Chapter 49
As the guitar's lingering resonance struck the vast domed ceiling of Gocheok Dome and came echoing back, my voice joined it in that fleeting silence.
They were scales I had played tens of thousands of times in my previous life, but singing them through the voice of nine-year-old Seo Siyeon felt unfamiliar.
It was too deep to be called a clear youthful voice, yet it carried the fatigue of life in a way no child's voice should.
That unique timbre, perfected through endless practice and effort, traveled through the microphone and rang throughout the dome.
- When I close my eyes, I hear the lullaby of someone whose name I do not know.
- Fragments of that summer that shone through the cold cement walls.
Synths and drums gradually joined in.
But unlike the pounding sound of Joo Jinwoo's previous stage, this was not music that battered the audience into submission. Like thick fog rising from beneath their feet, a dreamy yet majestic shoegazing-style sound enveloped the stage.
I kept my eyes closed and focused on the sensations at my fingertips.
The vibrations flowing along the guitar strings resonated through my small body.
On the giant LED screen above the stage, a watercolor-like video flowed by at an extremely slow pace instead of displaying flashy graphics.
Cherry blossoms drifted through the barren orphanage hallway, then a scorching shower fell, autumn leaves dropped, and snow piled up once more.
As the song approached its climax, the beat began to quicken.
- The seasons turned and turned, bringing me here.
- So why am I still lingering at the edge of that winter?
My vocals rose an octave.
A plaintive high note burst forth, as if wringing the listener's heart tight.
The 17,000 spectators had become so absorbed in the stage that they had forgotten even to wave their lightsticks.
Some wiped away tears as they saw their own lives reflected in the life I had lived as an orphan, while others stared blankly at the screen, remembering something they had lost.
But I, the one singing onstage, was not thinking about anyone's tears.
'This is a song for the me from my previous life.'
It was for the me who had disappeared from the world just as I was beginning to make a name for myself in my previous life.
It was a final tribute to that poor soul who had chased success until his life came to such a hollow end.
When I reached the bridge, I stopped playing the guitar and gripped the microphone stand with both hands.
An energy only Seo Siyeon could create exploded forth, born from the union of the deep emotions I had experienced in my previous life and the pure vocal cords of this one.
- Goodbye now! My frozen season!
- Upon the fragments of my shattered dreams, I shall plant the seeds of a new spring!
At the same time, tens of thousands of white paper flower petals poured from the ceiling of the stage like snow.
When the intense lights illuminated those petals, the inside of Gocheok Dome sparkled as if it were the middle of the Milky Way.
As the instruments filling out the background strangely faded away, my voice completely filled the empty space they left behind.
That crystalline voice raised pillars of brilliant light where everything had been burned away.
I drew out the final high note with all my strength.
It was a volume difficult for a nine-year-old child's body to handle, but in that moment, the limits of my voice felt larger than the dome itself.
The stormlike sound ebbed away like the tide going out.
Once again, only my synths and my voice remained.
- Goodbye, my four seasons.
- At last, I call my own name.
After murmuring the final line, I lightly muted the guitar strings and brought the performance to an end.
The cheers pouring from more than ten thousand spectators at once felt less like sound than a gigantic wave.
It became a massive physical wave that crashed over my small body, heating the entire air of Gocheok Dome.
“Ha… hehe.”
Even as I tried to hold it back, a crooked smile slipped between my lips.
The 17,000 lightsticks before me swayed like the Milky Way spilling across a nighttime sea.
In my previous life, I had planned and directed countless stages as a producer, but they had only ever been sights viewed through the cold barrier of a monitor.
I had never physically received the echo of drums pounding against my heart or the audience's desire surging out in response to my voice as I did now.
A thrilling shiver rose from the soles of my feet, traveled up my spine, and reached my brain.
Whether from the heat of the lights or the emotion swelling inside me, my cheeks flushed bright red.
‘Yeah, this was it.’
Perhaps this was the kind of sight I had been craving ever since music stopped being fun for me as a composer.
Not the shadow writing songs behind someone else, but the fleeting magic of shaking people's hearts with my own voice and my own story.
At this moment, I was standing at the summit of Gocheok Dome.
The falling petals caught the lights and descended over my head like jewels.
I took in each fragment of that light with my eyes.
Joo Jinwoo's desperate scream and Blooming's fresh youth had both been wonderful, but it was clearly my Four Seasons that now ruled the air.
