Chapter 56
If you asked people to name the most eccentric figures in the martial world, several names would come to mind.
Saber Immortal Peng Woo-deok, who asks everyone he meets, ‘Do you know the Saber?’
Mad Demon Dokgo Jin, who tears up the surrounding area whenever one of his fits strikes, yet never lays a hand on ordinary people who haven’t learned martial arts.
Lecher Wi Ilcheong, whose name is constantly linked to women wherever he goes.
Divine Doctor Un-yeong, who treats any patient, whether good or evil.
And plenty of others.
But if you asked them to name the weakest among them, everyone would name Divine Doctor Un-yeong.
And for good reason: Un-yeong had never learned martial arts.
Eun Yak-byeok asked as she watched Un-yeong finish examining her.
“…How is she?”
“Nothing out of the ordinary. There’s nothing wrong with her body at all. More importantly… Ahahaha! Are you really the Mad Demon?”
“I told you I am, damn it…”
“Come on, heh heh. I can’t believe it even seeing it with my own eyes. That Dokgo Jin turned into such a cute little girl… Ack! That hurts, it hurts…”
“Want to die for real?”
“No, really. You never used to hit me, so why are you doing it now?”
“You bastard, I’m weak as hell right now. I’m allowed to hit you a little.”
“Ahahaha! To hear Dokgo Jin call himself weak… Ah! Ow! It hurts! Please, stop!”
“Just! Shut! Up!”
“If you keep that up, I’ll tell the Sword God!”
“You damn bastard… I’ll drown you in shit… you stupid, one-eyed bastard…”
When Dokgo Ryeong sat up, Un-yeong grinned at her.
“You’re still scared of the Sword God, I see?”
“Want another hit?”
“If you’re only hitting me without using your inner energy, it’s actually kind of cute, like my little girl throwing a tantrum… Ow! I’m sorry! I’ll stop messing around.”
“You little…”
“Haa… Guest, the Divine Doctor was on my back all night. You could at least treat him a little more kindly.”
“That’s right! It was so terrifying… The scenery was flying past so fast I thought I was going to die!”
“…”
Dokgo Ryeong grumbled.
“Honestly, you’re too damn nice.”
“Ahaha, even your insults have lost some of their bite.”
“Quit laughing so obnoxiously, you bastard.”
“I’m happy, that’s all.”
Un-yeong gazed at Dokgo Ryeong warmly.
“You won’t fight anymore now, right?”
“…”
“…Am I wrong?”
As Un-yeong’s warm gaze suddenly turned cold, Dokgo Ryeong broke into a cold sweat.
‘Ah, shit. I’m screwed…’
Sure enough, Un-yeong began to lecture her.
“Damn it! This is why martial artists are all the same! What’s so great about fighting that you’re constantly coming back injured?!”
“Ah… no, wait… Un-yeong. Let me explain for a second…”
“Honestly! Why did you even call me here, then?! I patch you up, and you’ll just come back injured again.”
“I… No, it’s not like I enjoy fighting… They keep coming after me…”
“Who’s coming after you?! Just ask me! I can bow my head to the Sword God once, can’t I? He’d stop the fight for you, so why do you have to fight them?!”
“Why does that old geezer keep…”
“I’ve had enough. I’ll break your legs now so you can’t move.”
“Hey, you crazy bastard! You’re a doctor, you bastard!!”
“Ah, right. I almost forgot. Let’s do something else.”
Un-yeong pulled a thick acupuncture needle from the pouch he had brought with him.
At the sight of it, Dokgo Ryeong trembled like a leaf.
“You… You bastard…! I told you I hate those things!”
“Then I keep telling you, don’t come to me if you hate them.”
“Shit! Why would you need a needle?! Hey! Hao Sect Leader! Stop that bastard!!”
Dokgo Ryeong clung to Eun Yak-byeok, but Eun Yak-byeok used telekinesis to pin her in place instead.
“Please stick it wherever the Divine Doctor thinks is best.”
“Hehe, I’ll think about where it’ll hurt the most and feel the best.”
“Aah! Hey! I really fucking hate that thing!!”
“Hehehe. They say the more it hurts, the better it is for your body.”
“Shit! Shit, shit, shit!!!”
“Just accept it, Mad—no, young lady.”
“Fuuuuuck!!!!”
Dokgo Ryeong’s screams echoed through the brothel.
