Are You a Loser?

Impatience clouds a person's judgment.

That's why masters in novels and manga tell their agitated disciples to calm down and steady their breathing.

By now, Sahyang had firmly established herself as one of the big-name streamers.

But then a newcomer emerged from the stream where Sahyang had only been fooling around and looking for a new person to leech off: 'Lee Jia.' Her arrival made Sahyang anxious.

And the result of that anxiety was unfolding right before her eyes.

"Hic."

Lee Jia was sitting on the wooden floor, making strange sounds like "heup" and "kek," as if she had the hiccups.

I realized what I'd done.

I wasn't an extrovert. I wasn't sociable, and I was the type to be shy around people.

And yet I'd invited a fellow streamer I'd met online to my house, even though I barely knew her face, figure, or personality.

On top of that, I'd only known the streamer for about a month and a half.

'Ah. Ah. Ah!!!'

I screamed inwardly.

I cursed my past self, who'd just been blissfully oblivious until the consequences of my stupid actions came knocking.

'Why am I like this? No, what was I thinking, inviting this person here?'

Above all, I glanced at her face.

"W-why?"

'Aaargh!!'

The moment I saw her face, I was crushed by self-loathing.

Beautiful. If you gave human form to the modern ideal of beauty, she'd look like that.

She'd probably gone to a makeup salon and hair salon to get her hair and face done before meeting me, but even setting that aside, her face was beautiful.

She was tall, in the mid-to-upper 160s, and maybe because she'd only started wearing makeup as an adult, her skin looked great despite her makeup not being heavy.

Above all, her round face could easily have looked like a puffy rice cake if things had gone wrong, but she had just the right amount of cheek.

Cheeks soft enough that men would find them cute.

Her looks inspired not envy, just resignation.

Besides, men say online that they like strong-willed women, but in real life, they probably prefer a kind, motherly woman who listens to them, gives in, and treats them well.

"Is there something on my face...?"

She smiled at me with a bewildered expression and asked.

"N-no."

My heart couldn't take it.

Unable even to look at her face, I just sipped the coffee I'd brought.

"Um, well. This is my first in-person collab..."

She and I were Durahans, meaning streamers who didn't show their faces.

Virtual streamers at least have expressions and such, but what kind of content could streamers like us make by doing an in-person collab?

Then an idea crossed my mind.

Who was the person beside me?

Wasn't this Lee Jia, a streamer with insane talent who'd passed an average viewership of 70 in just a month and a half of streaming?

I cautiously opened my mouth and spoke to her.

#

I was uncomfortable with this situation.

Sahyang had suddenly invited me to her house and suggested we do what was called an 'in-person collab.'

But after bringing me here, all she was doing was acting awkward and drinking coffee with me?

'This is awkward.'

The person I'd seen on YouTube definitely hadn't been like this. Whenever she streamed, she always had content ready, and usually managed to get at least one YouTube-worthy clip a day.

"Um..."

Then she went "Pfft" and started coughing as if she'd choked.

I sighed, patted her back, and asked.

"Are you okay?"

Then she rushed into the kitchen and gulped down water.

"S-sorry..."

Whether I judged by her appearance or what she was like inside, she seemed like a child. I couldn't believe she was the pro streamer Sahyang.

"How old are you? I'm 24."

I took my resident registration card from my wallet, covering the latter digits, and showed it to her.

Then she looked at it, ran to her room, and brought back her own wallet.

"H-here."

Her date of birth was... 2003.

"T-twenty-one?"

Since I was 29 originally, that meant we were almost eight years apart.

In other words, when I graduated high school, she was about to enter sixth grade.

So when I was about to graduate elementary school, she was five.

'You little shit, you're still wet behind the ears...?'

I suddenly felt heat blazing in my head.

'You had the nerve to talk all high-and-mighty to me, acting so relaxed, and even go "Heh" like you were my older sister...?'

My hands trembled as I glared at her.

"W-why?"

She must have noticed me glaring, because she looked at me with a slightly frightened expression.

Smack.

I slapped myself across the face.

Maybe becoming a woman had given me bipolar disorder or something; I suddenly found myself getting angry.

"Get a grip, Lee Jia!"

I slapped my left and right cheeks once each and shouted right there.

"Phew."

I sighed, calmed my emotions, then raised my head and looked at her, flustered.

