Chapter 17
「We might make a pretty good team, don’t you think~?」
She said team.
「We might make a pretty good team, don’t you think~?」
She called us a team.
「We might make a pretty good team, don’t you think~?」
She said we’d become a team.
「We might make a pretty good team, don’t you think~?」
Team…!
“Kyah-ha!”
It had already been four hours since Cheong Harin lay down on the sofa.
The chicken party had ended at one in the morning, and sunrise was just around the corner.
An office without a single bed, with the sound of old, creaking springs… No wonder she couldn’t sleep.
But the mere thought of working alongside Baek San-a drove Cheong Harin wild.
She still had a few questions about her, but the anticipation of success was stronger.
‘If I keep working with San-a, maybe I’ll get a good Sephira? Then my fixer grade will go up naturally? I’ll work with all those famous fixers I’ve only ever heard about? I’ll get invited to large-scale government operations? And before I know it, I’ll be a veteran at the office, respected by all the adorable juniors…!’
A string of delusions that felt almost like dreams, despite not sleeping.
Just when she started thinking that before long, she might even make it into Seoul’s Five-Man Council…
“Khhhhrrr….”
Cheong Harin finally drifted off to dreamland.
* * *
— Cock-a-doodle-doooooooooo———!!!
The insane rooster call that had been forcibly waking Koreans at six in the morning for over a decade.
As soon as I got up, I went to the roof and looked toward the distant southern mountains.
“For a chicken, that thing sure has a filthy loud voice….”
Far off in the mountains, a chicken’s head stuck out.
When I lived in the quarantine facility, it was deep underground, so I had no idea. But living close to the surface meant that damn rooster had kept me up more times than I could count.
It was a rule of thumb to sleep at least ten hours on days I ate food with garlic….
But flying all the way over there would be a pain.
I just left it alone, figuring I needed something like that to keep me from getting lazy.
Still, it was weird.
Beyond the border there had to be more than a few magical beasts even worse than a chicken, so how was it still alive?
“If you command me, I shall go at once and present it to you as fried chicken.”
Cheong Harin—or rather, Rubina, who’d been sound asleep just moments ago—had gotten up and was standing beside me.
With that gleam in her eyes, she looked ready to actually do it if I told her to.
…But could the blood donation bus take down that monstrous chicken?
“Come to think of it, I haven’t heard the details of your ability. Can you tell me about it?”
Surprisingly, the blood donation bus’s ability was perfectly optimized for catching chickens.
It might even be the perfect counter to any living creature.
“The needle pierces without causing any pain. And once it’s stuck in, you can decide whether to kill the target or not?”
“That is correct.”
But there was one fatal problem.
“But it takes an hour to drain all the blood.”
“If I form my territory, that time will be reduced to a quarter.”
“Still fifteen minutes. Do you think an anomaly will wait around that long?”
“Y-you are absolutely right.”
All I could see was a future where Cheong Harin got cocky with the blood donation bus’s ability and got her ass kicked.
1. She dies to the anomaly before the full hour is up.
2. She dies to the anomaly before she can form her territory.
3. She forms her territory, but dies to the anomaly before fifteen minutes are up.
4. She dies the moment she sticks the needle in.
…And so on.
“Realistically, forming your territory and holding out is your only chance of survival, isn’t it?”
“I am truly ashamed before my parent….”
“No, no. Well, it might come in handy someday. Anomalies aren’t magical beasts or creatures you can just beat up.”
So for now, Rubina’s ability was best used defensively….
“That territory of yours. What determines how you form it?”
“I need only come into contact with something that falls under the category of a vehicle.”
“What? That’s super easy. Does the territory’s durability depend on the vehicle?”
“It does.”
So all the blood donation buses that the fixers and I had gleefully smashed were part of Rubina’s territory.
There’s no limit to how many vehicles can be linked, so it’s hard to imagine anything better for holding out. She can just keep running away.
‘Now I think I understand why the fixers hadn’t caught her all this time.’
There was the caveat that it required fighting in an urban area… but still, not bad.
On to the next question.
“What happens to someone you’ve started drawing blood from before forming your territory?”
“The tube will extend outside the vehicle that formed the territory.”
“Oh? Really? That’s actually really good.”
“As you mentioned earlier, I do not believe that is a particularly useful function, however….”
“No, no. If you connect it to me, wouldn’t I basically count as being inside the territory?”
“I apologize… I have not had the opportunity to test that.”
“Let’s do it right now.”
The sun still hadn’t fully risen.
Once the sun came up, I’d start sweating all over and feel sluggish, so now was the perfect time to test it.
First, I connected Rubina’s IV line to myself.
When she didn’t set anything, as I’d expected, blood naturally flowed into her.
That was because my blood was sealed, so Rubina had more blood than I did right now.
Then what would happen if she formed her territory here?
I picked a random abandoned van nearby and had her open up her territory—.
“Ghk…!”
“Oh.”
The blood in the IV line began to flow in reverse.
It was even moving about a hundred times faster than before.
