Chapter 12 - I Want to Give Up

There are always signs when a country is about to fall.

Sometimes these signs are so obscure that no one notices as they slowly eat away at the country.

Other times, they're easy to recognize but discovered too late, leading the country to ruin in an instant before anyone can do anything, even when everyone finally notices.

This case was clearly the latter.

The same words that Karin had spoken earlier now tumbled from the lips of the old, weary king.

If this wasn't a sign of a country's downfall, what else could be?

"...How do you intend to cover this up? And what then? You can't possibly keep it hidden forever, can you?"

Instead of grabbing the king by the collar and shaking him, asking if he was in his right mind, I inquired if he had any plans.

I clung to a nonexistent hope, wishing that somehow, he had some brilliant strategy in his head to overcome this crisis.

To be honest, I was tired too.

It was frustrating enough to have wasted three years, but to return home only to find this Hero Coin nonsense as the result?

"...Please, tell me you have some idea."

Despite my plea, the king and chancellor seemed to have no thoughts beyond avoiding the immediate crisis, as they held their tongues.

Seeing these highest authorities of the country averting their gaze and keeping their mouths shut, my lifetime of patriotism evaporated in an instant.

Finally, as if feeling guilty, King Germis began to lay out a plan that might have worked four months ago.

"...As time passes, the Demon King's army, having lost their focal point in the Demon King, will fall into internal strife as they return home, each trying to become the new Demon King. We'll seize that opportunity to—"

"Oh, please..."

That will absolutely never happen.

The demon race doesn't even consider the Demon King as their focal point; they're just fighting out of spite now.

Moreover, though Bella denied it, from what I could see, not just the lesser races but even powerful demon races like the Demons seemed to covet the human realm.

While the land might lack mana, there are no abnormal climate conditions, and the endlessly fertile lands of the human realm are certainly a better place to live than the demon realm.

And in truth, it's not that the Demons don't want land. It's just that no one wants them to have it.

"...I'm not convinced they'll fall into internal strife just because the Demon King is dead. We should tell the truth now, rather than later."

Strictly speaking, it's not even fraud, is it?

We didn't break our promise; unfortunately, the Hero died, making it impossible for us to keep it.

This might cut off support from various countries, but it shouldn't be enough reason for them to ignore the Demon King's army in the rear and attack us.

They didn't have the capacity for that, and I thought they had no justification either, but the king and chancellor seemed to think differently.

"You don't know how much money the nobles spent to buy these coins. Even your parents, the amount they spent..."

"...My parents?"

"Count, please don't take this as a threat. Your father and mother borrowed quite a lot of money to buy those damned coins."

Hearing that they even pawned my research materials and personal belongings when that wasn't enough, I felt my vision darken.

Before leaving for the demon realm, I had entrusted all my research materials to a safe, imploring my parents:

These materials represent my entire youth, so they must never be lost or damaged.

Thinking about it now, they weren't really that valuable, just time-consuming to create.

But to me, they were proof of my devoted youth and fragments of a dream I someday wanted to achieve.

And they sold them without even consulting me?

I could forgive them if they were simply lost.

Even if they sold them due to financial difficulties, I could understand after some time had passed.

But to sell them for Hero Coins?

For me, with my narrow-mindedness, it was impossible to accept that they sold them to buy coins engraved with the face of the person I despised most in the world.

"......"

"...Are you alright?"

I wonder what expression I'm making right now.

Clear fear was etched on the faces of the chancellor and king as they voiced their concern.

Feeling like I might start shouting if I opened my mouth, I kept it tightly shut and tried to collect myself.

It's unlikely, but if the chancellor had read my psychology and said those things, I felt like praising him for being so perceptive.

"Anyway, not just your parents, but how many nobles do you think will go bankrupt if this gets out?"

"...I suppose so."

"We need to give them time to prepare too, right? That's why I'm saying we should delay the announcement just a little."

Even with time to prepare, there are only so many places to sell the coins, which would only result in further angering the monarchs of various countries.

But it seems the king and chancellor feared the nobles right beside them more than the royalty far away.

Then again, if this fact became known, a rebellion was as certain as the sun rising.

Perhaps whether we reveal the truth or not, the kingdom's future won't change.

Too much has happened, and the kingdom has come too far to salvage the situation.

If that's the case, wouldn't it be better for everyone if we revealed the truth now, prepared for Bel Zuma, and at least minimized the damage to other countries?

Just as I was thinking this and about to speak—

Suddenly, the world stopped.

Everything was shrouded in darkness, and memories that shouldn't exist in my mind unfolded before my eyes.

****

Rising to an altitude where even the clouds are beneath your feet, looking down at the ground below gives you a feeling of godhood.

Intoxicated by this sense of omnipotence, as if the whole world lay at my feet, I gazed down at the earth.

The capital, engulfed in flames.

A land of death where everything looked as if trampled by a giant's foot, with blood and screams everywhere.

All of this was done by my own hands.

Excuses like I never intended this, or that I did it to protect myself, are meaningless.

I knew better than anyone that engaging in battle would lead to this.

This was my choice.

It was something I, who valued my own life more than others', did of my own will.

It was a mistake to believe the king and chancellor's words.

