Chapter 45
The sports festival was over, and midterms were next week.
And then the weekend arrived.
Vita had been unable to sleep at all the night before.
Perhaps she had become sentimental after being swept up in the mood of a chilly autumn night.
‘What am I supposed to do…?’
It was a feeling even she herself couldn't understand.
Lately, Vita had been having thoughts like this quite often.
She had originally been a man and had lived as one all her life. Before she knew it, she had become a woman—and adapted to it.
Every now and then, she found herself questioning her identity.
‘Is this really right…?’
Even though she had somewhat adapted to this life, she couldn't help having these troubling thoughts.
Let's go back to being a man.
She had kept thinking that.
But why, exactly?
Recently, that thought seemed to have lost its force, leaving her confused even though there was no reason for it.
Why had she simply remained in Carlisle's arms?
At some point, her parents had begun treating her as a woman, and confused by their attitude, she had once asked them a question.
-Mom… Am I strange?
-Of course not. You're a girl now, so there's nothing strange about dating a boy.
That was her mother's answer.
Since she had become a woman, it was only natural that she adapt. Her body had become a woman's, so it wasn't strange for her mind to become a woman's as well.
As she recalled that answer, Vita felt strange.
But she pushed those thoughts into a corner of her mind and forcibly closed her eyes.
And then it was morning again. When she woke up rubbing her eyes, she found a message on her phone.
-The medicine's ready! Want to come pick it up tomorrow?
Vita's expression brightened.
“Ah, finally…”
She had been given a chance to become a man again. And now it was definite.
‘Don't overthink it.’
With that resolve, Vita got out of bed. She stretched, then once again regretted the pointless things she had said while defending Carlisle yesterday.
Well, even so. Nothing would change.
The fact that she would return to being a man wouldn't change.
Even if someone asked why, she had no way to explain it.
‘Because I was originally a man!’
That was the only reason.
And then there was another text.
-Have you had dinner, my almost-girlfriend?
Vita hadn't answered Carlisle yesterday.
“He's always spouting nonsense whenever he gets the chance.”
She didn't want to answer even his nonsense, after all.
But after hesitating, Vita answered him now. It was closer to a declaration than an answer, though.
-I'm busy today, so no contacting me or spouting nonsense.
She liked Emily. That was one undeniable truth!
Vita still believed that her wavering feelings toward Carlisle were because of hormones.
They weren't genuine feelings, she thought, and would disappear as soon as she returned to being a man.
“Shall I start getting ready?”
Then she had to try her hardest!
She had plans with Emily today, after all.
The confusion from moments ago vanished like a soap bubble, and Vita giggled.
***
A café downtown.
Murmurs filled the café, and eyes were turned her way.
Emily was used to things like this by now.
She knew very well how she appeared to other people, especially men.
Her flowing straight hair was soft as the Milky Way.
She had carefully applied peach-scented lip gloss. Her pale pink lips glistened with moisture.
Along with a white knit top and a moderately short plaid skirt, she wore a beige cardigan. Emily Swan looked every inch a lady.
But Emily let out another deep sigh as she sat by the café window.
‘What good is any of this…?’
She couldn't even win over the one man she liked. She had only ever liked one person, and she had never had a boyfriend.
Emily liked Carlisle, her seemingly cold and indifferent childhood friend.
It had happened relatively recently, but these days Emily Swan had a lot on her mind.
‘Carlisle definitely likes Bianca…’
That was surely the case. Though it stung, Emily thought that was all right.
Hadn't she clearly heard him say it?
[Actually, Emily…! There's already someone else I like.]
At least Bianca Shamal didn't seem to like her childhood friend, Carlisle.
That was what she had thought.
Especially when the two of them had fought, during their brief cold war, she had been almost certain of it.
‘But… it's strange.’
It really was strange, wasn't it? The atmosphere between them lately.
So now she was starting to think a little differently.
‘Could Bianca also…?’
There were signs of it. That feeling had grown particularly strong around the sports festival.
By sheer coincidence, she'd seen Carlisle pull down Bianca's bloomers, and afterward, Bianca had shown an unfiltered reaction without even realizing it.
‘People normally can't have that kind of physical contact without liking each other…’
For some reason, Emily felt as though there was even a wall between them that she could never get past. She bit her lip.
‘Haa…’
Her chest felt strangely tight, so she kept sucking on her straw, and the coffee slid down her throat. The cool drink made her feel a little better.
Bianca Shamal was a very attractive girl, even to Emily.
So it wasn't strange that Carlisle had fallen for her.
She was pure-hearted, quirky, and cute. Since they had recently grown closer, Emily knew that firsthand.
But the fact that she felt hurt somewhere in her heart—
‘Back then, you definitely…’
Didn't you say you liked someone else? Could it have been a lie?
Emily had arranged today's meeting to confirm that suspicion. She had steeled herself in her own way.
“Ah, Emily-!”
Bianca Shamal was approaching. Emily stood from her seat and immediately welcomed her.
“Ah, you're here-!”
“Am I a little late…?”
“No, not at all.”
Emily answered with a smile.
“I got here early because I had something to think about.”
“I-I see.”
Vita's heart fluttered.
It was an unprecedented day! From Vita's point of view, anyway.
-Do you want to study together this weekend?
Naturally, Vita had accepted Emily's suggestion without a moment's hesitation.
They were going to study together before midterms, and the one making the suggestion was the girl she had a crush on.
‘Since we're studying together anyway…’
It would have been even better if they were at Emily's house.
Vita licked her lips, but she was more than grateful for this much. The thought that her ideas had been a little lewd embarrassed her, too.
Well, anyway!
If someone asked what it meant for exams to be right around the corner, it meant that she and Carlisle would be rivals for a while.