I immediately stopped the flow of blood and waited for Woo Cheonyeop to contact me.
One minute, two minutes, three minutes.
“…He’s not coming.”
If I unleashed my power this way without pulling out a cross, would Woo Cheonyeop not notice?
So I’d gained the perfect retainer for someone like me, who was pretending to be weak so I could get into downtown.
“Rubina, I think you and I are pretty compatible.”
Rubina blushed and lowered her head.
“Y-your grace is overwhelming. I am at a loss for words that you should think so highly of this unworthy one.”
And this side of her was like her body’s owner, too.
…Was that why the two of them had fused?
I’d once told someone on the gallery who said psychological factors affected awakening to quit talking nonsense, but I’d have to apologize today.
“Cheong Harin’s going to get her ability assessment sometime next week. Don’t show them either territory formation or blood extraction. Oh, I’m not saying you shouldn’t use them in an emergency. Use them as you see fit then.”
For now, I should keep this trump card hidden and only use it when necessary~.
“Then would I have nothing at all to show them?”
“You can use the needle you draw blood with as a weapon, can’t you? She used to swing a sword, so that’ll be enough for now. Even if she learns a bunch of new things, she won’t be able to use them properly anyway.
Cheong Harin might be disappointed, so comfort her then.”
“Understood.”
* * *
… ─[[ Fixer Gallery ]]─ …
[Sob, sob]
I went to get my ability assessment today, and the woman who went before me was insane
(Photo)
She had white hair and red eyes, a cute face, great style, and was so charming—damn, she was literally my ideal bride
I guess the assessment didn’t go well
When she came out looking all dejected and droopy, I wanted to cry for her……
ㄴ Why post only the back of her head like a coward?
ㄴ *) I don’t wanna get sued…
ㄴ Aren’t fixers public figures anyway? Isn’t it okay to take photos?
ㄴ True, but posts like this are easy to get hit with a civil suit lol
ㄴ AI Appraiser) Easy enough
ㄴ Eek!
ㄴ Aah, a lawyer! Run!
ㄴ AI Appraiser) She certainly is an appealing person.
ㄴ ?
ㄴ I didn’t expect the old man to leave a comment like this
ㄴ AI Appraiser) It’s not harassment or lewd commentary, just a sincere compliment, so it’s fine.
ㄴ AI Appraiser) Besides, if she sues later, it’s useful to have my comment on the record as evidence.
ㄴ Gasp
ㄴ Gasp
ㄴ Take care, OP
ㄴ *) Save me
The ability assessment was a process that took a full day.
She went in the morning and didn’t come back until after Auntie Rok-hee got off work.
While browsing the gallery, I hurried over to comfort Cheong Harin, who came in looking down.
“I wanted to be more helpful….”
“What’s wrong with being Grade Da?”
“But, San-a-nim, it’d be kind of weird for a Grade Ga fixer to bring around a Grade Da….”
“Why would I bring you around, Butler?”
“If I’d at least gotten Grade Na, I could’ve helped… Huh? Butler…?”
“I’m not even a registered fixer in the first place. I’m just a pet belonging to a fixer office.”
Cheong Harin shook her head as if she couldn’t believe it.
“You’re not registered…? Didn’t you just choose not to register? Or did you fall out with the Management Bureau? Did those bastards really take your license away, San-a-nim?”
“No, no. It’s all a misunderstanding. Calm down.”
“It’s because what you’re saying makes no sense…!”
Apparently, explaining my identity to her—or convincing her—was going to be difficult.
I figured the best thing was to let her believe whatever she wanted.
Just how badly did she want me to be the representative to act like that?
Had she been through a lot under the representative at the Cheong Clan Alliance?
“Well, you can think whatever you want. I’m not going on missions unless I have to.”
“Why not…?”
“Auntie Rok-hee, who’s stationed here, and you should be enough on your own.”
Cheong Harin’s face fell.
She really wanted to work with me that badly.
‘Don’t make me feel bad….’
Well, yeah. I had to start recovering little by little from my life as a gallery addict, too.
And I had to toss Auntie Rok-hee a few more hints, so maybe once a month….
“All right. I’ll come along on a mission at least once a month. But I’m a pet, so I can’t submit mission requests or register the results. You and Auntie Rok-hee will have to handle that between the two of you. Got it?”
“Yes, yes! Great!”
“And when it’s just the two of us, I don’t care what you call me. But outside, don’t call me ‘representative’ or use honorifics for me. I don’t want to cause any unnecessary misunderstandings. If you disobey~?”
I drew a finger across my throat, and Cheong Harin nodded repeatedly.
“Y-yes! I’ll carve it into my bones!!”
From what people said on the Fixer Gallery, fixers really hated having the representative tag along.
What a strange office this had become.
No, why wouldn’t she believe me when I said I wasn’t the representative?
“U-um. Could I go to the convenience store for a bit?”
“You don’t have to ask permission for that.”
“R-right. I was in a good mood, so I thought I’d grab a can of fake beer….”
