Chapter 66
Consequently.
My imprisonment didn't last very long.
Because the person who reported me came to hear the news and got me out.
“How have you been, Goddess?”
“Not well.”
“Uh, um… I just asked the admin about it.”
That's what reporting someone is, isn't it?
If I called 112 right now and asked them to take a report because anonymous people were cursing at me, they'd accept the case too.
-??
-?
-No, what the fuckㅋㅋㅋ
-Please save us, sir
That's what I was saying, obviously.
Anyway, I paid back the money right away.
“My luxury goods….”
“Come to think of it, you're not penniless either?”
Because, as it happened, I'd sold a luxury watch to raise the money.
I would've preferred to use it as collateral and borrow money, but apparently this godforsaken backwater didn't have a bank.
“A bank can't exist until money starts circulating.”
“And a police station can exist in a town with no criminals?”
“Huh?”
The landmine-type junior stared at me.
Her eyes seemed to say, It's right here, though?
-For realㅋㅋㅋ
-The freeloader's right here?
-A VTuber with a criminal recordㅋㅋ
“What's with that impure look in your eyes?”
“Ah, no, it's nothing.”
-What's with that “impure look”ㅋㅋ
-Please maintain your dignity
What dignity was there to maintain when I already had a criminal record?
I don't know anymore. My life is ruined.
“Eek, aren't you taking this a little too far?”
“Buildings collapse because of a tiny initial misalignment, Hero.”
I'd been planning to become the administrator who would lead this town someday, but now I had a criminal record.
It was over. I'd have to look into another career.
“Uh, uh-oh.”
-ㅋㅋㅋㅋ
-Wayo's bullying the juniorㅋㅋ
-Stop teasing her, geez
Well, all right, enough teasing for now.
“What did you do for three days?”
I asked the junior I'd met again after a long time how she'd been.
Maybe because I'd played nothing but Turnabout Trial for three straight days, but it was nice to see that landmine-type junior again.
“Huh? Oh, me! I made some friends.”
“Really?”
-For real??
-Even she made someㅋㅋㅋ
-<<When is this person ever going to make any?
Friends? I made one three days ago too.
She was a little landmine-type, but at this age, juniors were all friends too, more or less.
And setting RP aside, who was younger in the first place?
I wasn't sure about that.
There was a reason people talked about “VTuber years.”
That half the VTubers with babyish voices would have been married mothers with children if this had been twenty years ago
was one of the uncomfortable truths of this world.
Anyway….
“So what are you going to do now?”
As I was buying a block of tofu to celebrate my release, the junior asked me.
“Oh, I've decided what I'm going to do.”
“Oh, really? What?”
“I was originally going to become an upstanding miner again….”
-?
-But?
-What are they planning?;
Well, you see.
Being unjustly thrown in jail once made some kind of divine revelation go Pah! in my head.
This wasn't the time for me to be holding a pickaxe and mining.
How unreasonable a prison that dragged you away by force was.
-? Can't you just not commit a crime?
-Wayo defending criminals' human rightsㅋㅋ
-Tsk tsk, that's what you get for leeching off your junior
And really, did it make sense for there to be only one group enforcing the law in the world?
With the police wielding absolute power unchecked, the citizens needed a sanctuary to stand with them.
“Huh?? What does that mean?”
“I'll be the third force.”
Now was the time for a lawyer for citizens' rights.
The Goddess of Curiosity would now become the Goddess of Law.
**
Being a lawyer wasn't easy.
Setting aside licenses and legal knowledge since this was a game server….
First of all, didn't I need an office?
Still, one fortunate thing was that the goddess was a landlord.
When I'd hit it big before, I'd already built a building. I started by putting up a sign.
[(World's First!!) Wayo Law Office]
The first law office on this server.
-No, they're really doing thisㅋㅋㅋ
-Do you even have a license??
-Do you think a game and this are the same thing?
“This is a game too, isn't it?”
-Oh, is it??
-Maintain your RP;; What are you doing;;
“I'm a goddess, so I'm above the server.”
RP is something only chess pieces need to maintain, right?
I'm a god, so I'm allowed to cross the fourth wall whenever I get bored.
-You're fucking convenientㅋㅋ
-So you're going to be a lawyer??
“We're already open.”
Once the sign was up, that was all there was to it.
I'd already registered it with the admins beforehand, so all that remained was accepting cases.
-But will anyone come??
