The Present I've Been Searching for Since Last Year!

What I had to face right now wasn't Azeline or anything like that.

Even if the heavens split in two, my growth came first.

Whether I ended up succeeding or failing, I had to become stronger first.

Only after securing my own martial strength could I gather my people and help them grow strong.

"First, I need to weave a solar ring."

Click—

After returning to my room, I locked the door first.

If someone came in midway, it could disrupt my concentration.

I took a fire thistle root from inside my clothes. It was a root imbued with the power of a fire spirit.

It was something I'd instructed a servant to acquire in advance.

It was far from a refined pill or a precious elixir brewed with care.

It was nothing more than a rough, tough wild herb that hadn't even been processed.

That didn't matter.

Weaving a solar ring wasn't about the medicinal efficacy of some herb.

It required the caster's unyielding stubbornness and determination to kindle a spark.

'Even the mental fortitude not to waver before mind demons.'

Solar put its users through trials, hardening body and mind.

If I couldn't endure, I'd be cooked alive by the heat rising inside my body; if I stoked more fire than I could handle, I'd be engulfed by karmic flames and burned to ash.

Trials weren't limited to this sort of physical pain.

They also inflicted hallucinations, auditory hallucinations, and mind demons that manipulated memories.

I had to overcome all of them to weave even a single solar ring.

"Hoo—"

They say well begun is half done.

Weaving a ring from a pile of firewood without even an ember would be impossible even if I had two lives.

Especially now, with Luna already occupying my core.

The sun and moon couldn't coexist. They repelled each other.

That meant I also had to endure the repulsive force generated by their incompatibility.

"All the better."

They say pain that doesn't kill me makes me stronger, don't they?

If I died? Well, that would be a shame in its own way.

I immediately sat cross-legged where I stood and closed my eyes.

Hoo....

I steadied my breathing. Rather than listening to sounds from outside, I focused on the sound of my heartbeat.

Crunch!

Maintaining my composure, I put the root in my mouth, chewed, and swallowed it. Its bitter juice slid down my throat.

How many minutes had passed?

Fwoosh!

"Ghk—!"

Without warning, explosive heat began to seethe. It felt as if what flowed through my veins wasn't blood but boiling lava.

The moisture in my body evaporated, and it felt as though my organs were drying up and burning.

My skin flushed red-hot, and every time I exhaled, a scorching, acrid wind poured out.

The meridians through which my qi and blood flowed began to writhe in response.

'Now it begins.'

Weaving the ring was no different from throwing myself into the middle of a furnace.

At some point, the flames heating my dantian scattered into the meridians spread throughout my body.

I couldn't let a single ember slip away. Nor could I let any of it go to waste.

Controlling heat concentrated in one place was easy.

Controlling the heat spreading into every corner of my body and guiding its direction was an entirely different level of difficulty.

If even an ember leaped out of the meridians, my organs would melt away.

I had to control the flames so they circulated only along the meridians' paths. In the end, I had to drive them into my core.

'Focus. If I miss even one, I'll die a pointless death.'

Thump—thump—

My heart pounded violently.

Hundreds, thousands of scattered embers thrashed about, trying to escape the meridians.

It felt as if my skin would split and my bones were melting.

'Good. It's going well.'

It was an auspicious sign that the impurities in my body were burning away. It was an ecstasy I hadn't felt in a long time.

Despite the twisting pain in my gut, I calmly circulated Solar. I forcibly twisted the stray flames and shoved them back into their appointed paths.

Crackle—!

The fire qi circulating through my meridians began to surge backward toward my heart meridian with ferocious force.

The heart meridian I'd forged by consuming countless elixirs since childhood. Luna's energy pushed back against the heat. The more it resisted, the more I regulated my breathing and spurred the flames onward.

Fwoosh—!

Flames shot up from my core all at once.

They swallowed Luna whole and reduced it to ash.

I swallowed the foolish worry that my heart might melt away just like this.

Hissss....

The heat in my body's meridians and core subsided.

When I opened my mouth, fragrant smoke rose between my teeth.

Every sensation in my body sharpened, and a vitality that felt ready to burst slammed through me. My body, which had been boiling, cooled in an instant.

I carefully placed a hand over my chest.

