Chapter 38
“All right. We’re ready…!”
It was a hobby that Go Hyena, who had entered university that year, found difficult to talk about in front of other people.
Namely, she was the head moderator of the Seo Siyeon gallery she had applied to open and then taken over.
These days, being a Seo Siyeon fan no longer drew strange looks. After all, she had appeared like a comet on Singerstar and grown into a star who had captured the entire nation’s attention.
But if she said she wore an online moderator’s armband, most people would ask, ‘What’s that?’ while the few who knew what it meant would look at her with contempt.
Singerstar’s live broadcast aired every Friday.
On her fourth attempt, Go Hyena had finally managed to secure a ticket to the TOP 5 competition.
It was the ticketing skill she had honed buying tickets for male idols since she was young.
‘There are just so few seats…’
Singerstar’s live stages took place at Jangchung Gymnasium.
With more than 3,000 seats, it wasn’t exactly a small number, but compared to Singerstar’s current popularity, it was far too few.
They said the finale would be held at Gocheok, so it would probably be easier to get in then.
“Oh! That’s right!”
She hurriedly stuffed the photo cards she had made herself into her bag. She had paid for them out of her own pocket to hand out to Seo Siyeon’s fans.
Seo Siyeon had not done that many activities yet, so there were not many photos that could be made into photo cards.
That was why she had dug through Twitter and asked a fansite photographer who photographed Lee Hyena to take some pictures of Seo Siyeon as well.
The person kindly agreed, and thanks to that, she was able to get her hands on a good number of decent-quality photos.
Naturally, she couldn’t give them to everyone, so she decided to hand them only to people who followed the fan account she ran on Twitter.
“Hehe… Siyeon in person…”
The reason she liked Seo Siyeon was simple.
It was because their circumstances were similar.
After learning that Siyeon was an orphan like her, she began taking an interest. Seeing the girl overcome her pain at such a young age and soar so brilliantly had turned her into a fan.
When she reached the front of Jangchung Gymnasium, she saw a churning crowd of people.
“Ugh… There are so many people.”
But Go Hyena had just turned twenty—the most passionate age in the world.
She quickly found a suitable spot by the side of the road and sat down.
“Ah. Should I go get a coffee?”
There wasn’t much else around Jangchung Gymnasium, but there were several cafés.
There was still quite a while until entry, so she decided to hurry and get some coffee.
As expected, the café was crowded too.
The café was already packed with people carrying Singerstar merchandise or slogans. Go Hyena ordered an iced Americano and barely managed to sit down in a secluded corner.
She took her coffee and went to sit in the spot she had scoped out earlier.
Then, out of habit, she opened her Twitter account and left a post.
[Seo Siyeon fan account @sy_love_08]
[Photo]
I’m sitting here!
Follow me and send proof, and I’ll give you a Siyeon photocard!
Less than five minutes after she posted, she saw a shadow cautiously approaching.
“Excuse me… Are you the one giving away Siyeon photocards?”
When she looked up, three or four high-school-aged kids stood there, their eyes shining.
Go Hyena said, "Oh, yes!" and hurriedly pulled the photocards from her bag.
“Wow, no way! The image quality is really good….”
“They were taken by Lee Hyena’s fansite photographer! The photographer was kind enough to help me out.”
The fans’ faces lit up as they accepted the photocards.
They were not particularly special photos, really. They had only been taken during commutes, so all they captured was Siyeon’s everyday appearance.
Go Hyena exchanged a few brief words of praise about Siyeon with them, then quickly handed out the rest of the cards.
She had been a little worried because people often tore each other down and fought on communities or Twitter, but the eyes of the fans she met offline were filled with nothing but pure affection for a young genius.
It was a sense of kinship—the desire to protect the moment when a girl who shared their pain overcame the cold gaze of the world and sang.
Before long, many people of all genders were coming and going.
Some older people who knew nothing about Twitter or online communities came by as well, and since she handed cards to them without asking for verification, before she knew it, all one hundred photocards she had prepared were gone.
Meeting and talking with so many people was, as expected, somewhat exhausting. But the feeling of fulfillment outweighed the fatigue.
Meeting people who liked the things she liked was far more enjoyable than she had expected.
“We’re letting people in from the front! Those of you on the second floor, please go around to the left!”
At last, entry began.