-Is there anyone who would?;
“Why wouldn't there be?”
For the record, this was a huge server that had invited VTubers indiscriminately, enough to invite even a small-time streamer like me separately.
In other words, there were enough people.
And more importantly.
“Can't you see that?”
Across the office window.
I pointed at the slightly conspicuous blue building.
[Life Police Station]
This was a server where a police station had been built, wasn't it?
There had to be criminals.
And criminals, generally speaking….
“H-hello, I heard there's a lawyer here. Is that right?”
-??
-No, they're really coming
-Right awayㅋㅋ
They were the sort of people who always believed they were being treated unjustly.
*
“What can I do for you?”
My first case had arrived.
“Well, I… I only helped out in the fields for a bit.”
“Yes, yes.”
“Then… while I was away after helping, someone reported me for stealing….”
“You stole from the field.”
“Huh?”
“Huh?”
Why else would someone who helped out in the fields come here? They'd stolen some crops, gotten reported, and come here, obviously.
-ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
-ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
-Good grief, this place is clairvoyant
“I know everything.”
“Uh… no, yes… Anyway, I became a crop thief.”
“Go on.”
“I was dragged to prison right after that, but I heard there was a lawyer on the server?”
“Who told you?”
“Uh… the viewers.”
“I see.”
-ㅋㅋㅋㅋ
-Of course it was the viewers, what else was there to ask??
-The real problem is the cuckoos bb
“So I got temporary leave and came here.”
“If you're on leave, are you currently detained?”
“Yes, they said I'm going back to prison soon.”
The VTuber who said that wore a truly dejected expression.
Good grief, that's what you get for stealing crops.
People ought to work honestly.
“What is your sentence?”
“Mining three obsidian blocks with my bare hands inside.”
“Gasp.”
-Gasp
-What
-No, that's excessive;
For reference, mining obsidian by hand takes about six minutes.
In other words, they had been given the incredibly cruel punishment of punching obsidian bare-handed for eighteen whole minutes.
As if to prove it was punishment for a crop thief.
They'd set out to mangle the poor person's hands.
“That's a complete violation of human rights.”
“I-is it?”
“Let's go.”
This kind of human-rights violation….
As international lawyer Wayo, I couldn't just stand by and watch.
*
“Uh… you're a lawyer?”
“Yes, I'm the lawyer.”
And so I followed my client to the prison.
There, I found the police officer in charge of legal punishment on this server.
She was a female police officer with a somewhat soft voice.
-Oh..
-Noona..
Since this server had so many female VTubers, was the police officer a woman too?
Ah, perhaps she was a server participant too.
Given how quickly my lawyer registration had gone through, it seemed that, true to the Life Server's name, occupational freedom was quite extensive.
“More importantly, I heard my client suffered a truly horrific violation of human rights, so I've come.”
“Huh? A violation of human rights…?”
“You put her in prison without even notifying her first.”
I mean, was it really right to put someone behind bars first and ask questions later?
I knew from experience—I'd just gone through it myself—and it felt pretty strange.
“No, well… that's the law for criminals.”
“Why is this person a criminal?”
“Um… didn't you hear? She stole from a field and ran away.”
“Huh? My client says they were helping with the farm work and only stepped away briefly.”
“What? But I received a report of crop theft.”
“Do you have evidence?”
“Huh?”
“I don't see any CCTV cameras, either.”
-Huh?? Good point?
-For real, there aren't even any CCTV cameras
-Isn't this oppression??
Of course, this was a village where the police station had only just been built.
There was no way there'd be infrastructure like CCTV.
I'd realized that when I'd seen everyone gathered to fish on the first day.
This was a village like the Garden of Eden.
In other words, it still didn't have a proper system in place.
“No, well… that's what the person who reported it said….”
“You said that very well. That's exactly the problem.”
“Huh?”
“Is it okay to just arrest someone and cram them in here based only on a report?”
This thing called procedure matters.
If you're going to put someone in prison, you need to file a case, then arrest the suspect and question them, and so on.
Even real police follow the Miranda rule when arresting someone, so how can you just shove people in here like this?
“And I hear you didn't even tell my client there was a lawyer.”
More importantly, there's an official lawyer on the server, and you didn't even inform them?
What a rotten police officer.
If those cuckoos hadn't told them, my client wouldn't even have known a lawyer existed.
“Ah, no, I didn't know either….”