The flames had settled near my heart, revolving like a ring.

It wasn't over yet.

Suddenly, an irresistible wave of sleep crashed over me.

Was it the backlash from forcibly burning away the impurities in my body? My eyelids grew heavy as lead, and my vision went black.

Blink.

When I opened my eyes again, the ceiling of my room came into view.

A soft blanket covered my upper body.

"O-Older Brother? Are you awake?"

When I turned my head, Celine, a girl with platinum-blond hair braided into twin pigtails, was standing there.

Celine approached the bedside, fidgeting like a frightened small animal.

The way she toyed with both hands made her nervousness obvious.

"All of a sudden, I heard a boom! from inside your room.... When I forced the door open and came in, you were lying there. I was so startled, I can't even tell you."

Her tearful voice and worried gaze. Even the warm body heat cautiously reaching toward me.

Everything felt like a perfectly crafted reality.

I silently raised my upper body.

"Celine."

"Yes, Older Brother. Is anything hurting...."

Before she could finish speaking.

"⸻Ghk!"

I wrapped both hands around Celine's neck. I shoved her against the bed and pinned her down with my weight.

Celine's eyes widened as if they would pop out. Her slender limbs thrashed desperately for their lives.

"Khhk! Ghk.... O-Older Brother.... Why... whyyy......?"

Her delicate hands clutched my sleeves and trembled. The blood vessels in her eyes burst, and viscous drool dribbled from the corner of her mouth.

Even as I watched, I didn't allow myself the slightest wavering.

Celine was the most fragile person, the one I wanted to protect most. The mind demon was exploiting those feelings.

—tin.

⸻stin.

I had no mercy to spare for the fake thing burrowing into the cracks of my mind.

I tightened my grip, clamping hard around its neck.

"Ghk! O-Older Bro... please save me......"

Tap! Tap! Tap!

The thing mimicking Celine frantically slapped my hand.

Even attempting to distinguish whether it was a mind demon or reality meant letting myself be caught in another hallucination.

Only certainty mattered.

I increased the pressure, as though I meant to snap its neck.

⸻Astin.

"......?"

My eyes snapped open.

After staring blankly for a moment, I slowly looked around.

Pat!

I flinched at the sudden sensation of something landing on my shoulder.

I reflexively turned my head and saw a sullen face.

"Astin? Are you listening to me?"

"......What?"

"Honestly. You're spacing out while I'm talking about something important."

Faded colors filled my vision.

Ruins of buildings were strewn in every direction. Ashes, bloodstains, and corpses whose forms were impossible to make out.

"Ah, right."

We were in the middle of the final battle with the black things. I'd just taken a black serpent's head. We were about to die.

Right now, I was sitting beside Lucia and talking.

"Why are you sweating so much? What, are you scared after seeing those things? Did you see a vision of your life flashing before your eyes because you thought this was the final moment?"

"Yeah, tell me about it."

I let out a long sigh, leaned my upper body back, and craned my neck to look up at the desolate sky.

"...It's all over now."

My entire body was covered in wounds, and the circuits inside me had been heated to their limit by overloading.

While the black things kept surging toward us without end, we were barely capable of standing.

Acrid smoke brushed past my eyes.

Lucia watched me after taking her cigarette from her mouth.

"Astin, have you ever heard of Deus Harven's legacy?"

I raised my eyes at the unexpected question.

Deus. Deus Harven....

The name felt strangely familiar, and then I remembered that the Seventh-Rank archmage known only through legend bore that name.

"Why bring that up when we're on the verge of dying?"

"You know about the research Harven clung to until just before his death—the attempt to complete time magic? And how it ended unfinished, with only the theory remaining."

"I know the basics. So why do you keep bringing it up?"

"I think I may have completed it."

"What?"

I immediately shot my upper body upright.

"Maybe I can turn back time to the past."

I could only stare at her, dumbfounded.

If she was the Lucia I knew, her words were close to the truth.

She was the protagonist who had received every opportunity and blessing in the world.

With Lucia's overwhelming talent, she might have completed the miracle even the archmage had failed to achieve.

"This is it."

Lucia pulled something palm-sized from inside her clothes. It was an old silver pocket watch.

I could feel immense magical power condensed within it.

