Chapter 89
To understand why this happened, we need to go back in time for a moment—to around when Group Sound’s performance had ended.
“Our band… will choose the Dohwaseo team as our mentors.”
“Good! I’m telling you, that’s an excellent choice.”
It was a battle over mentees, half joking and half serious. Promises flew around like a chaotic marketplace: “If you choose us, Group Sound, we’ll replace all the clothes you’re wearing with designer brands,” and “If you work with us, we’ll let Group Sound handle all the featured appearances on our albums!!”
Amid all that, the mentor team chosen by Group Sound was ‘Dohwaseo,’ consisting of singer-songwriter ‘Doyeon’ and solo guitarist ‘Kim Jinseo.’
Myeongjeon cited “because you seemed the most sincere about being mentors…” as the reason she chose ‘Dohwaseo,’ but the real reason was that they “didn’t seem like they’d interfere much.”
‘They might come in claiming to be mentors and spout nothing but nonsense…’
Even so, they were professional musicians, so they would at least try to offer useful advice. But that advice was only useful for bands at the level of those participating in this program. For Myeongjeon, who was a high school girl by age but had a career on a professor’s level, it was hardly necessary.
Several more performances followed. The picks that had been saved for the sake of choosing Group Sound began to be used freely, and toward the very end of filming, the MC even shouted things like, “This is the last chance!! An opportunity to change your pick!!”
Some mentors actually changed their picks, and bands appeared that fell from heaven to hell, as well as bands that climbed from hell to heaven.
Once all that chaos had been sorted out and the six bands to be eliminated had been selected, the MC came back to the front of the stage and began delivering his next announcement.
“The bands that were not chosen today… it isn’t over yet. Repechage! Through the losers’ revival round, you’ll have another chance to come back to life. Even the bands picked today can’t relax. Lions returning from hell may pounce on your necks!”
The MC, who had been shouting enthusiastically, paused to catch his breath before opening his mouth again with a solemn expression.
“And now, one more important thing remains. What exactly is the mission for the next round? And what role will today’s audience vote score play? Many of you must be wondering. Here is your answer!”
When the MC pointed at the screen with his cue card, typography began appearing across it amid intense visual effects. Twenty-four songs. Idol names unfamiliar to Myeongjeon, such as ‘Bulletproof Boy Scouts,’ ‘Noise,’ and ‘Girlfriend.’
“The mission for the next round is ‘arrangement.’ It is an undeniable reality that the current Korean music scene is being led by ‘idols’!”
Most of the songs on the list were fairly safe choices. They were well known to the public and reasonably suitable for rearrangement as band songs.
“The mission for the next round is to choose one song from this list of twenty-four and bring us your arrangement of it! Through this, we intend to evaluate the bands’ sense of arrangement, creativity, and many other factors. Any genre is fine! The more shocking and unusual, the better your score may be. Performance will also be given weight! But most important of all, it has to be ‘good.’”
But the bands focused on ‘certain songs’ rather than most of the others. Myeongjeon heard comments from around her like, “I really hope we don’t get that one,” “What the hell is Katrina…?” and “Still, it’s better than Jumping.” What kind of songs were they to provoke reactions like that?
“Have you heard the songs down there?”
“No?”
“Aren’t they songs from about ten years ago? I’ve heard the names, at least.”
At Iseo and Seoha’s words, Myeongjeon cocked her head slightly. She didn’t know what kind of songs they were, but judging from everyone’s reactions, they didn’t seem to be particularly good.
“And the criterion for choosing these songs is… the audience score ranking! Your selection priority will be based on the score the audience gave your performance! In other words! The first choice goes to [WEKIDS], who ranked first in audience score! And [Group Sound], who ranked last with the audience, will have no choice but to perform the one song left at the end!”
The audience reacted with shock. But Myeongjeon thought, Is this really such a problem? Idol songs were ultimately made to be listened to, weren’t they? Then there shouldn’t be any major problem.
* * *
“What are we going to do?”
It was an arrangement meeting. But they had made no progress. Listening to a song that left her completely unsure where to begin, Myeongjeon clutched her head.
It felt like the first time in her decades-long musical life that she had faced such a predicament. On her phone screen, as if mocking her, female idols were dancing as though they were imitating a V6 engine. Wearing tracksuits, they placed their hands on their knees and jerked them outward in little pops, spun their heads around as if leaving afterimages, and performed a crab-leg dance.
The lyrics might have been forgivable if they were at least tame, but they were nothing of the sort. Throughout the song, all she could make out was “Jumping!” and “Pop pop pop!” They shouted other things too, but after the song ended, all that remained in her head was “Jumping! Pop pop up! Jumping! Pop! Jump along with me! Like popcorn!” and whatever else.
Even so, the girls did bring in some arrangement ideas. They suggested refining the disco-style melody and turning it into disco rock, or ignoring the lyrics and adding a band sound to make it into a ballad-like song.
But every idea seemed bad to Myeongjeon. Some were too safe, while others didn’t fit the existing concept or lyrics. She herself couldn’t even touch the song, but wrong was wrong, as far as Myeongjeon was concerned.
“This is kind of addictive.”
Whether she understood Myeongjeon’s feelings or not… for some reason, Iseo and Hyuna, both wearing tracksuits, were copying the dance from the music video. Seeing their jerky movements and the way they occasionally missed the beat, Myeongjeon could understand why kids these days called things ‘rage-inducing.’ That must have been the kind of situation the term was for.
“When did you say the next filming was?”
While ignoring the two who were dancing for lack of anything better to do, Seoha asked a question.
“Hmm… We do have a fair amount of time before the next filming, at least…”
“We also have to do a mentor checkup, right?”
“That’s the biggest problem. I don’t think we’ll come up with an idea before then.”