Go Hyena joined the line, her heart filled with anticipation.
* * *
The advantage of a live competition, if there was one, was that it allowed the performers to engage with the audience and put on the stage almost like a concert.
When I stepped onto the stage, I could see the audience filling Jangchung Gymnasium.
It might be easy to think of it as only 3,000 people, but for most singers, seeing this small gymnasium packed full was practically a dream.
‘Snow.’
Even though it was summer, the indoor temperature was nearly 20 degrees Celsius. Wasn’t a relatively comfortable environment, despite the countless people, one of the advantages of an indoor concert?
Of course, down there among the audience, the heat from the people around you made it hotter than expected.
But from my position onstage, I could feel air cool enough to suit the snow.
A single shaft of cold light fell onto the darkened stage. It was a blend of purple and navy, like the color of a winter dawn just before sunrise.
A large, roughly made cardboard hut set had been placed at center stage.
Its shoddy finish made it look as though children had built it from boxes they’d picked up at a playground, but that very quality stimulated a strange fairy-tale imagination.
Fragments of seasons scattered through the rain
The hut’s small window opened with a creak.
The audience’s gazes poured through the gap.
Inside that tiny frame, I sat with my chin propped up, wearing a red knit sweater and looking out the window.
Like a scene from an old photo album, or an unreal dollhouse.
I took hold of the microphone inside and began to sing.
-Us, from that particularly cold day
-Beyond the summer heat pooled against the window
As I stretched my hand beyond the window frame, the stage lights rippled and projected the shadows of swaying branches onto the hut’s wall.
As the dry riff of an acoustic guitar flowed, the heat in the venue gradually subsided.
-I picture that night when white breaths touched
When the song reached the chorus, I opened the hut’s small door and slowly walked toward the front of the stage. It was the moment I came face-to-face with an audience in midsummer.
Crunch, crunch.
A sound effect like packed snow being crushed beneath boots was inserted, and I walked to a spot where I could meet the audience’s eyes.
-Christmas of the day, snow falling on an August night
As I thrust my arms up toward the sky and let my emotions erupt, my red Santa outfit rode up mercilessly.
The moment my elbows rose above shoulder height, my previously concealed navel and rib line were exposed defenselessly to the audience’s eyes.
"Waaaaah...!"
Was that cheer for the sophisticated high notes I had just sung, moving between full voice and falsetto? Or was it for my navel?
But I had no time to feel embarrassed, with a demanding high note bearing down on me.
-Memories resembling those days pile up on my shoulders
At that moment, I made eye contact with a woman in the audience. She looked as though she stood on the boundary between girlhood and womanhood, and tears were streaming down her face as she listened to me sing.
She was holding a fan-made slogan supporting me, so I gave her a small smile.
-Christmas of the day, the moment scattered like a mirage
Our exchange of glances lasted only an instant, but that brief eye contact imbued my vocal tone with lyrical warmth.
Having smoothly cleared the high note, I turned around again and headed toward the cardboard hut at center stage.
-Do you remember the little lights that lit up
When I placed my hand against the hut’s wall, an intense pin spotlight burst from inside the box.
Light poured through the small holes that had been meticulously drilled into the hut’s walls beforehand, and the dark ceiling and walls of Jangchung Gymnasium instantly transformed into a fantastic scene embroidered with thousands of stars—or Christmas tree lights.
“Wow…….”
Exclamations spilled from the audience. An analog kind of sentiment created solely with light and cardboard boxes, without flashy CG or machinery.
It was a piece of stage direction I had used in my previous life, brought over exactly as it was.
-The little tree lights blooming in my heart—if they shine on you, will this summer turn to winter.
The chorus began again, and I started slowly circling the hut.
Every time I spread my arms wide and waved them through the air as part of the choreography, my short top fluttered precariously, clearly tracing the line around my navel.
Like fragments of winter melting in the heat of summer, or the movements of a young fairy dancing freely, it blended naturally into the stage.
-The Christmas of that day, which I can never return to
As I entered the bridge, I climbed onto a small pile of empty boxes placed beside the hut.
Looking down at the audience from that high vantage point, I brought the song to a close as if bidding farewell to the acquaintances from my previous life and the fans gazing up at me now.
At that moment, for some reason, I felt as though I had escaped the shadow of my previous life and become the real Seo Siyeon.