"So why did you call me here, Ms. Sahyang? No. Since you're younger than me, can I just call you Sahyang?"

I grabbed her shoulders and spoke to her directly, face-to-face.

"Y-yes..."

She trembled like a chick in front of a predator, as though she might let out a peep at any moment.

I let out a deep sigh that seemed to make the earth cave in, then sat on the sofa and looked down at her.

First, I had to establish the pecking order.

"Is Sahyang your real name?"

"N-no..."

"Then what's your real name?"

"Se... Seoyun."

"Don't mumble. Speak clearly."

"I-I'm Seoyun!"

I took out the Vita Stick I'd been carrying instead of cigarettes.

Apparently, after becoming a woman, my lungs—once soaked in nicotine—had gotten clean, so whenever I put a cigarette in my mouth, the stale nicotine reek made me nauseous.

Sss... haa.

I exhaled the Vita Stick vapor in front of her and lowered my head.

Remember how the delinquent girls from my middle and high school days acted.

"Seoyun."

"Y-yes!"

She clearly wasn't a delinquent herself. She seemed to instinctively feel afraid, sweating nervously and sitting rigidly at attention.

"You invited me over, and now you're asking me to do what after giving me nothing but a cup of coffee?"

"S-sorry."

"Do you think I said that because I wanted to hear you apologize? Do you think I'm doing this to you just to hear those words?"

"Then...?"

"I'm asking what you're going to do about it."

I leaned my head forward and looked down at her.

"Seoyun, are you listening to me?"

She hurriedly raised her head and met my eyes.

"Ah. I hear you!"

She shook her head frantically, seeming to try and regain her composure.

"Should we turn the stream on first?"

I put a hand on her shoulder and whispered quietly.

"I-I'll turn it on..."

She hurriedly dashed into her room and turned on her computer.

I cleared my throat—"Ahem"—then quietly sat in the chair beside her.

#

Her room was tidier than I expected.

Two monitors, two computers.

Even though it was a two-bedroom apartment, the space was pleasantly roomy and perfect for streaming, so I secretly envied her.

"How long have you been streaming?"

"Um... I started in middle school, so I guess it's been about five years."

"Five years? That's a long time. Was there a reason you started streaming?"

Maybe because of our earlier clash, her body was stiff somehow.

To loosen her up, I needed small talk, so I kept tossing questions her way—both to ease her nerves and fish for information.

"I started streaming because, um, I didn't have many friends back then. I was short, and I guess people thought I was an easy target."

"Were you bullied?"

"Um... I'm not sure."

Judging from what she said, it sounded like she'd been bullied in school.

'Thinking I acted like a delinquent toward someone who'd been bullied in the past makes me feel kind of guilty.'

I wondered if I'd gone too far, but she looked at me with a bright smile as if nothing had happened.

"I really wasn't bullied like that. I mean..."

"Ah, okay."

I scooted right up next to her.

She jumped in surprise and seemed about to say something, so I stared right into her eyes and said,

"Why?"

"N-no, nothing. It's just been a while since someone else got this close to me..."

'She's really a loser.'

She's an even bigger loser than I was when I first started playing Eid Chronicle, unable to keep a conversation going and just stammering like an idiot.

Maybe because there weren't people around her on stream, her shy personality hadn't been all that apparent. Right now, it was very obvious.

Her eyes were fixed on the computer as she focused on setting up her stream, so I quietly crept over beside her without her noticing.

"Huwaaah?!"

She'd already turned on her stream, so her entire scream went out live, and the chat was filled with question marks asking if something weird had happened to her.

I snickered at her and quietly backed away.

She panted, "Haa, haa," and when she saw the stream was live, she cleared her throat. "Ahem."

"H-hello!"

She spoke into the microphone, then gestured for me to come over.

"Please say hello."

She whispered to me, and I whispered very quietly into the microphone.

"Lee Ji..."

Then the chat filled with question marks.

[Sahyang: Can't hear you?]

[Yeah]

[No, we can't hear you]

[What'd she say?]

"Lee Jia..."

[Still can't hear you]

I immediately put my mouth to the microphone and shouted.

"Hello, I'm Lee Jia!!!!!!!!!!!"

[!Title]

[Ssakdook: Pro Streamer Lee Jia In-Person Collab]