Chapter 1
Dungeon.
A motif that appears often in games.
Inside dungeons, there are enormous treasures and monsters.
The protagonist explores them, defeats monsters, earns rewards, and grows stronger.
I know these elements are extremely intuitive and fun, which is why they've been loved by so many people for a long time.
It's kind of like a hearty bowl of soondae-gukbap.
Among the games I played, there were a few genres like that.
Like the darkest dungeon, where you can torture yourself by watching your party members suffer from madness every single day, or a trap that rips the heroine's clothes off when triggered... no, that's not it.
Besides those, there are many works based on dungeons, so most gamers, including me, would be familiar with the concept of a dungeon even if it's fictional.
Anyway.
Whenever I look at a dungeon, I always think.
That is.
'The bosses who made this are fucking pitiful.'
I feel pity for the dungeon operators who get beaten like a neighborhood punching bag.
Literally beaten to a pulp.
They carefully build traps.
Dress the interior to fit the theme.
And probably raise the monsters with the care of their own children.
[Amazing! How on earth did this happen!? 3 minutes 50 seconds, final dungeon speedrun with basic gear!]
[How to beat the Demon King with a water balloon lol]
Just watching them get utterly ravaged by players makes my eyes well up on their own.
Of course.
Games are made for players to clear, so that is only natural.
There are many people in this world with stubborn determination.
Some call them veterans or old hands.
Of course, game companies would simply hope players would follow their designs honestly.
Human beings are incredibly creative, so if they set a goal to beat a boss somehow with a wooden sword, they go through with it.
[You're doing this? That's impossible!]
[But it actually happened!]
When you see how many YouTube videos have titles like that, you realize that, although they're the same species, they're some seriously amazing bastards.
Even final bosses who, in the setting, could threaten all of humanity are reduced to toys to be played with before them.
I looked at the hologram floating before my eyes.
[Dungeon Gallery]
The best booze is enemy blood, drunk while holding back the wave [15]
The traps I worked so hard on... were all broken in a single day, for fuck's sake [55]
Sharing the locations of each race's major strongholds!!!!! [32]
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Title : Super easy tips for acting all tough in front of humans... (long post, beware the wall of text)
Author : Ant Queen
Like there'd be such a thing, lolㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
Someone please tell me!! I lose my mind every time the wave period comes around, fuck
They don't die even when I kill them, and by the next wave there are even more of them. It's fucking disgusting,
isn't there some good way to deal with them? T_T
If you tell me, I'll give you one of the precious little babies I gave birth to for adoption T_T
ㄴKingJjang Evil Spirit : Fuck, take down the gross pic.
ㄴSquint-Eyes Character : Why do your babies get more disgusting by the day?
ㄴDIP : Hmm...
ㄴGolem King : Here we go again.
ㄴI Have No Minions : No trolling.
─────
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Title : Still, humans are better than elves, yeah
Author : The World Is Cold
It's a well-known fact that humans are better than those perverted bastards who spend hundreds of years obsessively trying to clear dungeons until they die of old age... honestly, I don't even know anymore, these elves are way too strong, fuck, when does the position shift even happen???? save me ㅈㅂㄷㄱㅁㄴ에
ㄴDIP : Hmm...
ㄴSealed Philosopher : I don't know. Hang in there, lol.
ㄴKingJjang Evil Spirit : This bastard's still breathing, though. I thought he was dead, lol.
ㄴShibgan Saranggae : Come to think of it, where did The World Is Cold say he fell?
ㄴKingJjang Evil Spirit : Near the World Tree.
ㄴShibgan Saranggae : Ah.
Internet community.
A place where dopamine, chaos, and hatred run rampant.
People call that trash heap a so-called forum.
Inside an unnamed cave.
Faced with a scene reminiscent of a forum, I could only make a dazed expression.
That wasn't all.
[Congratulations on becoming a Dungeon Master!]
[Protect your dungeon from intruders and forge your own myth!]
"What is this."
A welcome message that blocks the community window.
Is this a dream or reality?
No matter how hard I thought about it, I couldn't find an answer.
"……."
Fuck.
There shouldn't be any veterans here, right?
***
So.
To put it simply, I'm an ordinary person.
My job is freelance, and by everyone's reckoning, including my own, I'm living a boring life that will never see any dramatic change ahead.
When I came to, I was suddenly standing in a dark, eerie place.
What the hell do you mean by that?
I don't know either.
I had slept soundly last night, and when I woke up, I was in an unfamiliar cave. My brain had frozen at the absurdity of it, like some guy who'd been kidnapped in a van.
Dungeon Gallery.
And a status window.
"I'm fucking doomed."
The curse that burst out automatically.
It was the first time in my life I'd ever felt this dizzy.
I can say this for certain.
I'm more flustered right now than an elementary school kid who pissed himself on the bus.
Fuck.
What about the rented room I worked so hard to afford, with its 10 million won deposit?
Where is the used sedan I bought cheaply for 5 million won?
Did I get punished for it?