*
Dokgo Jin and Un-yeong’s first meeting had been a chance encounter.
On a day when rain poured as if a hole had opened in the sky, Un-yeong ducked inside to escape the downpour and found the wounded Dokgo Jin in an old shrine.
“Who the fuck are you?”
“I see someone got here before me. Your breathing sounds labored. Are you hurt?”
“Get lost. Don’t come any closer.”
Dokgo Jin growled, but Un-yeong ignored him and came closer.
“I’m a physician. If you show me your wound…”
“I said get lost!”
When Dokgo Jin swung his sword, a thin line appeared across Un-yeong’s forehead.
But even in the face of his fierce rejection, Un-yeong didn’t back down.
“I’m a physician. I treat people.”
“Next time, I’ll cut your throat.”
“Go ahead. If you could cut me, you would’ve done it already.”
“…Do you think I’m bluffing?”
Dokgo Jin held his sword to Un-yeong’s throat.
Just then, lightning flashed outside, illuminating Un-yeong’s face.
A grotesque scar marred his left eye.
“Your… eye…”
“Ah, yes. I lost one eye after showing the same reckless courage before.”
“The One-Eyed Physician…”
“I’m glad you know the name. I don’t care for that nickname. It sounds too ominous for a physician, ahaha.”
“…”
“Would you show me your wound?”
In the end, Dokgo Jin gave up and let him treat him.
Un-yeong used a fire striker to light a fire inside the old shrine, then began examining Dokgo Jin’s wound.
“…You’ve been poisoned. I’ll have to cut away some of the damaged flesh.”
“Fine…”
“You must be that ‘Mad Demon’ everyone’s been talking about lately. Am I right?”
“…You can tell just by looking at my wound?”
“Of course. Only the Tang Clan would use poison like this. Oh, don’t move.”
Un-yeong was a talkative man.
He chattered about all sorts of trivial things throughout the treatment, so much that Dokgo Jin felt as if his ears were going to bleed.
“So, my daughter was born recently. Isn’t it amazing? She’s so tiny and wriggly, it’s just incredible…”
“Enough with the happy stories. Tell me something depressing. How did you lose your eye?”
Dokgo Jin’s sharp words were meant to make Un-yeong shut up, but they had no effect.
“Ahaha, it’s nothing special. I met an injured martial artist like you today, reached out to treat his wound without knowing a thing, and lost an eye.”
“…You’re crazy.”
“Me? Or the person who took my eye?”
“Both of you.”
“Ahaha, you’re right.”
As Un-yeong laughed so hard he wheezed, Dokgo Jin became certain he really was crazy.
He began wrapping the wound in bandages and continued speaking.
“Well… I don’t regret it. I just can’t help myself when I see someone who’s been hurt.”
“You’ll die young.”
“I hear that a lot. But from where I’m standing, you look more likely to die young, patient.”
After finishing the bandages, Un-yeong looked at Dokgo Jin.
“Some martial artists claim they’re immune to every poison, but I don’t believe that. Poison stays in the body and destroys it from within. That’s why everyone fears the Tang Clan.”
“I appreciate you treating me, but I’ll pass on the unsolicited advice. More importantly, who gouged out your eye?”
“Pardon?”
“I have to repay you for treating me. I’ll gouge out the eye of whoever took yours.”
“Heh heh heh… It’s all right. He’s already dead.”
“…Did you kill him?”
“Me? Of course not. How could I kill the Demon Cult’s leader?”
“…What?”
For a moment, Dokgo Jin doubted his own ears.
“The one who gouged out your eye… was the Demon Cult’s leader?”
“Ah, yes. He’s the ‘former’ Demon Cult Leader now.”
“You’re quite the liar.”
“Ahaha, I knew you’d say that. That’s why I always keep a lifeline handy.”
Un-yeong took something out of his clothes.
It was an old, worn piece of paper.
“Have a look.”
“…”
Dokgo Jin took the paper and read the writing by the light of the torch.
[This man, named ‘Un-yeong,’ lives in Jiangsu Province and is a benefactor of Namgung Woncheong, the Martial Alliance Leader. I will personally express my gratitude to anyone who takes good care of him, but should he come to any harm, I swear by my name that I will wipe out his entire clan.]
“T-The Sword God…”
“Ahaha, I hear that’s what people have been calling him lately.”
“…”
Dokgo Jin took another look at Un-yeong.