The shackles of being an orphan, the lingering attachments from my previous life, even the trivial worry of being short—all of it felt as though it were melting and evaporating into the enormous roar.
I adjusted the guitar on my shoulder and slowly turned my gaze toward the audience.
People who were crying, people screaming my name until their voices broke, and people staring at me with eyes full of awe.
For this moment, I was the happiest and most immense being in the world.
Even though I possessed the small body of a child not even 150 centimeters tall, my soul was soaring higher than the enormous ceiling of Gocheok Dome.
* * *
“Damn scalpers…!”
Contrary to her expectation that tickets would be somewhat easy to obtain, Go Hyena had failed to book a single seat among Gocheok Dome's roughly 17,000 seats, leaving her no choice but to crack open a can of beer in her studio apartment and watch Singerstar on her computer.
Unlike most television programs these days, Singerstar was also easy to watch for free on a computer.
“Ah, even so, three times the price is too much!”
The biggest reason Go Hyena had given up on attending the finals in person was the price gouging by scalpers whose consciences had long since died.
Three times the face value was more than a poor college student like Go Hyena could afford, so, like a samurai preparing to commit seppuku, she swallowed her tears and gave up on going to Gocheok.
As time passed and she was nearly finished with the yeop-tteok she had ordered as a snack (she had not even drunk half her beer), Seo Siyeon's turn onstage finally arrived.
“Oooo! Finally!”
Before the stage, the orphanage children's cheering had already made her cry her eyes out.
“Sniff, sob…”
Soon afterward, it was Seo Siyeon's turn.
This time, Go Hyena focused all her attention on the screen, filled with anticipation for whatever stage her favorite would show them.
“Oh…”
It began with a progression carrying a sensibility similar to the American pop music she had been hearing more often lately.
But what caught Go Hyena's ear was the lyrics more than the song itself.
My Four Seasons, which had supposedly expressed my resolve and anxiety about my future and the path ahead in the broadcast aired the previous week.
From those lyrics and Seo Siyeon's attitude as she faced the stage, Go Hyena felt awe rather than pity.
The mature thoughts of someone so young, layered with a somewhat childlike and honest anxiety.
Her genius was not too perfect, yet it was laid bare so plainly that it could not be hidden, and it sent a shiver through Go Hyena's entire body.
* * *
“Actually… it shouldn't be difficult to predict the result.”
Lee Hajun muttered that as he watched the television in his office.
Blooming had put on a fine stage, and Joo Jinwoo had delivered an overwhelming one.
In another season, either of those two teams would have been worthy of taking the victory.
But this time, the situation was entirely different.
“This stage… will become one that remains in the history of audition programs.”
The story of an ordinary orphan girl making it all the way to the finals of an audition program.
The genius of Seo Siyeon's abilities as a composer and lyricist.
Her almost possessed-like rapid growth as a vocalist and her monstrous live skills onstage.
On a stage intimidating enough to make even adults tremble and make mistake after mistake, she did not tremble—instead, she enjoyed herself.
“A child born to become a star.”
That was his assessment.
Seo Siyeon was destined to become a star somehow.
And whether the public would celebrate the birth of that star with a victory, or make her experience a single setback…
It was all too obvious.
* * *
The reason I had initially decided to appear on Singerstar was brutally practical.
I had planned to use my previous life's talent and my current life's incredible story to make a name for myself, then earn money tooth and nail by filming commercials or selling songs.
But as the rounds continued, my state of mind gradually changed.
Ironically, while inhabiting nine-year-old Seo Siyeon's body, I was genuinely growing with every stage.
To survive, and to prove myself, I constantly whipped myself forward and honed my own weapon.
“Singerstar Season 5. Now, I will announce the glorious winner.”
Under normal circumstances, the host would have drawn things out for quite some time with a commercial break, but today was an exception.
The moment he received the script, he announced the winner's name without hesitation, his voice full of force.
“Congratulations! The winner is Seo Siyeon!”
At that moment, the tension in my legs, which had been pulled taut, suddenly snapped loose.
“Ha, haha…”
A chilly sensation spread through me as my bottom touched the cold stage floor. But inside my heart, something hot surged up.
I burst out laughing.
Of all the smiles I had shown across my previous and current lives, the most childlike and purest smile was spreading across my face.