I did curse out a teammate with every foul word I had last night while gaming before bed.
Was that such a death-worthy sin?
Just as I was denying reality like that,
[Warning]
[24 hours remain until the Wave.]
[Caution]
[The current dungeon is an empty space.]
[Prepare in advance a means to stop the enemies that will come crashing in.]
"Wave? Dungeon?"
If you dragged someone to some weird place, at least explain it properly.
Besides, the phenomenon I'm facing right now is incomprehensible enough as it is.
"Even if you tell me to prepare in advance..."
How the hell am I supposed to prepare?
I pinched my cheek.
Since I could feel the pain, it doesn't seem to be a dream.
"This is pissing me off all of a sudden."
What the hell is this bullshit without any warning?
No matter how harsh society is, if you have an urgent request or business, isn't it only decent to at least give someone time to prepare?
After kidnapping me into a cave like this.
Guard the dungeon??
Prepare the means to do so in advance??
Yeah, thanks a lot.
Even the woman who nearly rammed my car on the highway would be more considerate than this.
"Fuck."
The problem is that I get hot-headed too quickly.
If I have one strength, it's that I can calm my emotions down quickly.
Anyway.
What good would lashing out at that hologram do?
It wouldn't change the situation I'm in now.
"Haa."
Drip-drip-
The echo of groundwater dripping from the stalactites overlaps with my sigh.
What's the most important thing in living in this world?
This is my own philosophy.
It's problem-solving ability.
I have a saying I like best.
Even if you're dragged into a tiger's den, if you keep your wits about you, you can survive.
Even if a natural disaster strikes and all your property, including your house and car, vanishes without a trace, you don't despair. Instead, you realize you signed up for fire and flood insurance, and hurry to file a complaint with the local government demanding your money back.
If you aren't insured, what can't you do as long as you have the determination to turn on the recording button and upload a video titled [There was a house, and now there isn't.] to the site, aiming for 100,000 subscribers?
A crisis is an opportunity.
I really like that saying.
No matter how much you whine, cry, rage, or lament, nothing changes.
"First."
I stared at the gallery for a long while.
Is this really a forum where people communicate?
From my life experience, when I didn't know something, it was better not to try solving it myself and instead ask someone else.
"Can I write a post too?"
So, how should I write a post?
Would people read it even if the title wasn't a clickbait line like '295-Year-Old Necromancer's Final, Full-Force Last Dance'?
[You must register as a user to write a post.]
[Would you like to register as a user?]
Huh?
Okay.
[Please set a nickname.]
A nickname, huh.
I do have a nickname I often use whenever I sign up for a site, but...
[Newbie]
Maybe I'll just use this one.
Anyway, the name isn't all that important.
[User registration is complete.]
[Enjoy your time.]
Enjoy my time, my ass.
It's not like I made this to casually browse the gallery.
I'm only looking for a way to break this situation.
I was about to upload a post.
While I was carefully preparing a 5,700-character body.
A newly appearing notification window suddenly covered the post I was writing.
"What kind of gallery has a new-user notification pop up?"
I tried to close the notification window, but ended up deleting the post by mistake.
"Ah, fuck."
Damn it, now I have to write it all over again from the beginning.
I let out a sigh and went back into the gallery once more.
Well, I remember the contents, so I'll be able to write it faster than before.
Just as I was about to press the write button.
The posts in the gallery began regenerating rapidly.
To the point that it felt excessive.
When I sensed something was odd and looked over the posts,
What is this new-user alert...? [15]
More trolling trolling trolling trolling trolling trolling trolling trolling [7]
Fuck, did the gallery get hacked?? [25]
Did some of you guys go blind?? A newbie just came into Dungeon Gallery?? [54]
What.
Why is it suddenly like this?
I clicked the post with the most replies.
If I looked over the many comments below it,
ㄴGolem King : I just saw it too. Did you guys see it too?
ㄴSealed Philosopher : Is this the mod trolling?????
ㄴKongKong : This alert window is something I've never seen, even if you say it's the usual WWE.
ㄴDIP : Hmm...
ㄴKingJjang Evil Spirit : A legendary incident just happened, lol.
ㄴSealed Conqueror : Is this a super-fun prank lovingly prepared for us by the mod?
ㄴThe World Is Cold : Mod, make an announcement already.
ㄴAnt Queen : Seriously, make the announcement before I fuck you up, damn it.
ㄴShibgan Saranggae : Hahahahaha what the hell is going on
ㄴKing Slayer : Wasn't it said that no new Dungeon Masters would appear after the mod's generation??
ㄴAnonymous Butcher : The mod himself said it. The others verified it too, and said that was absolutely right.
ㄴI Don't Have Any Minions : Newbie, are you reading this...
ㄴSquint-Eyes Character : What the hell are you, really, bastard??
ㄴMagic Hero : H-ho-ho, could you maybe leave just one comment...
ㄴOrange★ : What?
Internet community.
A place where dopamine, chaos, and hatred run rampant.
People call that trash heap a so-called forum.
The reaction to me was extremely explosive.