"Ha, haha."

Laughter escaped me of its own accord.

It felt as though a tiny ember buried in muddy water was flaring up again.

"But...."

Squeeze—

Lucia clenched the pocket watch. Blood seeped from her palm.

"Even if I turn back time, I don't know if I'll be able to do it. No, honestly, I don't have the confidence to protect the world."

"What are you talking about?"

"I'll waver just the same. Even if I keep moving straight ahead, I don't think I'll be able to save the world. What could I accomplish with a mindset like this? I guess I can't become someone as strong as you, either."

Lucia shook her head bitterly.

"I want to die here. Together with you."

She was as exhausted as I was.

"I don't intend to dump this heavy burden on you, either. You'd resent me if we went back. We'd end up with the exact same result. I don't want to make you go through this living hell twice. I don't even know if you'll be able to do it."

I was rendered speechless.

Even after thinking about it briefly, I knew she was right.

We had felt what the black things were like firsthand for years.

Even if we went back to the past, I didn't have the confidence to save the world from those things. If there was any hope, it was at most one chance in ten.

I gave up and lowered my sword.

The world's destruction was already certain, so there was no reason to turn back time.

Lucia moved to my side and pressed her shoulder against mine.

At least I was glad to have her.

Even at the moment of death, I could still feel a person's warmth.

She was easy on the eyes, too, so it was a luxury of sorts.

Rumble—!

The ground shook. Black things were surging in from beyond the blood-red horizon.

"Astin."

Lucia called my name softly.

When I turned my head, Lucia's face was right in front of mine.

She slowly drew her face closer to mine.

We were so close our eyelashes could touch. Her breath, mingled with the smell of blood, brushed my cheek.

As if bewitched, I closed my eyes and let my lips meet hers.

"...No."

I abruptly pulled my head back. At the same time, I snatched the pocket watch from Lucia's hand.

I felt its heavy chill in my grip.

Lucia's eyes, reflecting me, widened.

"I have to go back."

"Why?"

"Why ask? You already know, don't you?"

We looked at each other without a word.

The black things surging toward us stopped as if they'd never moved.

The drifting ash stopped in midair without falling.

Even the smoke rising from the end of her cigarette stopped trembling.

The entire world except the two of us had stopped.

Lucia's mouth, frozen in the same way, twitched.

A warm smile spread across her face.

"You got it right, Astin."

"......!"

I sucked in a ragged breath and opened my eyes.

The familiar sight of my room filled my vision.

My whole body was drenched in sweat, and my throat was parched with thirst.

As I sat there dazed, my brow suddenly furrowed.

It was because the memories of the past had belatedly flooded into my mind like a panorama.

"...Hah."

A hollow laugh escaped me.

So that's how it happened.

I brought the hand braced against the floor to the area near my heart.

Only then did I breathe a sigh of relief.

I succeeded. I had woven a solar ring.

The ring that had been spinning violently moments ago had calmed down somewhat.

-Knock knock

That was when I heard a knock.

I flinched for no reason and glared at the door.

I was worried there might still be aftereffects from the mind demon.

-Older Brother. Are you in there?

"Celine?"

-Eek. You were there. It's me.

Come to think of it, I remembered that mind demons hardly left any aftereffects.

I struggled to my feet, grabbed the doorknob, and opened it.

It was only a few steps, but both my legs were trembling.

If anything counted as an aftereffect, it was the state of my body and mind.

Creak—

Celine appeared through the open door.

She gave a small shiver, then looked up at me hesitantly.

"I-I came because I have something to give you, Older Brother."

"For me?"

"Yes. I actually wanted to give it to you for a while, but I was too nervous.... But your birthday will be over in three hours, right? So I thought I should give you your present now, even if it's―"

Bang!

Closing the door made me feel much more at ease.

-O-Older Brother!?

"I haven't fully shaken off the mind demon."

It was the same with Celine and with Lucia.

When I wove the ring, part of me had wanted Celine to nurse me.

Sometimes I had also wanted to cast off this heavy burden and feel at ease.

How could I not have wanted Celine to give me a birthday present, just as she was now?

-It's a present I've been searching for since last year!

I locked the door and firmly shut my ears.

I shouldn't leave this room for the rest of today.