That was why Vita had deliberately told him not to contact her. More than anything, she didn't want this time to be interrupted.
‘As expected, even today…’
Emily was incredibly beautiful.
Vita swallowed a brief gasp of admiration at the sight of her.
Emily knew how to dress. She even smelled nice.
Her heart was pounding.
‘Yes, as expected…’
She really did like Emily. Otherwise, this trembling made no sense.
“Sit down, Bianca. A café latte is okay, right?”
“Yeah! I like it.”
A little while later, the coffee arrived, and Vita took a sip before speaking.
“You didn't invite Sasha?”
Emily nodded in response to the curious question.
“No, today… it feels a little like a date?”
“A-a date!”
Vita's face turned red. Seeing her like that, Emily giggled.
“Well, more importantly, Sasha already said she had plans.”
“Ah, I see.”
Either way, Vita was happy.
As the two of them drank their coffee together, a waiter approached.
“A table just opened up.”
Since the waiter was a man, he looked rather nervous. Emily gave Vita a sweet smile.
“There's a room here, too. I asked for it earlier. Being out here is awkward in several ways, right?”
“I guess it is, a little?”
‘Because you're pretty, Emily.’
‘Because you're cute, Bianca.’
The boys would swarm them.
With those completely different thoughts, the two of them entered a small private room.
***
The room was smaller and neater than Vita had expected.
There was a table in the center, and it even had some manga.
“Oh, this is nice.”
“I'm glad you like it.”
The two of them set their bags down and sat around the table.
“By the way, Bianca, you dressed really nicely today.”
At the sudden compliment, Vita waved her hands.
“No, not at all!”
Partly because she felt awkward.
But Emily Swan's expression was utterly sincere.
“Really, I mean it. These are the clothes we bought when we went shopping last time, right?”
“Yeah, that's right.”
‘Because I picked them out with you.’
Vita had deliberately worn them out of consideration.
“They suit you so well. They're really pretty and feminine.”
Emily wore a pleased expression, as if she'd been proven right. Vita spoke shyly, fidgeting a little.
“I-I'm glad. I thought they might not suit me…”
“Huh? Not at all! Who said that?”
“Oh, no one. I just thought so myself…?”
Emily giggled.
“No, they look great on you.”
Vita felt reassured by the warm atmosphere.
‘I guess it doesn't feel awkward because we've been texting so often lately.’
She had been a little worried about whether it would be awkward if they were alone together.
But since it wasn't, she kept grinning.
“So, um… shall we start studying? What subject should we start with?”
“Hmm, math?”
“Did you know I'm bad at math, Bianca?”
“Of course I did!”
Vita said it, then immediately panicked. Emily tilted her head as if to say, ‘Had I ever told her that?’
Thinking about it, Vita had only overheard that by chance back when she was still a man.
‘I'm bad at math.’
After the final exams, she had merely overheard Emily saying it to her friends in a tearful voice.
There was only one reason she still remembered it: she liked Emily that much.
And sure enough, her heart was pounding.
‘I'm alone with Emily.’
That one fact alone was enough.
Naturally, she grew tense and became self-conscious.
Being alone with the girl she liked was no small thing.
‘Today, I'm going to get even closer to Emily.’
The thought made her feel as though she were floating.
Vita was good at math. Emily, on the other hand, happened to be weak at it.
‘I'll earn points with her naturally by teaching her the problems she doesn't know.’
Just as Vita was giving a triumphant smile at the thought—right as the two of them placed their books on the table—
Creak-
Someone entered the room.
“Oh, you're here.”
Emily's expression brightened. Since Emily was seated by the door, Vita turned around to look and froze with a blank expression.
“Huh, whaaat…?!”
The newcomer looked calm, as though he'd known in advance and come here on purpose.
“How long are you planning to study?”
When Carlisle casually sat down and asked, Emily held up her fingers.
“About three hours…?”
“Well, that's fine. Three hours exactly should be fine.”
Why was that guy here?
Vita was flustered.
‘My, Emily’s…’
A date alone with Emily—!
“Um, Emily…?”
When Vita looked at Emily with a puzzled expression, Emily was sitting there with a slightly awkward smile.
“Ta-da! A date for three!”
“I-is that so…?”
That's not a date, though, is it?
Emily was undeniably cute with both arms spread wide, though.
“The three of us haven't had a chance to get together lately because of the sports festival preparations.”
But since it was Emily's idea, Vita forced herself to accept it.
“Now that we're all here, shall we start studying?”
And so, Vita, Carlisle, and Emily Swan were all gathered together.
The study session with the three of them had just begun.
***
“How do I solve this…?”
A little over an hour had passed since the three of them began studying.
Emily let out a groan as she pondered the problem.
Vita could hardly concentrate. Her strongest rival was sitting right beside her, after all.
But it was a chance to score points with Emily.
There was no way she could let it pass her by.
‘Ah, I…!’
So she was just about to show Emily how to solve it.
“Hey, Carlisle.”
Emily was already practically clinging to Carlisle.
“Could you teach me this?”
“You don't know this?”
Carlisle looked somewhat annoyed, but he still slowly explained the problem.
“This curve is the graph of a function. If you find the instantaneous rate of change at each point on the line…”
“Then how do you calculate it?”
“Well, that's…”
Watching the two of them sitting so comfortably close together, Vita faltered.
‘No, I could…’
She could explain it well, too.
It had already happened about three times in the past hour. Vita kept trying to focus on studying, but for some reason, she couldn't.
‘Something's bothering me.’
It was definitely Emily—Vita couldn't stop thinking about her.
Dun dun-
Without realizing it, Vita's eyes began to tremble ever so slightly.