So doing someone's fieldwork for them and then stepping away was a crime deserving of a beating and arrest.
But grabbing someone and locking them behind bars without any notice was merely an understandable mistake?
“Th-that isn't it….”
“Now that I look at it, my client is the victim here. A victim—a victim sacrificed to an indiscriminate judicial system.”
“I am?”
“Cry.”
“Uh… *sniffle*.”
“Ah, no….”
-ㅋㅋㅋㅋ
-What the fuck are these two doing??
-I feel fucking sorry for the policewoman..
To be honest, I was mostly just arguing my point, but who cared?
I wasn't Attorney Kim, after all. What did I know about the law?
As befitting an RP server, we were just playing roles.
Surely the police officer felt the same way, right?
“Uh, uh… I-is that so?”
…Or not? Well, whatever.
The soft, malleable VTuber couldn't beat a lawyer who'd gotten battle-hardened in actual practice (Turnabout Trial), and
“Right? You do seem to have made a mistake now, don't you?”
“Uh… yes, I suppose I did make a mistake….”
In the end, I even got an apology out of her.
-Wow, they did that like this;;
-Does this person have professional experience??
-Wayo is fucking scary…
…Hmm, I did feel a little sorry.
She seemed innocent, but somehow I'd ended up cornering her.
Good grief, I should at least buy her a donut later.
“Then what about compensation?”
“Y-yes…? Compensation?”
“My client has suffered considerable damages.”
Well, I had to do business properly for now.
“Uh… how much….”
“30,000 gold.”
“Gaaasp….”
Anyway, that's what happened.
I even collected compensation from the sobbing police officer before leaving.
“Ah, but… I stole crops. Is it okay for me to accept money?”
Once we were outside, my first client looked a little bewildered.
Honestly, they needed to watch what they said in front of the police station.
“Huh? You stole crops?”
“What? But earlier….”
“You helped with the farm work and stepped away for a bit, right?”
“Uh… uh, yes! That's right.”
-ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
-No fucking way; this is a lawyer?
-This person should be the one going to prison first..
Well, whatever.
To be fair, the police officer had been coercive too.
I was only responding a little harshly to prevent a bad precedent from being set.
“Anyway, you can go now.”
“Oh… th-thank you!”
Anyway.
Even I had to admit that I'd resolved my first case perfectly.
My experience with Turnabout Trial hadn't gone to waste.
Good grief, should I even prepare for the bar exam?
It felt as if wronged people from all over the world were waiting for me in prison even now.
-For real, but they're pretty good at thisㅇㅇ..
-Defending their own kind, Wayo-hwang bb
-Are you going to keep being a lawyer?
“Yeah, I suppose I should.”
Saying that, I watched my first client head home, hopping along excitedly.
It was already a world populated exclusively by VTubers.
It was only a matter of time before the rumor spread.
**
Who said humans were good by nature?
Was it Xunzi?
No, I think it was Mencius.
Anyway, my apologies to him, but that claim was completely wrong.
People are evil from birth.
Only coercion and punishment can restrain that nature.
“I heard there's a great lawyer here. Is that right?”
Proving that.
From the moment a legal escape route called a lawyer appeared, crime on the server began increasing explosively.
“I committed robbery…..”
“I committed murder….”
“This time, I….”
Honestly, even two bodies wouldn't be enough.
On days when I came back after working a short shift, my mailbox would be packed full.
Where did it all go wrong?
Was it when I handed compensation to the crop thief instead?
No, it was clearly the moment I borrowed money from my junior at the gambling den and ended up imprisoned.
“I accidentally committed arson. Honestly, that bitch started it….”
Look at them even now.
A Satanic demon standing before me, unable to admit their own crime and only trying to reduce the sentence.
How had the town become Sodom and Gomorrah?
As far as I was concerned, I had no choice but to squeeze my eyes shut and make a momentous decision.
“Okay.”
“Huh?”
“We're closing as of today.”
“Whaaaat?”
[Closed]
The moment I made up my mind, I took down the sign.
-ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
-An abandonment ending after allㅋㅋㅋ
-Oh, you worked hard, though~
There was no way I could defend these fallen Satanic demon bastards.
Besides, I'd enjoyed the big server enough.
“I'm leaving.”
I'm off after having had a good time.
I started as a miner, but my ending was grand, so I was satisfied enough.
“Ah, no, where are you going!”
And so.
Wayo's law office closed its doors after just five days.