Chapter 31
Newbie : Guys, what should I do if the South Kingdom army suddenly invades... ㅠㅠ
ㄴHuman Scum Lover : Newbie-yam! Did you have a nightmare or something? ㅠㅠ
ㄴNo Subordinates for Me : Dude, we don't even sleep...
ㄴPlatoon Head : What on earth is that bizarre, monstrous idea...
ㄴMagic Hero : Geographically, I can't say it's completely, absolutely far away, but it's not close either, so the chances are pretty slim... The Life Forest is Branded Elf territory to begin with, so why would the South Kingdom ever come here...?
ㄴMagic Hero : Unless the Branded Elves start sending out a help call like, 'W-w-we branded elves repent for everything we've done so far and will go to prison or get executed, so please help us wreck Dreamland ㅠㅠㅠㅠ,' or something...
ㄴNewbie : No, the reason I'm saying this is that I met the human I saved last time in the Life Forest... He said the Kingdom might send troops to wipe out the Branded Elves... and in the process my dungeon could get exposed, you know ㅠㅠ
ㄴNewbie : What if soldiers just march into the dungeon...
ㄴAnt Queen : Isn't that just a double XP event for you, Newbie-nim??
ㄴTV Head : Seriously lolㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
ㄴPlatoon Head : That's exactly the right answer lolㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
ㄴGolem King : I think they'd have a hundred die in the elevator, call it quits, and leave.
ㄴDIP : Of course, human scum are scary when they band together, but in extreme situations they can be even crueler than the Branded Elves, lol. They're likely to backstab each other, turn it into a death game, and destroy themselves.
ㄴOrange★ : It's not something to take that lightly. If, by any chance, the Kingdom has a Blessed One, information about Newbie's dungeon will spread to them in an instant...
ㄴSkeleton Bones : For the record, we assume the Blessed Ones have a community like we do, so if one person gets caught, it'll spread to everyone, yeah.
ㄴAnt Queen : But then again, that could actually be good. Newbie-nim could level up like crazy, literally, yeah.
ㄴAnt Queen : The reward multiplier they get is different from ours to begin with, and maybe even Blessed Ones would die three times in the elevator??
ㄴAnt Queen : When we stopped the Julius Wave last time, it was judged to be madness, right? If so, maybe you could even unlock a new difficulty, yeah.
.
.
.
.
.
I'll be honest.
I was putting on an act in front of Restia.
Having the Kingdom of Humans as an enemy is scary.
Waaah. I'm a baby newbie.
It's not even been a year since I became a dungeon master yet.
Yeah.
Well, the Kingdom can do that.
After all, dungeons have a personnel limit, so they can't come in as an army.
If I just hold out until the location-shift cycle, my victory would be assured.
But.
Blessed Ones are different.
The creatures called Blessed Ones, in my head, are no different from insane veteran players who clear dungeons wearing nothing but a single pair of underwear.
Someday, we'll meet.
Once you're running a dungeon, of course you'll meet them eventually.
For now, they were the last people I wanted to meet.
No matter how hard a game is, if the player's coins are infinite, it'll eventually get cleared.
Of course, the more Blessed Ones die, the game's difficulty will rise...
Anyway.
At the very least, I hope I've hit level 320 before I meet them!
Brothers, I've realized a truth...
What??
It seems like this world is full of nothing but crazy dungeon-rapist bastards...
Feels like it?
For the people in this world, a dungeon is...
Isn't it a place that feels sexy, like an enemy character with 1 HP left shaking its ass in front of the tower?
You only figured that out now?? But that expression is fucking hilarious lolㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
Keep your dungeon booty safe... or else some golden-tan bastard will NTR your mana stones, yeah...
I'm the Newbie rapist-yam!
Hieeeek
Fortunately, the thing I was worried about didn't happen.
Did Restia somehow talk them down?
Even though about two months had passed since the Julius Wave, no intruders came in.
Well, I don't know whether there'll be another chance to meet later.
The fact that Restia even came all the way to the Life Forest last time, risking danger, was something else.
If I meet Restia again, I should at least repay the favor.
Awkward-sauce, hehe...
I'll correct that person from human scum to Light Human, hehe;;;
But the more I think about it, the angrier I get.
Why does she keep flirting with our Newbie??
That fox bitch at least knows Newbie's got charm... If only I could get out of the dungeon, I'd have seduced him long ago, seriously, I'm so frustrated and angry I can't even sleep at night and feel like I'm going crazy.
Love, we don't even sleep...
Love... you're the only one for me...
Newbie-yam... is that really true...?
That's what I was about to say...
I'll die.
You said you weren't a menhera.
Anyway, my daily life was simple.
Browsing the gallery and playing with Malrang.
Ack.
And then.
Whirr….
Hello….
Whenever I dragged Boongboong to the entrance to head out.
My days of bowing and greeting Mr. Igon kept repeating themselves.
For the record, Mr. Igon is the nickname I gave the otherworld insect.
Maybe it's because I have mental immunity, but the more I look at it, the cuter it gets.
Its face is a little scary, but its body looks just like a human's. Mm-hmm.
It's gentle and polite when greeting people, what should I say, it's completely different from when it deals with intruders.
This is what they call gap moe, right?
The bizarre phenomena were, basically, really kind to me.
