Winner

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LV. 124

Class - Dungeon Master

Dungeon Theme – Anomaly

Population – 14/60

Device count: - 9/60

Point - 330000

STR - 134

DEX - 134

CON - 134

MP – 134

UN - Newbie

UC - dm_6_666666666

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Ta-da.

These are the rewards I got from this expedition.

Huh?

Aren't expedition rewards supposed to be stingy?

Why did I get so many rewards?

Well.

The World Is Cold : Newbie, did the rewards come through?

ㄴNewbie : Yep, feeling good

Intruders showed up in Secha-ham's dungeon too.

A bunch of stupid goblins and trolls came in.

Looks like they're living the happy Lowjinrat life.

Anyway.

Because I was running a two-dungeon setup like that—Noona plus Secha-ham.

Even though it wasn't the main dungeon wave, the EXP and points were pretty sweet.

Even Kongkong noona's dungeon is basically a happy Etdun dungeon, after all.

There'll be way more intruders than in Secha-ham's place.

The rewards I get later on are probably going to be pretty substantial too.

Oh, and.

I found something a little interesting.

ㄴThe World Is Cold : You see this?

ㄴThe World Is Cold : I definitely wasn't messing around;;

ㄴThe World Is Cold : I checked today and it had turned into this;;

You know that crying statue I installed in Secha-ham's dungeon?

At some point, its face stopped being human and became a dinosaur.

So instead of a crying man statue,

I should probably call it a crying lizardman statue.

I opened the system window and looked at the minion list.

【Crying Man Statue(★3)】

There wasn't really any change.

Weird.

Is it getting influenced by the dungeon little by little?

The effect doesn't seem to change much, though.

ㄴNewbie : Please keep raising it beautifully ㅎㅎ

ㄴThe World Is Cold : ㅇㅋㅇㅋ

Maybe even in Kongkong noona's dungeon.

The reason Red Mask felt a little different from the original I had in mind

might be because of the influence of the related theme.

"Asseye."

"Ker ak?"

I called over the goblin playing around with Malang at the entrance.

The goblin came running over in a flurry.

A fine goblin I had already used twice to kick things off.

What should I give this little guy?

"I do have some decent swords I got from the knights who came in last time, but he'd have trouble swinging those, so that's a no... just wait a sec."

I headed alone to the core room.

I rummaged through the junk I had stashed away.

This should be fine, right?

A dagger the knights use as a secondary weapon.

I gave him some accessories again as a gift.

"Good work handling the anomaly, Asseye. This is your reward for your labor."

"Ker ak!"

"And showing off is fine, but only to your friends. You'll just get noticed by dwarves outside for no reason."

"Ke, keruk..."

I pointed at the goblin's gold necklace.

The goblin scratched his bald head.

"Anyway, thanks."

"Keruk."

I held out my fist,

and the goblin just stared blankly at it.

When Malang couldn't stand it anymore and demonstrated with its own body,

only then did the goblin bump fists with it.

"I'll send you back now."

"Keruk."

I set the minion settings once more,

sent the little guy outside, then turned the minion settings off.

"That wraps up the incident... well, not quite."

Kongkong noona says she has something to give me.

Once I got this, it was really over.

.

.

.

.

.

"Newbie. Long time no see!"

"Didn't we just keep talking in the gallery a moment ago?"

"W-well, yeah... Ugh, do you have to nitpick everything?"

"I'm joking. Joking."

This wave really was pretty long.

It felt like it took well over a month.

Anyway.

The troublesome Marquis Davirus was gone.

"It doesn't look like he's coming back in, does it?"

"They really did have an emotional breakup, so yeah, I guess not?"

We shrugged.

Jiggle-jiggle.

That was just a bonus.

If her chest was that huge, it'd wobble every time she moved.

Her traps and shoulders must be pretty developed.

"...Why do you keep looking over there?"

"At noona's chest."

Noona pinched both of my cheeks.

"I'll just! Just you wait! That's it!"

"Agh...!"

It felt like the same situation I'd gone through before.

Once again, my cheeks physically turned red.

