Chapter 1: Regression

Once, a junior colleague working overtime next to me asked:

"Senior, if you could go back to the past, what would you want to do?"

"Why the sudden interest in the past?"

"If we don't chat like this, I might fall asleep..."

"You're exaggerating... Anyway, what would you do?"

"First of all, I'd definitely stop myself from submitting job applications to gaming companies. What about you, Team Leader?"

I answered my junior's question after pondering for a moment.

"If I went back to the past, I'd probably throw away those project proposals that constantly pandered to the business team and create a game full of cute girls that I like."

***

I was a coward.

A coward who couldn't even seize the opportunities due to the uncertainty of the future.

I succeeded in joining the mobile game development team I so desperately wanted, but couldn't make the games I truly desired.

At that time, I wasn't confident that subculture games could succeed.

Whenever I talked to people around me about the games I wanted to make, I always heard the same things:

"Ho-jin, get your head straight. It's too early for our country to make games like that. This is Korea, not Japan."

The notion that it was too early for such games to come out in our country.

"Subculture? IP business? Of course, it'd be great if it succeeds. But how many so-called otakus are there in our country? Don't you know about economies of scale?"

The idea that there weren't enough otaku enjoying subculture in our country for it to work.

"Even so, a cute girl collection game is a bit... Do you think people will pay tens of thousands of won for these little picture fragments?"

The belief that absolutely no one would pay money to play such games.

Looking back now, these were just the nonsensical remarks from ignorant fortune-tellers.

At that time, the perception of subculture was so low that such comments were considered normal.

But due to the pressure of my position as the team leader of the newly established mobile development team and the need for results, I couldn't ignore these voices.

The result of compromising with reality was this:

"Sigh... Ho-jin. The division head is going crazy right now. It's one thing if it was somewhere else, but Enson's new game hit number one in Play Store sales, and the business department's atmosphere is no joke."

"I... I'm sorry..."

"Don't just say you're sorry, please do better... Didn't we have a few collection game proposals from our planning department last time? Why didn't you submit them?"

'If I had submitted them, I would have been torn apart for treating the company like a joke...'

When the mobile development team was first established, I clearly told the department head.

I said that IP would become important in the future and that subculture would become a blue ocean.

But what did the department head say? Who would spend money on games collecting these picture fragments?

How could we do business targeting otakus who lacked purchasing power and were few in number?

I wanted to shout all of this, but... I couldn't say anything in the end.

I couldn't entirely blame the department head, as I was also at fault for not pushing harder.

Before blaming anyone else, I could only think:

'Am I doing the right thing now?'

As I turned my head to look at one wall, I saw a poster of a mobile game we developed about a year ago.

A mobile RPG that successfully established itself, fluctuating in the mid to upper ranks of the Play Store sales rankings.

It might have been a satisfactory result for directors who prioritize sales and performance, but I couldn't feel any satisfaction.

Instead of the thrill and sense of achievement from my game's success, all I felt was a terrible sense of emptiness.

What exactly was the problem?

As I followed this train of thought, memories of my past began to surface.

The subculture I was introduced to through manga and game consoles my father brought back from his frequent business trips to Japan when I was young.

What started as a casual interest in subculture soon became a part of my life.

The turning point in my otherwise smooth and uneventful life came during my college years.

It was after I made a game with friends I met in a subculture club I had joined by chance.

We created a derivative game based on a popular doujin circle that was trending in Japan, and it unexpectedly went viral.

The sense of achievement and excitement I felt as we received real-time praise at the doujin game event was indescribable.

It was because I couldn't forget that feeling that I decided to become a game planner.

Reflecting on those times, I understood why I was now in such anguish.

It was ultimately my problem.

The self-loathing for abandoning my dreams and compromising with reality.

The fact that I would have to do these uninteresting things for the rest of my life as the price for taking a wrong turn was eating away at me.

I had to make a decision.

Should I continue on this path with the resignation that this is how all mature adults live?

Or should I turn back now, become a childish adult, and pursue my dreams?

After much deliberation, I realized that I was still a childish adult.

"You're resigning? Why so suddenly?"

"I want to try making a game full of cute girls that I like."

"I see. You did well here, so you'll do well wherever you go. Thanks for your hard work."

It only took 10 minutes to hand in my employee ID and leave after the strange look the Department Head gave me upon hearing my ambition.

In just 10 minutes, my frustrating company life came to an end.

***

Although I impulsively left the company, I wasn't too worried.

My severance pay and accumulated performance bonuses amounted to a substantial sum.

Moreover, I had no hobbies or relationships that would drain my money, so there was little chance of it being spent.

It took a day to inform my parents about my resignation and persuade them.

Three days to catch up on the new subculture mobile games I had missed due to lack of time while at the company.

After completing all preparations in four days, I began planning.

The framework was already in place, as I had been conceptualizing it bit by bit during my time at the company.

No matter how dark and heavy the main story progresses, there should be a peaceful daily life part afterward,

The worldview should be far from depression or PTSD,

The story should have youth and the potential for romantic comedy.

Although this setting was the opposite of the current trend of heavy and dark genres in subculture mobile games, I wasn't particularly worried.

I believed that the foundation of subculture lies in casual and youthful stories, and that there would definitely be a demand for such content.

Once the story's framework was established, everything else fell into place quickly.

First, the setting of the academy city 'Arc', which would be the stage for the main story.

Then, the settings for the main characters who would freely act on this stage.

And finally, the settings for the supporting characters and mobs who would support the main characters and enrich the story.

I couldn't rest for a moment while fleshing out the bare-bones plan and writing the story based on it.

I felt that if I rested even a little, this flow I had ridden would be broken.

After nearly a month of running on reduced sleep, I was able to complete the project proposal.

[Girls Memorial]

This was the title of my first work, which told the story of girls struggling to maintain peace and normalcy despite various hardships and adversities.

*

As I pondered over the displayed project proposal, I picked up my smartphone and called somewhere.

After a brief dial tone, a familiar voice came through.

[Ah, senior, it's been a while. I heard you retired, how have you been?]

"How I've been... I nearly died."

[Why? With your severance pay, I thought you'd be relaxing or traveling somewhere.]

"I wanted to, but my personality wouldn't let me rest."

[True, you did have workaholic tendencies even when you were at the company. So, what's up?]

"By any chance, has the experienced hire recruitment you mentioned before closed?"

[Probably not? As you know well, while we might be full for new graduates, we're always short on experienced staff. Are you coming here?]

Hearing the subtly expectant voice of my junior, I said with a smile:

"I think I might. I've completed a project proposal, should I send it to you?"

[Of course! If you send it to me, I'll forward it right away.]

Listening to my junior's willing acceptance of my request, I felt some of the frustration I'd been feeling lately start to dissipate.

"Thanks... I owe you a meal."

As I stood up to send the project proposal while listening to my junior's voice, it happened.

Thump.

Suddenly, a severe pain struck my chest.

I felt my body go limp from the excruciating pain, as if someone was stabbing my chest with a knife.

Thud─!!

I needed to ask my junior on the phone to call an ambulance, but no words came out of my mouth.

All I could do was crawl towards the smartphone I dropped.

[Se-Senior? What's wrong?!]

I needed to say something to my junior... but...

Contrary to my thoughts, his voice grew more and more distant.

My vision began to darken as my consciousness sank.

[Senior! Senior!!]

Finally, as my vision went completely black, the end came.