Despite their persistent persuasion, I had declared that I would report what happened at the Demon King's castle.

Perhaps resigned to this, the king and chancellor said that if that was the case, they would join me, and asked for some time.

Honestly, it wasn't very credible.

Their quick resignation was suspiciously odd, but I had no other options.

While I held the title of count and was the magician of the Hero's party, those were just empty titles.

I had no connections to convey this news to the kings of various countries, nor was my reputation high enough to be trusted by them.

I had power, but if I forced my way through with that power, I risked being seen as a demon.

Even I would think it as a high-ranking demon's deception if some magician knocked out all the royal guards and reported what happened at the Demon King's castle.

With no choice, I trusted them and waited.

And a few weeks later, the kingdom's allies guarding five different fronts, Lord Leius...

And tens of thousands of soldiers came at me from all directions, raising spears and swords to subjugate me.

At first, I focused on defense while trying to persuade them.

But there was a limit to how long I could hold off corps commander-level powerhouses and tens of thousands of soldiers.

Eventually, I showed hostility towards them.

When the magic I had honed in the demon realm exploded before their eyes, the scene that unfolded...

I don't want to recall it.

Even without recalling it specifically, looking down at the ground told me what had happened.

Today, a city of eight million people turned to ashes, and countless sparks of life were erased by a larger flame.

All of this was the work of a single magician.

*****

My vision shifted from the high skies back to the royal castle, and the stopped time began to move again.

It was a truly bizarre experience, but there was no question about what it was.

There was no magical interference in that vision just now, and only beings called gods are capable of such things.

This must be Bel Zuma's reward.

She probably showed me a vision of the future, of what would happen if I made the wrong choice here.

It could be suspected as the evil god's machination, but strangely, I didn't think so.

That god is pure, in both good and bad senses.

She's not malicious enough to show false memories while claiming to give a reward.

"Count. What's wrong?"

"...It's nothing."

So if I tell everyone here, in a few weeks, the kingdom's renowned powerhouses and tens of thousands of troops will come to subjugate me?

By the way, to win against all those enemies...

My experiences in the demon realm seem to have made me a more powerful magician than I thought.

It's my own doing, but honestly, I'm a bit surprised.

"You said you needed more time, right?"

"...Y-Yes, that's right."

"Then I'll go along with that. But promise me one thing. The moment this comes to light, I knew nothing about it. Is that acceptable?"

Perhaps they had been hoping I'd take their side, as they nodded with slightly disappointed expressions.

Honestly, I don't think they won't drag me into it when things actually happen, even if I make such a promise.

So I need to prepare too.

I needed to somehow prove that I had no connection to them, at the very least.

"By the way, Your Majesty. What about the territory and title I was supposed to receive after defeating the Demon King? And the treatment of the Hero and his lovers..."

To cover this up, the Demon King's subjugation must not have been completed yet, so there's a need to hide my existence.

Of course, this applies not just to me but also to Kim Yeomjin and his lovers, making it quite a headache.

While Meria, being a relative of the royal family, might be manageable, the Holy Saint and Karin, daughter of the Margrave, would be difficult to handle.

As we took a breather, the king and chancellor, seemingly just realizing this, fell into deep contemplation.

"We can explain the situation to Meria's father, but the others are a problem."

"Let's keep them at the villa, pretending they haven't returned yet. Karin might resist, but the Holy Saint probably won't rebel or anything."

"Hmm?"

"She's been afraid of meeting His Holiness because of the truth about the goddess. She might even be secretly glad to be confined."

"I see... That's somewhat fortunate."

"And about my territory..."

"Ahem..."

As we got to the truly difficult problem to handle, the two of them cleared their throats and averted their gazes.

This was certainly a tricky issue.

There's no suitable land for a count's territory, and even if there were, they couldn't grant land in my name.

"Give me the El Berg Mountains."

"...What?"

"The El Berg Mountain range."

The El Berg Mountains were the largest mountain range in the interior of the Nephia Kingdom and the greatest gateway blocking the Eles Kingdom and Coltz Duchy.

This land, teeming with powerful magical beasts, was a natural fortress that didn't require separate troops. Not once had an enemy ever crossed these mountains.

Of course, since no one knows when powerful magical beasts might come down from the mountains, it's the worst land with almost no population and underdeveloped commerce.

This land, under direct royal control, was simultaneously the kingdom's most valuable land for blocking enemy invasions and the most worthless land with no use at all.

"...Why do you want such a place?"

"It might be useless to you, but it's useful to me. That's all. Or do you have any other land you can give me?"

"......"

With few people and infrequent traffic, there's no better place to hole up than this land.

The king and chancellor seemed reluctant, finding this all too convenient story somewhat suspicious.

However, when I asked if they could give me other land instead, they couldn't, so they had no choice but to grant me the El Berg Mountains.

*I don't know what will happen from now on, but I'm tired now.*

I want to rest comfortably.

I want to live peacefully.

I want to live for myself.

Is it selfish of me to think this way?

Either way, it doesn't matter.

It's just that I wasn't the good person Bel Zuma thought I was.

From now on, I'll live for myself.

I made that vow deep in my heart.