"Waaah. That's unfair. I can look a little, can't I? I'm not looking with any lewd intent; I'm just looking because it's interesting from an ergonomic standpoint..."

"Newbie, how about we try being a little more delicate?"

Noona clenched her fist.

I should stop acting up.

"Anyway, thanks to you, I survived. I'm really grateful."

"I'm really glad noona stayed pure."

"I-I don't know if that's something you should be happy about..."

Right now, I was a unicorn.

Because she had stayed pure and not fallen.

Of course that was a happy thing.

Though there might come a day when I have to brace myself for that sort of thing.

At least it wasn't now.

"Forcing yourself to do something you hate is sad. So this is a happy thing."

Because noona was my friend too.

Even among the few dungeon masters out there, we should at least wish each other happiness.

"Heheh."

Noona giggled.

"You probably would have been insanely popular before you became a dungeon master."

"Unfortunately, I wasn't."

"Honestly, after what you just said to me, I can believe it."

How sad.

I'm just an honest guy who can't resist a joke.

"Ahem. Anyway, Secha-nim gave me something called a Drake Heart too... so I should pay him back."

"Ohhh."

"D-don't get your hopes up too much, we don't have anything that productive in our dungeon... I'll ask anyway, but do you need something like a potion that temporarily turns you into a woman, or an aphrodisiac...?"

Nope.

"Then how about something that cranks sensitivity up dozens of times, or various devices..."

Nope.

"Ah, I know! D-don't look at me like that... I was just asking out of courtesy!"

"I see."

I almost misunderstood it as, 'What on earth does this noona think this newbie is?"

I guess she was just asking because those were probably the highest-grade things she could give.

"You're really not interested in a potion that temporarily turns you into a woman? I-I thought something like that might be a little interesting for most people..."

Ah.

"Noona, I have a favor to ask. Could you please give that to Secha-ham?"

"Huh? Why Secha-nim all of a sudden?"

"To beat Oblivion."

Watch this.

Oblivion.

I'm going to feed this potion to Secha-ham,

and claim victory over you.

"I don't know what you're talking about... but I'll give it to you for now, so take it and deliver it yourself."

"Thank you, noona."

Noona even packed ten potions for me.

It's not like some gift Bacchus box or anything.

She really didn't need to give me this many.

But it would've been awkward to refuse.

"And next are the things we've looted from the intruders so far... I'm not sure whether there's anything useful for you in here either."

I followed Kongkong noona to the warehouse located beneath Zone 7.

At that moment, I had no choice but to gape.

Isn't this a scrapyard rather than a warehouse?

From armor to weapons and assorted odds and ends, it looked more like a mountain.

"I-it's a little dirty... no, I definitely told them to clean this up, dammit... n-now hold on!"

Kongkong noona was frantically tidying the warehouse

when, apparently getting insanely pissed off, she stopped cleaning and went back up to the surface.

Judging from the scolding sounds coming from upstairs,

the tentacles must have ditched their cleaning duty.

"Ack."

"You can't eat it yet, Malang."

I gave Malang a gentle pat-pat-pat.

A little later, they came in limp and listless.

The tentacles slowly crawled over and began organizing the items.

"S-sorry for keeping you waiting so long... I should've checked on it properly..."

"While you're cleaning, at least give me a lap pillow."

"A-ah, ahhh... right. I should do that too."

Noona spread a carpet on the floor.

Then she sat down lightly on it and tapped her lap as if to say, come here.

"Come here."

This newbie.

To be honest, until just a moment ago, I had been imagining something like that.

Kongkong noona.

Wasn't she actually a man pretending to be a woman after drinking a TS potion?

Honestly, I thought that was a reasonable suspicion.

After witnessing the possibility called 'The World Is Cold.'

I had to doubt everything.

But then I realized it right away.

This thing really had a feminine aura unlike anything else.

If there were some kind of combat-power-like stat called 'femininity.'

Assuming 100 was the max, Kongkong noona was about 99 out of 100.

"Haaah."

Oblivion.

Just this once.

This once, I will set aside my hostility toward you.

.

.

.

.

.

The lap pillow lasted for about an hour.

Fuck.

