Chapter 22
The day Round 4 took place.
Seo Si-yeon, assigned the first slot, stepped onto the stage in a light outfit.
‘I’ve mastered all the lyrics, and I didn’t make any mistakes during rehearsal...’
‘Good. Now the important thing is my emotional delivery.’
This song, too, had a similar feel to the girl in the photo from before.
The difficulty itself wasn’t particularly high, but the melody line was quite good.
The only problem was the short, tough rap section in the middle... Si-yeon vaguely thought she would somehow manage it.
The studio lights went out one by one, leaving only a pin light modeled after an old streetlamp onstage.
Si-yeon slowly walked out with a large beanie pulled down over her head.
What the song wanted to convey was simple.
‘The feeling of wanting to succeed and repay the precious people in my life.’
More specifically, she wanted to improve the circumstances of the younger children at the orphanage, whom she was usually close to.
This wasn’t fabricated emotion; it was close to Si-yeon’s genuine feelings.
Those children had supported her when she was isolated both at the orphanage and at school.
Si-yeon wore cotton pants with slightly stretched knees and worn sneakers far too large for her feet, the heels slipping loose.
The murmuring from the audience died down the moment she took hold of the microphone.
The song began with a gentle accompaniment and narration.
The narration had been recorded personally by Park Han-su.
That voice had the power to captivate people, drawing the audience deeper into the song.
-So the girl prayed to the heavens.
Along with the final sentence, a sharp piano melody shattered the silence. Soon after, a heavy bass began pounding the floor.
--when I pray for the sky
-The heavens never answered
Though it was the voice of a nine-year-old, the rap laced with English rhymes landed with chilling sophistication. On the large screen behind the stage, grayscale footage showed the old orphanage hallway and the hands of children fiddling with cheap candy.
-Success—that’s a ghost that only exists on TV
-My reality is hand-me-down shoes, holes split open at the heels.
She didn’t sing with a tremble of emotion. Rather, she continued the singing rap in an almost painfully matter-of-fact tone, sometimes riding the notes over the beat.
That dry tone pierced people’s hearts even more deeply.
Behind the stage, grayscale footage of Seo Si-yeon and the orphanage children filmed last time was playing.
As the chorus began, the beat burst forth grandly, and Si-yeon raised her voice while gazing at the audience.
-I prayed for this!
-I pray every night!
For me to become the protagonist of this stage
-I prayed for this!
-I’ve always wished for it!
For my song to become my younger siblings’ hope
The high-note section, a highlight she got through without trouble, was followed by a tough rap section that required rapid pronunciation.
After several rounds of practice, Si-yeon relied on the feel she had acquired and somehow got through it safely without stumbling over the lyrics.
Afterward, as the beat grew calm again, with a soft kick drum underneath and the sound of fingers scraping across guitar strings, Si-yeon closed her eyes and brought the song to an end.
-This time, I hope I can find
-the angel who will grant my wish.
The final beat faded, and silence descended. Si-yeon took off her beanie and gave a small bow.
It was a short song, just over two minutes long.
But she thought it had been enough time to convey her feelings to the audience.
Si-yeon wiped away the beads of sweat gathering on her forehead as cheers rang out.
* * *
In truth, hip-hop was like a towering wall that wouldn’t even allow access to anyone who didn’t make rapping their profession.
That was because of the pressure of diction that had to pour out like rapid fire, the beat-making methods that followed an entirely different trajectory from other genres, and, above all, the fundamentally different way its lyrics were written.
The essence of hip-hop ultimately came down to one’s own story or sharp criticism. There was a reason diss culture existed as its own distinct phenomenon.
It was no easy task for hip-hop steeped in self-aggrandizement and vitriol to be fully embraced by the public.
That was why hip-hop with broad appeal generally followed a set formula.
It toned down excessive boasting that could provoke rejection and chose sweet melodies over beats that hammered directly into the listener’s ears.
Of course, there had been cases where pure skill alone broke through the public’s barriers, but the undeniable reality was that such cases were becoming increasingly rare.
Joo Jin-woo understood the dynamics of that scene better than anyone. He was a member of his university’s hip-hop club, after all.
That was why, from the moment he heard that Seo Si-yeon had drawn hip-hop, contradictory emotions began to churn inside him.
To put it coldly, the odds of Seo Si-yeon properly pulling off hip-hop were slim.
No matter how much genius talent she had been born with, this time the probability of her ruining the stage seemed to approach one hundred percent.
She might even be eliminated without making it past the threshold of the TOP 10.
That would be good news for Joo Jin-woo. He had been racing toward the goal of winning this season, and if his strongest competitor brought herself down, then victory would practically be his for the taking.