“Wait… You treated both the Demon Cult Leader and the Martial Alliance Leader?”
“Yes. That’s just the kind of person I am.”
“…You’re crazy.”
“Ahaha, didn’t I tell you? I hear that a lot.”
Un-yeong picked up a wooden board and wrote something on it.
“Take this to the nearest apothecary, and they’ll give you what you need. Apply it to your wound regularly. I’d like to tell you not to fight, but… hm… you’ll probably fight again anyway, won’t you?”
“…I will.”
“Haa… I suppose it can’t be helped. If you’re badly injured, come find me in Jiangsu. If you really can’t make it, send a carrier pigeon. I’ll come to you.”
“Are you sure that’s all right?”
“Ahaha, what else can I do? They say even a brush of the sleeves is fate. The fact that we met like this today must be fate, too.”
“…I don’t have any money.”
“I don’t need money.”
“…?”
Dokgo Jin tilted his head, seemingly unable to understand.
“Then what do you want?”
“Hmm… Every now and then, bring me a spiritual beast’s inner core or something. I’ve got plenty of money, ahaha.”
“…You really are a strange man.”
“What of it?”
Un-yeong gathered his belongings and stood up.
“The rain’s eased up a little. I should get going. I have another patient.”
“…There are bandits around here…”
“I know them all, so it’s fine. More importantly, you should stay another day, patient.”
“…”
When Dokgo Jin silently nodded, Un-yeong laughed heartily and bowed his head.
“Ahaha, then let’s never meet again! Stay healthy and live a long life.”
“Take care.”
“Yes, then.”
That was how Dokgo Jin and Un-yeong met.
No one knew how their connection from that day would continue.
*
Un-yeong chuckled wryly as he sipped tea, reminiscing about the past.
“And that’s how the Mad Demon was… Haa… I shouldn’t have kept putting up with you after that. Ahaha.”
“…Shit, you said you’d give me something if I found spirit beast cores.”
“I didn’t know you’d find so many. And I didn’t expect you to steal them, either.”
“…”
After that, whenever Dokgo Jin suffered a serious injury or obtained a decent spirit pill or spiritual medicine, he would go to Jiangsu and bring it to Un-yeong.
At first, Un-yeong had said, ‘Come whenever you’re injured! I’ll treat you!’ But later, he’d scold her, saying, ‘Damn it, why do you keep coming when you’re just going to get hurt again after I patch you up?!’
Remembering the wounds Dokgo Jin had brought him each time she visited, Un-yeong grimaced and looked at Dokgo Ryeong.
“…So you’re going to keep fighting from now on, too?”
“No… It’s not that I want to fight…”
“Want me to get that death warrant revoked? All I have to do is ask the old Sword God…”
“Oh…?”
Dokgo Ryeong perked up at that, but Eun Yak-byeok shook her head.
“He probably won’t listen. Don’t you remember how much the Sword God opposed his son becoming the Martial Alliance Leader? He made a huge fuss about not wanting hereditary succession.”
“…True. He does hate anything unfair.”
“More importantly, Divine Doctor, what do you make of Miss Dokgo’s condition?”
“I don’t know!”
Un-yeong flatly denied it.
“I… don’t have any talent for martial arts. Was it called the Moon Shadow Divine Art?”
“Yes.”
“Wouldn’t the Hao Sect Leader be the one to diagnose that? I’ve been out of my depth ever since a man turned into a woman.”
“You’ve seen people undergo the Rebirth of Body and Bone several times, haven’t you?”
“Their sex didn’t change, though. Even Great Hero Namgung Jin, the current Martial Alliance Leader, only saw improvements in the quality of his muscles, so to speak, when he underwent the Rebirth of Body and Bone. He got a little younger, too. But this…”
Un-yeong grinned as he looked at Dokgo Ryeong.
“…What is it, bastard?”
“I really don’t know. So you became a woman just because you had too much yin energy… I never would’ve imagined it.”
“What about the inner core?”
“It’s the same with inner cores. Prescribing a yin core to someone with strong yang energy is meant to balance them. He would still have had stronger yang energy. I’ve never seen yin and yang reverse like that.”
“…”
With even the Divine Doctor unable to offer an answer, Eun Yak-byeok fell into thought.
Just then, Un-yeong looked at Dokgo Ryeong and said,
“Mad Demon.”
“What?”
“Why don’t you just spread your legs once?”