I'm happy.

I'm a man too, after all.

But that overwhelming sight of those two huge masses blocking half my vision.

That was truly a spectacle.

Not that it meant I could die here, of course.

Anyway, I felt like I was glad I had been born.

"Noona, but you're really a woman, right?"

"...Then do I look like a man to you?"

"You didn't drink the potion, did you?"

"Shit... Newbie."

I got punched.

That really hurt like hell.

For the record, according to Kongkong noona, the TS potion lasts one hour.

If I didn't believe her, she said I should try drinking it myself.

No, I know I shouldn't be saying this either.

This is all Secha-ham's fault.

"I was happy."

"R-right?"

"I really was happy..."

"I didn't expect you to be that happy, hehe."

"Huuuu."

"Next time too... um, i-if there's a chance, I'll do it again...?"

Yay.

I'm excited.

Now it was time to head home.

It was the same with Secha-ham and with Kongkong noona.

When the moment of parting arrives,

I somehow end up feeling really reluctant to leave.

"You're leaving?"

"I have to."

"What a shame..."

We waved our hands.

Still.

We have the gallery.

And.

There's always next time.

This isn't a forever goodbye.

This is a promise to meet again.

So.

There was no need to feel too sad.

"Goodbye, Newbie."

"See you later, Kongkong."

We waved our hands.

.

.

.

.

.

Shibgan Love Dog : I called dibs first

Shibgan Love Dog : I called dibs on Newbie first

Shibgan Love Dog : Don't you dare outbid me ㅡㅡ

ㄴKongKong : I never tried to outbid you

ㄴKongKong : It'd be nice if we could just share and use him together ㅎㅎ;;

ㄴThe World Is Cold : Newbie is public property

ㄴThe World Is Cold : Newbie belongs to nature

ㄴThe World Is Cold : He was never yours to begin with

ㄴThe World Is Cold : Why are you so obsessed with him?

ㄴCowhead : Yeah

ㄴCowhead : Why would Newbie be yours?

ㄴCowhead : He isn't Kongkong's, and he isn't Secha's either

ㄴCowhead : It's this Squad-Head-sama's, yeah ㅇㅇ

ㄴAnt Queen : Sarang-nim,

ㄴAnt Queen : I met Newbie before you did,

ㄴAnt Queen : so I'll make sure he offs himself for you ㅋㅎ

ㄴGolem King : Maybe Newbie was

ㄴGolem King : a man who might become a steampunk-themed dungeon master...

ㄴGolem King : So he's mine ㅇㅇ

ㄴDIP : Don't get it twisted ㄴㄴ Based on my deduction, Newbie

ㄴDIP : likes Sans and dragons more than girls

ㄴDIP : Come, into this undead's embrace.

ㄴWhaleWhaleYeah : ㄴㄴ He said he'd come to my place to see the whale

ㄴWhaleWhaleYeah : For the record, my dungeon is the prettiest

ㄴI Have No Minions : Tsk, hahaha

ㄴI Have No Minions : The gallery's a mess again...

ㄴOrange★ : Hahahahahahaha

ㄴOrange★ : What a shitshow.

ㄴPsych Ward Chief Patient : Chief mod, kick everyone out

ㄴPsych Ward Chief Patient : and should we have a quiet little chat with Newbie among ourselves~?

ㄴOrange★ : Want me to start with you?

ㄴPsych Ward Chief Patient : My bad

ㄴShibgan Love Dog : Yeah, go ahead

ㄴShibgan Love Dog : Keep trying to steal Newbie's heart ㅇㅇ

ㄴShibgan Love Dog : If he won't come to me, I'll just kill myself, that's all ㅇㅇ

.

.

.

.

.

After coming back from Kongkong's dungeon, Sarang's viciousness increased slightly.

And these people are getting more and more over-the-top by the day.

"Ack."

"Malang, what is it?"

Malang climbed onto my lap.

It looked like it wanted something.

It couldn't be hungry after stuffing itself in noona's dungeon.

So this was it?

I gave it a loving scritch-scritch-scritch.

"Mwoot."

Then.

Malang looked oddly pleased today.