But one corner of his heart remained distinctly unsettled.
He didn’t want to win that way. He wanted to face her fairly, defeat her in a head-to-head battle, and make her submit through his own skill.
If Seo Si-yeon were eliminated pointlessly, then even if he seized the trophy, he didn’t think he would feel like the true winner.
Besides, how much would the public talk? It was obvious they would belittle his victory by saying, ‘Seo Si-yeon is the true winner of Singerstar 5.’
In the end, Joo Jin-woo watched her stage with strange, ambivalent feelings: he hoped Seo Si-yeon would botch it enough to show weakness, but not enough to be eliminated.
Seo Si-yeon’s stage began on the television in the waiting room.
Joo Jin-woo had folded his arms, certain it wouldn’t make much of an impression, but by the time the song passed its midpoint, his arms had fallen limply to his sides.
After the stage ended, the camera didn’t show the waiting room, but he stared blankly at the screen for a long while before unconsciously wiping roughly at the corners of his eyes.
“How can anyone watch this and not cry…”
Seo Si-yeon calmly telling the story of the orphanage onstage was the kind of sight that made it impossible to hold back tears.
If you could listen to an actual orphan tell an orphan’s story and hold back your tears, you had to be a truly cold person.
Thinking that, Joo Jin-woo tore open a bottle of water.
In his eyes, Seo Si-yeon had remained either a monstrous little brat or an unusually mature child.
But when he connected the image of the child who had collapsed and cried last time with the girl now speaking about her hopes onstage, she felt less like a competitor and more like a child who needed to be protected.
It was a reaction somewhat different from Seo Si-yeon’s intention.
With this song, she wanted to be seen as a mature child who would succeed despite her difficult circumstances and take care of her younger siblings at the orphanage first.
However, most people’s reactions had something in common with Joo Jin-woo’s.
For people to treat her as Seo Si-yeon intended, she was simply too young—and too adorable.
* * *
“Pff…”
I was looking at the comments on my live performance with a dissatisfied expression.
One cheek was puffed out so much that anyone who saw me might have teased me for looking like an angry squirrel, but that wasn’t what mattered right now.
“Why are all the reactions just about how pitiful I am?”
Of course, there were quite a few comments with the kind of sentiment I wanted.
-It’s so admirable and wonderful that she thinks like that at her age!
But none of those comments had received many recommendations, and when sorted by popularity, they were buried way down below.
And the comments near the top of the popularity rankings were, as expected...
-Speaking as a father with a daughter about that age, my heart aches. I think I’ll start donating, even if only a little, to children in difficult circumstances.
ㄴ I support you!
ㄴ Me too ㅠㅠ
-I can’t believe such a cute little baby had to go through hardships like that.
-Thanks to this song, I found myself thinking once again about children from vulnerable backgrounds.
“Fuck. Seriously.”
“Unni! Don’t say bad words!”
“Ah, okay.”
Summer vacation was just about to begin at school.
Coinciding with the start of vacation, before the weather became unbearably hot, Neulneul Orphanage held a mini sports day every year.
It was an event the children bitterly complained about because it was hot enough to kill them, but it was forced through every year on the grounds that exercise was good for them.
And, just for the record, skipping it wasn’t allowed. Everyone had to participate in at least one event.
However, thanks to me, that principle was finally broken this time.
The teachers had formed an opinion that it was too cruel to make a child who was already suffering by appearing on television every week run under the blazing sun, so I was exempted from competing.
But in keeping with an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth, I was forced to perform a celebratory stage before the sports day began instead.
“Still, at least the stage is in the shade.”
Naturally, I wasn’t performing one of my own songs.
For a stage like this, we had to use a song everyone knew to liven up the atmosphere, and I had brought one that fit the occasion.
“All right! To celebrate the Neulneul Sports Day, we have a famous singer visiting us today!”
The orphanage director shouted at the top of her lungs, sounding delighted.
These days, a lot of money had been coming in through donations thanks to me, so she seemed to be in an excellent mood.
“Let me introduce her. Neulneul Orphanage’s Seo! Si! Yeon!”
-Waaaaah!
“Everybody, give her a round of applause!”
-Clap clap, clap clap
Hearing the hollow cheers and applause erupt, I swallowed my embarrassment and stepped onto the stage.
People might ask what was embarrassing about this when I appeared on a broadcast watched by the entire nation, but doing something like this in front of people you knew was always the most embarrassing.
A lively melody known by the entire nation burst forth alongside rhythmic guitar.
I started singing to it while doing a stiff, creaky little dance.
-One more time!
For some reason, I felt like dying.