The doppelgangers and statues have activation tags, so they sleep most of the time, but even if a wave starts, they probably won't do me any harm.
It's like the rules they have don't apply to me.
There was definitely a clear difference from the other minions, who would stage a revolution if they didn't like something.
No way.
Surely they won't get jealous later from always seeing me sleep and play with Malrang, right?
.
.
.
Around the time I was spending those boring, peaceful days.
"Oh... an intruder."
A human figure had been spotted for the first time in a while.
For a moment I flinched, thinking it might be a South Kingdom soldier, but the clothing was nowhere near fit for battle.
He was alone.
He wasn't a mage who could use detection magic.
He loitered around near the entrance, then fled outside before ten minutes had even passed.
What the hell was that bastard?
I uploaded a video of him wandering around to the gallery.
ㄴHuman Scum Lover : A West Kingdom guy... judging by his clothes and the things he brought, he looks like a black-market dealer who trades with the Branded Elves???
ㄴNo Subordinates for Me : Wow, what are you, seriously?? How did you know he was from the West Kingdom too??
ㄴHuman Scum Lover : If you zoom in on the video, you can see a dagger through the gap in his backpack—check the engraving on it.
ㄴGolem King : As expected, your observation skills are fucking god-tier lolㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
ㄴDIP : What the hell lolㅅㅂ, are you a detective???
ㄴNewbie : Love Holmes, damnㄷㄷㄷㄷㄷ
ㄴHuman Scum Lover : I'm the phantom thief who steals Newbie's heart.
A black-market dealer trading with the Branded Elves, huh.
"He doesn't look like he's running away."
It's completely different from Restia's case.
You can spot a hostile intruder at a glance.
I guess that's the observational skill I've built up from going through the previous waves.
That bastard was 100% a dungeon rapist.
"He'll probably come in later with his friends, right?"
After knife-ears comes human scum.
As a fellow human scumbag, don't expect mercy from me.
Because I'm a dungeon master who is merciless to enemies.
I still have 250,000 points on hand.
I should think a little more about whether to use this.
***
West Kingdom.
In the Jericho Barony lives a certain debauched lord.
His name is Yuben Jericho.
He is a man in his mid-thirties.
At first, he was praised far and wide for being intelligent and wise.
But after getting drunk on the sweetness of money and power, he passionately claimed to have realized how meaningless life is, and now he lives addicted to alcohol and women.
And just how bad was it?
His wife and children—whom he loved and who loved him back—had all abandoned him and left the territory, making him utterly hopeless; Yuben was the biggest wastrel in the West Kingdom.
"My lord!! I've brought tremendous information!!"
Yuben stared at the black-market dealer with a bored expression.
Tremendous information?
Was this guy, whom he only ever used when buying cheap luxury goods, making such a fuss because he had brought some great information?
"Go on."
Yuben's lifeless eyes settled on the black-market dealer.
"Ahem, yes."
The black-market dealer took a deep breath and continued.
"We found a newly spawned dungeon."
Newly spawned dungeon.
A place where the treasure called mana stones lies dormant.
At that news, Yuben's dead eyes briefly came alive.
"Details."
"Yes..."
It had been a long time.
A lord interested in nothing but alcohol and women.
To the black-market dealer, that sight felt very unfamiliar.
***
This is an old post
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Title : I get why everyone keeps calling them human scum, yeah
Author : Yongyonggari
These fucking human-scum bastards are truly worse than I imagined.
Of course, elves aren't pushovers either, but honestly, I think humans are the peak of this bullshit.
Why?
Because if these goddamn human-scum bastards can't do it themselves, they go out and call in their friends, lol.
Those friends fail? Then those friends go out and call in more friends, lol.
It's not like I'm welcoming some fucking menhera yandere heroine or anything.
Last time the location shifted, I was seriously shocked when they still came all the way to the dungeon and waved at me.
The level of their persistence is fucking insane.
At least the elf bastards clap and see you off when you leave their territory, you know?
These hateful human scum grab you by the hair and drag you back, going, 'Don't go, baby, where are you going? You have to give me mana stones ㅠㅠ,' and stuff.
If I could really get out of the dungeon, I'd have wiped these bastards out first, yeah.
And why the hell do these fucking bastards use magic like elves and dwarves, but have such a huge population???
Hey!!! If they're going to have that many people, shouldn't they at least be unable to use magic and aura???
And even with such short lifespans, they still have mages and swordsmen stronger than elves, lol.
They've got the population, they use magic, and if they train up to use aura they can even slice through trolls, and on top of that they're smart as hell, damn.
At this point, aren't goblins just being told to go commit suicide?? Why the hell do these bastards even exist in this world?? lolㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
God must love humans like crazy; they're just an absurd self-insert race, damn.
They're really on another level, another level. I, Yongyonggari, admit it.
Fuck, you bastard Oblivion!!! Please speed up the location-shift cycle!!!
*Comments
KingJjang Evil Spirit : Want me to tell you one truly chilling fact?
KingJjang Evil Spirit : Getting caught by human scum gives you a headache, but among them there are especially dangerous human scum you need to watch out for...
KingJjang Evil Spirit : Those are the king and the lords, lol. Honestly, I find those bastards scarier than archmages or swordmasters... Like some kind of necromancer, they lead human scum around and shove them into the dungeon in droves every time a wave starts, damn.
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