Chapter 20
‘Even though I come here often, I still can't get used to all these people…’
Myeongjeon let out an inward sigh. This place was crowded enough as it was, but carrying a guitar seemed to make them jostle against even more people. For some reason, Myeongjeon could also feel the eyes of those around them.
“There are so many people.”
Iseo seemed to feel the same way, because those were the first words she said upon seeing Myeongjeon.
“If you knew it was crowded, why did you suggest coming?”
“Because Hyeona unnie seemed stressed. I wanted to help her blow off some steam.”
People were bound to get stressed from time to time. Did that mean you had to help them blow off steam every single time? This was what young people were like these days… Tsk, tsk.
But separate from that, Myeongjeon did feel that it was necessary to spend time on activities like this. After all, a band was ultimately a small society of its own, and it needed a certain amount of care.
“As far as I know, Hongdae didn't used to have an Animate. There weren't any otaku… otaku shops or anything, either.”
“Huh? Then where did people buy merch?”
“They had to buy it all through overseas sales.”
While Myeongjeon was thinking that, Iseo and Hyeona began an animated conversation in front of them. Hyeona in particular looked much more lively than she had earlier.
“Apparently, there weren't any stores like Animate back then. So, for things like merch, people had to go to Seoul Comic World and buy things made by fans, or visit the occasional shop operating in Hongdae and buy them there.”
“No way.”
“Apparently, one of Hongdae's otaku holy sites was a shop called Volks, or something like that?? It was the kind of store that sold ball-jointed dolls… But they sold figures there too, along with things like Gundam.”
“But apparently, when someone bought an expensive doll, they would lock the doors, hold an event, read out an oath, and say, ‘You've adopted it~,’ while everyone applauded. Apparently, there was a time like that, too.”
“Really? That's so romantic.”
Myeongjeon looked at Hyeona. Judging by the way her eyes had lit up, she must have been the type who loved it when other people took an interest in the things she liked. That impression remained even after they reached their destination. Hyeona kept her eyes sparkling as she picked up one item after another with Iseo, excitedly explaining everything.
“Wow, look at the size of this shop. Amazing. I kept thinking I should come see it someday, but I never actually did… I should've come sooner.”
“Couldn't you have just come whenever you wanted?”
“It's not that easy. Coming somewhere like this alone…”
Once again, a question mark appeared over Iseo's face. Myeongjeon felt the same way. Regardless of what anyone else thought, Hyeona continued wandering around the store, muttering things like “Amazing,” “Amazing,” and “This is insane,” picking up merch and wearing an expression of pure happiness.
“This is…”
While that was happening, Myeongjeon picked up a manga. It featured a pink-haired girl holding a guitar. The guitar looked like a Les Paul Black Beauty… though maybe not. It might have been a different model year.
“That's the manga the music we're practicing in our ensemble comes from.”
“Really? How interesting…”
At Myeongjeon's offhand remark, Hyeona came right up beside them as though she were ready to explain everything. “This manga is about the protagonist here meeting three other girls, forming a band, and running it together. It has a lot of really interesting content because it overlaps with Japan's live-house culture. The protagonist has social anxiety, but she's an incredible guitarist, so she's famous on YouTube under the name Guitar Hero…”
Feeling as though their ears were bleeding for some reason, Myeongjeon put the manga back down.
“You're not going to look at it?”
“I don't usually read manga.”
Ignoring Hyeona's disappointed expression, Myeongjeon looked at a small screen nearby. Playing softly there was Ajikan's 転がる岩、君に朝が降る (Rolling Rock, Morning Falls on You).
“This is… Iseo, you asked me to play this before, didn't you?”
“Yeah.”
“Did this one appear in the manga too?”
At Seoha's question, Hyeona and Iseo answered. It had appeared as the ending song in episode twelve, and they explained what sort of feelings it carried, how it had been sung, and so on. Hyeona in particular explained it with tremendous enthusiasm.
Myeongjeon felt as though the mystery of how someone who seemed to have little interest in rock knew a song released more than fifteen years ago had been partially solved.
* * *
Hyeona looked happy, apparently having relieved some of her stress. At Iseo's suggestion that they have some coffee before parting ways, the group headed to a nearby café.
“Sigh…”
“Why are you sighing all of a sudden?”
“No, it's nice to hang out like this, but… thinking about having to perform again is making me feel down.”
A sudden thought occurred to Hyeona, and she began complaining. She had felt the same way earlier. Looking at that place packed with otaku, she wondered how much ordinary people must have laughed at them. She felt as though she had even received a few covert looks of contempt.
“I'm telling you, that's seriously just you being way too self-conscious…”
“Unnie, stop beating a dead horse.”
The others' replies were clearly telling her to stop. Seoha wore an expression that seemed to say, Why are you doing this again?, and Iseo looked much the same. But what was Hyeona supposed to do about worrying? Just as being told not to think about an elephant made you think of an elephant, she knew she was doing it, but she couldn't help continuing to think about it.
“Then shall we try an experiment?”
But Suyeon said something Hyeona had not expected at all. An experiment?
“…What kind of experiment?”
“The one to find out how much other people actually care when you sing that otaku song you're talking about.”
“What?”
Hyeona's thoughts froze for a moment. What did she mean? Did she want to find out how much other people would care if they sang an otaku song? It was difficult to understand.
But Suyeon seemed to have something in mind, and she began doing something in a corner. She opened her guitar case, propped the guitar against the wall, and placed the open case in front of herself. Then she called Iseo over and said something to her.
“You want me to hum?”