Myeongjeon ran a hand through her hair. If she only had to make the song, the time itself wasn’t particularly short, but including practice, the schedule was quite tight.
On top of that, they had to deal with things like mentor evaluations, so their fate in the audition hinged on how quickly they could settle on a concept for the song.
‘Should we just get eliminated?’
Myeongjeon was confident in just about anything involving music, but this mission seemed impossibly difficult. Was it really possible to turn trot-flavored disco idol pop into band music that people could actually listen to? Wouldn’t it be better to aim for the losers’ revival round, get eliminated, and then climb back up from there?
But Myeongjeon soon abandoned that thought. There was a possibility, but she didn’t even know what mission might come next. She couldn’t recklessly decide, ‘That’s what we’ll do~’ and simply give up.
Besides, why had she performed in such a way during Round 1? To show an overwhelming performance that declared no one could eliminate her. If she then got eliminated in Round 2, she would become a laughingstock throughout the land.
Yet the reality was that she had no particularly clever solution. Myeongjeon stared at the ceiling for a moment before lowering her head. They had to do something somehow, but was there really no way?
“Ah! I just thought of something good.”
While she was lost in thought, Iseo suddenly let out a piercing shriek and came running across the rehearsal room.
“If it’s not actually a good idea and you just say some weird nonsense, I’m going to hit you.”
“No, I’m telling you, it’s really a good idea. This song is kind of, you know… in the words of us denture-wearers, ‘brain-dead,’ right?”
Myeongjeon unconsciously muttered, “You didn’t have to call us denture-wearers,” but Iseo paid no attention and continued.
“Then how about we reinforce that even further?”
“What does that mean?”
“I mean, like this…” Iseo spun around again and demonstrated movements like the engine dance. “Let’s take all of that and amplify it to the extreme. Make it feel even more unhinged.”
“I think I know what you mean.”
Myeongjeon muttered that to herself. It did make some sense. There had been plenty of cases of rearranging idol songs into rock over the years. Yoon Do-hyun Band’s [Run Devil Run] on [I Am a Singer], and Sinawi’s [Gangnam Style], for example.
But the reason Myeongjeon hadn’t considered that approach was that it was an idea even she, despite being unfamiliar with modern culture, could easily come up with. Twist something ‘brain-dead’ and perform it ‘coolly’? Make a good song out of it? Wasn’t that too safe a choice?
In that respect, she actually liked Iseo’s concept quite a lot. Since things had come to this, it seemed to mean pushing it as far as possible.
“It’s a good idea… but the problem is that I don’t know how to do it. The song already has a B-grade vibe, and I don’t think adding more will turn it into anything. Making something B-grade even more bargain-bin and turning it into C-grade doesn’t automatically make it better or funnier, does it?”
“Yeah, that’s true.”
Iseo’s voice grew slightly dejected. Myeongjeon folded and unfolded her arms, twisted her hair, and clutched her head again and again. The road was visible, but she couldn’t walk down it. What were they supposed to do?
“Hey, hey, hey. Listen to this. I think this might work!”
Seoha suddenly shook her shoulders and thrust her phone forward. Myeongjeon had no idea what it was, so she put in the earphones Seoha handed her and took a sip of coffee.
Then, when she heard the song, she spat out the coffee.
“Aagh!”
Iseo, struck by a bolt of coffee from a clear sky, screamed, but Myeongjeon paid no attention. The drum coming through her earphones. The rough sound that had absolutely no business matching the high-pitched vocals, and yet fit them precisely because of that.
‘This is it!’
* * *
After the production of Invasion 2024 was officially announced, the reactions online differed slightly from one community to another, but they were consistent in their overall direction.
‘Why the hell are they making a second one?’
Invasion 2023 had enjoyed middling success, middling ratings, middling talent, and middling everything else. It hadn’t failed, but it hadn’t flourished either. As a result, very few people had expected Invasion 2024 to be produced.
[(Exclusive) Invasion from Seoul (Invasion from Seoul)’s main producer is PD Yoon Donguk… Will the ‘Cruel Audition’ be recreated?]
But public opinion quickly turned around. The return of PD Yoon Donguk, ‘Yoon the Bastard,’ who had led Mtown’s auditions through their greatest heyday. It wasn’t an idol audition, his main specialty, but at the production presentation, Yoon Donguk had even personally declared, “We’ll show you entertainment that has developed even further.”
As a result, passionate audition viewers who had been saying, ‘Auditions these days are so bland and boring,’ flocked to the show, and the noise that created drew in casual viewers once again.
Before the audition had even aired, it began to be mentioned across countless online communities. Around the time posts like [Is it really okay to let Yoon Donguk return to audition shows like this?], [Ethical broadcasting is so important these days…], [Ah lol, if you’re looking forward to fucking God Donguk, upvote lol], and [Bands are entertainers too, aren’t they? Isn’t the whole point to debut after enduring public humiliation? Is someone holding a knife to their throats?] began appearing near the tops of the communities…
What set those reactions off was an interview inserted near the beginning of Episode 0. Four female band members entered the audition venue. One exceptionally pretty girl introduced herself by saying, “Hello, I’m Ha Suyeon.”
Then came the inserted interview.
[Q: How long have you been playing guitar?]
[A: A little over a year.]
[Q: Isn’t it difficult?]
[A: It’s not difficult. Anyone can do it if they just learn everything. I think it’s a little strange to consider it difficult.]
The next scene showed other participating bands playing guitar.
[I’m working hard!]
[Guitar is difficult, right.]
[I’m a beginner, but I’m learning!]
The contestants’ answers seemed to emphasize their positive efforts. Then the scene showed the female contestant ‘Ha Suyeon’ staring at them without emotion.
It was the sort of scene that made the production staff’s intentions obvious just by looking at it, and online communities began to seethe.