[MyLifeIsntRuined : I want to become a mage
Make me a mage too]
-NONAME : Mages cost a lot of money
ㄴ MyLifeIsntRuined : Huh? Mages cost money?
ㄴ NONAME : You have to buy mana
ㄴ MyLifeIsntRuined : First time I’m hearing that;
But I don’t have money..? My allowance is 300,000 won, and after buying Dujjonku, spending it on games, and a little bit more, it’s gone. Then... maybe I should try a side job.
I was going to try Scoop Market, but thinking back to my conversation with Eloise, the profit model seems weird. Why am I buying jelly and chocolate and then selling them?
Maybe it was just for uploading videos, I thought to myself.
Or maybe I should look for another way? I should ask around.
[MyLifeIsntRuined : I want to make money
Are there any jobs even a kid can do?]
-middlewinter : Want to pick up empty bottles in the park with me?
ㄴ MyLifeIsntRuined : Does that pay a lot?
ㄴ middlewinter : 120 won each
ㄴ MyLifeIsntRuined : You’re really that poor;?
ㄴ middlewinter : Not really
ㄴ middlewinter : I’m sleeping in a tent in the park
ㄴ MyLifeIsntRuined : Sorryㅠ Hang in thereㅠ
There are so many pitiful friends in the world. I should try even harder too.
“Huaaah. I can’t think of a good way.”
I got up from the chair in front of the computer and threw myself onto the bed. The taste of the dirt I’d just eaten was still lingering in my mouth, and when I went out to get a glass of water, it seemed like it was already time for calisthenics.
Because Ophelia had laid out that yoga mat she’d bought a while ago on the floor and was checking the time.
“Ah, it’s time for calisthenics.”
“Yes.”
“Then I’ll just drink some water, change clothes, and come back.”
“Take your time.”
After drinking water, I changed into my exercise clothes in the dressing room attached to the master bedroom. Back in the living room, Ddaengdaeng was lying on the yoga mat Ophelia had laid out, rolling around.
“You little rascal, the princess has to do her exercises. Get out of the way.”
ㅡbeep....
“There’s still plenty of room... but if I step on you during exercises, it’s going to hurt like crazy.”
The complaining Ddaengdaeng, grumbling about how there was so much room and whatnot, rolled over again and lay down at the edge of the yoga mat. This thing just plays around all the time, but if you give it mana, it’s strong.
If I were Ddaengdaeng... then I wouldn’t be able to play games.
* * * * *
“Today’s calisthenics are finished too. Good work.”
“Ugh.”
Come to think of it, I’m living pretty diligently. Calisthenics every day, taking Ddaengdaeng for walks every day. At this rate, I’m probably in the top 1 percent; at the very least, I’m not a resting youth anymore. Though I’m not a youth anymore either.
Then what am I? A working youth?
“Ophelia.... I want to get stronger...”
When I told Ophelia my worries while lying on the floor, she sat by my head for a moment and listened. If I don’t want Ophelia to worry, I need to get stronger, but even when I improve my abilities, I don’t really get any stronger.
Of course, I can say it’s fine because the golems get stronger too? Still, I want to be stronger myself.
“Princess, you are already working hard enough.”
“Is that so.”
“Yes, that is correct.”
“Hmm-hmm-hmm....”
The truth is, I want to get stronger because I want Ophelia to rest a little more too. Wouldn’t it be enough if I just used my princess authority to force Ophelia to take a break?
“Ophelia, from where I’m standing, it looks like you’re working too much and need to rest.”
“Why do you think that?”
“Well.... um, you just kind of look that way. I don’t really know, but anyway.”
Ophelia thought for a moment, rubbing her chin with her hand at my words, then nodded.
“I’ll consider it.”
“Really? If you get too tired, I’ll help you, okay?”
“...Understood.”
Well, Ophelia seems like she just says things like that, but whatever. From now on, whenever Ophelia looks tired, I’ll just order her to rest.
“Ugh, I’m tired.”
“I’ll help you get the bath ready.”
“Ah, I.... um, bath prep..?”
Bath prep is a little hard, though.
“Yep.”
I need help with this. It’s something I don’t know how to do, so what am I supposed to do?
In the end, I hurriedly took off my clothes and went into the bathroom with the towel Ophelia handed me. There was the hot bathwater she’d prepared, along with a laminated bath guide and a few other things.
ㅡbrush brush
‘Is there no toothpaste that tastes like Dujjonku?’
Three minutes of brushing my teeth, a full rinse, and into the tub.
“Huaaah.... I’m melting.”
Bathing while thinking back on the day, it kind of feels like I spent it pretty productively. Like I’d been looking for a job or something? Though all I actually did was ask the gallery.
ㅡbubble bubble
With my face half-submerged in the bathwater, I was bubbling away when a status window suddenly popped up in front of me.
[Some of the princess’s majesty has been restored. The rank of the Command Issuance skill rises. Command Issuance: A+ -> S]
“Woooo..!!”
Could it be that while I was bathing, my follower count hit one million, and that made the Command Issuance skill jump all the way to S-rank, no less....
“Eek..?!”
My vision suddenly spun. A prickling jolt ran from my forehead to the back of my head, and my scalp went numb.
“Ugh.... What was that just now..?”
It vanished quickly, but it felt incredibly strange. It wasn’t exactly painful, but it stung a little.
“Ah, dangerous. Did I stay in too long?”
Since the tub had shocked me once before, I got goosebumps and a chill and hurried out fast. Of course, that had actually been the hair dryer, but anyway.
“Hmm, let’s move this aside.”
When I swiped the status window floating in front of me aside, another status window popped up.
[The rank of the Summon skill rises. Summon: B+ -> A
The ‘Summon’ skill has reached its threshold.
If certain conditions are met, you can temporarily summon the kingdom’s troops.]
“Huh..?”