“Oh, then get me a fake soda while you’re out.”
“Sure!”
After Cheong Harin left, I floated up in the silent office and stretched out.
‘Still, is this where it starts?’
Even if I lounge around at the office, my contribution points are on auto-farm now!
I was in a good mood, so I should make a post on the gallery.
[I Can Dominate Contribution Points]
Author: AnomalyLivingItsBestLife360
I can rack up contribution points while just browsing the gallery from my room
I can dominate Seoul!
ㄴ Have you finally gone crazy?
ㄴ Sounds like bullshit, but if it works, that’d be awesome lol
ㄴ For real… I saw someone say they bought a house with contribution points. I’m so jealous.
ㄴ Wait, were you the office representative?
ㄴ How can a fixer office representative be a spammer and a shitposter
ㄴ Ah, I wanna fuck contribution points too!!!
ㄴ Shut up, idiot!
ㄴ AI Appraiser) Doesn’t money accumulate too?
ㄴ AnomalyLivingItsBestLife360*) Money builds up too~
ㄴ AI Appraiser) Let me know if you need help with your taxes later.
ㄴ AI Appraiser) I can connect you with someone I know.
ㄴ AnomalyLivingItsBestLife360*) I don’t do that, so I’m good.
ㄴ AI Appraiser) Too bad.
ㄴ This old guy’s doing business here, too.
ㄴ He’s relentless, I swear.
ㄴ One-Punch Man🔸) Want to be a mod?
ㄴ One-Punch Man🔸) Mods get free contribution points too
ㄴ AnomalyLivingItsBestLife360*) Having to delete shit pics, gross pics, and gore pics is a bit much
ㄴ AnomalyLivingItsBestLife360*) Besides, spamming is more fun
ㄴ One-Punch Man🔸) k
ㄴ One-Punch Man🔸) Retroactively applying a week-long ban for all that spamming you’ve done
ㄴ AnomalyLivingItsBestLife360*) What
ㄴ AnomalyLivingItsBestLife360*) Cheap entrapment!
ㄴ (This user has been banned)
ㄴ LMAOOOO
ㄴ Spam stopped
Right after that, Woo Cheonyeop contacted me, but there was no need to explain the situation separately.
He wasn’t someone who wanted explanations from me in the first place.
He’d gone and investigated and understood everything on his own.
The only thing he seemed not to know was that her ability was connected to me.
[So half of Ms. Cheong Harin is your retainer, and I don’t need to worry about controlling her?]
“Yes.”
[There’s no guarantee she’s like you. Her hunger for blood hasn’t even been properly assessed yet.]
“B-but… she’s a poor thing. She’s had no luck her whole life, and now she’s finally starting to see the light….”
[A pitiful ‘anomaly,’ you mean.]
“She’s half human….”
[Half-anomaly.]
Damn, this guy is stubborn.
Time to normalize Woo Cheonyeop.
“What if I need Cheong Harin to get into downtown?”
[……. ]
“With Auntie Rok-hee and Cheong Harin, we can farm double the contribution points!”
The long silence spoke for his thoughts.
As expected, the prospect of downtown changed his mind.
“Expulsion device, go?”
[You remember that if she’s expelled once, she’ll be barred from reentry permanently, right?]
“Of course. I’ve behaved myself for six months without causing trouble, right? Since she’s my retainer, she’ll never disobey my orders. I can even feed her magical beast blood if necessary, so don’t worry~.”
[Fine. I’ll send the item. Put it on her yourself.]
“Huh? Deputy Director Byeoksa doesn’t manage it personally?”
[It’s easiest to leave her as an ordinary fixer. And I can’t go there anyway, thanks to the trap you set.]
Gasp.
Had he already figured out I’d deliberately dragged Auntie Kim Rok-hee into this?
He really was a scary man.
“I mean, even if I’m fine with it, she’s still awakened as a Clipa.”
[I’ve already registered her in the Management Bureau database as a Sephira Awakened.]
“Wow. Deputy Director Byeoksa’s power is insane.”
[You should be grateful.]
“Ah—Woo Cheonyeop, god of normalization, the generous tree who gives and gives, handing over a fixer office and representative status for the sake of Baek San-a alone.”
[I’m hanging up.]
Click.
I stared at my terminal and tugged at the corner of my mouth.
“Was that a bit much?”
The message I got right after didn’t really seem to indicate that.
[Woo Cheonyeop: Good luck reaching 100,000 contribution points]
[Woo Cheonyeop: And absolutely do not pull anything like the Cheong Clan Alliance]
Ahhh.
No need to worry about that.
I didn’t expect it to happen this fast….
[Cheong Harin: San-a-nim]
[Cheong Harin: I’ve been kidnapped]
[Cheong Harin: Hel p]
Our unlucky butler had just brought in a job.
[Cheong Harin: (address)]
[Cheong Harin: (bank account)]
[Cheong Harin: Transfer 100,000 credits by midnight]
[Cheong Harin: If you don’t want this woman to die]