“You know the song, right?”
“Uh… I roughly know it… Are you really going to sing? Here? With this many people around?”
“What's the big deal?”
After that exchange, Suyeon cleared her throat. The small “ahem” sounded strangely loud.
“Shouldn't we go stop her…?”
“Why?”
Feeling embarrassed by what Suyeon was doing, Hyeona tried speaking to Seoha. But Seoha countered as though there was nothing wrong with it at all.
“Just watch.”
As Seoha said that, Suyeon began humming. It was loud enough to make everyone nearby turn their heads—a sweet hum replacing the guitar melody at the beginning of the song.
As soon as Suyeon began singing, Iseo hesitated, then shyly stood behind Suyeon and began adding the a cappella vocals.
The people's eyes focused on them. At first, they seemed to wonder what the two were doing, but soon their gazes drifted away. At the end of those gazes were simply two high-school girls dressed rather ordinarily.
‘She sings really well.’
Hyeona thought that while standing far away from them. The moment Suyeon began humming, she had abandoned Seoha and hurried off to a distant spot. But Seoha had remained right there.
‘I don't think Suyeon-nim knows this song. Or, judging by what she said to Iseo earlier, did she know it after all?’
For some reason, Hyeona looked around. Perhaps because they were not far from the Hongdae Animate building… There were people she had seen at Animate earlier, as well as many others who gave off the kind of vibe that suggested they might visit places like that.
And some of them seemed to be keeping their distance from Suyeon, looking slightly disgusted.
Just like Hyeona herself.
But Suyeon didn't care.
And the other people passing by didn't care much, either.
Some of them stopped near Suyeon and listened. Some put coins or bills into the guitar case, while others held up their phones to film or record something.
Softly, yet powerfully. Suyeon's voice spread outward, gradually settling into a lower register.
With her feet planted firmly on the ground, as if saying, I am here. As if saying, I will do what I want. As if saying, I don't need to care about other people at all.
That was how Suyeon sang. She closed her eyes and snapped her fingers, paying no attention whatsoever to how other people were looking at her.
And finally, when all the lyrics had ended.
Suyeon's voice did not end.
She continued the melody by humming.
Something that had not existed in the original. Something whose potential the original had hinted at.
All of it was reinterpreted by Suyeon and flowed from her lips.
Without realizing it, Hyeona began moving forward. From the spot where she had fled, she took one step, then two. Three steps, then four.
At last, when the song ended, a small round of applause followed. Some people put money into the guitar case, some applauded enthusiastically, and some even said a few brief words to Suyeon.
“What do you think?”
Once the atmosphere had returned to normal, Suyeon asked Hyeona. Hyeona couldn't give her a proper answer. For some reason, she found it difficult to respond at all.
At first, Hyeona had left without knowing why. Then, when she looked around, she realized that many people had acted just as she had.
Why?
When Hyeona failed to answer, Suyeon spoke.
“People don't really pay much attention to other people. If you think of it in terms of music, well, if there's good music, they listen and enjoy it. If they don't like it, they just leave.”
“Of course, there will be people who laugh at you. They might say, ‘What kind of music is that person making?’ Or call it lowbrow music. Or say it's music of poor quality. There are plenty of people like that.”
The honorifics had disappeared, and Suyeon's speech had shifted into casual language. Yet for some reason, the three people besides Suyeon all felt that this was Suyeon's natural way of speaking.
“But there aren't as many of those people as you think, and they don't have that much influence. There will always be people who dislike you, wherever you go in the world.”
“Can you be loved by everyone?”
“If you go around being kind to everyone you see, one of them will dislike you for putting on an act. If you donate everything you own? They'll curse you as an idiot with no future and no prospects.”
“Either way, there will inevitably be people who dislike you. You can't get rid of those people entirely.”
“But right now, you're overestimating those people's influence inside your own head. In reality, they can't do anything to you. All they can do is say this or that about you.”
Despite the content of her words, Suyeon's tone was cold enough to send shivers down one's spine. Her gaze seemed to look down on Hyeona. But that pressure vanished as if it had been washed away.
“Think it over carefully. If you still say you really can't do it, we'll just cancel the festival performance. Think it over and tell me.”
After saying that, Suyeon left. Iseo followed her for a moment, then came back.
“Suyeon just left.”
“Yeah…”
Hyeona felt conflicted. But she also felt as though something had become clearer. It was as if a tangled skein were coming undone, as if things were somehow being resolved.
In reality, nothing had been resolved.
Her worries remained entirely unresolved.
If Hyeona went onstage like this, there was still a chance that the friends she had timidly managed to make would recoil in disgust and cast her off. The “otaku” label she had barely kept at arm's length might be attached to her, turning her into someone shunned at school. That possibility still existed.
And in the first place, the song Suyeon had just sung wasn't even an otaku song. It was a rock-band song in the original, wasn't it? It seemed like something they could play at a school festival without causing any trouble… Without causing trouble? Anyway, it seemed like a song they could perform.
But Suyeon's attitude. Her actions. It was as if she were saying that the problems Hyeona had been worrying about all this time were petty things not worth worrying over… An attitude that somehow made them feel that way.
Nothing had been resolved, but Hyeona somehow felt as though everything had been resolved.
“Yeah! Well, let's do it. Let's do it.”
“Huh?”
“Let's do it. I've decided. I'm going to do it properly.”
Hyeona muttered in a resolute tone. Iseo looked at her unnie fondly, but Seoha, on the other hand…
“Finally?”
After saying that, Hyeona smacked her on the shoulder.